by Talia Jager
A couple days later, Connor knocked on my door while I was doing homework. “Hey, what’s up?” I sat up.
He sat down next to me on my bed. “I called the camp. They emailed me all the forms to fill out. After explaining our situation, they said they could help with the cost. It would cost us half of the normal price. She said they often take kids for two sessions if they have the room. She also said that being as old as you are, you might be able to help out as a counselor the second session.”
“Did you mention that I’ve never been alone?”
“Yes. I pretty much told them everything. They said you’d never be alone. Not as a camper and not as a counselor. I had to get a form filled out from your doctor explaining your seizures and giving permission for you to go. I filled out the rest of the papers today, so if you’re sure, I’ll fax them in tomorrow.”
“I’m sure. Go ahead.”
He nodded. “Okay.” He tousled my hair and left the room.
I got online and checked my email. Sure enough, there were emails from Lainey and Zander. Zander’s read: “Great idea. I’ll call them today.” Lainey’s read: “That would be so awesome. I’ll talk to my parents now.”
I emailed them again. “Connor got the papers. We’re sending them back tomorrow. I’m in for one maybe two sessions. Let me know. Teagan.”
I waited patiently for responses all night and all day. Finally, the next day, I got emails. “Talked to the camp, they were excited I wanted to come back. I just have to fill out the paperwork they sent me,” Zander said.
“Hey guys. My parents said yes! I made them feel guilty about all the fighting they’ve been doing lately around me and how depressed I was. They sent the papers in today! Mom said they were short counselors and maybe if I liked it, that they could use me in the next session too! I’d have to get a little bit of training but it’s something I could do during the first session. Great idea Teagan! If we all get in… that would be so cool. I am trying not to get too hopeful. Gotta run. Lainey.”
I smiled. I was getting excited. I could only hope that it would work out.
* * *
It was getting near the end of the school year. I was elated that I hadn’t had seizures every week. I still had some absence seizures every day. But, they didn’t bother me too much. Anything I missed, somebody would help me with. I didn’t need to study much for my finals. The hardest part would be to sit there without a break. I went to talk to Mrs. Tavi. “What can I do for you, Teagan?” she asked.
“I’m worried about the finals. I know the stuff, but how the tests are given might be hard for me. Is there any way to take them somewhere else?” I asked.
She nodded, taking off her glasses. “Of course. We have a smaller classroom that is used for kids who can’t take tests in a normal environment. I could put you in there.”
“That would be great!” I smiled. “Even with absence seizures I should be able to finish it without a problem. I know I’m going to need a break and sitting in that large room for so long will be a problem.”
“I will let everyone know,” she promised.
“Thank you.”
* * *
In late May, my camp papers came. A note came along with it saying they would either put me in as a camper or a counselor the second session. It said that if I was a camper that payment would be due at the beginning of the second session. The camp was about three hours away. Directions and lists of what was needed were included in the papers.
I got online, but before I could type my email, I got one from Lainey saying that she got her papers today too. I replied telling them both that I, too, got my papers. Now, we were just waiting to hear from the camp about Zander’s job.
In early June, it was time to take all my exams. Mrs. Tavi had me put in a small room. There were nine other students in there. “It is time to begin,” the teacher said. “There is no time limit. Take all the time you need. If you need anything, raise your hand. You are allowed to go to the bathroom or take a drink as long as one of us goes with you.” She pointed to the aides in the room. “Go ahead and start.”
I didn’t have a problem with the questions. There were a few I wasn’t sure about. I knew I had a few seizures because all of a sudden my pencil had moved or I had dropped it. Luckily, nobody else had noticed. I did the math and English tests the first day. The second day I had social studies and science. And the third day, I had foreign language. Computer and gym class had already given their finals.
I was thrilled to be done. The summer awaited me. It was nice to have the summer off. Mom never let me have that. She cut down on the hours of school, but never let me have a full summer vacation. She never enrolled me in camp either. Now, I had a chance to go and have fun with other kids like me.
Mandi and Maddie were waiting for me after my last exam. “Hey Teagan, how did you do?”
“Alright. They weren’t too hard,” I said. “How about you guys?”
“I think I did okay,” Mandi said.
“Me too,” Maddie agreed.
“So, what’s up for the summer?” Mandi asked.
“Actually, I’m going to camp.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s a camp for kids with epilepsy,” I explained.
“Oh, do you go every year?”
“No, this is my first time. Connor and Kate have to work and I can’t be alone, so being there will help them out. At least for a big part of the summer, people who know what they’re dealing with will look after me and they can have some time alone. After that, I don’t know what they’ll do. They talked about hiring somebody. I’m seventeen and I need a babysitter.” I laughed. “Anyway, I can’t wait to go. To be with other kids like me.”
“Well, we like you even though we’re not like you,” Mandi said.
I smiled. “I know. I like you guys too. I’ve just never known someone my age who has epilepsy.”
“When do you leave?” Maddie asked.
“Sunday,” I answered.
“Will you call us when you get back?”
“Of course!”
We all hugged and I got into the car with Kate. “Are you excited?”
“Yeah!” I said. “I never thought I’d like the last day of school so much.”
“You ready for this camp experience?”
“I am!”
As soon as I got home, I checked my email. There was one from Zander and all it said was: “I got it!” I laughed and wrote back. “Congratulations! I can’t wait to see you both. It’s only five days away!”
Connor took off the rest of the week to be with me. He took me to a movie and out for ice cream. It was fun doing things with him. We sat and talked about our lives one morning. “You know, when you were born, I was jealous.”
“Of me?” I laughed.
“Yes. You got all this attention. You were the baby and everyone loved you. I felt so left out. And then one day, I went to your crib and you looked up at me with those big eyes of yours. It melted my heart, right then at six years old! You held my finger so tight. I was hooked then.” He laughed. “Once I wasn’t so jealous anymore, it felt like I was getting more attention. Then you had to go and get sick.”
I laughed. “I knew you were going to bring that up.”
He laughed with me. “You already had my heart, Teagan. And watching you go through this for your whole life breaks my heart. I wish I could find the cure for it. Heck, I just wish I could find some medication that works for you. I hope this camp helps somehow.”
“It will.” I smiled. “There will be other people there like me.”
“You’re not so different… I don’t want you to think I’m sending you away.”
I laughed. “Connor, it was my idea. I like the idea of going! I want to.”
“I know. I remember when people would ask Mom and Dad if they were going to put you away and they would always say they would never send you away.”
“That’s different. This is camp,” I said
. Then more quietly, “People really asked that?”
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“Did they ever consider it?” I asked.
He looked over at me. “NO! Well, not that I know of. I was just a kid then. But, as far as I remember that was never brought up.”
“Sometimes I read the history of epilepsy. It’s so scary what they used to do to people with it. I can’t imagine living in those times.”
“Yeah. Do you remember when I was about twelve and I was on the tire swing. I got dizzy and fell over. You ran over to me and asked me if I had a seizure.”
“Really? I don’t remember that.”
“Yeah. That was all you knew. It was your life. So, when I did that, you thought it was a seizure.”
“I miss Mom. I miss hearing her stories,” I said, my eyes moist. “I mean… I love your stories. But, I miss hers. I loved hearing about Ireland.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“When you first met Kate, what was it like?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Were you friends? Was it love at first sight?”
He smiled. “Maybe both. We were young when we met and we were friends and then we both… well we hit puberty.” He laughed. “Then I noticed her as a real girl and fell in love with her.”
“When did you first bring her home?”
“Mom and Dad had met her before at school. But, I guess it was after we were going out a while. I told them I had a girlfriend and they told me to bring her to the house. It wasn’t weird. It felt very normal introducing her to them. They liked her right away.”
“Did I like her?”
“Yeah. I think you looked up to her a lot.”
“I still do.”
“She liked you. Even though sometimes you’d pop up when we didn’t want anybody around.” He laughed again.
“What I really liked,” Kate said, walking in, “was how loving he was towards you. My brother was never like that. Connor adored his little sister.”
He smiled. “Yup.”
“So when did you guys know you wanted to get married?”
“I always knew.” Kate smiled and kissed Connor. “He was the one I wanted. But, I was still a kid. It wasn’t until after high school that we started talking about what we wanted.”
“And a year later, I proposed.”
“It’s so sweet,” I teased. “Childhood friends grow into an old married couple.”
Connor threw a pillow at me. “I’m not old!”
I turned to Kate. “Did it bother you to find out about me?”
“No.”
“Not at all? Did your family try to get you to stay away?”
She shook her head. “No Teagan. Maybe it’s because I knew you when you were little. Your epilepsy never bothered me or made me rethink anything. Maybe it’s a bad thing – how I think of it – it’s who you were, it’s who you are now. Sure, it was a little weird seeing you have seizures. It definitely took getting used not wanting to call 911 or try and stop the seizure. It was even funny trying to have a conversation when you would just stop talking.” She giggled. “But, it never made me not want to marry Connor or be part of your family. As far as my family was concerned, I told them right away. They have never made any comments to me about it.”
I smiled. “It’s nice to hear this stuff.”
“You don’t remember a lot of it?”
“No. I remember you being there. But, I don’t remember details. I remember stories Mom would tell me and from that I can picture what happened. I wish I could remember more. Maybe that would help me now. Once I was old enough to realize I couldn’t remember anything, I started keeping a diary. That way, I could look back and remember something,” I told her.
“That’s a good idea.”
“Thanks for talking about all this stuff. It’s neat to hear the stories. I think I’m going to go write some of it down, so I can remember in a few years,” I smiled and got up. I went to my room and did just that.
Chapter Fourteen
On Saturday, we all went to play miniature golf. Next door was a park and we went there to swing on the swings. When we got home from the park, I did my packing. I tried to pack enough to get me through a month. Connor went to the pharmacy and picked up all the medications I’d need. “Bring your cell phone, just in case you need it to get in touch with us,” Connor said. I got all packed up and we loaded the car up. “Ready,” he asked me.
I nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“You sure about this?”
“Yes.”
We all got in the car and drove the three hours to the camp. After turning around a couple times, we made it. As we drove up, I looked around. There were a lot of families and kids. The camp was for kids in grade four and up. Connor parked the car and we all got out.
There were a bunch of tables with different people sitting at them. We went up to the first table, which was registration and signed in. The next table was to double-check that all the papers had been turned in and payments had been made. We made our way down the line. Near the end were a doctor and nurse. “Hello! I’m Dr. Ben. I am the neurologist on staff.” We all shook hands.
“My name is Pam and I’m the nurse. I am here twenty-four hours a day. I will be the one giving out meds, handling seizures, calling the doctor and so on,” she said. “You are?”
“Teagan Kavanagh.”
She shuffled through the folders in front of her. “Here you are. You have tonic-clonic and absence seizures?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Uncontrolled?” she asked.
“They’ve been better lately,” Connor said. “But, she still has absence seizures daily and tonic-clonic seizures every couple weeks.”
“Okay, do you have the medications?”
“Yes.” Connor handed her the bag. They signed some papers and she led us into her cabin where we watched her put the medicine away.
Next was the welcome assembly. I kept looking around for Lainey or Zander. I didn’t see anyone like the pictures I had. “Everything okay?” Kate asked.
“Yeah, just a little nervous,” I answered.
A whole bunch of people got up and introduced themselves. Most of the staff had epilepsy or had a family member with it. Others were just very knowledgeable. They talked about procedures. They talked about first aid, how they handle medications, sleeping arrangements, eating, and most importantly safety.
They had enough staff members for there to be a 2:1 ratio, lots of counselors to take care of the kids if something happened. The cabins slept six, two counselors and four campers. At the end, a guy named Mr. Dean dismissed everyone. “Please say your goodbyes and campers, meet by the flagpole.”
We got up and I hugged Kate and then Connor. “Thank you for letting me come here.”
“I think we should be the ones thanking you,” Connor replied.
“We’ll all get something out of this,” I said. “Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. These people know what they’re doing. And look how beautiful this place is!”
They nodded with tears in their eyes. “If you need anything, you call.”
“I will,” I promised. “And you two make sure to get some time for yourselves. You deserve it.”
Connor was very reluctant to leave. I hugged him again. “I love you, Teagan.”
“I love you too, Connor.”
Slowly, he walked away. I stood there and watched them for a minute. Then I smiled and turned around. Camp awaited me. My friends were in there somewhere and I was going to find them.
I walked to the flagpole. There were counselors lined up with what appeared to be some sort of list. First you had to stop at a table and give your name. “Teagan Kavanagh.” I said.
A girl who had already passed through spun around with a huge smile on her face. The lady handed me a name tag and let me go through. The girl came running up to me, “Are you really Teagan?” she asked like I was some sort of celebri
ty.
“Yeah. Lainey?” I asked. She nodded and threw her arms around me. It was the best hug ever. “I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you!” She had long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her eyes were a light brown. She wore earrings and of course a medical alert bracelet.
“I know,” she said. “This is great!” We hugged again. “Have you found Zander yet?”
“No, but since he’s here as a counselor, I’m not sure we’ll get to see him too much,” I said. I smiled. “It feels so weird – and so right – to be here. Look at all the people here.”
Lainey looked around. “I know and they all have seizures. It’s like for the first time I realize I’m not the only one.”
“Me too. Sometimes I would think maybe I made you up in my head.” I laughed.
She laughed too. “I know what you mean.”
“Attention campers!” A voice said over the loudspeaker. “Please listen up as your name is called. When you hear it, go to the counselor and get your cabin number assignment.”
Everyone quieted down. Counselors started calling out names. It took a while and then I heard mine, I went up and got my paper. A few minutes later, Lainey’s name was called. She came back beaming. “We got the same cabin!” she whispered excitedly.
“Woot!” I smiled.
Once everyone was done, the counselors waved us to our groups. Lainey and I went to ours. A female counselor stood smiling; her strawberry blonde hair was blowing in the light wind. “Hi! Come on over.” There were six of us standing there. “My name is Meg, I’m one of your counselors.”
“And I’m Gabby. I’m the other counselor,” she said smiling. She had black hair, cut real short.
“Do you guys want to introduce yourselves?” Meg asked.
One girl nodded. “My name is Rylee.” She had soft looking brown hair and dainty features.
The blonde girl said, “My name is Peyton.”
“I’m Lainey.”
“And I’m Teagan.”
The counselor smiled. “We sure have some unique names in our group. Why don’t you all get your stuff together and meet me at our cabin. It’s up that path there.” She pointed. “Third one on the right.”