by Dave Ferraro
She opened the envelope with trembling hands and slowly pulled the letter from it. Unfolding the piece of paper, she looked quickly at the first line, searching for the one word that would change the rest of her life. Nothing else it said even really mattered.
“Congratulations!”
Amber read the word again, allowing it to repeat in her head a few times just to make sure it was true.
“Congratulations.” The excited whisper slipped off her tongue.
She had done it. She had finally found her freedom—a way out. For so many years she had been confined to the inner walls of her family estate, but now she would spread her wings and enter the world of the normal college student. She’d finally be able to breathe, to become her own person. She ran quickly down the stairs toward the kitchen, where she was sure she’d find Guiliana fussing over the icing of freshly baked cupcakes. Their sweet aroma greeted her as she entered the hallway.
“Guiliana! Guiliana!” Her cries of joy brought the round-faced woman through the swinging door, almost crashing into her.
“Amberlyn, what is it?” She looked flustered and her voice showed a trace of panic.
Amber held the letter out to her.
“We did it! I made it in.”
Guiliana slowly read the letter and then stared up at Amber.
“Oh, I’m so excited. This is the best news ever.”
They embraced and danced excitedly in the hallway. For months the two of them had worked on her applications to different colleges and universities around the country. Guiliana had visited the local high school to find out about the application process and she’d even attended an open day which gave students the opportunity to see firsthand what the colleges had to offer. Of course the two of them had to be very hush-hush about everything because if Carmine had found out, he’d have had the housekeeper’s head and would never speak to Amber again. But all their hard work paid off. Now all Amber needed to do was find a way to tell her father; after all, he would be her financier.
“What is the best news?” Carmine’s booming voice echoed behind them and they stopped abruptly.
“Nothing, Mr. Darksky. I’ll go see to finishing dinner.” Guiliana fidgeted nervously with the apron around her waist.
Amber noticed the deep fearful look in her eyes; it was one she’d seen so many times before, but could never quite understand it. The housekeeper disappeared back into the kitchen leaving Amber alone with her father.
“Amberlyn?” He raised his brow and stared down at the girl who looked so much like her mother, the love of his life. He tried to keep his voice stern and in control, but seeing her, looking so young and delicate, just weakened his defenses.
She tried to hide the letter but it was of no use, he had already seen it and was stretching out a hand for it. Amber heaved a heavy sigh and slowly gave the paper to him, all the while knowing what his reaction would be, preparing herself for it. Carmine had never allowed her to venture off the property. Since her mother’s death, he had done everything he possibly could to make her life happy and comfortable, but the one thing she craved was the one thing he’d never consent to. When she’d expressed a great need to go out running and hiking through the woods, he’d had a fully equipped gym installed in one of the upstairs bedrooms. He had even tried to make up for her lack of a social life by bringing her gifts that a teenage girl could only ever dream of. Fendi, D&G and Gianfranco Ferre were just some of the designer labels she was used to receiving after his return from one of his many European business trips; and the items he brought her couldn’t be bought in any store, they were carefully selected, one-of-a-kind pieces. But Amber felt no excitement at receiving such gifts. What was the point of owning a gorgeous pair of Christian Louboutin stilettos if the only place she was going to wear them was between her bedroom and the downstairs parlor?
He’d had the best tutors flown in from around the world to teach her subjects that were reserved for institutes of higher learning just so she wouldn’t have to attend school, and now she was asking to go off to college to a real campus—even though her tutor had covered most of what she would learn there. It was absurd and she knew he wouldn’t approve.
Carmine read the letter and his eyes darkened. A fierce scowl covered his face.
He crumpled the page. “What is the meaning of this?” His voice was deep and steady as he spoke through clenched teeth.
“I…I’ve been meaning to tell you, Daddy, but I just never got a chance.” The words stumbled from her mouth, revealing the lie.
“Have I not given you everything you’ve ever needed?” He was angry now and did not care much for her excuses. “Were the private lessons not good enough for you? Are you that ungrateful?”
Tears sprang up in her eyes and her lip trembled. Amber had never, in all her life, witnessed Carmine’s rage, but she saw it rising in his deep emerald eyes like a sudden thunderstorm ready to strike with its lashes of lightening.
“No, it’s not like that. I appreciate all you’ve ever given me. But I’m eighteen now and I think it’s time for me to go out into the world. I need to meet new people…people my age. I want to feel normal.”
“Normal?” His mouth twisted into a wicked smile. “Amber, you are in no way normal. You have a gift, one that the world will never understand. Do you really want to take that chance?” His tone was mocking and more tears welled in her eyes.
He still saw her as the naïve child who had been forced to ignore her own ideas and thoughts to believe his. Always using the same excuse to keep her trapped, telling her that the world beyond the boundaries of the estate would never accept her. But she wasn’t a little girl anymore, and her mind was bursting with the most imaginative thoughts about what the world was like, and she wanted to see it for herself.
“Yes!” Her screech had Carmine shaking his head.
He stared at her incredulously, trying to figure out what had sparked such defiance in his daughter. She definitely had her mother’s fire and it was pointless to argue any further with her. All he could do was hope she’d realize just how cruel people were to those who were different in any way. Then she’d come running back home.
“Fine, but I will have no part in this.” He strode past her, still clutching her acceptance letter. “I have never felt such disappointment as I have today.” He glowered at her before pushing through the heavy wooden door, slamming it behind him.
Amber looked after him. Her eyes were wide and she wasn’t sure if she should scream or cry, or just run to her room and lock herself in it. She was seething with an anger that was deeply rooted in her soul and every bit of it was directed at her father. But at the same time, her heart was in her throat and she wondered if he would ever forgive her for not telling him about her plans. Maybe it wasn’t fair that after everything he’d done for her, she was so eager to run the other way. Maybe she was being ungrateful—even selfish.
Guiliana walked back into the hallway and put her arms around her young charge who was shaking after the confrontation with her father. She’d been listening through the kitchen door and heard the cruelness as Carmine spoke. Even though she knew the reason Carmine wanted to keep Amber locked away from the world, believing he was protecting her, he had done so in a way that made the girl want to escape the prison of her own home all the more. Amber just wanted what any other young person her age wanted. Why couldn’t he see that? Amber buried her face in Guiliana’s neck and the tears streamed down her cheeks.
“There, there dear. Don’t worry, he’ll come ‘round. No use spilling your tears over his stubbornness.”
“He’s so angry with me, Guili. I just wish he’d understand how it feels to be locked away. What’s the point of having all of this knowledge, knowing how to speak so many different languages and never getting to share it with anyone?”
“Perhaps a steaming cup of tea will make you feel better. You go rest in the parlor and I’ll get it for you.” She patted Amber’s cheek affectionately and rush
ed through the door again.
Amber dried her cheeks. She was relieved to have a friendly woman in her life. Guiliana was the only person who seemed to understand her; she was the only mother figure Amber had ever known. She’d been there from the time Amber had been born and they held a strong bond.
Amber often stopped to think of how things would be if she hadn’t stolen her mother’s life all those years before. Lenora Darksky had been brave and when faced with the decision to end her own life or that of her child, she had chosen to allow the tiny person growing in her belly to have an existence of its own, and for that, Amber would be eternally grateful. She knew that if she were to ever have to make a decision like that, she would echo her mother’s rationalization. How would she be able to happily exist if she’d committed murder in the foulest way?
Amber’s thoughts drifted back to the night she had been born. The sights and smells were strong in her mind. She knew without even seeing her mother that she was beautiful and her silent heartbeat was a soothing melody. Carmine’s heart had also beaten softly until he’d realized her mother was in trouble. The quickening of it scared Amber at the time and she had somehow understood the bad things that were happening. The air had filled with a strong chemical smell, and when her mother had cried in pain for the first time since the birth, an overpowering metallic scent had touched Amber’s nostrils. She’d seen the fear in Carmine’s eyes as he laid her down before rushing to Lenora’s side. There had been so much blood. The bed sheets were soaked and all hope of keeping Lenora alive was lost. The pain in Carmine’s heart was so intense that Amber had felt it as if her own heart were aching.
She’d never understood how as a newborn she’d been able to remember every detail, but it was her gift. She had not seen or even really heard the events of that day, at least not any that she could have remembered. Rather, she had been given the ability to see every happy and joyful or sad and painful memory that had been imprinted in anyone’s mind with just a simple touch.
Carmine had cradled her in his arms for hours after her mother had died, and with just one of his fingers lightly caressing her cheek, she was able to see his memories. She saw nothing of his early life. The only memories he seemed to have were those that involved her mother: from the first time he’d laid eyes on her to the moment they had decided to elope to escape Lenora’s father’s stubborn rage. It was as if he had only started to live when he’d met Lenora. Or maybe his childhood had been so terrible he’d blocked it from his memory.
The night she’d been born stood out the most; it had haunted her dreams for so long. She felt every bit of despair and anguish that her father had felt. Amber became accustomed to the continuous replay of the horror, but would never get used to the pain and fear it caused her to feel.
Her gift was a curse.
Carmine had insisted she keep it their secret, but very soon Amber had confided in Guiliana—the one person she truly trusted. But it was not for this reason alone that she had told Guiliana. She had seen the pain the lovely woman had gone through when her mother had abandoned her. Amber felt a kinship with her; they had both lost their mothers in some way.
Amber entered the parlor and looked over the room she was accustomed to sitting in on a daily basis. The polished mahogany floor stretched to a large Victorian fireplace. Its deep varnish stain was in direct contrast with the cream and white Baroque wallpaper that covered every inch from floor to ceiling. Bright bouquets of fresh flowers filled the bare spaces, all thanks to Guiliana’s love for gardening. She spent hours each morning choosing only the best roses to add splashes of red, pink, and yellow color throughout the space. Their fresh, clean aroma had always made Amber feel more at peace. But the room repulsed her now; she hated being in it. Even the ancient artwork, with its heavy gold framing that filled an entire wall, no longer appealed to her. It was frozen in time and Amber was dying to spruce it up with something more modern, but Carmine was opposed to change, no matter how slight. The only thing in the room that Amber would never stop loving was the large, black grand piano that stood in one corner.
She was at peace when sitting on the small leather stool, running her fingers over the black and white ivories. She’d learned at an early age to appreciate classical music and enjoyed every minute of her lessons. Carmine had given her a beautiful white violin for her fifth birthday and she’d loved it, spending every waking hour practicing until finally she’d perfected the art. The house would fill with a noise that was sweet and soft and tempting, but also very haunting and melancholic, whenever she played.
Guiliana entered the room with a tray of tea and a rainbow of colorfully decorated cupcakes topped with chocolate sprinkles. An hour and almost a dozen cupcakes later, the two still sat on the parlor floor discussing Amber’s hopes of what college life would bring.
She needed to feel normal; for so long she’d felt like a freak. For so many years she had sat at her bedroom window watching the other kids walking home from school. She’d seen and heard their hurtful jibes whenever they passed the house. Even adults walking by would cross the street so that they weren’t too close. It had become a normal thing for children to huddle on the sidewalk across the street from the house at Halloween, each daring the other to ring the doorbell. Of course none were ever brave enough. Rumors had swept through town about Carmine being evil and dabbling in witchcraft. Martha’s hasty retreat years before had started many stories; people had said that Carmine had murdered Martha and buried her somewhere in the woods behind the house. People had also speculated on Lenora’s death and wondered why he kept their child hidden from the outside world. Automatically, Amber had become a monster—an outcast in society. She’d heard Guiliana arguing with Carmine about it one night. “It’s not fair that she be punished for your sins,” Guiliana had yelled at him. Amber just hid her head under the pillow and blocked out the words, not caring about what anything that was said might have meant.
With her growing gift and her strange father, even she had started believing that she was some kind of monster. Why else would Carmine refuse for her to lead a normal life? Perhaps he was ashamed of her, or worse still, maybe he didn’t want the world to acknowledge her existence because he wished she didn’t have one. There were many nights that she cried herself to sleep with these thoughts, but now it was time for change and she’d show the world just how normal she really was. Guiliana even hinted at the chance of a first love and true romance at college, but Amber doubted her chances of that ever happening. She wasn’t sure if she’d allow anyone close enough, let alone give them power over her heart.
Chapter Two: Therian