Hudson nodded. “There was no reason to keep her from her family. Let’s get you down to the beach.”
He stood and tucked the blanket roll under one arm while extending the other to Olivia. She accepted his offer, fitting into his support as if it was meant for her all along. She leaned on Hudson more heavily the further they went until he was bearing the majority of her weight by the time they reached the ancient cave. Two surfers in wetsuits were exiting the cavern and gathering up their boards as Hudson and Olivia arrived. They, too, had their eyes on the darkening sky, but they shifted their attention to the couple and down to Olivia’s legs.
“Sprain?” the taller of the two asked.
“More likely just muscle strain,” replied Hudson when Olivia failed to reply.
“After we get our boards loaded, we can head back down and help carry her out.”
Olivia stiffened at the thought of being hauled out by strangers like a sack of potatoes. Hudson made brief eye contact with her, evidently catching her mortification, and replied to their offer. “Thanks, but we’ve got it.”
The shorter surfer glanced back at the dark cave and offered Hudson a knowing chuckle. “Gotcha.”
In reply, Hudson shot him a look that ended his smirk, following up with a pseudo salute, effectually sending the dudes on their way.
Alone now on the beach, Hudson led Olivia to the cave, which bore the signs of frequent use. The sandy floor was clean and cleared of debris, except for the pile of rounded rocks in the rear, smoothed and carried in by the tides. Kindling and small branches were stacked near the cave’s mouth, a few feet from where the remnants of someone’s fire still sat in a charred circle.
Hudson untied the bedroll and several items fell onto the sand. Another good snap, and the blanket spread across the cave’s entrance. Hudson lowered her gently to the soft fabric. Relief filled her, and she leaned back and nestled into the soft sand. Her sigh brought the hint of a smile to Hudson’s beard-framed lips. It was short-lived. His face slackened as his dark, penetrating eyes fixed on her. His breathing seemed to stop, as did hers. Heat rose deep within her torso, spreading like fire through her face and neck from the intensity of his stare. A sheen of sweat broke out on her skin, and yet she shivered. She touched her face, expecting to feel the fire radiating there, but the motion seemed to break the moment. Without a word, Hudson took her empty water bottle and left, leaving her shaky and confused.
As he departed, she shifted to watch him pick his way through the primitive beauty of the area, around scrub brush, through the teeming tidal pools, to a glorious waterfall spilling from the rock wall.
Robinson Crusoe-esque with his rumpled clothes, his beard, and wild mop of tangled hair, Olivia was unable to tear her eyes from him. Gone was the shyness and gangly motions of his youth. The business titan who could buy or sell his own barrier reef or string of creature-filled islands now moved with confidence and care, as protective of a single mollusk or anemone as he had been as a beach-combing science student a decade ago. She wondered what made him that way. Clearly, the young man who had been everything to her back then was an even more splendid person now.
The all-too-frequent burn of tears hit her again. Pepper had been on the money. Olivia had loved Hudson in college. If only he had been the one to propose instead of… Guilt tore at her over the thought.
Hudson returned and knelt as he handed the water bottle to her, turning away to pore over the items that fell from the bedroll. They both seemed anxious to avoid meeting the other’s eyes. With his back still to her, he spoke in a voice hoarse and low.
“I brought an analgesic cream to … massage into your muscles. It should reduce the pain.” He cleared his throat and added a thought in a stronger, more steadied voice. “Or you could do it.”
Olivia’s own tongue seemed thick as she replied, “I’d appreciate your help.”
With his eyes planted anywhere but on her face, he sat, laying her calves across his bent leg. Gingerly, he slid one of her pant legs well above her knee and squeezed an inch of cream into his hand. In steady, even motions he methodically worked it into her muscles. The press and massage of his strong, warm hands along her knee and behind her thigh sent her heart pounding. Could Hudson feel her reaction? The concern caused her muscles to contract.
“Relax,” he urged softly.
The firm, assured timbre of his voice caused the opposite reaction. Her muscles tensed in waves as images of the past crowded in on her. She set her gaze on the sea and tried to make light of the situation. “I caught the look those surfers gave us. It seems this place has a reputation, and they figured we were adding a new chapter.”
A puff of breath escaped as Hudson chuckled softly in reply. “It’s a family beach by day. But at night?” He shook his head. “I’ve heard some tales. That was never my style.”
The melancholy in his voice caused Olivia to face him. “Did you ever find anyone special?”
Olivia felt the conspicuous halt of his hands. “Are you asking whether or not I’ve been in love?” His onyx eyes rose to meet hers and then held as he said, “Only once,” in a pained whisper that brushed past Olivia’s heart as if on torn butterfly wings.
Hers was not the only heart that had known the ache of rejection. “What happened?”
Having completed the massage of the one leg, he slowly pulled the yoga pants back over her knee and smoothed the creases from the fabric, making eye contact and again holding her gaze like a tractor beam. “Our timing was off.”
The explanation gripped Olivia’s heart until she couldn’t feel the next beat or breath. She considered how many women he had met since her marriage. Beautiful women … women like Pepper. The therapist said things hadn’t worked out, but she had avoided sharing details about her relationship with Hudson. Had their timing been off?
Silence passed between them. Hudson dropped his gaze and returned to his work, raising the fabric of the other pant leg over her knee and working lotion into her sore muscles. Olivia could find no comfortable segue away from the moment. Gratefully, Hudson provided an unusual one.
“Did I ever tell you that my father’s grandparents were Blackfoot Indians?”
She was mesmerized by yet another unknown aspect of this complex man. She shook her head.
“They moved to Alberta, so we didn’t see them often, which suited me just fine when I was young, because they always seemed old and strange and poor. When I was fifteen, I discovered how wrong I’d been. My great-grandfather had passed, and Nuna was ninety-three and not well, so I was sent to spend the summer with her to help out. It changed my life.”
Hudson elevated Olivia’s leg and rubbed circles into a knot in her calf as he continued.
“She didn’t have a lot in the material sense, and what she had frightened me at first. Her home was decorated with strings of beads, tanned pelts, and animal teeth, and she had the skull of an elk nailed to the wall across from her favorite chair.”
“A skull?”
He nodded and smiled. “It scared me every time I entered the room, so I finally asked her about it. She said it was a love token, and that it reminded her of my great-grandfather.”
He smiled as his gaze drifted over her shoulder to a spot on the horizon. Whatever he saw in his mind’s eye caused his eyes to sparkle and glisten.
“According to Nuna, bull elk attract many cows, which they lead to good grass and to sweet water. The cows know their bull will protect them and their calves, even to his own death. These bulls became the symbol of a man’s passion and love for his mate. Like the bull elk, a good man will provide for and protect his mate. He will build her a good tipi and introduce her to his family, where she and her future children will be welcomed and loved.”
Prickles rose on Olivia’s arms. Her eyes misted as Hudson listed every one of her dreams. “Your great-grandfather did those things for your great-grandmother?”
“Yes,” he replied, drawing the word out like a pull of sweet taffy. “Nuna still
felt his love every time she looked at the home he built her or rocked in the chair he made.”
“That’s a beautiful story, Hudson.”
“It became very important to me. Perhaps because it reminds me what we can miss if we don’t make the effort to understand.”
Hudson’s eyes held hers as if he were willing her to comprehend some cryptic message. After giving Olivia’s leg a gentle, final squeeze, he drew the pant leg over her knee and set both of her legs back on the blanket. “Nuna told me I was like her husband, Black Moon. That when I found the right woman, she would see my love in the simple gifts I would bring her, and she would know my heart. I believed that. I may have counted on it too much.”
Biting her lips to still them, Olivia coughed to stay the tremble at her throat. “Did you tell the woman that you loved her?”
His head shook in refute. “People throw the word love around so casually.”
She considered her own desperate need for affirmation from Jeff. “It doesn’t diminish the word’s importance. Women need to hear it. We need those words.”
Hudson’s lips parted as if he were about to speak. Olivia tensed for his rebuttal, but he said nothing verbally. His shoulders drooped, his back rounded, and his neck retracted, bit by bit, until he was sitting back on his heels, thinking deeply, perhaps about what she had said. She felt her bravado weaken in the face of the compassion etched on his face.
“I’m sorry, Liv. You deserved better.”
“So did you, Hudson.” She sat up, rounding over her knees and wrapping her arms around her legs. Her chin moved back and forth across the fabric of her pants as she spoke. “I know we blindsided you. I’m sorry. School was ending. I didn’t know where I belonged, and there Jeff was when I needed to feel loved.” The memory and confession drained her.
She rested her chin on her knees and stared off at the far-reaching sand. “Every instinct told me he was playing me, but the need to be wanted won out. And then he showed up the next day, asking me to marry him. I was so confused. He said the way I kissed him back made him believe I felt the same way. It sounded as if I was the one who had used him. So I did what I thought was right: I accepted his proposal. And in an hour, the trajectory of my entire life changed.”
She looked up, unable to read Hudson’s expression, which seemed as veiled as the sun by clouds gathering off the coastline. The air suddenly changed as the wind kicked up and a low howl broke through the trees. Hudson jumped to his feet. Liv scanned the horizon to see if the gathering clouds had suddenly shifted into thunderheads, but the storm still seemed far off.
“What is it?”
“It’s our ride. I need to signal to them.”
The sound increased as he ran off to the center of the abandoned beach, but Olivia could not see a boat nearing the shore. The wind increased to a gale force, whipping the sand into a cloud around Hudson. She looked up and saw a helicopter arriving from around the cove.
As a basket descended from the chopper, Hudson ran back to her.
“I thought a boat was coming.”
“This seemed the best option. Can you walk, or should I carry you?”
Her attempt to stand proved wobbly at best. “Can I lean on you?”
He spread his arm again, welcoming her in. Their eyes locked, and heat spread from her heart to her limbs. She forced her mind to put his kindness back into perspective. She needed help. Helping is what Hudson loved. She gathered more strength and independence as they made their way to the gurney-like basket.
Hudson helped her in and then signaled for the pilot to pull it up.
Panic set in when she began to rise. “You’re coming too, aren’t you?”
“I’ll be right behind you.”
Her hand gripped the edge of the basket, and Hudson’s hand slipped over hers, causing the same firestorm to swell within her. He held on until he could no longer reach her.
“You’ll be all right,” he assured. “I’ll see you at the top.”
Fifteen minutes later, after a quick flight, they landed in a parking lot, where a limo waited to drive them home. Hudson limped more than walked by the time Olivia was settled in the house. She sat on the sofa and studied him. “You’re exhausted. Go to bed. Use the sunshine room. You need to sleep.”
He eyed her curiously, as if considering the offer. A moment later, he fell against a doorjamb and rubbed his eyes. “I can’t. The driver is going to take me back to the pull-off at Short Sands to get my car. Stay here and rest. Promise?”
“I promise.” The sight of him opening the door saddened her. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
He bit his lip as he thought. “Not tomorrow. Not for a few weeks, actually. I’m late for a technology summit in Tokyo, and then I’m off to Europe, but I’ll be in touch to make sure you’re keeping your word.”
“Wait, wait!” she called out before the door closed behind him. “Are you saying you abandoned your schedule and flew halfway across the world to rescue me?”
He shrugged and shot her a lopsided smile.
The depth of his sacrifice began sinking in, and it overwhelmed her. “Your great-grandmother would be very proud of you. You are the man she said you’d be.” Her eyes began to burn. “In case I haven’t said it plainly enough, I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you. You weren’t responsible for my regrets and unhappiness. My choices were. I hope you find your perfect match, that woman who understands your heart. She will be one very lucky woman.”
Hudson stopped, his head tipping to the side as if considering her comment. He eyed her curiously from that spot as the storm returned to his eyes. Olivia caught herself leaning forward, willing him back in.
“What are your regrets, Liv?”
His voice was like suede, soft and masculine, inviting and warm. Losing Hudson was her greatest regret. She began there, unwinding that truth back to the reason she filed the lawsuit against him.
“I’ve told you about my childhood; how my mother attached herself to men she didn’t love, all for security. She finally ended up marrying one my junior year. It was demoralizing. I always felt like a guest in that house, and I told myself I’d never be like her. That’s why I wanted to get an education as far away from Diane as possible. But I ended up making the same spirit-crushing choices.”
“You call your mother Diane?”
“We weren’t like your family, Hudson, but I so wanted that dream. I attached myself to you, but I felt things changing between us near the end of our senior year, and there was Jeff.” She looked away again. “In a knee-jerk reaction, after everything I’d done to be different from Diane, I ended up marrying a man I didn’t love for security. But, here’s the crazy part. I stayed with him to prove I wasn’t like my man-hopping mother.” She wiped at her eyes.
“I also regret drawing you deeper into my mess. I did something else that’s going to complicate your life.” She drew a deep breath and carried on. “Jeff made it clear early on that he didn’t want children, but I was desperate to have something … someone to love. There was such distance between us. I didn’t take any precautions—”
“And then, that distance narrowed.”
His crass assessment of her child’s conception stung her deeply. “Please don’t look at me that way. The baby was very wanted by me.”
Hudson slowly crossed the room to her, his steps labored as if he were slogging through mud. He sat on the opposite end of the sofa, leaning forward, avoiding eye contact. With his forearms resting on his thighs, his hands dangled in the space between his knees. His entire body seemed wired. “I, of all people, would never judge someone else for wanting desperately to be loved, but—”
“You …?” She scoffed. “Please. I’ve seen your photo on the cover of those gossip rags. What was the last headline? Weren’t you named the man women most want to date? You’re single by choice. You have no idea how lonely life can be.”
His neck crooked at an angle as he shot her a quick, incredulous glance. “By choice?
You think I had all the choices?” His voice was sharp and pained. He swore under his breath and stood, pacing to the door and back before turning toward her. “You can’t absolve yourself of the damage you cause others by saying you just reacted.”
Her head drew back. “What?”
“A guy who barely had a kind word to say to you in four years swept you off your feet in one night. That reaction was also a choice, Liv. A stupid one, but still a choice. And did you think to ask him if he wanted children? And when he refused to give you a family, did you leave? Staying was a choice. Did you wake up every day and choose to be miserable?”
“You don’t know anything about my life.”
“Only what you’ve told me, but I don’t see where things have changed all that much.”
“Wha—?” It was more a wounded groan than a word.
“When you found out you were pregnant, did you bother to see a doctor or did you just hope it would all work out?”
“How dare you!” She flew out of her seat and drew her hand back to slap Hudson, but he caught her wrist and held it firmly.
His eyes shone with pain. “What happened to you? What happened to us?”
“There never was an us. All I ever needed was a word from you, but you loved my work more than you loved me.”
She spewed the words like acid, intending to inflict pain, and she knew she succeeded. He released her wrists and dropped his arms as he backed up a step.
“We were at least friends. I know about the lawsuit. Why? You said you blamed me. For what?”
Feeling as if she had gone nine rounds with a heavyweight, she dropped into a chair and curled over her folded arms, hiding her face. “I was desperate to give my child a better home than I had. A more stable life than the one Jeff and I were living. You wouldn’t understand.”
Leaning into the doorjamb, Hudson’s voice cracked as he spoke. “You’re the one who never understood. You said the woman I’d love would be lucky. That was supposed to be you.”
She lifted her head enough to see him as a soft gasp escaped.
“I shared everything I treasured with you—my family, my home, my dreams, my heart. They were my expressions of love, but you threw them aside for a dance and a few well-chosen words.” His voice broke with a sad laugh. “And the worst part is… they weren’t even Jeff’s.”
A SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE BOXED SET Page 43