by J. J. McAvoy
“I’m not a star,” he said and then lifted up his hand and pointed to my left. “I’m that.”
Just as soon as he’d said it the first firework exploded in the air and its gold shimmering lights fell down like…like broken stars.
“I’m a firework. Only here briefly and then I fade. While the stars stay where they are.”
I frown at that, looking to him as he watched the show. “Malachi.”
“What?”
“Look at me.”
And when he did, I did what my grandfather always did to me. I flicked the center of his forehead as hard as I could.
“Ah! What the—?”
“Stop being so negative!”
“I was just—”
“Being negative. Pause for a second and look around.” Rubbing his forehead he looked around. “What do you see?”
“What am I supposed to be seeing?”
Man, he was a pain. “The whole town is here to see the fireworks. Stars are beautiful. Fireworks are breathtaking because they come so instantaneously and then poof. They’re gone but that display lingers in your mind. It eclipses the moon and the stars. But most importantly it brings everyone to a stop. It makes them get together in one place and just stare at the sky.”
I looked back to the sky as four, then five of them exploded.
“Could you imagine this world without Romeo and Juliet, Obinna the Great to Adaeze,
Lancelot and Guinevere, Wei Xiao and Princess Changping, Quasimodo and Esmeralda? It would be…miserable. We wouldn’t dare risk the odds because we didn’t have examples of what that looked like. Your love, your life, has inspired millions—no billions—of people to love foolishly…selfishly…unreasonably, with no regard for anyone or anything else.” I repeated the lines of from the last book, and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes again. “And because of that, when we see fireworks, when we see true love, we must stop what we’re doing and respect it enough to just let it be, to watch it dominate the sky, we stare in awe of fireworks.”
I was so lost in my rant that I didn’t look back at him until I was finished, and when I finally did I found him looking at me. The way he looked at me… the hope, the pride, the kindness…it made my chest hurt because I thought he looked almost supernaturally beautiful. And I didn’t want to think that. Thinking that would make me think…about how much I liked him. About how fun it was to fight with him. And just live here…but that wasn’t my place. I didn’t want to be Li-Mei’s replacement…how could I possibly be?
“I’m tired. I’m going to head back,” I said as I rose from the log and set the cup down. “Thanks for coming with me.”
Wrapping my blanket around me I left him as quickly as I could, which meant that I ended up trying to make it through a maze of people all of whom were just standing still with their phones up in the air to take a picture. The more people I had to get through the more frustrated I became and I didn’t know why. But my head was spinning. I just wanted to run.
Finally, I made it off the beach and into the trail of the woods, just in time to see Murphy try to push away David who was hunched over her with a beer bottle in his hand.
“David, stop.” Murphy didn’t yell but she was trying her best to smack his hands away as he grabbed her jeans.
I grabbed a thick broken branch from the ground and was ready to use it as baseball bat when a large white hand grabbed the top half of the branch and the flash of a camera went off.
“I’m sure this would look bad in any context,” Malachi said still holding on to the branch I’d planned on using.
David backed away from Murphy quickly until he realized it was us.
“You’re starting to get on my fucking nerves!” He hollered as he started to advance towards us but Murphy grabbed his arm.
“Let it go.” She pulled as hard as she could even though she was a whole head and even a bit of his shoulders shorter than he was. “This was all just a misunderstanding. Right, Malachi?”
“Right.” Malachi nodded.
Begrudgingly, and clumsily, she took David, who looked ready to kill him…us, away. Malachi waited until they walked past us and headed back towards the lake before he snatched the branch out of my hand.
“Have you lost your mind?”
“He was about to—”
“This.” He waved the branch in my face before throwing it into the woods. “It doesn’t work. You hit him. He’ll want revenge, most likely by arresting you. And when you explain your side of the story Mindy—”
“Murphy.”
He looked ready to strangle me when I corrected him.
“Mandy, Mindy, Murphy, whatever. She’ll protect him. Not you. You can’t save people like that. They have to find a reason to save themselves. If you want to help take photos or video if you see something. But don’t go digging into lives of other people. You will get yourself hurt! Got it?”
“Okay, sorry! Stop yelling at me. Geez,” I snapped before walking up to the house, however, I only made it a few feet before I stopped and watched as the smallest white flake fell from the sky and danced in the air in front of my face. Reaching out I let it fall right into the palm of my hand and melt. When I looked back up I saw the thick clouds that crawled over the sky. Clouds that hid the stars and brought the snow from the mountains to us. One by one they came down.
“It looks like there’s going to be a storm,” Malachi said softly, reaching out for them as well. “The guest cabin is cold.”
“It hasn’t been too bad.” I held on tighter to the quilt over my shoulders.
“Stay in the guest room instead.” That was all he said as he turned and walked in front of me.
“You could say please.”
“Or you’re free to freeze if you’d like!” He called out and I couldn’t help but grin. He just had to throw in a little salt with his kindness.
MALACHI
“Malachi!”
What have I done? I thought as she ripped the curtains open and sent all the light in the universe into the room.
“Malachi, get up. Look.”
“I’m sure the snow will still be there when it’s not…” I lifted my phone and looked at the time. “FIVE O’ CLOCK!” I’d gone to bed four hours ago! She was insane!
“In a few hours people are going to start walking about and shoveling it and it’s not going to look like it looks now.” She turned back to me. Her curly hair was pulled up and tied around her hairline with a scarf she’d fashioned into a bow.
Grabbing the pillow off my bed I put it over my face. But why should I suffer alone? Sitting up I grabbed another one and threw it at the back of her head.
“Oh you’re going to regret that,” she said as she bent down and picked up the pillow from the ground.
“Don’t,” I warned her.
She ran towards me like a madwoman and I got up quickly grabbing the other pillow to block hers. She didn’t let up and so I smacked her side with it. And she stood there shocked like she wasn’t expecting me to hit her back.
“How’s that regret thing going?”
“I’m making progress,” she replied right before the pillow hit me square across my cheek…and a flash of déjà vu came to mind.
This was the second time she’d hit me across the face with a pillow. This time it was war. Around my room we fought smacking each other as hard as we could until our pillows gave out and sent all their feathers into the air, onto the ground, and all over my room, covering the place in white, almost matching the sight outside the window.
“There are so many things I want to ask right now.”
We both froze at that voice. That God-like voice. I looked over her shoulder at him. He stood dressed in his signature suit and colored ascot, today’s choice a deep purple. He looked completely fine…with the exception of the cane he was holding on to. It was like he’d been living here this whole time...Had he come here because it worked? Had the treatment worked? I glanced down at Esther, expecting her to tur
n back to him, but instead she was actually frozen. Not just her, but everything was. The snow falling outside, the feathers falling inside, it was all suspended in time.
He looked at her for a long time then snickered and I saw it…the look in his eyes. He hadn’t just shown up. He was here…to say goodbye.
“Alfred?”
“Don’t tell her until after today. I can’t die on her birthday,” he said to me.
“Alfred…no.” I shook my head. He couldn’t die at all.
“Do me one last favor?” he asked.
I couldn’t speak. My throat burned and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. I was frozen, just like Esther.
“Today is going to be her last good day for a while…make it count for her, okay? I made a video for her, so she won’t know until later.”
“Alfred…don’t please…PLEASE!” The tears burned as they came down my face.
“I’ll miss you too. This is a good dream.” He nodded looking around. “Have more of these types of dreams. Better yet, try to live more like this too okay? Know that I love you and I’m proud of you both.”
***
“Malachi?”
When my eyes snapped open she was kneeling in front of me. I stared into her brown eyes for a long time before I wiped my eyes. Rising from the bed I walked to my window and looked outside. All of Lieber Falls was covered in a thick layer of snow which seemed to glisten as the sunlight touched it.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Esther looked out, her face almost pressed against the glass. “Ha! My roses.”
I saw them, covered in snow, but the brightness of the red stood out in the whiteness.
“Why plant them?” I asked trying to regain my voice.
“Because I’m waiting for the real ones.” She smiled. “I planted rose seeds but they won’t bloom for a while. So I put the silk ones out until then. I love roses but they’re never in season during my birthday so I planted my own.”
“Today is your birthday?” I was hoping it was a lie. That it had only been a dream. That I could pretend I didn’t know what I knew.
She looked up to me as she grinned and outstretched her hands. “I’m officially twenty-three as of four a.m. this morning. What did you get me?” I looked at her hand and she laughed. “I’m just kidding—”
“Twenty-three wishes.”
“What?”
I turned to her. “You get twenty-three wishes. Anything you want. Just make a wish.”
“You’re serious?” She crossed her arms and eyed me carefully.
I nodded.
“You’re entering dangerous waters. I’m a big wisher.”
“Then start wishing.” For Alfred’s sake, my sake, her sake, I hoped she wished for the moon and more before the world tried to crush her heart.
13. GONE
MALACHI
A big wisher was an understatement.
First—See the Seven Wonders of the World.
Second—Take a hot air balloon ride with a beautiful view.
“A little vain aren’t you?” I asked as I dried my hair and read the third one over her shoulder as she sat on the couch.
Upon hearing me she hugged the book to her chest and looked at me wide-eyed. “When did you come down?”
“A custom-made gown?” I repeated her third wish and she stood up. She’d changed into a dark green knitted sweater, one of many she’d gotten from Joanna in town, that stopped right around her hips. Under it she wore thick black leggings and a pair of furry rainbow socks over that. Hiding the book she’d been writing in behind her back, she smiled as she mocked me.
“Is it too much for the great Malachi Lord? I tried to warn you.”
She knew it was a bit much, but I’d wanted her to ask for it all. “No. Go on. But please try adding something that can be accomplished on the day of your actual birthday.”
“Wish four,” she read aloud as she laid back down on the couch and I moved around to sit beside her. “Malachi Lord shall bake Esther Noëlle a vanilla birthday cake with chocolate icing.”
“Fine. Do you want twenty-three candles too?” I asked, sitting where her feet were. She wiggled her toes in her rainbow colored socks as she looked up at me and stared for so long I began to feel uncomfortable under her gaze. “What?”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“It’s your birthday. Would you like me to not be nice?”
She didn’t look convince but continued writing while looking up at me every so often. “Wish five, Malachi Lord will wish me a happy birthday and thank all the people who wished him a happy birthday on his fan group.”
She had to push it. She was testing me…and this wasn’t something I could fail. So I took out my phone and turned the screen to face me. Sitting upright I hit record. “Hello… Lord Nation,” I snickered at that. “I am, as you may or may not know, Malachi Lord, and today is Esther Noëlle’s birthday. Esther…is…if you knew her personally you’d know that there is not one word that could quantify who she is. And while she drives me up the wall sometimes, I’m not ignorant to the fact that she has put in so much to this site simply because she loves my work. So today on her twenty-third, I would like to say thank you and happy birthday, Esther. And also I would like to thank all of you who wished me a happy birthday as well. I’m honored.”
Ending the video, I looked up at her and she frowned at me.
“What? It’s not grand enough?” I asked as I sent her the video.
“No. I just don’t know what to say when you’re being so nice.”
Rolling my eyes, I reached for her list but she pulled it away. “I haven’t finished!”
“Then finish!”
“Excuse me if I don’t want to rush a once in a lifetime chance to have anything I want. It’s a lot of pressure trying to think of stuff.”
She wasn't serious. “Fine, take your time, put down roots if you want to. I’ll go work on your cake.”
“You’re seriously going to make me one? Can you even bake?”
“Why make wishes if you don’t think they are possible? Do we have flour?”
She stared at me amazed.
“Alright. I’ll just check for myself then,” I muttered as I got up from the couch.
“Wish six: Malachi Lord makes a full course birthday dinner for me.” She tapped her chin with the blue pen in her hands. “Wish seven, we go ice skating on the pond…that way we can pick up things for the cake and dinner. Teddy’s make these cool skates. I really want one. Ohhh wish eight: you’re going to tell me more about your past lives…or maybe you don’t mind painting me? I mean honestly the world deserves to see your art, it’s so beautiful. Actually both. I’ll make that my ninth wish since you’re being so generous.”
I really hadn’t thought this through. I walked away from her but when I looked back, her head swayed back and forth and she grinned to herself…I wanted to smile. She wasn’t in pain…but I knew I was only delaying it.
I didn’t know the mysteries of the universe. I don’t know why I died and woke up as a new person with my former memories intact. I didn’t have visions, nor could I predict the future, and magic to me was another name for coincidence. I’d never seen anyone in my dreams. I never really dreamed per say. I remembered but I didn’t dream…until last night when I saw him. And just like when I’d woken up with all the memories of my past life I just knew. I trusted the feelings I felt and knew they were real.
Alfred was gone and that hurt. It burned worse than I’d ever thought it would but I couldn’t mourn him now. I couldn't show that pain because he and I both wanted her to have one day. One more day where she believed the sun was still shining even when it was pouring outside.
“Malachi?”
I blinked and refocused on her as she turned back towards me and rested her arms on the top of the couch.
“Have you been able to contact Grandpa? His phone keeps going to voicemail.”
Lie. Or say nothing which was still a lie.
> Those were my choices.
“No.” It was the best I could do.
“Weird,” she muttered to herself. “This project he’s working on…no, but even then he’d still call no matter what. Hopefully he’ll make it back in time to have Thanksgiving with us.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat I replied, “Us? Thanksgiving? No thank you. I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon enough.”
“Apparently the Grinch woke up early, this year!” she muttered rolling her eyes. “I’ll be adding Thanksgiving dinner for the three of us to my list.”
“Come on,” I said hoping to distract her. “We need to go grocery shopping and then we can go skating.”
“But my list—”
“Keep working on it. You’ll have time to think in the car,” I said as I walked to where our boots and jackets were hanging from yesterday.
“Car? When did you get a car?”
“I always had a car. It was taken in for repairs after my accident,” I said as I reached for her knitted scarf and placed it around her neck before I shrugged into my jacket and stepped into my boots.
She read over her list with a serious expression while she waited for me. “Maybe I should ask for a car?”
“What happened to that special power where a yellow car just appears in front of you if you wave your hand in the street?” I mocked and she made a face at me.
Patting my pockets, I glanced upstairs. “I forgot my wallet I’ll be right back.”
“Oh! Can you get my phone? I plugged it in by my bedside table. Thanks!” she said.
“No cars,” I told her as I rushed up the stairs.
“Your motorcycle then?” she asked and I nearly stumbled which caused her to laugh. “You said anything, right?”