by N. R. Walker
Hennessy smiled and let out the mother of all breaths. He looked up at the sky and shook his head, and I thought for sure I’d blown it.
I’d crossed a line and said I wanted something he won’t do… I pulled my hand away and stood up, wanting to leave but not sure my feet would take me. “I’m sorry. Was it the kissing? Do you not like that? Or the idea of sleeping in on Sundays? I mean, not the actual sleeping in part, but the sleeping in the same bed part.”
He stood up too and grabbed my arm. “God no. Jordan, everything you said, all those things, it was like you read my list of what I want. Everything, exactly as you said it.”
“You like kissing?”
“Very much.”
“And hugging?”
“Can fix a wounded soul.”
For some stupid reason, my eyes got all watery and my heart was trying to trample its way out of my ribcage. “Really?”
He nodded. “Can I kiss you right now? Because I sure would like to kiss you.”
I could barely nod, and he put his hand to my cheek and slowly cupped my jaw. His thumb scraped along my scruff and he smiled before he leaned in real slow. It was that moment before the kiss, where you’re sure your heart will pop or your lungs will squeeze too hard, and the butterflies are in a flurry. That perfect pre-kiss moment, where he’s close enough that I can see just how beautiful his irises are, and the warmth of his palm on my cheek is keeping me from floating away. His lips, so close they almost touched mine, the barest hint of touch made me gasp, and my heart rate kicked it up a gear, and then he did it. He pressed his lips to mine, soft and warm and slightly open, and his other hand cupped my jaw, and he kissed me so perfectly, all I could do was melt into him.
The most perfect kiss.
He pulled away all too soon and I almost fell forward. He caught me and chuckled. “You okay?”
“I’m um… that was… wow,” I put my hand to my forehead, then took Hennessy’s hand, and sliding it inside my coat, I held it over my heart. “Can you feel that?”
My heart was hammering so goddamn fast he had to be able to feel it.
He sucked back a breath, his eyes grew dark and intense, his pink lips parted, and he nodded. “I can.”
“That’s what you do to me.”
He smiled then and leaned in again, pressing his lips to mine one more time. Chaste and sweet and so utterly perfect. “I’m so glad we’re on the same page,” he said, his hand still to my chest, he slid it up to my neck, his thumb tracing my cheekbone. “It’s a relief I can’t even describe.”
“Me too. Merry will be over the moon, and Angus will be pleased too. Though I will admit, he said if I found out today you weren’t into the same things as me, that we would spend all day tomorrow watching Pride and Prejudice, eating pizza, and drinking beer. And I’m not gonna lie, that sounded pretty damn good.”
Hennessy took my hand and we started to walk again. “There’s no reason we can’t do that.”
“Really? You would do that? Pride and Prejudice? I mean, I’m almost certain it bores Angus to tears, but he said he’d do it if it made me feel better.”
Now he laughed. “Well, Angus sounds like a helluva good friend, and yes I would totally watch it. I do prefer Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, though Matthew Macfadyen gets an honourable mention for his voice alone.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “Okay, you win. All the awards. All the points. This date is now a full ten stars on a scale of one to the best second date ever in the existence of dates.”
Hennessy barked out a laugh. “And it’s not even over yet.”
“We may need to modify the rating system. I have a feeling ten isn’t going to be high enough. Though it might depend if the date includes dinner. There is a slight chance it could go horribly wrong, though I’m highly doubtful it will.”
“There’s a small Hungarian restaurant just a block or two from my place. The owner is a little old guy who talks really loud and he has the best laugh, and the food is amazing.”
I sighed dramatically and threw my hands up and spoke to a more or less empty park. “Okay, folks, thanks for trying, but the contest is over. All the points have been awarded, the votes have been counted, and we have a winner.”
He grinned at me. “Did I win?”
“Hell yes, you did, motherfucker.”
He laughed, long and loud, then slung his arm around my shoulders, and we began to walk back to the main road. “So there is a downside to us being on the same page,” I said. “And I probably should tell you this now so you have enough time to bail. But Angus said if things went well with us today that he wants to meet you.”
“That’s okay, because Michael said the same thing.”
Oh. “So um, are we doing the meet the friends thing? Because I will need some warning time to get my head around that and possibly enough time to get some Xanax, because my nervous rambling would possibly go nuclear, and under Spanish Inquisition circumstances, that won’t end well. Just so you know. Too many questions and the ‘you hurt him and I’ll kill you’ intimidation speech and I will freak the fuck out and you’ll probably need to call an ambulance for me while your friends call the Intervention TV show people for you, and it will be a total disaster.”
Hennessy gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I promise I won’t let him. He knows, anyway.”
“He knows what?”
He stopped walking, let his arm fall from around my shoulder, and faced me. “That things are different with you. Even from early on, he said he could tell I was already invested. That I’d found an asexual book lover for a boyfriend and that it was different this time.”
The butterflies in my chest flooded my throat. “Boyfriend?”
Hennessy let out a laugh and ran his hand through his hair. “Well, I… I um… I’m not terribly opposed to the idea.”
“Me either,” I whispered.
He beamed. “Then yeah, I think we should do the friend-meeting thing.”
“Okay,” I said, trying not to overthink actually meeting his friends. “Um, what about family?” Then I realise how that sounded. “I mean, do you have any? Not that we have to do the meeting the family thing. I think friends is more than enough for me not to freak the fuck out over, but I’ve never even asked you about your family. Or your tattoo. Or why the hell you went to Nepal. God.” I put my hand to my forehead. “Way to ruin everything, Jordan.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” He squeezed my hand. “Yes, I have family. My folks live up on the Gold Coast, and I have two sisters, Siobhan and Saffron. Both older; both live in Melbourne. We’re all kind of busy, but we talk on the phone all the time and we see each other for a week at Christmas.”
“Siobhan and Saffron,” I repeated. “And Hennessy. Did your parents write the book on How To Give Your Kids Cool Names?”
He chuckled. “We got a lot of shit at school, actually.”
I made a face. “Oh, sorry.”
“That’s okay. What about your family?”
“I don’t speak to them. I haven’t since they wouldn’t have a gay kid, and I couldn’t be not gay, so that was that.”
Hennessy stopped, his face drained, and he put his hand on my arm. “Oh my God, Jordan. I didn’t know. Sorry.”
“I was eighteen and living on my own at uni anyway, so it wasn’t like I had to add the label of homeless to freshly orphaned. But I’d rather cut all ties with those arseholes than spend years begging for them to love me, ya know?”
He nodded. “Yeah. But Jesus. I’m so sorry they did that.”
I shrugged. “I’m sorry too, but I’m okay. I knew they’d never accept me, so it wasn’t some huge shock. I kind of expected it, to be honest. I’m stronger because of them, and in a roundabout way, they taught me to stand up for myself. Plus, I have a brother in Angus, and a sister in Merry. I made my own family, and they’re so much better.”
He blew out a breath and studied me for a long second. “You’re amazing.”
I scoffed and ro
lled my eyes. “And if you’re thinking I’m headed for some kind of breakdown because I use humour and sarcasm as a defence mechanism, you’d be wrong. I’ve always been a nonsensical rambler, ever since I could talk, and I was funny long before my parents were bigoted arseholes.”
Hennessy gave me a small smile. “You’re still amazing.
“Not really, but you wanna know what I really am?”
He nodded.
“Hungry. And you mentioned food.”
He smiled, more genuinely this time. Then he put his arm around my shoulder again and we began walking to the bus stop.
Chapter Ten
Hennessy
We were greeted warmly by Feri as soon as we stepped inside. “Good to see you again, Mr Hennessy,” he said, his grin wide, his arms outstretched. “You bring special someone?”
“I did, yes,” I replied, sparing Jordan a small glance, feeling a little proud, a little embarrassed. “This is Jordan.”
They smiled politely at each other and said quiet hellos.
“I give you best table, come this way.” Feri was a short man, as tall as he was wide, but he had a smile that could light up a room. His restaurant was a small, dank-looking place, and I probably would have thought it questionable if it weren’t for the non-stop crowd of people lining up for whatever Hungarian creations he could dish up.
After we were seated, Jordan took his time going over the menu. It was probably the quietest I’d ever seen him. “You okay?”
“Oh sure,” he said quickly. “I just don’t know what to get. It all looks good, but I’ve never had Hungarian before. I mean, I’ve had goulash before, but I don’t know what any of these other things are, and what if I order the wrong thing and don’t like it. I don’t want things to be awkward.”
“Want me to order for you?”
He looked up from the menu to me, a little puzzled, but there was a hint of a smile. “Do you think you’re good enough? Because if you order it and I don’t like it, then it’s bound to be awkward.”
I chuckled. “The name of this place, Itthon, is Hungarian for at home. Like home cooking, soul food. There isn’t a bad thing on the menu. And you ordered those mango fries for me, and there was no awkwardness.”
“Because they’re deep fried heaven sticks.” Then he shrugged. “But I’m game if you are.”
I folded my menu closed, already knowing what I’d order.
When Feri brought out the lángos and stuffed cabbage and the chicken paprikash on nokedli for us to share, I waited for Jordan to taste it first. He took a tentative forkful of the chicken, then his gaze shot to mine. “Get. Out.”
I grinned. “Told you.”
Feri let out one of his contagious laughs. “You bring him here to win his heart,” he said with a clap of his hand on my shoulder. “My food works every time.”
I’m certain I blushed every shade of red known to man, but Feri went on to his other customers, leaving Jordan and me to eat in slightly mortified silence.
“Well, this definitely cranks your rating up to a full ten points,” Jordan said. He put his fork down and leaned back. “This is amazing.”
“I thought it was a full ten before we got here.”
“A full ten on the new scale,” he said. “Which would be like a fifty for anybody else, but we have to keep it at ten so they don’t feel bad. Not everyone can live up to your standards.”
I grinned. “Well, that would be fair. Oh, and your questions earlier. My tattoo is the Marvel Avengers’ A, you know, but in black, grey, white, and purple, like the ace flag. Kind of like my superhero shield. It looks better than it sounds. It’s on my chest.” I pointed to my heart. “And I went to Nepal before my final year of uni. I had two months off, and I knew once I graduated, it’d be competitive, and once work started, my next vacation would be in ten years. So I spent five weeks travelling from Vietnam to Cambodia, Thailand, Myanmar, Northern India, then Nepal. It was crazy but incredible. Best five weeks of my life.”
“That sounds amazing. You went with friends?”
I shook my head. “Nope. My travel agent lined up a guide from Vietnam, paid him a year’s wages, which wasn’t much by comparison. He had an old Jeep I’m pretty sure was left behind from the war. The suspension was shot, but it was all part of the experience.”
“You went on your own? Oh my God, I would definitely end up in a bathtub of ice missing a kidney or something. Or I’d end up in the Bangkok Hilton because the customs guys would probably think my non-stop talking was a sign of drug use. It’d be a disaster.”
I chuckled and broke off a piece of the lángos. “Here, try this. It’s amazing.”
He took it, tasted it, and groaned. “Why have I never been here before? I think we’ll need to come back and try every single thing on the menu.”
“Deal.”
He ate a bit more, set his fork down, and sipped his water. “So what have you got on at work this week?” he asked. “You mentioned closing off one of your biggest contracts. I mean, I don’t even know what internet ninjas do.”
“Yeah, there are things I can’t tell you. You know, being an internet ninja—” I winked. “—means there are things I can’t tell you.”
“So you are an undercover cop or a secret agent?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I knew it!”
I laughed at that. “Definitely not a cop or a secret agent. But I deal with classified information. Big companies, corporations, and the CEOs trust me with passwords and encryption codes. If I wanted to, which I don’t, but if I was so inclined, I could take down some pretty big companies.”
“So you have access to all of their information?”
I nodded. “Names, addresses, tax-file numbers, bank accounts, offshore accounts, wire transfers. You name it, I can see it.”
“Wow. That’s kinda scary.”
“It is a bit.”
“Have you ever been tempted to go to the dark side?”
I smiled. “No. Being a good guy pays well, I get to do what I enjoy, and there are other perks—like not going to prison.”
Jordan snorted. “Pretty big perk.”
“So there will always be things I can’t tell you. Don’t think it’s anything against you, because it’s not. It’s just my job. There are all kinds of NDAs and contracts where I guarantee silence and anonymity.”
“No, that’s completely fine. I get that.”
“But yes, I will be wrapping up that contract this week, which will be a hell of a relief for a whole range of reasons,” I said. “The biggest reason being, the boss of the company I’m working with right now is my ex. But despite our differences, he wanted the best, and me being ever the professional…” I waved my hand.
He made a face and shifted in his seat. It clearly made him uncomfortable. “That can’t be easy.”
“No. Especially after I moved out, and having to see him again, it wasn’t easy at all.”
“You lived with him?”
“Yep. For six months. It was kind of crazy, and I think moving in with him was a last-ditch effort to save the relationship. Which in hindsight was stupid. I thought it might make us closer, and apparently he thought it might make me want to sleep with him. We broke up, he moved on, and I moved out.”
“He’s the guy that slept with other people right after you broke up?”
“Three people. That day.” I threw my serviette onto my empty plate. “I know that because he brought them home. I don’t know if he wasn’t expecting me to still be there…”
“That motherfucker.”
I nodded. “Yep. I didn’t stick around to watch. I was gone before his bedroom door was even closed.”
“Good.”
“I went straight to Michael’s place, and he and Vee fed me Chinese food and vodka till I felt better.”
“They sound like my kind of people.”
“You’d like them. I know you and Michael would hit it off, and Vee would adore you.”
“Is she the one who is trying to
set you up with dinner dates?”
I nodded. “Yeah. She just wants me to be happy.”
“Are you?” he asked.
I met his gaze and held it for a long moment. “I am now.”
He blushed and rolled his eyes. “Well, I am a total catch.”
I sighed happily. Happier than I had been in a long time. “Can I be totally honest with you?”
He looked stricken. “Oh God. This never ends well.”
I moved my foot to the outside of his under the table and kept it there. “It’s not bad. It’s just… this is probably going to sound corny, and it’s probably too soon to dump this on you, but I’m so glad I met you. To finally find someone who not only understands me, but is like me… it feels like I won the lottery.” He looked about to say something, and maybe this was crazy-fast, but I felt something in my very core for Jordan. I put my hand up. “Maybe I’m not saying this right and I don’t want to scare you off. But for me to meet someone who not only gets me but who is the same as me, well that’s pretty amazing.”
He frowned at his plate. “No, I get it. I really do. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I was just different and that was who I was. And like I told you at the support meeting, I have so many labels already, I didn’t really need another one. But I’m thinking now maybe it wasn’t the label I had the issue with. Maybe it was finally admitting there was something different about me, because if I admitted it, it made it true and then I had to face it. Know what I mean?”
I nodded. “I do, yeah.”
He smiled. “And that right there is why I’m glad I met you too. Because you’re like me. There are other people who are like me. There’s nothing wrong with me, there’s nothing abnormal about me.”
“No, there’s not. The word normal should be thrown in the garbage.”
“I’m thinking of writing Merriam-Webster a sternly worded letter,” he joked. “It needs to be removed. Along with the word baccalaureate. Not for any other reason that I just don’t like it, and I can never spell it right on the first go.”