“We should talk,” I said, then checked there were no older brothers in sight and headed downstairs.
12
Lucy
I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache – will that learn me to drink less, no – and a pleasant tenderness between my thighs.
The night before came flooding back to me and I was equal parts horrified and pleased. As I stretched against the pillows, I remembered the feel of Caden’s hands on me, the way he stretched me inside. God, he was huge. Or, maybe Tommy had been tiny? How was I to know? I’d slept with Tommy once, with disastrous results that didn’t bear thinking of after the night before.
Even by myself, I’d never had an orgasm that intense. And his piercing? Holy shit that had felt amazing. My clit tingled and I ached for him just thinking about it. I bolted upright, panic and horror overtaking all pleasurable sensations.
I’d thought there was something between us this past week, but what if I was wrong? Oh God, what was he going to think? Drunken, slutty, little Lulubell came on to him and he was too…what? Polite? Drunk? Horny? To say no…
“He’s going to hate me,” I told myself as I got out of bed. “It was probably pity sex, or just good-enough sex… He was probably thinking of the girl he loves the whole time… Shit Lucy, what have you done?”
But dear Lord, had it felt good. I wanted round two desperately. But first, I needed a freezing cold shower before I could face anyone.
I slunk out to the bathroom and, of course, had to find Caden coming out of it. And he had to be wearing nothing but low-slung tracksuit pants. I felt my cheeks flush and I couldn’t look him in the eye as I pressed myself to the wall to get out of the way.
“Uh, hi…” he said.
Did he sound awkward? Or, was that just me? God, even just the sound of his voice made my insides melt a little as I remembered how he panted my name.
“Uh, morning…afternoon…hi…” I smiled awkwardly, still not looking at him, and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“I guess I’ll see you downstairs, then.” He brushed past me.
There had been plenty of space in the hallway, that touch had to be deliberate. Maybe he wasn’t feeling awkward about last night? Maybe it was just me. Oh God, I’d have to go downstairs and be in the same room as him and my brothers. And here I was, creaming at the thought of having him inside me again.
“Not good, not good,” I muttered as I got in under the water. I squealed and jumped back out immediately.
“Lulu!” Oscar barged into the room and promptly turned around. “Shit, sorry! You screamed… I thought… Are you okay?”
Okay? Two of the guys under this roof have seen me butt naked in the last twelve hours. No, I’m not okay!
I smiled, hiding myself behind the shower curtain. “Fine. The water’s just a little cold.”
“You know they invented something for that. It’s called a hot tap.” Luther popped his head around the door.
“Don’t go scaring us, Lu. Shit, thought you were dead in there or something!” Carter grumbled, making an appearance.
“And you see I’m okay, so why do you all seem to think it’s necessary to stand around while I’m butt naked! Besides, how many dead people scream?”
There were now four laughing faces in the doorframe.
“You’re obviously not watching enough horror films,” Caden said and I wrapped myself entirely behind the shower curtain; the last thing I needed was for my brothers to see how I reacted to him, especially naked.
“Right. Out now, please. All of you. A girl needs her privacy. Next time I’m dying I’ll be sure to make it clear. If it’s not clear, no barging in. Got it?”
“What if you don’t have time–?”
“Carter!” I yelled, pointing towards the door.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” he muttered.
“Woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” Oscar replied.
“If she was anyone else, I’d think she needed a good lay,” Luther chuckled.
“Ew!” they all laughed.
I stuck my head out of the shower and saw they’d all left. All but Caden, who gave me a sexy smile and a wink before closing the door for me. I slid back into the shower, though jumped right back out again when it was still freezing, and wondered what in the hell that last look had been about.
Even my brain wasn’t naïve enough to think it couldn’t have had anything to do with Luther’s comment. I may have only had sex twice in my life, but I’d grown up in a house of five boys. I’d always been treated as the girl, as precious, as something not to be associated with gross boy things, but even Dad had gone blokey with the four of them sometimes.
I turned up the hot water a little to take the chill off and let it run over me. I wasn’t game enough to turn the hot back off, but I should have. All I could think about was Caden’s hands, his dick, all the things he could do to me. My mind wandered, imagining him in the shower with me.
My hand slid between my legs as I pictured it was him touching me and I came hard. Panting, I had to lean on the shower wall until my legs could support me again. I felt a little less like I might explode if I had to be in the same room as Caden, and I finally pulled myself out of the shower. I hurried to my room and got dressed in something I thought would be chaste enough that my brothers wouldn’t notice I was doing anything different, but might get Caden’s attention, if that was even possible.
“What are you doing?” I asked myself before I went down to the kitchen.
Truthfully, I didn’t know. On one hand, I was panicked about being in the same room with him after last night, and on the other I was willing to try almost anything to make it happen again. Part of me knew, even if it did, it would only ever be sex, someone else held his heart. But another part of me told myself I couldn’t give up hoping he’d love me one day.
“God, you’re messed up,” I muttered as I headed downstairs.
The boys were in the kitchen, apparently only recently up themselves.
“Want some breakfast, Lu?” Oscar asked. “Or, you too hungover?”
“She’s totally hungover. Look how pale she is,” Carter crowed.
I was pretty sure it wasn’t the hangover that had me so pale.
“Shut up, arsehole.” I threw a tea towel at him. “What are you cooking, Oz?”
“Whatever you want, sister mine.”
“Waffles, please.” I smiled.
“Should have guessed, bro. You owe me ten!” Caden laughed.
“You suck,” Carter mumbled.
“I told you it was a waste of a bet, Cart.” Luther smiled from behind his paper.
“I don’t know why you never ask me what I want for breakfast, I shared a womb with you, dude!”
“We all did time in that womb, you idiot,” Oscar laughed.
“Gross,” Luther winced. “I don’t need to be thinking about Mum like that.”
“We all have wombs, Luther. Just part of being a girl,” I said, turning on the coffee machine.
“No, you don’t and you’ll know nothing about such things for another twelve years at least!”
“Yes, Dad,” I laughed. “You do know I’ve been physically able to have kids for years, right?” I turned and found all four of them staring at me in…
Well, Luther looked like I’d just found out Father Christmas wasn’t real for the first time and he had to do damage control. Oscar was in turns horrified and amused. Carter was just plain horrified. And Caden looked at me like he’d never actually seen me before.
“You boys are going to catch a lot of flies running around like that,” I laughed.
“I’ll help with the coffee, Lu.” Caden cleared his throat.
He stepped up behind me and reached up for the coffee cups. As he did, he pressed against me and I felt how hard he was. I blushed and hoped to God none of the other boys noticed. Not that they’d see anything odd in our behaviour, but m
e blushing might have tipped them off.
As he reached around me to put the cups down, his hands brushed my breasts. I felt myself relax back against him, my hips rolling towards him.
“Hey, Cade, should probably check out Weaver’s place first today,” Carter said, obviously totally oblivious to whatever I thought I was doing with Caden.
I slid out from between him and the counter and got the milk from the fridge.
I let their talk become background noise while Caden and I made the coffees, then sat at the table. Oscar plated up breakfast, giving me an odd look, before sitting down with us. I ate in silence, finally relaxing as the boisterous talk of the four boys washed over me. It was like things had never changed; Caden had never left and I hadn’t spent five years with another guy pretending I was over him, I was still just hopelessly in love with him, but I wasn’t irresistibly attracted to him and worried about jumping him in front of my brothers.
I often wondered what it would have been like if Caden had never left. Would I have actually got over him, or would it be just as bad? Did I sub-consciously put him on some kind of pedestal while he was gone and he wasn’t really all that?
I snuck a look at him while they cleared the table and went back to staring at my coffee. Even if I had put him on a pedestal, he was totally all that and I knew it.
“Lulu, are you okay?”
I looked up and found it was just me and Oscar in the room.
I laughed. “Sure, why?”
“You just seem…I don’t know, a little out of sorts today.”
I’d always talked to Oscar about everything, except Caden. “I’m fine. Like Carter said, just a little seedy.”
“And Cade?”
“What about him?”
Oscar shrugged. “Nothing, I guess. You two just seemed a little off. I thought something might have happened last night?”
“What? No!” I answered way too quickly. “No, we’re fine.”
“Good. But you know, if you weren’t…just remember Cade loves you, Lu. If anything happened, the two of you can sort it.”
Because I needed another reminder that Caden loved me like a sister. Then, what was last night? Shut up, brain.
I nodded. “Yeah, I know Oz. You all love me. I’m the little sister.”
“Uh, yeah, of course…” Oscar didn’t sound convinced, but I got up and headed for the stairs.
“Thanks, bro. I should check in with Brit.”
“Yeah, of course. Say hi to her for me.”
I nodded and heard him muttering something as I left. I thought it had something to do with blind idiots, but I was feeling too dejected to care.
13
Caden
I had no idea what I’d done wrong. Did I do anything wrong? Should I have stayed after? Did she actually want me to stay? Dammit, there was too much emotion involved and I couldn’t think straight.
All I knew was that she was avoiding me.
I hadn’t had a chance to talk to her on Saturday since I’d asked Carter to take me around looking for a new motorbike. I’d sold my old one when I left and figured I may as well put the money down if I might be home for a while – although Morrison and Phillips would have to be kept out of the loop. We’d been out all afternoon and Oscar told us she’d gone out before we got home.
I was sorely tempted to follow, but didn’t know how to voice the thought we should go out too without sounding weird about it. Sure, I would have mentioned it before, but I couldn’t for the life of me think of anything to say that wouldn’t make me feel like I was giving something away now. So, we all just sat and talked, drinking a few beers and just generally dicking around like we used to.
Oscar spent a lot of the night watching me as though he was trying to figure something out.
“You want a picture, bro?” I asked, kissing his cheek before getting up to get another beer.
He grimaced. “No, thanks. I’ve got plenty of pictures of your ugly mug, I sure don’t need any more.”
“Well, that’s your hard luck.”
We’d hung around until late. Luther was starting to worry about Lucy – not that I hadn’t been thinking about her all night – when she finally strolled in the door. I thought my jaw may well have hit the floor.
Lucy was smiling at us, wearing a skin-tight, knee-length black dress with a split up the thigh and not nearly enough going on up top. She wore tall black heels and her hair was twirled around in a mess of curls…there’s probably some fancier way to describe it so it doesn’t sound so shit, but it honestly did look nice. She’d been drinking, but she wasn’t drunk.
Luther exploded. “Oscar, are you fucking kidding me?”
“What? I thought she looked nice.”
“Nice? Nice? That’s not nice, that’s high class call girl at best!”
“Fuck you, Luther!” Lucy said and we all whirled on her. I couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever said ‘fuck’ and now she’d said it two days in a row. “This is classed as elegant, dickhead. Brit and I went out to Oscar’s restaurant. By the way, Pierre’s okay, but he’s not you. And I am dressed entirely appropriately!” She yelled and stomped up the stairs.
“Dude, you have to stop looking at her the way you would. Not every guy looks at her and wants to get in her pants.” Oscar shook his head. “She’s right, she looked amazing. Dude, I get that you want to look out for her, but loosen up a little. She’s strong and she can take care of herself. Cade, back me up. How did she look?”
“Beautiful,” I replied before I could stop myself.
“Thank you,” Oscar replied.
“He’s just been away too long, he’s forgotten.”
“Don’t you dare say that, Luther!” Carter exploded. “Cade watched her grow up, just like the rest of us. He cares about her just the same as us and that’s something that never goes away.”
No, it might not go away, but it sure can change.
Luther had the balls to look apologetic. “Cade, I’m sorry man.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I get it. You stepped up when your Dad died, mate. It’s in our blood to protect her.” I cleared my throat. “Now, enough of this touchy-feely crap, more beer!”
“If I can join you, you can share my Fireball,” Lucy said from the stairs, changed into a t-shirt and shorts.
“You just want our beer,” Carter accused.
“Maybe, but I think it’s a fair trade,” she replied, waggling the bottle.
“Yeah, all right,” Carter laughed.
We sat around for a few hours more, chatting and laughing like old times. Lucy avoided looking at me most of the time, but she’d smile or make some comment to what I’d said every now and then, and I’d feel like maybe things weren’t broken between us permanently.
By the time we all went to bed, I knew we’d be nursing headaches in the morning, and they’d be worse than the previous morning.
My room was across the hall from Lucy’s and I ran into her as she came out of the bathroom.
“Hey, Luce…”
“Mm?” She smiled.
“Uh, we’re okay, right? I mean, I know we didn’t get a chance to talk, but last night…”
She looked panicked and I wondered what she was thinking. For a while, she looked undecided in what she was going to say. Finally, she forced a smile. “Everything’s fine, Cade. We’re family, we’ll always be good.”
She patted my arm and slipped into her room.
“Great.”
Just like that I’d been put back in the family zone again. I couldn’t pretend, after the night before, I hadn’t hoped something might have changed between us. But I guess, when you’ve been in love with a guy for years, maybe you’re just incapable of seeing anyone else that way.
I’d only been a passing, drunken fling, brought on by my inability to hide my attraction to her.
I paused as I took off my shirt.
“Hang on…”
Ma
ybe all I needed was another chance? There might be something between us if I just showed her I cared. No, you sound like an idiot. I huffed. What did I have to lose by surreptitiously wooing her? I wasn’t going to come out and tell her I loved her, that would just freak her out.
No… I had to start small, flirtations. She’d seemed pretty into me the night before, was it too much to hope I could make her crave my body at least? Make her want more until that other guy was nothing but a memory?
I had to start somewhere, right?
****
The next day, I had a check in with the personal trainer and a call to take from the team.
“There’s the fucker,” Gunner chuckled and I smiled as they all tried crowding around the camera. “You still alive then?”
If we didn’t allow ourselves to joke about it, we dwelled on it and that wasn’t good for anybody.
“Barely,” I laughed.
“How’s things, Reece?” Phillips asked.
I nodded. “Getting there, sir.”
“Burnley and the physio have updated us. Morrison and I are pleased with your progress.”
“You know me, sir. I’m a good boy who does as he’s told.”
“Are you, what.” Phillips grinned and the others laughed.
“Remind me again who fought through a fracture despite being told explicitly not to stand on it?” Benyon said, teasing.
“And I definitely remember someone being told not to go after that kid,” Gunner said.
“And my shit is constantly getting your fingerprints on it even with the threat of bodily harm,” Richards was slightly less subtle.
I cracked a smile. “Okay. I could stand to go back to Sarge’s bootcamp and have some more obedience smacked into me. But I am doing all my PT shit. It’s getting stronger every day.”
Phillips nodded. “Good to hear.”
“How go things without me?”
“Oh, mate. We’re useless,” Gunner said. “Constantly lying around in our nightgowns and wailing our lament at your absence–”
Caden (Loving the Sykes Book 1) Page 8