“We’re going on your bike?”
Jesus, I wanted to kiss her.
“Yeah.”
She did a dorky kind of bouncy dance and clapped her hands. It took all my effort not to reach down and adjust my dick.
“Can we go fast?”
Fucking hell. “You like going fast?”
She touched my bike seat almost lovingly. “Yeah, of course. My aunt had a dirt bike, remember? It used to be my uncle’s. I rode it all the time, and when Aiko flies across a field with me on her back, there’s nothing better.”
I handed her a helmet while swallowing, trying to get moisture back in my mouth. Excited Everly was a sight to see, always had been. But now I was looking at her in a way that wasn’t just friendly, and it did things to me.
Seriously hard, painful things.
Seeing her like this made my heart beat faster and my palms itch to pull her against me and let her feel how she affected me. “We better get going, then.”
She took the helmet from me and put it on, doing it up like a pro. Yes, I’d known about the dirt bike, but she hadn’t told me how much she loved it or that she rode it all the time.
Because you were a controlling asshat and told her you didn’t want her riding it, afraid Everly would kill herself.
She’d been my lifeline back then, and I’d been so afraid of losing her I’d clung so tight I’d suffocated her. I needed to remember that. I couldn’t make the same mistakes with her again. Not if I wanted forever with this girl.
She was done with that shit, with my shit. And if I let that fear creep back in, if I let it rule my actions, if I hung on too damn tight again, I’d lose her.
Forever this time.
I climbed on the bike and Everly climbed up behind me. Her arms came around me without hesitation, like I knew they would. Touch between us had never been something awkward. She’d slept in my bed for the three years we were together. I was used to her pressed against me.
But there was nothing similar between then and now. Not one damn thing. All I’d felt back then was fear, the drive to protect her, shield her. She’d been my best friend, my whole world.
Right now, what I felt was so different, so very different. Her soft round tits were pressed against my back, her smaller hands hot against my abs, her thighs bracketing mine.
She felt amazing. She felt perfect.
She felt like mine.
I wanted to pull her off the bike, take her back to her room, and kiss her until she begged me for more. I wanted to show her what I could be to her now.
What we could be to each other.
How good it could be.
I had to wait, though, take things slow.
Tonight was a step in the right direction, but only a step.
I gave one of her hands a squeeze. “Hold on tight.”
Then I started my bike, revving it, and grinned when she laughed in delight and hung on tight as I tore down the driveway and out onto the road.
Chapter Nine
Everly
Being on the back of Dane’s bike was exhilarating.
I clung to him, leaning into the corners like he did, watching fields and trees and ranch houses fly by us. Dane went faster, and I threw my head back and laughed. The wind snatched his away, but I felt it move through him.
I loved going fast. I always had. On a horse or a bike, it didn’t matter.
But I loved it even more with Dane.
He turned another corner and his abs tightened again. His thighs, too. I could feel them against the inside of mine pressed this close. I could feel the heat of his body through his leather jacket. And with every one of those turns, I rubbed up against him.
Between that and the exhilaration of the ride, I was starting to feel a little breathless. It didn’t help that our kiss kept replaying over and over in my head.
Would he kiss me again? He said we should practice more. Is that what I wanted?
I squeezed my eyes closed and bit my lips when we rounded another corner and I was forced to squeeze my thighs against his to hold on tighter.
Yes, of course I did. Who the heck was I kidding?
Dane had kissed me. And I’d wanted to kiss him back. I wasn’t sure this had anything to do with practice dates. And honestly, I felt confused.
I was afraid what might happen if we kissed again. What if it ruined what we already had, what we were trying to get back?
The biggest problem was I wasn’t sure what we had right then. Eighteen months apart was a long time without any contact at all. I thought we were trying to find our way back to the way we used to be, but now I wasn’t so sure what we were doing.
See? Totally confused.
Dane turned off onto a gravel road and we weaved our way along it, heading toward the lake. A small cabin came into view a short time later.
We stopped out front and Dane turned off the bike. I slid from behind him and took off my helmet, shaking out my hair, and waited while he did the same.
He turned to me, a small smile on his lips, one that was almost unsure.
“Bull’s hunting cabin,” he said. “I wanted to show you it. I’ve always loved it out here. I thought we could have dinner by the lake.”
There was a rustic-looking table and chairs on the small porch at the front of the cabin. No doubt made by Bull. I smiled back, because Dane was looking even more unsure than before, which wasn’t like him at all.
“It’s beautiful.”
He nodded and took my helmet from me, putting it with his on the bike seat, then took a pack from the back and held it up. “Dinner.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Did you make that yourself?”
He chuckled. “I mean, Quinn told me what to put in the bag, but I did the rest.”
I laughed. “So we’re not having bologna sandwiches and Cheez-Its?”
He put the bag down on the table. “I’m wounded. I’d never give you bologna and Cheez-Its. Ham sandwiches and Cheetos though, I was considering. Only the best for you.”
“Oh my God, you were totally going to feed me Cheetos, weren’t you?” I was grinning like crazy now.
“Maybe.”
“I thought you were supposed to be some kind of dating ninja? Is that what you feed all the women you bring out here?” I wasn’t sure why I’d asked that. I also wasn’t sure I wanted the answer.
“I’ve never brought anyone out here, Eves,” he said, golden-brown eyes on mine before he started unpacking the food he’d brought along with a couple of beers.
There was lasagna and salad in containers and a slice of cheesecake each. “You did not make this,” I said, stomach starting to rumble.
“Well, no. I wanted you to actually enjoy it. We have Addie from Lake’s End to thank for our meal tonight.”
The Rocktown café had exquisite food. I always stopped in for a slice of pie when I could. “Okay, I’ll let you off since Addie is an angel in the kitchen.”
He motioned to one of the chairs and I sat down. Dane did the same across from me. Which meant there was no escaping his steady gaze as I opened containers and dished us up some food.
I didn’t get nervous around Dane. The only time I’d ever felt nervous was when I first met him. He’d been standing in the kitchen of our foster home, head dipped, shaggy hair almost covering his eyes, and he’d silently taken me in.
I’d smiled, desperate to make a connection, so alone and sad and scared—and he’d smiled back.
“Hey, kid,” he’d said and offered me a chip from his bag.
The nerves I felt now, though, were nothing like that. They were something else completely, and they only got worse when I started eating and that steady gaze got more intense and kept dropping to my lips.
“So what’s Riff up to tonight?” I said, trying to make small talk.
“He’s back in Black Stone, but he’s coming back in a couple days.”
“Oh?”
“His birthday,” Dane said. “Bonfire, drinks down by the lake.
”
I sat straighter. “Like a party?”
He took a sip of his beer. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I think I have one of those on my list,” I said, grinning, sounding far too eager but not caring, and trying to draw Dane out of his contemplative mood.
His lips curled up. “I’m aware.” That gaze dropped back to my mouth, and I licked my lips nervously.
We ate in silence for several more minutes.
“Do I have food on my face?” I said when it got too much for me. My skin was kind of tingly, and the ache between my thighs from the bike ride was getting progressively worse the longer he watched me.
“No,” he said and ate another mouthful of lasagna.
Okay.
I reached for a beer. No, I wasn’t much of a drinker, but I needed something to help steady these ridiculous nerves.
Dane grabbed it before I could, opened it, and set it in front of me.
“So do you come out here much?” I asked, because the tension was starting to get unbearable. If someone sneezed, I’d jump out of my skin.
He lifted his bottle to his lips, and my gaze dropped to his strong tattooed throat, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he took several long pulls of his beer.
I licked my lips again, and Dane’s nostrils flared.
He put the bottle down on the table. “Not for a while. We used to, before I went to Black Stone. Cal, Bull, and me. We’d hunt, fish, hang out.” His elbows were on the table, hands out in front of him. His fingers curled tight, then released. “I came here on my own a bit after that, though.”
“After you moved away?”
His gaze was on my mouth again, then lifted to mine. “Mainly after Cal told me you moved into the ranch.”
I stilled. “He told you? You knew I was there?”
He dipped his head. “Cal thought I should know. Cassy didn’t even know he told me. Still doesn’t.”
I’d asked Cassy not to tell Dane when I first moved to Rocktown. “And you came here?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“If you think staying away from you all this time was easy, you’re so wrong, Eves. Every day I mentally fought the urge to call you, to come see you, and sometimes I lost that battle. When that happened, I came here, because I knew I was close to you.” He swallowed thickly. “And sometimes I’d make it all the way to the ranch, sit on my bike or in my truck at the end of the driveway, sometimes all night…”
“Why didn’t you come in? Why didn’t you come and see me?” I whispered, knowing what he was telling me was the truth because that’s exactly the kind of thing Dane would do. We’d meant everything to each other, and he’d been in pain, like me. Deep down I’d known it. I just tried not to think about it, wouldn’t let myself believe he could be hurting like I was because it was him who’d left me.
“I knew if I saw you once, just one glimpse, I’d stay.” His gaze dropped to his fingers and back to mine. “I wouldn’t be able to leave again.”
“And you thought you’d hurt me, that I was better off without you.”
“You know I did,” he said, voice raspy.
“And now?” I said, my own voice not much better.
“I can’t fight it anymore, Everly. I don’t want to.”
I started to tremble slightly, heart beating harder, faster. “Fight what?”
“What I want. What we were always meant to be to each other.” That steady gaze held me prisoner, going so deep I could barely breathe.
“And what’s that? What do you want?”
“Everything,” he said simply.
“That’s why you kissed me?” I whispered.
“I kissed you because I’ve wanted to kiss you for so fucking long, Eves, that I couldn’t wait another moment.”
I folded my arms, hugging myself. “So you…you want to have a…a relationship with me? You want me to be…what?”
“Mine. I want you to be mine, Everly.”
I stood. I wasn’t sure why I was freaking out so much. I’d seen this coming, hadn’t I? I wasn’t naive. I’d known as soon as we’d kissed that everything was about to change.
“I hadn’t planned to spring this on you now. I’d wanted us to spend some more time together, let you see I wasn’t the same loose cannon, the powder keg ready to blow, but here, now, it felt right.” He stood as well. “And we don’t keep shit from each other. We never have. Not starting now.”
He moved around the table and slid his hands around my waist. I stared up at him, still trembling, still close to freaking out.
“What is it?” His gaze searched mine.
“I’m scared,” I said, giving him the truth.
He tucked my hair behind my ear. “What are you scared of?”
“Losing you again,” I said, because being anything but honest would have been a mistake, and he was right. We didn’t keep things from each other. “If we try this and it doesn’t work out, if we’re not good together that way, we could lose everything. We could lose this…I could lose my best friend again.”
He pulled me in close, tucking me under his chin. “You’ll never lose me, Eves, never again. No matter what happens in the future, you’ll never lose me.”
“And if it doesn’t work out?”
“It will,” he said, sounding so sure.
“But if it doesn’t?” I persisted.
He was quiet for several beats. “I can’t give you that answer, because it’s not something I can imagine. Ever since I met you, I always knew you’d be in my life. Back then I didn’t know I’d eventually want this, but it feels right, so fucking right, baby, and I know you feel it, too.”
I did. Of course I did. But I also remembered how it felt to lose him, to have the most important person in my life cut me off like I didn’t exist to him anymore. I knew why he did it. I knew it came from a place of love and fear. That he thought it was the right thing for me. But it had torn me apart. I didn’t think he knew just how much losing him had wrecked me.
He’d become my family after my parents died. He was everything to me. My aunt had tried but she’d always stayed distant. She’d taken me out of duty, not love.
Then I’d lost Dane.
And I felt like my soul had been torn from me. I’d felt anchorless.
Alone.
“Do you want me?” he asked, so deep and husky I shivered.
“Dane…”
“Did you like it when I kissed you? Did you feel like your skin was on fire, like you couldn’t get close enough, like you thought you might die if you didn’t get more of me? Because that’s how I felt, Eves,” he said and leaned back, looking down at me. “Tell me you felt it, too.”
“Yes,” I choked out, because again I couldn’t lie, couldn’t keep this from him. Despite everything, I didn’t want to. “Yes, I felt it.”
Chapter Ten
Dane
Everly stared up at me, lips trembling.
My gut was in knots as I searched her gaze, not sure if she was happy about wanting me or not.
I hadn’t meant to tell her how I felt, not yet, but when the words surfaced, I couldn’t stop them from coming out of my mouth. We’d already lost so much time together. I didn’t want to play games or pretend I wasn’t feeling what I was. I just wanted her.
And despite just telling me that she wanted me, too, there was no missing the fear, the deep fucking awful fear in those beautiful eyes.
I’d caused that when I went away, and the only way to convince her to trust me, to know in her heart that I wouldn’t do that to her again, was time…was to show her.
“You’re afraid,” I said, because again I wasn’t playing games with this, with her, and the only way to make this work was to talk shit through.
“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “I’m terrified.”
“You gonna take a chance on us anyway, baby?” I said, my heart in my throat, my own fear damn near choking me, fear that she wouldn’t give us this.
She bli
nked and a tear streaked down her cheek, her body trembling harder under my hands. “I want to…”
“But?” I forced out.
She shook her head, beautiful, wild hair moving in the fading sunlight. “There’s no but. I’m just afraid, and I guess a little part of me is sad.”
“Sad? Christ, why, Eves?”
“What we were, what we used to be to one another, is gone,” she whispered.
Fuck, she killed me. “It’s not gone, baby, it’s just evolved. What we have coming, it’s gonna be so much better, I promise you that.”
“But if we do this and it doesn’t work out, we can’t ever go back. And if we don’t take this step forward, now knowing how we both feel, nothing will ever be the same.”
“Is that what you wish? That we could stay the same, the way we used to be?” If she said yes, my heart was going to fucking shatter at her feet. Yeah, I’d take anything she gave me—only part of Everly was better than losing her completely—but being her best friend wasn’t enough anymore and it never would be again.
She tilted her head back more so her stunning brown eyes clashed with mine. “No, because if I don’t do this, if I don’t give this a try, us a try, I’ll wonder if I made a mistake, letting fear stop me, for the rest of my life.”
“So we’re doing this?” My fingers flexed against her waist.
“Yes, we’re doing this.” She smiled.
My knees went fucking weak. “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” Because I fucking had to.
That small smile curling her gorgeous lips got wider. “Okay.”
I slid my hand up her delicate spine into her warm, thick hair and dipped my head, breathing her in before finally taking her luscious mouth in a kiss that could have stopped my heart if it hadn’t already been banging so damn hard in my chest.
Every part of me lit the fuck up from just that touching of mouths.
I curled my arm around her waist, pulling her in closer, needing to feel every inch of her body pressed against mine. Gently, I sucked on her lower lip, soft and cool. She opened for me, hot and sweet, a drugging contrast, making me groan low.
Meant For You: Rocktown Ink, Book 3 Page 10