by Lea Hart
A slightly hysterical laugh threatened to bubble up and, with every ounce of control she had, she pushed it down. “Have a feeling that I’m about to do something very similar.”
“Call me when you decide where you’re going to land, and maybe we can get together and drink ourselves happy.”
“Count on it.” Tessa heard the call end and dropped her phone into her lap. Feeling very little, she wondered if her body had taken over and numbed everything. Seemed a reasonable possibility since her world has just crashed around her ears and the life she was hoping to have no longer seemed possible.
Carefully folding a T-shirt, Tessa did her best not to jump when the sound of the garage door opening reverberated throughout the house.
It had been three hours since she’d discovered Seth’s transgression and she was fairly confident that she’d experienced all the emotions available. Including rage, sadness, heartbreak, and disbelief.
Knowing there was only one answer, she quietly continued to pack her suitcase and prayed she could get on the plane before breaking down completely. Heavy footsteps sounded across the wood floors, and she prepared herself as best she could for the storm that was about to erupt.
“Honey, I’m home.”
Firming her shoulders, she resisted the familiar happiness his greeting usually offered. “In here,” she called out.
“What the fuck is going on?” Seth barked as he entered the room.
Turning, she narrowed her eyes and rested her hand on the suitcase that was almost full. “New York City is what’s happening.”
“But…”
She put up her hand and sucked in a breath. “Before you tell any more lies, you should know that I spoke with Daisy today.” Seth’s face fell, and he collapsed on the bed. “Seems you forgot to tell me something.”
“I can explain, honey.”
“Really?” His enormous shoulders fell forward, and she’d never seen defeat so starkly. “Well, please do, because I’d love to hear what rationalization you’ve cooked up in your mind for withholding vital information.”
Seth raised his head and let out a groan. “If you give me a minute, I can get them all organized in my head and give you the first fifty that I came up with.”
Feeling exhausted, she sat down next to him. “How could you?”
“I didn’t want to lose you.”
“And…”
“At the bottom of every excuse I could give you and every argument I mounted as to why not telling you was a good idea, is that. I want you to stay in Vegas with me.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re my fucking heartbeat.”
Crossing her arms over her middle, she shook her head and hoped she could dislodge the veracity of his statement. “Why didn’t you trust me?”
Popping his head up, Seth pushed his mouth together. “Because all you’ve ever expressed an interest in is a fling. I know you’ve got big dreams that can’t be satisfied in Vegas, so why would I think that what we’ve got would be enough to keep you in town?”
“So, you took the decision out of my hands?” she shouted in response.
“I know it was wrong, but…”
“What?”
“I fell in love with you and didn’t know if I would be enough.”
Drop the fucking mic; she was done for. “How could you tell me you love me…like that?”
Taking her hands, he pressed them against his heart. “I had a whole thing planned and it sure as shit wasn’t this.”
“I hate you, Seth.”
“Why are tears slipping down your face then?” He picked her up and placed her in his lap. “For the first time in my life, I was terrified that I didn’t have the answer. How could I ask you to stay and let go of something you’ve been chasing for years? How in the hell could I ever be sure that what we’ve made in the last two months would be enough?”
“A person can never be sure, but you should’ve trusted me.”
“Why?” he growled. “Why the fuck should I believe that you would want me when my own mother didn’t?”
Sucking in a breath that wasn’t there, she lifted her hand and covered her mouth. “Seth…”
“Never mind,” he replied sharply as he almost dumped her off his lap. “I should’ve known.”
She balanced herself on the bed as he all but shoved her away and looked up, knowing he was no different than a wounded animal.
Angry, trapped, and ready to snap.
But she was too. And there didn’t seem to be any place in the room for her hurt feelings and utter devastation. His seemed so much bigger since the betrayal he committed was born of old wounds.
Which ignited the fire of her temper because there wasn’t space for her righteous indignation. The air was filled with Seth’s childhood wounds, and she didn’t have it in her to compete.
So, she did what she had always done and packed away her sadness and disappointment. Leaving it for another time when it was more convenient.
Except it never seemed to be an opportune time to unpack all the shit she had stored away.
Standing, she swallowed every tear that threatened to escape and smoothed out her T-shirt and went back to packing. She felt the wall of Seth’s emotions pushing at her as he stood next to the door and ignored it.
What was there to say?
Nothing she could think of.
“Are you leaving tonight?”
She glanced over her shoulder and told herself not to react to his resigned tone. He didn’t deserve her sympathy; that was for damn sure. If he’d told her the news when he’d found out, they probably could’ve come up with a solution, but now…
Nothing.
He didn’t really seem to want to fight.
“I’m on a flight in the morning.”
Nodding, he stepped back. “When you get settled, let me know where you want me to send your stuff.”
“That’s it?” she asked with her voice cracking.
“Yeah.” Throwing up his hands, he let out a grunt. “Clearly, I don’t have anything that’s going to change your mind.”
The loud roaring in her ears had to be the sound of her heart breaking and every hope she ever harbored falling under the rubble. Because if it wasn’t, then it was a damn shame because it seemed like the appropriate soundtrack to one’s life dream disappearing.
She threw her head back and nodded. “Okay, Seth.”
“I’m going to head out.”
“Of course,” she replied as her anger crawled over her hurt. “I’ll be gone before you know it.”
Lifting her eyes, she saw that every soft part of him had disappeared. The mask had dropped, the drawbridge had been pulled up, and the man she loved was nowhere to be seen.
Giving her a short nod, he pushed away from the door. “Take care, Tessa.”
Before she could respond, he’d turned, and the sound of his retreating footsteps was all she could hear.
When the sound of the garage door opening and then closing faded, she collapsed to her knees and let the tears flow, not knowing if there would ever be an end.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Tessa pulled on a dress and then glanced at the full-length mirror propped in the corner and made a face. “Eating all your feelings isn’t going to make you more appealing to casting agents.” She ran her hand over her waist and then twisted from side to side and vowed that very few carbs would pass her lips for the next month.
The snick of the bathroom door opening had her dropping her hands, and she gave Garrett a confident smile. “Better?”
“Maybe, but I can’t be sure since I might have only gotten half my body washed. That shower is meant for gnomes and not humans.”
“Welcome to the New York City studio.”
“How small is this place anyway?” he asked as he opened his suitcase and pulled out a pair of shorts.
“Four hundred beautiful square feet.”
“Seems smaller.”
Tessa put her hands o
ut and grinned. “The good news is that I can sit on the couch and grab stuff from the fridge without getting up.”
“You could also probably wash your hands in the bathroom sink, too.”
“Possibly.”
Garrett held up two T-shirts and swished them back and forth. “Which one?”
“The lightest one, since we’re in for a beautiful sweltering August day.”
“Are you going to make me go on the subway again or can we be extra and grab cabs, so we’re not a disgusting mess by lunchtime?”
“If you insist, princess.”
Lifting his hand, he flung it out with a snap. “That’s Queen G. to you.”
Tessa let out a little laugh and realized it had been over a month since it had happened last. “Thank you, Garett.”
“For what?”
“Coming for a wellness check.”
“Girl, I had to.” He shoved his feet into his flip-flops and then picked up his phone and wallet. “You’ve been a mess since leaving Vegas, and I couldn’t let you wallow anymore.”
“I’m not wallowing. In fact, I’ve been on a bunch of auditions and even took a couple of voice lessons.”
“I know you’re all busy-bee running around the city trying to make something happen, but underneath all that frantic activity lies a broken heart. And I want to make sure you’re taking care of it.”
“Nothing is going to put it back together, so all I can do is get up every day and put one foot in front of the other.”
“Is Seth still sending you texts every day?”
“Pretty much, along with pictures of my stuff in his house. He told me if I wanted it, then I was going to have to come and get it.”
“That’s diabolical and kind of impressive.”
“I know, and if I wasn’t so angry with him, I’d tell him.”
“Have you booked the workshop he paid for with that famed acting coach?”
“No, and I don’t plan on it.”
“You’re standing strong; color me awe-struck.”
“What choice do I have?”
“Cave in to all his machinations and forgive him for his sin.”
“I can’t.”
“Yet or ever?”
“I’m not sure.”
“That’s a yet if ever I’ve heard one.”
“It so isn’t.”
“You really think you can get over him?”
“Yes, and the raging anger in my stomach is really helping.”
“That’s not a long-term answer, and you know it. All that fury is doing is putting off the inevitable.”
“Well, I’m not letting any of it go yet because that man was almost the love of my life. He’s ruined me for anyone else, and I’m fairly certain that I have a life of spinsterhood ahead of me as well as a lot of weird outfits.”
“Take a breath there, missy. There is no need to pile fashion disasters on top of a broken heart. You can still be fabulous even though you have no hope of ever being happy again.”
She let out a snort. “Way to make me feel better.”
“Sorry, you know I only have so much soft, gooey niceness in me.”
“I know.” She slipped on a pair of ballet flats and gave him a bright smile. “Let’s go eat.”
“All right, but you better order a salad because you’ve gotten a lot rounder in the last month.” He lifted his hand and made a circle motion. “Turn around and let me see how much junk you have in your trunk.”
“No, thanks.” She stuck out her tongue and then picked up her purse. “And I’ll be ordering fries to go with my salad, just to spite you.”
“You being all soft and glowy isn’t going to spite me.” Garrett lifted her chin and moved her face back and forth. “Your skin looks really good. Have you been getting a bunch of facials?”
“No.”
Lifting her ponytail, he pursed his lips. “Your hair seems thicker and a lot shinier.”
“Maybe it’s the NY city water that’s helping.”
He shrugged and then let her hair fall through his fingers. “Doubt it.”
“Come on; I’m starving.” Taking Garrett’s hand, she led him out of her studio and looked forward to spending the day with her best friend.
Tessa stretched out her legs and leaned her head against Garrett’s shoulder. “You don’t mind if I take a little nap, do you?”
“Go ahead since I’m very busy people watching.”
“No place better than Central Park on a warm afternoon to give you plenty of people to look at.”
“Tell me about it,” Garret replied. “Nothing like this exists in LA.”
“How many makeovers have you done in your mind?”
“A dozen. There are so many poor souls who could use my help.”
Feeling a huge yawn coming, Tessa covered her mouth. “I wasn’t kidding about the nap.”
Garrett bent down and peered into her face. “Why are you such a sleepy bunny?”
“Not sure. I’ve been taking regular naps since I got here.”
“Must be all that heartache and stress.”
“Clearly.”
“You haven’t said anything about the auditions you’ve been on. Any callbacks?”
“I got one call back, but that’s been it. According to the people I’ve met with, my looks are not interesting enough.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I wasn’t pretty enough in LA, and apparently, I’m too attractive for the New York theater scene.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Wish I was. My agent told me I should consider auditioning for children’s musicals.”
“Really?”
“Apparently, that could be my sweet spot.”
“And what do you think about that advice?”
“Garrett, I’m not even sure I want to chase this thing anymore.”
“Do you think it’s just a rough patch or something more?”
“I’m not sure, but I think that break I took in Vegas made my momentum disappear. I really enjoyed not auditioning and getting rejected. The sixty days plus of not worrying about whether I had the right looks or the right voice or the right whatever kind of ruined me.”
“Add to that the loving you got, and I can see why.”
“Anyway…that’s where I’m at.”
“How long are you going to give the city before you make a decision?”
“I’ll stay through the fall and then reevaluate.”
“Is the CIA still plan B or have you come up with something that’s more reasonable?”
“Didn’t really enjoy the spook game, so I’ve scratched that off my list. I was actually thinking of going back home.”
Sitting up, Garrett clapped his hands. “You’d really come back to LA?”
“Home means Oregon.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s where I was raised and, after being in the city for a month, I don’t think I’d hate it.”
“You have given this some thought.”
“Turning thirty and having a broken heart kind of makes it impossible not to.”
“I know that whatever you come up with will be brilliant.”
“Thanks, G.”
“Anytime.”
She leaned her head against Garrett’s shoulder and watched the parade of people passing and wondered what Seth was doing in Vegas. Knowing it was foolish, she wiped the thought from her mind and told herself that whatever the next chapter held was going to be amazing.
***
Seth stood in his garage and sucked down a bottle of water, hoping the workout he’d just put himself through would be enough to allow him to sleep. He hadn’t done much of it in the last several weeks and knew that the people around him we’re getting tired of his piss-poor attitude.
Unfortunately, the likelihood of it changing anytime soon was just about impossible since there was only one solution for the thing that ailed him. And since he hadn’t figured out a way to make Tessa t
alk to him, he was stuck. A place he’d never expected to be.
Hearing Cole’s front door open, he looked up and saw Kelly and Cecily walk out. When they waved and headed in his direction, he knew another intervention was coming his way. Which was just a polite term for the two of them haranguing, lecturing, and basically annoying the shit out of him. “Is there any way I can talk the two of you out of whatever it is you’re about to do?”
“No,” Kelly responded as she walked into the garage and handed him a foil-wrapped plate. “I brought you my latest attempt at lemon ricotta bread.”
“Thanks, Kel.”
“You’re welcome; I figure it will go with your steady diet of bourbon and beer.”
“Have you eaten any of the casseroles I put in your fridge?” Cecily asked.
“Every one of them except the macaroni and cheese since it was Tessa’s favorite.”
Cecily patted his arm. “I understand.”
He gave his future sisters-in-law a small nod and then stepped back. “Well, if that’s all.”
“Not so fast there, mister,” Kelly said as she stepped toward the door that led into the house. “We’re here to come up with a plan to win your woman’s heart back once and for all.”
“Didn’t know you dealt in miracles,” Seth responded with a smirk.
“Shows what you know.”
“The sooner we get started, the sooner you’ll be rid of us,” Cecily added as she motioned for the door. “We know you like to fill your evenings with old action movies and staring at pictures of you and Tessa, and we don’t want to keep you from it for too long.”
He looked between the two of them and shook his head. “I’ve got to say, I’m not all that impressed with the compassion you two are displaying.”
“We used it all up in the first two weeks; all we’ve got left is tough love, so suck it up, buttercup, and get ready to deal,” Kelly replied as she opened the door and held it. “I don’t want your sourpuss face filling the pictures of my wedding next month, so boss up and let’s figure out a way to get Tessa to forgive you.”
“You think that’s possible?”
“Anything is possible with enough effort,” Cecily replied. “Both of your brothers screwed up enormously, and they found a way to get forgiven, and you’re no different.”