by Todd Kirby
Mary Lynn said with a smile. “I look forward to seeing you.”
Jeremy hung up the phone and stood up. As he walked away, he called out, “Always a pleasure, Ronnie.” After being escorted back to where his cell was, Jeremy could see Mac’s cell across the hall from his. Holding out the comic book, he asked the guard in a low voice. “Can you please give this to Mac?”
The guard looked at him strangely, then asked, “You want me to tell him it’s from you?”
“Nah,” Jeremy replied, “tell him it’s from the church lady who’s holding the Bible studies.”
The guard shrugged, but agreed. As he walked over to Mac’s cell, Jeremy heard the guard say, “Hey, this is from the church lady who holds the Bible studies,” as he slid the comic through the bars.
“NO WAY!” Mac said as his eyes got huge. Jeremy watched as Mac sat down on his bunk and started reading the comic, almost giggling with excitement.
As Jeremy went back to his own bunk, he couldn’t help but get a warm feeling deep down, like he had done something… good. Smiling to himself, he felt a tear roll down his cheek. “What the?” he said to himself as he wiped it away with his hand. Jeremy furrowed his brow and slowly looked up at the ceiling, like there was some invisible person up there he felt was watching him. “Hmph.” he said with disapproval.
The next time Mary Lynn and her church group came to the jail for a Bible study, they had about 12 convicts there. Mac was there. Between the comic books and the brownies, he was almost beside himself with joy. Jeremy was there, as were several others who had either heard about the brownies or were friends of Mac and Jeremy. A guy from the church group had a guitar, and he sang some songs. Then a preacher stood up and began to speak. He told the group how everybody ‘sins’, not just convicts. He told them that Jesus came to ‘save sinners’, and he asked if anybody wanted to be ‘saved’.
Jeremy had heard all of this before, although it had been a while. He mostly appreciated the effort these people were putting forth for the cons. He thought about his own gang, and how they stood by each other. But he also thought about how the gang treated anyone who wasn’t ‘in’ with them. What was it Allison had said about a conscience? Jeremy had beaten many a man to within an inch of his life, leaving some of them with permanent damage. “Ah,” Jeremy thought, “they deserved it. Every one of them.” But who was he trying to convince?
Mary Lynn’s group came in about once a month, and always brought sweets. Sometimes it was brownies, sometimes it was cookies. One hot summer day, it was Ronnie Murphy’s birthday so they brought in an ice cream cake. As word got out, more and more cons began coming to Mary Lynn’s little Bible study. Some of them even began attending her church when they got out, and that spoke volumes to Jeremy. It’s one thing to come visit these ‘poor, unfortunate souls’ when they’re under armed guard, but to let them into your church? That’s putting your money where your mouth is.
For the most part, Jeremy bided his time in jail as best he could, talking with Mac about the latest Green Lantern adventures, or talking with Ronnie about the good old days of high school. He also came to enjoy Mary Lynn’s Bible studies. She was very ‘no nonsense’, and he admired that in her. Sometimes when a con would try to justify certain activities, Mary Lynn would call them on it. She wasn’t mean, and she always reminded them that God loved them, but Mary Lynn didn’t back down from anyone. Sin was sin, and there was no gray area. She was like a teacher, even though she was only a couple of years older that Jeremy.
Ratchet had visited Jeremy a couple of times while he was incarcerated, but people who operate on the wrong side of the law generally don’t like to be in jails, even if they’re just visiting. One afternoon, Jeremy heard the guard call, “Bonds! Visitor!” so he went to the cell door and waited to be escorted to the visitors area. When he arrived, he saw a smiling Ratchet, already holding the phone on the other side of the window. Jeremy picked up the phone on his side and heard, “Hey kid, you about ready to be free again?”
“You have no idea…” Jeremy replied.
“I’ve been in jail before, kid.” Ratchet said, “I’m familiar enough with how you’re feeling. Honestly, I don’t like being in here even to visit. They feeding you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s okay.” said Jeremy, “but I can’t wait to get a big, greasy burger and fries at Jimmy’s.”
Ratchet laughed. “They still making you go to that Bible Study?” he asked.
“Nobody makes me go…” Jeremy said. “They seem like good people, like they care about the cons.”
“I’ve told you before kid,” said Ratchet, “caring will get you killed. Being in the pen can change you, for better or worse. Then when you finally get out, you’ve gotta readjust. Things out here are starting to get ugly with Roger and his people, can I still count on you?”
“Yeah.” Jeremy responded. “You can count on me.”
But Jeremy was saying it as much to convince himself as he was to convince Ratchet. As the two finished their conversation and hung up the phone, Jeremy thought to himself, “I just need to be on the outside again. Things will be back to normal once I’m on the outside...”
VERSE 5
(Disenchanted)
On the day Jeremy got out of jail, it was like he had a new lease on life. Things weren’t ‘bad’ in jail, but there is nothing in the world like freedom. As Jeremy gathered his personal belongings from the guard desk, he said his goodbyes to Ronnie.
“I don’t ever want to see you in here again, Bonds.” said Ronnie. “Unless you’re visiting.”
“That makes two of us.” Jeremy snickered.
As Ronnie handed Jeremy a pen to sign for his things, he said, “You should come to our church this Sunday. Really.”
“You want a con in with all of those nice people?” mocked Jeremy. “I don’t even own a suit.”
“It’s not important what you wear, It’s just important that you’re there.” Ronnie encouraged.
“I’ll think about it.” Jeremy lied. Grabbing the last of his things, he walked through the last set of iron bars and out the front door. The sky was blue, the sun was shining bright, and there sat Ratchet on his bike in the parking lot. Evidently one of the biker girls had ridden Jeremy’s bike there, and would ride on the back of Jeremy’s bike to Jimmy’s bar.
Overcome with the emotion of being free, Jeremy felt a tear start to well up in his eye. He quickly wiped it away and said, “Man, the sun is bright today… hurts my eyes.” As he walked over to his bike, the biker girl pulled a pair of sunglasses from her cleavage and offered the shades to Jeremy. He put them on and mounted his bike. After starting it up, he revved the engine a couple of times and looked back at the jail building. Then he turned to Ratchet and smiled. “Let’s ride.” he said over the roar of the motorcycles.
It felt good to ride again. The breeze of the wind on his face, the roar of the engine under his legs, the touch of a woman holding onto his waist. Six months was a long time to be without this, and Jeremy felt invincible again. They rode across town to Jimmy’s bar and parked their bikes in the parking lot. After dismounting, Jeremy helped the girl off the back of his bike. “Well… thank you kind sir…” she said with a wink. They entered the bar to cheers, and Ratchet called out, “Jimmy! Your greasiest burger and fries, please!”
As they sat down at their usual table, Ratchet commented, “It’s good to have you back, kid. We’ve missed you.”
“It’s good to be back.” Jeremy said, but he couldn’t help noticing that everything felt a little different. “What’s the latest on Roger and the Chupacabras?”
“Roger’s very clever.” Ratchet began. “The Chupacabras aren’t really that different from us in the way they run their business, but Roger has added an executive level to things. He uses computers to manage the supply chain, and they’ve upped the arms level. Everybody�
�s packing guns now.”
“Where are you getting guns for our boys?” Jeremy asked.
“Varies...” replied Ratchet, “but mostly from our ‘product’ supplier. I tell ya honestly kid, if you go high enough up, I’m not sure us and the Chupacabras aren’t getting our stuff from the same suppliers.”
A waitress came by with Jeremy’s burger and fries. As she set it down in front of him, she patted him on the back and said, “Good to see you back Jeremy. We missed you.”
Jeremy smiled at her and said, “Thanks.” Then he dug into his burger like he hadn’t eaten in six months. As Jeremy ate, Ratchet brought him up to speed on other matters of business that had changed since he was in jail. Jeremy tried to seem interested, but all he could think about was that everything felt different now. As pleasurable as it all was, Jeremy couldn’t help but think that there had to be something more to life .
“Are you listening to me kid?” he heard Ratchet say.
“What?” said Jeremy. “Oh, sorry man. I’m just… a little overwhelmed by everything right now.” As he finished the last