by R. A. Mejia
More servants arrive with towels and dry me off. A dresser with a mirror is brought in, and for the first time in months, I finally get a chance to see myself. I knew that I looked different, but I had not expected to see a yeti staring back at me. My hair, recently dried, stands out in puffs, and there is a patchy mess growing on my upper lip that can generously be called a mustache. I sniff in satisfaction. I’ve always wanted to look like a mountain man. Now, I just have to convince my face to grow a beard. All I've managed so far is a patch of straggly hair on the tip of my chin.
Pauline walks in the room, and I quickly cover my twig and berries. “Thanks for the wash, but I don’t see what this has to do with me crossing into the Empire.”
She smiles at my modesty and looks up at me. “You wouldn’t, but that’s okay.” She walks around and examines me from head to toe before snapping her fingers. A servant appears at her side, and I hear her say, “The hairy beast man look may change his appearance, but it’ll draw too much attention in the south. It’s too hot for that much hair, so he’ll need a complete shave--head to toe.”
The servant nods once before motioning to others behind her. Before I know it, I’m sitting in a chair, and women are lathering my whole body with some foamy stuff. I feel someone behind me start to cut my hair, and a group of women approach me with straight razors in their hands.
Pauline laughs at the look of terror on my face. “Don’t move, or they may accidentally cut off something important.”
There’s a chorus of giggles from the servants. I just sit there, defeated, and before I know it, they’re done.
Pauline motions for me to stand, and I do. She tosses me a pile of clothes. I happily put them on and can instantly appreciate the feeling of clean clothes on my smooth skin. The first item is a pair of underwear that I’m glad covers my privates. Then I put on a pair of loose-fitting light-brown pants with a drawstring around the waist to tighten them. Next are leather sandals and then something I’m told is called a thawb and looks like a billowy robe whose hem goes all the way down to my ankles. The robe is a tan color, and the cotton feels nice, but the sleeves are long and a little loose around my wrists. Someone hands me another article of clothing that looks like a short dark-cotton coat with wide sleeves. The last add-on is a large piece of cloth that is placed over my shaven scalp and held in place by a cord hoop which is fitted around my head. Looking in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself. I stare at the man looking back at me and compare him to the hairy beast I’d seen shortly before. I look more like the guys that attacked us in the desert than I do the man on the wanted poster. Plus, Pauline was right: I’m already much cooler without all the hair.
“Not bad,” I say, looking at myself in the mirror.
Pauline nods appreciatively. “Now, no one will look twice at you as you travel. You may have to change attire when you leave the desert and get deeper into the Empire, but that’s also why we shaved your head.”
“Wait, what?” I quickly pull the cloth and cord off my head and look in the mirror to see that she’s right: all of the hair on my head is gone. I rub my head and feel the smooth skin with my hand as I bend over and look in the mirror, examining the top and back of my head to make sure it’s all gone. Geesh, I knew I might go bald one day, but I never expected it to be this soon. Still, while I may miss my hair, I understand the need for a new look--one that’s not like that wanted poster.
I sigh, wearily accepting that I’m bald now. I turn to Pauline and try to smile. “Thanks for the new clothes and the shave.”
She laughs. “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to the look soon enough. Besides, some women like a hairless man.”
Oh, God. Sonya. What’s she going to think of this? Is she still going to like me without my luscious locks?
I walk out of the room and back into the dining area. My friends are deep into a generous dinner when Vrax catches sight of me. His first instinct is to grab the handle of the short sword at his side, but then he does a double-take and peers at me intently. Keans has already seen me, and he smirks before going back to the conversation he’s having with another halfling guest. Vrax gets up from his seat, walks up to me and starts to sniff me and my clothes. He wrinkles his snout slightly. “Brood brother, you lose all your scent. Now, you just smell like . . .” He sniffs me again. “Flowers. You smell like flowers.”
Vrax’s antics have finally caught the attention of the rest of my friends. Mary flies up to me, a little unsteadily. She peers at me through bleary, half-drunk eyes and asks, “Armon? Is that you? Who stole all your hair?” She then lands on the top of my head, and I can feel her small hands rub the bare skin there. I shake my head to dislodge the fairy, and I hear her cry out, “Woah. Stop that! I’m starting to feel nauseous . . .” I feel a flutter of wings and see her fly off to the corner of the tent to barf into a flower vase.
I’m watching Mary, laughing, when Sony’s voice catches my attention. “Well, well. Don’t you look like a new man.” I turn to see her just as she gets up from the table and walk over. Her chainmail jingles slightly as she comes toward me. I don’t know how she does it, but even in her heavy armor, she manages to walk rather sensuously. She looks me up and down in my new robes, and she raises her hand and rubs the top of my hairless head. Somehow, she makes even that sexy, and I find myself leaning into her caress. She giggles and comes close enough to kiss. Her nose wrinkles slightly, but unlike Vrax, she’s smiling when she does it. “Mmmm. You smell nice, Armon. You know what they say, don’t you?”
I shake my head, dazzled by her closeness, and she continues with a smile.
“The best cologne a man can wear is the scent of soap.”
The female servants watching laugh in agreement. Enchanted by her closeness, I lean forward slightly to kiss Sonya, and I am consumed by her fiery response. When I come up for air, I’m a bit breathless. I look her in the eyes and murmur, “If that’s your response to a bath, I’ll have to invent the portable shower so that I can get cleaned up for you daily.”
Her eyes narrow, and her lips press together in a mixed look of confusion and amusement. She’s likely never heard of a shower, but I think she gets the idea. The two of us part, but the smoldering look in her eyes tells me we’ll be spending some quality time together later.
The rest of the evening is spent eating, talking, and planning the next phase of our journey. My night is spent with the woman who is quickly capturing my heart.
Chapter 16
We’re up before sunrise the next day. The stars shine brightly in the sky, and there’s a chill wind that makes the cold seep into my bones. The preparations and loading of the pack animals near the stables takes place by lamp. [Darkvision] helps me navigate through the crowd of people towards Keans, who is off to the side, leaning against a building and drinking a cup of something. When I get closer, I see that Pauline is with him. The two are sharing a pot of what smells like agave. Pauline produces another cup from somewhere as I approach, hands it to me, and pours me some of the delightful beverage. I just hold it in my hands for a minute, letting the cup warm my them. It’s surprising how cold the mornings in the desert can get. I take my first sip of the hot drink and feel a delightful warmth spread through my chest. I nod in appreciation of the drink. It’s not quite as good as Lilliandra’s tea recipe, but it’s tasty and still gives a nice mana regeneration buff.
As I drink, I look off at the camels being loaded up with goods. The hulking animals are over six feet tall when standing, and though their long necks may give them a comical appearance, they also let them nip and spit at their handlers. I sure hope I don’t have to ride one of those beasts. I can barely ride a horse.
Keans’ voice interrupts my contemplation. “Armon.” I turn, still half-thinking of what it would be like to be thrown off a camel, to see Pauline and Keans staring at me. I must have missed something they said. “Sorry, I’m still a bit out of it this morning. Could you repeat that?”
Pauline stares at me in annoyance
for a second before continuing, “As I was saying, you’ll be traveling with one of my caravans through the Loblin Desert. Both the Imperare Empire and Monstrum claim the area is theirs, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t belong to either. Both countries have tried to send armies across it to attack the other, but none have survived the harsh conditions. So, the desert serves as a kind of buffer zone--a no man’s land.”
Before she can say more, I ask, “If the desert is so hard to cross, then how are we going to get across it?”
Pauline doesn’t seem to appreciate being interrupted. She scowls at me and then continues with a bit of sarcasm in her voice. “If I’d be allowed to continue?” I see a small smirk on Keans’ face, and I nod at her. “While it’s impossible for an army to get through the desert, it’s more than feasible for a well-prepared caravan. I’ve made arrangements with several desert tribes to provide you with food and water. You’ll cut across the desert, past the normal border guards, and rendezvous with my team in the Empire. After my goods are delivered, you’ll be free to roam the Empire on your own.”
Desert Guard Duty
You’ve been asked by Pauline to guard her caravan through the Loblin Desert into the Imperare Empire.
Reward: 50 XP.
Accept or Decline?
I accept the quest and ask, “So, we’ll be acting as guards?”
“More or less. The caravan shouldn’t run into any problems from the Empire, but there may be attacks by desert animals or the like.”
“What about those guys that were riding those scorpions? Should we expect trouble from them?”
She shakes her head. “No. Those guys are a local group. You’ll be out of their territory by late afternoon.” She grins at me and punches a fist into her palm. “Besides, I’ve already sent some of my people to talk to their leader.”
Keans adds, with a knowing smile, “And when Pauline sends someone to talk to you, you inevitably listen.”
The two share a look that reflects their shared past, and I can only imagine the adventures the two must have had. I finish my cup of agave and return it to Pauline before heading out to look for Mary, Vrax, and Sonya. I find the trio near the camels, helping the workers pack. Well, Vrax and Sonya are helping. Mary is just sitting on one of the saddled camels, clutching her head in her hands. She doesn’t look too good.
“You feeling okay, Mary?”
She raises her head for a moment before groaning and returning it to her hands. “Oh, it’s you. Can’t you speak softly? I have a pounding headache.”
“Had a bit too much fun last night?”
She rubs her temples while keeping her eyes closed. “There’s no such thing as too much fun. Only too much alcohol.” She opens one eye to peer at me and reluctantly admits, “I may have drunk more than I should have.”
“Well, why don’t you lay down there, and I’ll help Sonya and Vrax pack our camels.”
Mary just nods and lies down. Shaking my head, I leave my fairy companion to her hangover. I head over to Sonya, who is carrying supplies to a group of three camels. She hands them up to Vrax, who is nimbly walking along a camel’s back while tying supplies to its flanks. He’s quite adept at what he’s doing, and I decide to not try and help him. I’d likely just ruin things, and I don’t have nearly the dexterity he does. Instead, I offer to help Sonya. She pauses, carrying two large sacks on her shoulders.
“Sure. You can help. Here. Carry this.” She hands me one of the sacks, and I stagger under its weight. Sonya laughs at the sight of me struggling, but I dig deep and, through an act of will, straighten up and carry it over to Vrax. He struggles a little when I pass it to him, but he maneuvers it into place where it needs to go and ties it down. Thinking about how easily Sonya carried that load, I realize just how few of my stat points are in strength. I’ve invested most of my points into intelligence for the increases to my mana pool, and more recently, into wisdom for boosts to mana regeneration. Well, no use in crying over spent points now. I’ll just have to suck it up and help out best I can.
I jog back to the pile of supplies and pick up a smaller bag. It’s not nearly the weight or size of the last one, and it’s more manageable for me. We work together to load and secure all the stuff our group will need for the journey ahead. According to Pauline, it’ll take two weeks to travel to the drop-off site, and even more if the weather turns bad or if something goes wrong.
The sun is just rising above the horizon when we finish tying off the last sack. The sky is painted in vivid swaths of red, orange, and even purple as night is pushed back. The land itself seems to stretch and waken as the rays of the sun poke at it like long, red fingers. The caravan master comes walking through to inspect our work. He adjusts a few of the packs on one camel but quickly moves on. While the final details of the caravan are checked, my friends change into their traveling clothes. Keans and Sonya put on robes similar to mine, but Vrax takes off all his armor and strips down to his small clothes. He puts on the slave collar without complaint, though I see his eye twitch when it snaps shut. Normal slave collars are engraved with magical spells that force obedience to the owner. Vrax’s has the appropriate engravings, but its magic is not active. Still, even knowing that it’s a fake, it must gall a proud kobold like Vrax to wear such an object.
Vrax looks wild and fierce with his blood-red scales and black horns, wearing a loin cloth and weapon. I’m reminded that he looked much the same when I first met him. He didn’t have a sword then, but a stone knife instead. He and some other kobolds were going out to steal livestock at the behest of a domineering troll. I knocked out the other kobolds, but Vrax put up such a good fight that I was forced to reveal that I was looking to stop the raids and the troll. He took a chance in believing me, but it paid off for his tribe, and I ended up gaining Vrax as a brood brother. I would have never imagined back then that I’d have traveled so far, met so many people, or done any of the things I’ve done since then.
I shake my head to clear the reminiscing. Sonya and Keans are walking for the first leg of today’s trip and Vrax, Mary, and I are riding a camel. Vrax is already up in the saddle and holds a three-fingered hand out to help me up. I take my friend’s hand and scramble up into the saddle with him. The camel groans and turns his shaggy tan head towards me, teeth bared. He tries to bite my legs, but I’m able to get into the saddle and move my leg just enough to avoid the animal’s teeth. The animal shows his teeth again in what I imagine is a promise that he’ll get me next time before facing forward again.
“You really need to improve your charisma score, Armon. Even the animals don’t like you.” I look up toward the sound of Mary’s voice and see her hovering in mid-air, hands on her hips. “I’m surprised you had enough charisma to land a hottie like Sonya.”
I glance to my left at a robed Sonya speaking with Keans and then back up at Mary. “I’m surprised too. But, I guess not everything depends on stats. My stunning personality and wit must won her over.”
Mary gives me a disgusted look. “Sure. That’s what it was.” She places one finger on her lips and pretends to think. “What was that amazing opening line you used?” Then, in a mocking tone, she pretends to be me. “Uh, duh. You so pretty, lady. What your name?” She laughs at her own joke, and I can’t help but smile too. It wasn’t that bad, but I was pretty tongue-tied when I first saw Sonya.
My thoughts are interrupted as the caravan master gives the signal that we’re ready to leave. He yells something I don’t understand, and all the camels, who had been resting on their haunches up until that moment, suddenly get to their feet. It’s all I can do to grab the saddle and try to stay in it as the beast beneath me shifts and stands. I look around to grab the reins and guide the camel but don’t see any.
“Hey, how am I supposed to steer this thing?” I ask no one in particular.
Mary giggles above me and answers, “You’re not. The camel puller is going to guide them.” She points to the front of the camel, and I see that it has a large
nose ring through which a rope is tied. That rope is tied to the saddle of the camel in front of it, and the process is repeated along the line of animals until it ends at the one being directed by a rider.
In a terrible Obi-Wan Kenobi voice, Mary says, “They always ride in single file to hide their numbers.”
I snicker. “Okay, Jedi master. I get it. I don’t have to worry about steering.”
Vrax, who is sitting behind me, asks, “What is Jedi?”
Mary lands on the pommel of the saddle, puts her hands on her hips, and looks up at me with a scandalized expression. “How could we have forgotten such an important part of Vrax’s education? We told him about the mystery and tragedy of the Potterverse, and you told him all about those dumb kung fu movies.”
“Hey, those kung fu movies are awesome, not dumb.”
Mary ignores my comment and continues on: “How could we forget to tell him about the Force and its warrior priests?”
I try to resist the urge, but the bait is too much, and I spit out, “Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes.”