“Be still. You move too much. The fish can sense your restlessness.”
Smart fish, thought Noah as he cast a glance at Tayte, catching her watching him.
Within two hours, he and Agnes had caught nine fish, enough for a hearty supper for the three of them. Tayte opted to do the dishes while Noah did the evening feeding and Agnes fed the baby goats one of their last bottle feedings before introducing them to the herd.
The handle jiggled on the feeding-barn door as Noah opened it to put the pails back in. He leaned against the truck, noting all the work that remained on the old farm. There was no joy in it this night. Tayte’s unwillingness or inability to love him had been a sour end to a day that dawned with sweet expectation. If she couldn’t love him, there would be no marriage. No hope of a family, and his time on Alsace would be temporary. He couldn’t bear staying, day in and day out, planning a future on the unstable foundation of possibilities. He spent eighteen years waiting for his father to love him. He couldn’t put himself through that again.
Why couldn’t Tayte love him? Why couldn’t she at least try? He debated packing up and moving back into his aunt’s house while he figured things out. Tayte said she was afraid, but hadn’t he stuck his neck out? Wasn’t he worth her taking a risk?
The answer to the question frightened him. Perhaps he wasn’t.
The ache gnawed at his peace, troubling him. He ran his hand over the leather band on his wrist and closed his eyes as the numbness beckoned him. It was easier then, when he was closed up. Malaise was his dragon. Numbness was his rabbit hole. He understood Agnes’s fight. Sliding was easier. He shook his head to push the thoughts back. No. He would not yield again.
The majesty of the brilliant night sky countered the darkness of his thoughts, and he thought of Uncle John. I miss you.
Noah decided to lie back in the truck bed and admire the stars. When the gate on the truck lowered, he found the neglected Juggernaut and bag of supplies. He scooted into the bed and lay down using the bag as his pillow. He picked up the massive rocket and rolled it over and over in his hands, examining it, imagining the show it would have provided. He’d wanted Uncle John’s grandchildren to see the rockets’ fire ascend to the sky, imagining their patriarch up there, looking down on them, rather than lying in a hole in the ground. He thought of heaven and hoped there was such a place, where peace and love endured forever. Uncle John and Sarah believed in such a place. Agnes did as well. They drew strength and comfort from their faith. The pattern hadn’t escaped him: the people he admired, people he wanted to emulate, had God as an anchor. Noah wanted to believe so much he’d begun quietly praying to God when things got out of hand in his life. There was no way to quantify the value of his efforts, but situations that would have sent him back into the darkness had not. Maybe that was his answer.
The lowing of the animals lulled Noah into a contented peace when the squeak of the screen door announced Tayte’s arrival. She slid onto the truck bed and sat sideways near his feet with her back against the side. Pointing to the Juggernaut, which was still perched across his chest, she asked, “What’s that?”
“A mammoth rocket. It was supposed to be the finale piece of the fireworks show.”
“Why didn’t you set it off?”
Noah grunted as he considered how to explain. “It would’ve meant the show was over. Uncle John wasn’t ready for things to end. I don’t care for endings either.”
Tayte dipped her head and began fumbling with her hands. “Grandma’s out like a light. She fell asleep feeding the last goat.”
Tayte’s effort to evade the emotional albatross hanging over them made conversation difficult this night. Noah didn’t reply.
“She’s introducing them to the herd tomorrow.”
Silence.
“That’ll be fun to see, don’t you think?”
“Uh hmmm.”
She turned and looked at him. “So we’re really not all right.”
His voice was calm as he asked, “We’re in limbo. Is that where you want to be?”
Her hands stilled, and she turned toward him. “Why do you have to make everything so hard?”
“It’s an easy question, Tayte.”
“I’ve told you how much I care for you. I’ve never told anyone that. Why can’t what we have be enough for now?”
“Because it isn’t.” Noah sat up and leaned into the back corner of the truck bed. “Uncle John ignored things, hoping they’d take care of themselves, and the only thing that plan got him was a load of regret. And then I think of Agnes. Something she can’t control is sucking her memories away, stealing her life, but she fights every day to hold on to the world she loves. She’s the bravest person I know.”
“I’m not like her. Neither you nor I had great examples when we were growing up.”
Noah settled in beside her, turning his face to the night sky. They sat like that for several minutes, the silence seeping into them like the evening chill. “Those were our parents’ failures. Not ours.”
Tayte shook her head. “People leave. People disappoint each other.”
“Some do. You don’t, and I won’t.”
Tayte toyed with the zipper on her hoodie. “How can you say that? How can you be sure?”
Noah rose to his knees, facing her. Framing her face in his hands, he answered, “Because I know this guy will never, ever walk away from someone who loves him.”
Tayte’s eyes shone like liquid glass. “I’m not sure I can say the same about this girl.”
“Maybe not. I can’t stop her from leaving. But I can make her so happy that leaving me is the last thing she’d ever want to do.” He sealed his words with a whisper-like kiss, and when Tayte closed her eyes to receive it, two tears slid down her cheek. Noah wiped them with his thumbs as he continued to hold her face in his hands. “You’ve been through a lot, and life hasn’t shattered you. You’re made of better stuff than you know.”
“You really think so?”
He heard hope in her voice. “I do. If you love me at all, take a chance on us. Don’t squander something wonderful because you didn’t even try.”
“I do love you, Noah.”
Words that should have been an admission of joy sounded like terms of surrender. He released his hands and sat back on heels. “But you’re not in love with me, are you?”
Tayte wrapped her arms around her torso. “Not loving you would be so much easier. I’ve been in love with you from the day I saw that cocky framer sitting on the barn roof.”
The sadness remained in her voice, sending mixed messages that confused Noah. “You tried to get rid of me that day.”
“Because I knew if you stayed we’d end up right where we are.”
“Which is?”
“I’m about to take the bravest leap of my life.” She dipped her face away from him. “I’m still not sure why you stay. Or why you love me.”
He tipped her chin and pressed his forehead to hers. “Because you erase all the old ugliness and loneliness inside me.”
“I hope so, because I do love you, Noah.”
He drew near and nuzzled her neck. “I might need to hear that one more time.”
She gasped as his lips touched the hollow of her throat. “I definitely, absolutely, love you.” Tayte removed her glasses and wrapped her arms around Noah’s neck. She smiled before growing serious once more. “Promise me again to never break my heart.”
“I promise, Tayte. I’ll mess up and make you as angry as a hornet from time to time, but I’ll never willingly hurt you and I’ll never walk away.” He handed her the Juggernaut. “You keep this as a reminder that I don’t believe in endings.”
“Okay.” She laughed nervously. “And you remember that I’m entrusting you with my heart.”
* * *
He was the first one up Monday day morning. He began another batch of waffle batter and was feeding the animals when Agnes strolled outside dressed in dungarees and a red-banded straw hat. Noah broke a spr
ig from a flowering dogwood and tucked it into the band. “Good morning,” he said, kissing Agnes’s cheek.
“Good morning, mon cher! You’re in a very good mood today.”
“Yes, I am,” he admitted proudly. “I’m planning a picnic. Wanna help?”
Agnes clapped her hands together. “I was planning on introducing the baby goats to the herd today, and I need to stay close to make sure they are accepted.”
“Can’t that wait one more day?” Noah wriggled his eyebrows at her.
“All right. One more day.”
The pair headed inside and rifled through the fridge to see what treasures it held. In between making waffles, Noah helped Agnes bake an apple cake and assemble sandwiches.
Noah’s heart skipped a beat when Tayte came downstairs, contacts in, minimal makeup, and her hair piled on her head. She wore jeans and a ruffled blouse Noah loved. She stopped on the last step and smiled at him, mouthing a good-morning only he could see.
He stepped back and placed his hands over his chest, playfully simulating a heart attack. Tayte laughed as she entered the room and headed over to Agnes.
“Good morning,” she said, giving Agnes a kiss before crossing into Noah’s arms.
“So,” said Agnes. “You finally admit that you are in love. Now Tayte, come here and chop some celery for the salad.”
The lack of consequence Agnes placed on the change in their relationship set Noah and Tayte laughing. They shared a brief kiss and attended to their duties.
“So, what are we making a salad for?” asked Tayte.
“We are going on a picnic this afternoon,” replied Agnes. “Now chop, chop, chop.”
One hour later, they drove to Hagerstown’s City Park and picnicked near the grotto. Noah pushed both ladies on swings and then led them to the bandstand in the center of the property.
Tayte scanned the posted schedule and sighed. “Ohhh. There’s no concert today.”
“It’s a private concert,” replied Noah. He pulled out his iPad and made a selection. In a moment, low-volume strains of Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” streamed to the group. “I copied my Agnes file, but I’m afraid it’s not very loud here.”
“It’s perfect,” said Agnes. “You two dance.”
Tayte led Agnes to Noah. “The first dance always goes to the guest of honor, Grandma.”
Noah bowed and took Agnes in his arms. Her gaze fixed on a point over his shoulder. Noah remembered their first dance and knew it was Tony she sought.
When their dance ended, Noah danced with Tayte, and back and forth the afternoon went, as the sole male awkwardly waltzed, two-stepped, and twisted with the women until dusk. As they drove away Tayte looked at the park. “Thank you. It was a perfect day. I hate to see it end.”
“This is just the beginning. I have surprises planned you can’t even imagine.”
She chuckled. “Well, I hope coming back here is one of them. I need to bring the Eppleys here one more time. I’m stopping by their house tomorrow to show them the portrait and arrange for the final sitting. Maybe we can plan another picnic with them.”
Noah frowned. “They weren’t too excited to see me on my last visit, remember? I don’t think Ely and Margot appreciated me telling Jenna that my leg healed and so would hers.”
Tayte winced. “You said that?”
He shook his head in anger at himself. “It was irresponsible. How can I fix it?”
“I think the best thing we can do for them is finish our work and clear out of their space. I’ll see Margot tomorrow. Will you be going there?”
“Later in the afternoon. I’m going to Uncle John’s to use a few of his tools in the morning. I’m carving the decoration into the seats that go around the fire pit.”
“And don’t forget that Nathaniel needs to see you.”
“That’s right. I nearly forgot.”
Tayte flopped back against the seat. “I can’t believe we’re almost finished with these projects. The pressure will soon be off, and then we can relax.”
Chapter 29
Anxiety tore at Tayte’s peace with each mile that passed Tuesday morning. Noah had told her to trust Agnes, and when Agnes chose not to accompany her to the appointment with the Eppleys, Tayte took Noah’s advice.
“I am not a child who needs tending, Tayte. I lived alone before you arrived, and I can manage fine by myself for a few hours.”
So Tayte left—alone. She regretted it already as her two calls to the house proved.
“Hi, Grandma. It’s a beautiful day, but if you get the idea to take a walk, could you wait until I get home? Why don’t you swing on the porch? Doesn’t that sound nice?”
A hint of irritation carried on Agnes’s voice. “Yes it does. So does a walk. I know every inch of this farm like the back of my hand. I will be fine.”
Tayte’s worry ramped up until she couldn’t refrain from finding an excuse to check back in. “Grandma? I just wanted to remind you that there’s some soup left in the fridge if you get hungry.”
Agnes huffed into the phone and then laughed. “I promise I will not get lost or starve before you get home, all right? It is good to have someone care for me, but you don’t need to worry so. Go. Have your meeting. I will be fine until you return.”
Her nervousness didn’t completely abate, but so far, Noah’s wisdom appeared correct. She missed him and headed to the Eppleys, as determined to mend whatever rift existed between him and the family as she was excited to show them the portrait.
The enthusiastic welcome she received from Margot and Ely included hugs and gushing accolades about the portrait, a different reception from the chilly greeting Noah described receiving days earlier.
Tayte answered the Eppleys’ questions about the remaining portrait process and time frame for its completion. Then they set up an appointment for the last sitting at the grotto.
After repacking the canvas, Tayte glanced toward the sliding door in the kitchen, catching a glimpse of Noah’s handiwork. He’d seen and admired her work, but she had been so preoccupied with Agnes, she hadn’t taken a chance to admire his. She asked Ely and Margot, “Could I see how the deck is coming along?”
Without waiting for an answer, she moved to the open slider and gazed at the sprawling, three-level project. The slider opened directly to the main cooking area, ringed with built-in seating that was decorated with an intricate scrollwork E carved into each bench. Built-in planters anchored each corner, and Tayte could imagine them filled with trailing flowers or small shrubs. She had to admit that the Eppleys’ rusted charcoal grill and plastic folding table and chairs seemed out of place in the elegant space.
A ramped bridge ascended a few feet to a second area with the same monogram carved into more built-in benches ringing that space. But this area was hexagonal, and the far end featured a stone-covered water wall. Water flowed from the top, pooling in a little pond at the base where small koi fish and lilies would someday reside. The restful and soothing sounds of water showed the lengths to which Noah had gone to build the Eppleys a perfect sanctuary.
The water flowed down a man-made, rock-laden stream landscaped to follow the deck lines. Her eyes traced the trail to the third section which sat to the right of the main platform, a few feet lower and connected by another ramped bridge.
It looked much the same as the upper section—ringed with monogrammed benches on three sides, which surrounded a hole in the center where the fire pit would be installed. On the fourth side, near the steps, sat a small pool. The stream’s water gathered here before being pumped back to the water wall. Tayte began noting the other details, like the carved sign over the eight-foot posts that framed the main outside entrance—a long, low ramp. It read, “The Eppleys,” and had a stick-figure rendering of the family etched under the name. There were light posts with beautiful glass shades, and under-rail lights that would cast a soft glow. Noah had considered everything, and Tayte admitted that he was as talented an artist as she was. She could easily imagine
Jenna and Micah playing and growing up here.
“The deck’s so beautiful!” she gushed when Margot arrived behind her. She noticed the spaghetti-soiled tablecloth spread across the folding picnic table. “You’re using it already. Noah will be so excited to hear that.”
She caught Margot’s rapid glance Ely’s way, and the conspicuous scowl he wore as he wheeled out of the room.
“Did I say something wrong?” asked Tayte.
Margot’s gaze lingered on the hall that seemed to swallow her husband. She motioned for Tayte to join her on the deck beyond Ely’s hearing. “The deck and Noah are difficult subjects around here right now.”
“Why?” Tayte’s reaction was visceral.
A frustrated rush of air escaped Margot. “Jenna and Ely have always shared a very special relationship.”
“Of course. He’s her father.”
“It’s more than that. Ely’s impairments give him a unique understanding of Jenna’s frustrations and sadness. He’s always been her hero. Until Noah arrived.”
Tayte exhaled in relief. “Every little girl develops crushes.”
“But Noah told her about his crippled legs, and how his healed. Now he’s Superman, offering her unfounded hope and a deck her father could never provide. It’s been a little hard on Ely. He’s a proud man. His family means everything to him, and he’s always had Jenna’s complete adoration. Sharing that has been quite painful for him.”
“That was never Noah’s intention. He was just trying to give your family a special place to make memories together.”
“I’m sure his intentions were good, but Noah isn’t a father. He couldn’t foresee the complications his story and this unbelievable deck would cause, but Ely did. He tried to decline the gift outright when it was first presented to us. Being chosen because he was a war hero was uncomfortable enough for him, especially when there are several local veterans’ families who need this kind of community support more than we do. Then he tried to decline again the day Noah revealed his extravagant plans, but the children were so enthralled by the drawings, and I have to admit, so was I. That’s why he begrudgingly accepted the offer.”
A SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE BOXED SET Page 30