by Jax Hart
I liked my name.
It suits me. I’m definitely not a southern belle looking to cash-in on my looks as a ticket to a house and a Range Rover Sport. Something which makes me standout at our small satellite campus filled with all the Real Housewife wannabees. I was born and raised in Jersey. We only drove south when Mom decided a southern gent would be her next mark on the path to finding Mr. Right, instead of a trail of Mr. Right nows. We landed in Nashville for a while but ended up in North Carolina after she met her new hubby in an online chatroom.
Mom has more in common with Sierra and Kendall than me. They are more intent on finding a man then finding themselves. Wade and I used to make fun of women like them. I thought Wade shared my disdain of them too. What did he do? He fell for one. Because although Wade has a real passion for the ocean, he’s backed by old family money. Wade Harrington V comes with more than just a desire to save the planet. He comes with the generational wealth to do it. I never wanted him for any of that. I simply wanted him for his easy grin, laid back attitude and great cuddles. He was the best at spooning.
Sighing, I pushed back all the memories of my ex. He wasn’t good or charming after all. Maybe just maybe, Wade had more of the rich boy in him than I thought. Maybe he really was a cheating bastard just like I had suspected but never wanted to face.
Stuffing my hands back into the deep pockets of my puffer coat, I turned making my way back to the house filled with too much fa-la-la. At least Gran’s there.
“You were gone a while.” She smiled from her wing chair in front of the burning logs.
“I had a lot on my mind.” I crossed the floor to warm my hands by the fire. “Where is everyone?”
“They left. I told them I burned the turkey.” I walked over to the oven turning on the oven light. Inside sat the turkey. Golden, crisp, and brown. “I had enough of them. I was getting a headache. They went to Derek’s club for a late brunch. Don’t let Kendall get to you. She’s fake as that ring she’s flashing. It isn’t real. It’s a knock-off. Cubic Zirconia if you ask me, but she’s too stupid to realize. I’ve had enough of them all fawning over it. I want to hear about you.”
I eyed the wet bar by the tree. “Care to split a bottle of Cabernet?”
She grinned. “I might look old, but I feel so young.”
“And thank God for that. Wade dumped me.”
She lifted her brows. “Figured as much.”
“For a fake blonde who wears 4-inch heels and 2-inch skirts to class.”
“Not surprised.”
“Anyway, I feel so lost. I had my future mapped out and poof.” I snapped my fingers.
“So? Stop making maps.”
I sighed, handing her a glass. “How did you get to be so smart?”
“By living. Chart a new course, Ryan. One with just you on it. Maybe you’ll be surprised by who else shows up on the same one.”
“I’m not looking for another boyfriend. I’m not a coward but facing him and her back on campus will be brutal. She’s going to put the fact that she’s on his arm in my face.”
“I always thought you could do better than that satellite campus anyway. Wade’s a loser.”
I shrugged. “He partied a little too much his senior year of high school. He had an early acceptance into Ole’ Miss but messed up by taking it for granted. He blew off his classes. When Ole’ Miss saw his senior year grades they withdrew his acceptance and he ended up at Brexton.”
“Ah, the big fish was swimming in the small pond.”
“I guess.”
“You weren’t meant for a small pond, my dear. You are destined for greater things.”
“I’m working on it. Wade and I were supposed to apply for the coveted research program affiliated with Duke. They only consider upperclassman in Nags Head. I was hoping to get in for next year.”
Gran set down her glass of wine. “Go. Apply over break. Why wait? Transfer now. Even if you don’t get in, you’ll be by the water where other research programs are. Apply to Duke. Today. Maybe something will open up for the spring semester.”
“That’s a month away?”
“So? Ryan, you have to go for it. With everything in life. Don’t wait for chances to come to you. Make your own.”
She was right. She always was. “What about finances? I can’t afford Duke. Not even the satellite campus that’s why I applied to Brexton. The only way for me to get into Duke is through the research program.”
She nodded to the tree. “You haven’t opened your present yet. The one from me.”
My eyes moved to the tree where an envelope with my name on it sat on a branch. “Gran?” I gently plucked it from the prickly pine needled branches. Inside was a personal note in her crisp script with a check for ten thousand dollars.
“It’s not much. I found some money stuffed into an old shoe box in the basement after I sold the house. Your grandfather had squirreled it away without a word to me.”
“No, Gran. I can’t…”
She waved me off. “What am I going to do with it? Go on a singles cruise? I want you to use it well. To get to the place you always should have been. Your mother won’t ask her new husband for college money and your father is useless. Pops would want you to have it.”
I stared at the check. This might be enough to pay for housing and food for almost a year if I found a place with other roommates. I could live on peanut butter and jelly. My classes well, student loans and scholarships might do the trick.
“Oh... there’s one more gift.” She moved from her seat to give me the last unopened gift from under the tree. My head was still spinning from her check when I opened a box with a sailor’s cap that read “Captain.” On a necklace was a small silver key. A picture of my grandfather’s Mako fishing boat was tucked underneath. They had both moved to the Outer Banks from Jersey when Pops retired. It’s a shame he didn’t get to enjoy as many years as he deserved doing nothing but fishing.
“GRAN?!” Tears threatened at what this could mean.
“He’d turn over in his grave if I just sold it. I kept it garaged. I had a nice young man restore it and put a new engine on. The Mako and a new life is yours, Ryan. Go chase after it! I’m moving to Durham. Found a nice fifty-five plus condo community. I’ll miss the shore but it’s too much for me now.”
I gently fingered the key to his beloved boat, put the cap on my head, and launched myself at her. “Best Christmas ever! It’s just too much!”
“Well, it’s time for me to let go. He’s been gone five years.”
“I’ll cherish his boat.”
“I know you will.”
“I can’t believe you did all this for me.”
“There’s nothing I cherish more than you, Ryan. Remember that. You have nothing ahead of you except open waters. Make a big wave.”
“Okay!” I laugh. “Enough already with the symbolic phrases. I get what you’re saying.”
“Good. Let’s finish our wine and watch Lifetime Christmas movies.”
“There’s nothing I’d rather do and no one else I’d rather spend Christmas night with.” And that was the truth. Forget Wade and his average bedroom moves. Truthfully, he snuggled better than he put them on me anyway. A decent pillow and a B.O.B. might be an upgrade. Next year will be my year. I just know it. No more rich, good looking jerks on my horizon. Thanks to Gran, I have all I’ll ever need—family and hope.
Four
“Look at them. It’s so obvious she daggered you.” Ignoring Kendra’s comment, I murmured something incoherent while continuing to pick at my salad. A hundred pairs of eyes were on me as Wade strolled to the hot buffet line with his new girl. I yawned, pretending to be bored. Everyone said college would be different from high school. Well, it wasn’t when you went to a small satellite campus. Everyone knows everyone’s business.
Disgusted with how juvenile this whole scene was I picked up my tray. “I need to finish my essay. It’s due by the end of the week. See you all later.” I found my puffer coat
and hat by the door, hastily putting them on. The early February air was chilly but nothing like the winters in Jersey.
“Look at her. She can’t handle seeing the two of them, so she runs.” My face heated as I overheard comments. I’d been holding my head so high the center of my back between my shoulder blades ached. Gran was right. I am above this. Better than this. College shouldn’t be a repeat of high school. It’s not my problem if the people here want to stay stuck. During times like this I missed my best friend Kell something fierce. She was a junior when I was a freshman. She took me under her wing when I tried out for the volleyball team in a last-ditch effort to make friends because unless you were either rich or Greek, you were a persona non grata here. I was a decent player in high school and made the small team. Kell is a teacher in Charlotte now dating some banker. Speaking of Kells I reached for my phone. She was Face Timing.
“Kells? Thank God. I need to get out of here. The drama is just too much.”
“Did you finish your application for the research program?”
“Not yet. I just need to finish the essay.”
“Drop everything and do it. Get out of Brexton. Not just because of Wade but because you never should have been there.”
“I wouldn’t have met you…”
“True. Listen, I have some news… I-I’m engaged.”
“What?! No. No way! I haven’t even met him.”
“I know it’s fast,” her voice lowered to a whisper. “I-I am kind of pregnant.”
“Um Kells. There is no kind of. You are or you aren’t.”
“It was a total accident. I swear. I’d never trap Evan. I love him and it’s still new.”
“I’ll say.”
“I need a maid of honor. We want to tie the knot this summer.”
“You know I’ll do anything for you.”
“That’s what I want to hear. Because Ryan, I want a bachelorette party. If I can’t drink, I want everyone else to get their freak on. I know you don’t party but girl, party for me. Lord knows you need to after how Wade did you dirty. Nothing crazy just a few close friends for a quick getaway.”
I bit my lip. I’m not great at this sort of thing and I definitely don’t have the money to do much. Since Kell was my rock, I couldn’t let her down. “Text me the list of what dates work and who you want there.”
“Only a handful of my closest friends. I’ll ask Hannah to help you out if you need it.”
I swallowed hard. I hated Hannah. She was Kell’s friend from high school and saw my friendship with Kell as a threat. “No problem.”
“Love ya’ Ryan.”
“Love ya’ too, Kells. Congratulations on the baby and the man.”
“Thanks. I really am happy. So is he.”
“He better be or I’ll seriously kick his ass.”
We ended the call and I took a deep breath. The new year seemed to roll in with a tide of change for everyone. “Hey Ryan, tough break about Wade.” The girl’s eyes were full of fake sympathy. I didn’t even know her. Not really. Ugh. Small college campuses sucked.
I left campus on foot for the one coffee shop within walking distance. I just needed air. Needed to breathe and get off the campus where everyone seems to know my business. I found a table in the back and got busy opening my Mac Book. Two hours later, my finger hovered over the send button. It was all there. My hopes and dreams waiting for their chance. I pressed send. There it was done.
My stomach grumbled. It was almost four and I had barely eaten lunch. As I gathered up my things the door to the café opened. A couple laughed as the guy waltzed his girl inside. Their backs were to me. Their soft little love laughs made customers grin. Snow clung to the sleeves of their coats and hats. The girl giggled as she reached up, taking the beanie off the guy’s head. I gasped. It was them. The new “it” couple. When Wade and I were together we never achieved that status. He never wore a beanie. Then again, I never dressed like a raging slut in the dead of winter. She had boots with thigh high tights on. He unzipped her coat, letting the three inches of bare thigh peek out. “Cold here?” He murmured against her lips as he puts his palms on her bare skin. She yelped, “Wade! Your hands are freezing!”
He never touched me like that. But then again, I’d never let him stroke the inside of my bare thigh in public. Snorting, I ignored the pain in my chest. Not because I was still in love with him. Because I missed him. In a way he was my best friend. My one constant. And then he just ripped himself away from me, replacing me with… her.
Sierra spotted me first. Her eyes narrowed right before her lashes start batting so hard, I waited for them to start falling off. “Ryan! Where have you been? Every time we see you… you just well, run off!” Her voice was thick, sugary syrup. Full of fakeness.
Wade’s eyes cut away from mine. His cheeks, stained red. Prick. What kind of man blushes? A guilty as fuck one, no doubt.
“I’ve been busy…,” hooking my bag over my shoulder, I steeled my spine.
“We’ve been busy, too!” She practically jumped up and down as her eyes went wide in faked innocence right before she dropped the bomb. “We have some news! Wade and I… we… we got accepted into Duke’s research program! Waddie and I will be saving the planet next year! So, your pretty little heart won’t have to break any more at the sight of us.”
Now my face was redder than his. Marching right up to them I put a finger in his face. “How could you?! They’re still accepting applications. There’s days until the deadline!”
“Well, now, relax Ryan. It’s not Wade’s fault they already found the most qualified candidate and accepted him. I mean, why wait?”
“Most qualified, my ass! I’m the one who helped you pass botany and organic chem 200. You couldn’t… you’d never get in without me!” Then I looked down at her. “Aren’t you a liberal arts major? You don’t even have the qualifications to apply.”
Sienna slowly clapped her hands. “For someone so smart, you are so dumb!” She hooked her arm through Wade’s as she winked. “Why did you think he dated you for so long while so in lust with me? He told me all about how he had to picture me in his head while he was with you. I switched majors last year. I’m in. You’re not.”
I shook my head. She’s evil. Vicious. “Wade?” Tears blurred my vision. Could this be true? He swallowed hard, finally meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry, Ry. I just—we just happened.”
“Excuse me? You just happened to stick your body parts in her? That just doesn’t ‘happen,’ Wade.”
I shoved past them, blindly entering the swirling snow. The sting of betrayal ripped through me with the winter wind. I was played. Horribly. And that she-devil and my ex just stole my dream. I called Kell, choking back tears as I told her everything. “I still don’t understand how Sierra got the second spot.”
“Easy, Ry. He paid for it. He comes from old money, right? His daddy is probably a Duke alum and probably donated some ridiculous sum of money to the marine bio program. Pay for play. That’s how shit like this works. It doesn’t matter who deserves the spots. There will be no spots if there’s no money for the program. He bought his way in, Ryan. Hers, too. I’m sorry.”
“This world sucks. I’ll never get a fair shot.”
“Don’t stop now. Cheaters never prosper and all that. Look, we both know Sierra is meaner than a wet panther while Wade is a total cad.” When Kell gets mad her full southern comes out.
“He just blew my dream right out of the water, seconds after I sent in my application.”
“He could be full of shit.”
“He was guilty as fuck. I saw it all over his face.”
“Don’t give up. You can’t let that trollop win.”
I shrugged. “She already did. I’ve got to walk back in the snow. I’ll call you later.”
I was frozen by the time I made it back to the dorm. Conversations stopped, followed by hurried whispers. News traveled fast over social media and the word was already out that Sienna had stolen another thing that be
longed to me. What was it with that girl? Instead of stealing other people’s dreams she should have found her own. I refrained from commenting on Wade’s Insta post when I went to delete him and found myself looking through them instead. I almost yacked at his Tik Tok video. It was them in swimwear and snorkels announcing that they got in. In two taps, I deleted Wade from my social media world. He can have his fake life with his fake girl. It’s not like she’s going to be able to keep his grades afloat. “Good luck keeping your head above water,” I muttered, plugging in my laptop while watching the swirling snow outside.
My phone chimed with an incoming email.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
SUBJECT: RESEARCH PROGRAM
Dear Ryan Hilldale,
Thank you for your submission for the Marine Research Program. Qualified candidates will be contacted shortly for further information on the review process.
Dr. Erin Winnfield
Duke University Director of Marine Sciences
I chucked my phone on the bed. I was tempted to reply, “Why bother when it’s fixed.” I didn’t want to eighty-six any chance of getting in after Wade flunks out. I took a hot shower instead, put on a comfy old pair of yoga pants then scrolled through Netflix. “Rough day?” My roommate, Gretchen asked as she walked in.