by Hollye Davis
“So I guess this is a stop to the nights over at the awesome cottage.” Kim sounded down, as if Edwin coming back would affect their relationship.
“No way, we’ll figure out something. I will have aunt help me clean out the guest room. I love ya and all, but there is no way you will sleep with me AND Edwin”
They both laughed.
After she got off the phone with Kim, she realized she was starving. Rising off the couch, she walked to the kitchen to prepare for supper. The smell of her cooking permeated the cottage and before long Edwin’s arms surrounded her from behind as he nibbled her neck,
“Hallo love.”
“The last time you kissed me while I cooked I burned breakfast.” His laugh was muffled as he continued his trail of kisses down to her collarbone.
“I’ve missed you so much. I can’t seem to stay away from you.” She patted his hands around her stomach, “Then don’t.”
He sighed. It wasn’t a good sigh.
“Unfortunately, things are getting…um… busier, and I will have a tighter schedule but I will try to get home every night.”
“Oh.” She looked down at the pot she was stirring, “I hate school and obligations. Can’t we rewind and go back to summer?”
“Yeah, but we all need school, it’s a necessary evil.”
“I know you’re right, but it doesn’t make it any less sucky.”
“Yes, love, I know, believe me I know.” Edwin was still holding her when her aunt entered the kitchen. Cloe watched as aunt’s expression finally registered who was holding her.
“Oh! Well…it’s good to see you! When did you get in?” Edwin turned toward her aunt giving her a hug.
“About an hour before I picked Cloe up from school,” he answered with a small kind smile.
Aunt didn’t return it. Instead she turned toward the refrigerator to pull out a cranberry drink. Cloe watched knowing her aunt was distracted and worried. She was about to ask her what was wrong when aunt said after seating herself at the kitchen table, “Well there is just no good way to say this so I am going to say it quickly.” She glanced at her and said, “Cloe, I’m afraid your grandmother took a turn for the worse. They don’t think she is going to make it much longer. Your father cannot be found and you are her only other living relative. They have asked for you and me to come down and settle everything. The problem is that I can’t right now. One of my brats is having a movie premier and I am contractually bound.” Cloe saw the guilt and regret in aunt’s eyes as she continued, “I have contacted a very good friend I grew up with that lives near you. In fact you probably know her son, Cameron.”
Cloe nodded, she remembered Cameron but the last time she saw him was when they were 12.
“She’s going to help you settle everything. Apparently, you are the heir to your grandparents estate, or what is left of it.”
Edwin paced, he was outwardly upset, “How long is this going to take?”
Aunt answered, “I’m hoping just a week, since school and all.”
Edwin purposely turned, walked out to the deck, closing the door behind him to presumably make a phone call. Aunt and her exchanged looks not sure how to interpret his reaction.
Cloe removed the food from the stove, walked over and sat down. How was she supposed to feel? Her grandmother raised her for most of her life but there wasn’t love there. She was treated as labor on the farm, free help. Her grandmother never told her she loved her nor never touched her or hugged her. When Grandfather died she physically abused her, blamed her. What did she feel? Should she be grateful for the farm and take it as a sign of love or was it a payment for years of servitude? Kind of like what some of the slave owners did to the slaves when they had been freed. Or maybe it was lack of having no one else to give it to. They had known that her father would just sell it to the first bid that came to him. She also knew her grandparents never forgave him for running off with her mother.
Scratching her head, trying to push aside the negative thought that it was probably full of debt and this was a way from grandmother to reach past the grave to abuse her.
All her thoughts came to an end as Edwin stepped in from outside with a grim face. His eyes spoke of the same sorrow and guilt her aunt’s had, “I want to come with you Cloe, I really do, but it is impossible for me right now. I’m so sorry.” He came over and kissed her on the forehead. Her heart sank further, she must face this alone.
I was leaving on Monday, which gave me two days to prepare. I didn’t want to prepare, I just wanted to spend every second with Edwin. Edwin did his best to be around as much as possible but he said that his obligations were getting heavier with what I assume was his father’s business. I was really sick of his obligations and sometimes I wanted to demand what they were. I was tired of being left in the dark but because I was heading to Texas on Monday I didn’t want to start an argument. It could wait until I got back but I was determined to get some answers. –Cloe’s diary
Chapter 10 Two Short Days On Saturday her aunt brought in a brand new set of luggage. She wanted to be grateful but it was hard when she didn’t want to go at all.
“There was no way I was going to let you travel with those disgusting things you brought here. They’re embarrassing,” her aunt explained.
“Aunt you are going to have to stop buying me things”
“No, I don’t. You are the closest thing I have to a daughter and I can spoil you as much as I want.”
“No you can’t! I can’t in good conscious continue to take and give nothing!”
“Give nothing? Oh Cloe, You don’t get it do you? You give me so much. I know I’m not around a lot but you’ve no idea how nice it is to come home and have you here. I feel like I have a purpose and that I am doing something right for the first time. You don’t understand how much I needed that. Life is empty if you don’t have someone you love to share it with you. I love you more than anything Cloe, allow me to share, please.”
Cloe put her head down trying to hide her tears. She didn’t know that Aunt was as desperate as her to be loved, but she was, “Okay Aunt, just this one time,” she acquiesced tearfully. That night the fire gang came back with music and all. She felt rusty but otherwise fell right into step with everyone else.
When she and Edwin had arrived, Edwin explained about Cloe’s grandmother. They all gave the appropriate words of sympathy at the same time they looked worriedly at Edwin. Edwin reassured him that he would be okay this time since it was only one more week apart. It surprised her that their friends were so worried about Edwin, but they were.
When they got back to the cottage it was nearly light outside. She was so very happy to have him come to her room and sleep the morning away, to make love again and sleep some more. Sunday night she became angry at picking things out to pack. She threw a box out of her closet that had gotten in her way, narrowly missing Edwin lounging on the bed. She muttered a few cuss words when she stumped her toe in the process.
Edwin stepped into the closest, folded her into a embrace, “It’s going to be all right.” He whispered, “I wish I could come, I feel like I’ve let you down a lot lately.”
She shrugged, “Its no matter, what can you do anyway?” She moved out of his arms and picked up the box and placed it back on the shelf. She knew was being unfair but she was angry. She was angry that she had to leave him after just a few days together. She was angry that he couldn’t join her, which was selfish. Damn, when did she turn into a spoiled selfish brat who throws fits? She dropped her head in shame. She looked back up at him and he was just looking off at her box in the corner that she occasionally stuff things into.
“I’m sorry, that was wrong of me. I’m just upset about everything. I don’t mean to be a brat,” she walked up to him placing her palm on his chest.
Edwin looked at her, his eyes sad, “Don’t apologize, you have the right, I haven’t been upfront about everything and you are under a lot of stress. When you get back we need to talk.”
T
hen he walked out of the closet. She sat down. Oh God he isn’t going to break up with her is he? It would serve her right, it really would.
I boarded the plane in a new outfit her aunt had gave me. She said if I presented myself correctly people would treat me accordingly. So I was sure I was in some high priced number and expensive shoes. She made me take extra time on my hair so that it would shine and each curl would look natural and perfect. I brought my large sunglasses Sandra had given me because she said they looked better on me than her. I rolled my eyes - Sandra is happiest when she has an excuse to buy something. I was shiny and new looking but I felt like a hag. –Cloe’s diary
Chapter 11 Texas Bound She wasn’t even surprised that she had a first class ticket. If aunt didn’t do it, Edwin would have made sure of it. She didn’t even complain. What difference does it make? She’d just waste her breath on the two of them anyway.
The difference between this plane ride and the one she took in March was the difference between night and day. Although her stomach hurt, it wasn’t as severe as it was back then. She wasn’t crammed in a middle seat stuck next to an unaccompanied 11-year-old who had plane sickness either.
The flight was short but she guessed any flight was short compared to Germany. She got off the plane in Austin walking down the wide gapping halls, it has been a long time since she had been here, a lifetime really. Austin was a small airport with only two escalators to the baggage claim, which makes it easy to find the people waiting for you.
She headed toward the baggage claim area when a tentative tap on her shoulder turned her around,
“Cloe, is that you?” A lady of similar age of her aunt with soft brown shoulder length hair and soft brown eyes was standing waiting anxiously behind her. She recognized her as Cameron’s mother immediately even though she had only met her a few times while growing up.
“Mrs. Schwertner?”
“Oh IT IS you! My goodness, you are positively stunning and Claire must be doing very well indeed, you look as if you stepped out of a magazine!”
She smiled a little taken back by the overly overstated compliments. Cloe’s gaze sifted to the boy next to her and smiled. He had grown a bit taller than her, he was more handsome but he was obviously Cameron.
Cloe thrust out her hand to Cameron and said, “So good to see you.” He ignored her outstretched hand and gave her a hug instead.
“Here in Texas we give hugs.” He was right of course and she hugged him back.
It was a 45-minute drive north to the Schwertner’s ranch. She sucked in the scenery like a water-starved camel. She sighed in contentment. If she could just move the beach and cottage somewhere around here she would be completely content.
“Have you missed Texas Cloe?” Mrs. Schwertner asked.
“Yes, it is so beautiful and spacious here. You have no idea how crowded LA and surrounded areas are. We live on a private beach in a gated community so it isn’t so bad. But at school there are so many people. It’s overwhelming.” Cloe smiled at her.
“You aren’t the Cloe I remember. When you left here for Germany there were so many rumors. A lot of people didn’t think you would make it.”
Make it? She wondered what that meant.
“Do you want me to take you to your grandmother right now?” Mrs. Schwertner suddenly asked.
No, Cloe didn’t wanted to see her grandmother, ever, but she didn’t want to tell Mrs. Schwertner because it might be misconstrued as rude or inhuman.
So instead Cloe pushed the words out of her throat and answered, “Sure.” She might as well get the obligation over with.
It wasn’t long before Mrs. Schwertner pulled into the local nursing home. For such a small run-down town, the nursing home was in decent shape. Cloe viewed the elderly moving around slowly, meandering to unknown destinations. So this is where Grandmother had been living for the past few years. She vaguely remembered coming here once when Cloe realized that she couldn’t take care of herself much less her grandmother.
Trepidation strummed through her the closer they got to her grandmother’s room. What is she going to say to her? What was there to say? However, when they finally arrived there her questions would be forever unanswered.
Mrs. Schwertner and Cloe stared at an empty bed wondering where a fatally ill person would go, when a nurse arrived inquiring who they were.
When Mrs. Schwertner explained that Cloe was here to see her grandmother and pointed to the empty bed, the nurse’s face went pale.
“I’m sorry, but your grandmother passed this morning. They have removed her body to the funeral home.”
Cloe’s first thought was she sure would hate having the nurses job to explain this to someone. But after that initial thought, she become blank not really feeling or thinking anything. Was this shock? Even if it was shouldn’t she cry? Shouldn’t she do something? No emotions came. It was weird. Is this what she was? Was she this uncaring to not even flinch when someone tells her very own grandmother has passed? The one who raised her for over 16 years of her life?
Mrs. Schwertner put a hand on her shoulder and said something to the effect that maybe they should go. Cloe nodded, turned and walked out of the nursing home that meant nothing more to her.
Mrs. Schwertner asked quietly if Cloe would like to visit the funeral home. No. No that was the last thing she wanted and so she shook her head, still incapable of speech. Mrs. Schwertner nodded and pulled out of the driveway toward their ranch.
Schwertner ranch was large cattle farm with a house situated on a man-made lake the shape of Texas. It was as familiar to her as her own farm. When she was younger, full of life, she spent many weekends riding horses with Cameron.
She watched Cameron as he pulled her bags out of the back of the pick-up and disappeared inside the house.
She, however, went to the front rocker and sat. She intended to sit there for just a minute, sucking in the cool fall air but when the sun began to set she knew it had been longer.
Rocking back and forth, absorbing the sounds of the bleating cows, until her phone rang stopping her rocking mid-stride.
“Hi,” She spoke softly.
“You sound down,” Edwin said concerned.
“My Grandmother died right before I got here.”
“Oh darling, I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know how I feel about it. Shouldn’t I be crying or something? Shouldn’t I feel something? I feel nothing. It’s as if it is no consequence. How can I be so cold?”
“You’re probably in shock,” he reasoned.
“No, I think I’m a monster.”
“Cloe, you aren’t a monster. You have had a shock.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” but she didn’t believe him.
“How’s Texas?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s beautiful as always. I should try to bottle the air or something. I do love Texas, but I love the beach too. It’s as if I am split between the two.”
“I understand. Sometimes going back to England I feel the exact same way. Except this time, all I could think about is I didn’t want to be anywhere you aren’t.”
She smiled looking down at her hands suddenly very happy, “Yes, I couldn’t have put it better. I feel that way too.”
“Good.”
She could hear the smile in his voice.
Cameron came out and said that it was time for dinner.
“Who is that?” Edwin asked with false cheerfulness.
“That was Cameron, I went to school with him until I was 12, after that his mother put him in private school.”
He was silent a moment, “Maybe I should cancel some things and try to be there.”
She laughed at his jealousy, “No, don’t worry Edwin. I’m fine, I can take care of myself. Besides, now that I’m here, well I need to do this on my own. Okay?”
“Damn Cloe, I want to be there for you, you do understand that? It’s killing me but if I left I would break a contract and our future will be jeopardized.”
She was
silent for a moment, confused by his statement. She couldn’t ask to clarify because Mrs. Schwertner peeked her head out prompting her to say goodbye to Edwin. She would try to call him later, get more answers but for now she needed to eat. Standing from the chair, she walked inside and followed Mrs. Schwertner to the eat-in kitchen. Smells of wonderful country cooking assaulted her nose.
Chicken fried steak, mash potatoes, and gravy was the perfect homecoming meal. She hadn’t made that for Edwin and asked Mrs. Schwernter some tips on how to make it.
Mrs. Schwertner commented, “Claire tells her that you are a very talented cook.”
“It’s the one and only thing that I can do well,” Cloe admitted.
Cameron then said, “If I remember correctly you’re quite the horseback rider, but of course you being in California, I’m sure you haven’t ridden all that much.”
“Oh…no, I ride all the time on the beach. I have a black gelding Quarter horse named Bear. There is a stable in our community where a good friend of mine, Cole runs it. He’s from Tyler of all places!”
Cameron thought about that a minute and then said, “Well why don’t we take a ride after dinner?”
That was exactly what she needed to jolt her senses back in order. Maybe after the ride she could properly mourn for a grandmother who was little more to her than a boss at a labor house. She nodded at Cameron as she took another bite of Mrs. Schwertner’s delicious meal.
After dinner, Mrs. Schwertner escorted her to the guest room where she pulled out a pair of snug designer jeans and her cowboy boots.
When she walked out to the living room Cameron whistled, “Man, they should make those jeans illegal.”
He turned and walked out. Mrs. Schwertner laughed out loud. She shook her head and followed Cameron out to the barn.
They went riding through the cow fields down to the creek where trees were abundant. There was a worn cow path that led us through the shallow side of the creek. Cameron stopped and dismounted in the thick of the low trees and held his hand out for her reigns. When she got down she looked at him questionably. He only smiled, not offering an explanation.