by Nicole Casey
But of course we couldn’t. This wasn’t some romcom where everything would be washed away by the wave of his dick and we frolic off into the sunset. This was our business, our marriage and my baby’s future on the line.
“You know you are?” I reiterated. “And you didn’t think to mention it to me?”
For hours I’d sat there, in the dark, debating what to do about what had happened. Did I comply with this FBI investigation or did I ignore it? And why hadn’t anyone notified me that Agent Vaniby was looking for me?
It smelled like a conspiracy but maybe I was just paranoid.
Because Rustin made me this way. I’m freaking out because I don’t fully trust him.
“I only found out about it tonight,” Rust sighed, shaking his head and flopping back against the couch. He turned his head to look at me, his eyes tired and shadowed.
“How did you find out about it?” he asked. “Did Vaniby come here?”
“You know him?”
He sniggered.
“Yeah. We know him.”
“Jesus Christ, Rustin. Is there anything else you’re hiding from me?” I demanded, my heart pounding as I asked the question. If there was, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it. He studied my face.
“It’s not what you think, Asha,” he told me softly. “I haven’t been hiding anything from you, I swear.”
“I don’t mean to be a bitch but why does it feel like you are?” I muttered, conflicting emotions making me a now-familiar dizzy.
“I only found out tonight,” he said slowly. “That’s why my father wanted us to go there.”
“What the hell is going on, Rust? What do they have on you? What have you done to my dad’s company?”
His eyes widened and then narrowed.
“Nothing is going on!” he insisted. “Vaniby is an overzealous agent with a hard-on for my family.”
“You don’t get a hard-on without something arousing you,” I pointed out flatly. “Something must have set him off.”
Rustin inhaled and nodded, lowering his eyes.
“A few years ago, we had a whistleblower causing shit at Sphinx. We’re a pharmaceutical company, Ash. I don’t need to tell you the kind of lawsuits and problems we encounter. There was nothing to the claims, I mean, nothing that wasn’t on the books.”
He hesitated and I stared at him, waiting.
“I can’t say that the company has always done everything by the books but when Vaniby came sniffing around, we were on the up and up…”
Again, Rust trailed off and I found my apprehension growing.
He’s still hiding something from me.
“Full disclosure,” he said and I sat forward eagerly.
“Yes please.”
“Something has always been amiss with the way things were run at Sphinx. I’m surprised your dad didn’t pick up on it. Or maybe he just wanted in so badly, he was willing to overlook it but as long as I’ve been actively involved, there have been discrepancies.”
“What kind of discrepancies?” I demanded.
“Money, mostly. The numbers don’t exactly float. I wasn’t surprised when Vaniby came looking around again.”
I bit on my lower lip.
“What did he find? Have those inconsistencies carried over since the merger?”
“Yeah. Whatever’s happening, it’s worse.”
I recoiled at the confession. How could I have overlooked something like that?
As if reading my mind, Rust reached for my hands.
“You’d have to be looking for the issues to know. My father was already on notice and he was on high alert.”
I chewed on the insides of my cheeks.
Would he be telling me this if he was responsible for whatever it was that was going on? He’d already proven himself crafty. Maybe he was telling me because he knew I’d eventually find out and he was trying to deflect blame.
Dammit, Rustin, why can’t I trust you?
“What did Vaniby say?” Rustin asked but I could tell by his expression that he already knew. “Did he bring up my assault?”
There was a sour look on his face.
“Yes.”
Rust smirked.
“He does love to invoke that emotional response. He can’t help himself.”
“So it’s true?” I heard myself ask. “You have a felony on your record.”
“It was dismissed—from high school. I got into a fight with a guy who was harassing a girl. I’d just turned eighteen and he…well, yeah, I threw the first punch but he deserved it.”
What was I to make of that? It certainly was on par with everything I knew about my husband but again, how much did I really know?
I know enough to know that I am going to see him through this…whatever “this” is.
“Stop looking at me like that, Asha. Are you telling me you never did anything in high school that comes back to haunt you?”
Every goddamn day.
Subconsciously, my hands trailed over my belly and I dropped my gaze.
“So is this an active investigation or is it just Vaniby with a bone to pick?” I asked.
“I can’t say for certain,” Rustin replied. “My guess is that Vaniby is just picking up an old scent.”
He looked at me with sympathy.
“I’m sorry he’s hassling you, Ash but he’s looking to see what will shake loose.”
“I didn’t tell him anything,” I said quickly.
“What would you tell him?” he asked. Yet as he spoke, surprise and then hurt lit his eyes. “Do you think I have something to do with this?”
“I have no idea what to think, Rust. I’m exhausted, trying to wrap my mind around everything. And now an FBI agent shows up and you confirm everything he’s saying.”
Rustin nodded slowly and moved his hands from mine, his eyes gathering a veil as he sat back.
“I get it,” he told me but I could hear the pain in his voice. “I’m sorry.”
A lump of unhappiness was forming in my throat and I wished I hadn’t said anything but at least he knew what I was thinking.
“We should get to bed,” I told him, rising from the couch and extending my hand toward him but he didn’t move.
“I could use a drink,” he told me. “I’ll be there in a bit—assuming you’ll be in my bed.”
There was a long note of resignation in his tone and my heart stopped. I couldn’t have it both ways. I either trusted him or I didn’t and if I didn’t I couldn’t keep acting like I did.
Was time going to change my mind?
“I’ll…” I paused and swallowed. “I’ll be in your bed unless you want to sleep in my bed.”
“Whatever you want to do, Asha.”
I stood, unmoving as I stared at him, wanting to say something else but what?
“We’ll…we’ll figure this out,” I promised and he grunted.
“Sure.”
Slowly, I turned away.
“Asha…”
Eagerly I whipped my head around to look at him and he cocked his head to the side to study my face.
“Hm?”
“Is there anything you want to tell me?”
Goosebumps exploded on my arms.
“What do you mean?”
Had Geneva told him something? Shit.
He met my gaze and smirked softly.
“I don’t think that this is going to work out,” he said quietly. “After this is all said and done, I think we should see about that annulment or divorce or whatever.”
Shock coursed through me in blades.
“What?”
“I can’t keep hoping you’ll forgive me and it’s not fair to either of us if you second-guess me. We were doomed from the start, Ash and it’s my fault but there’s no point in continuing with this farce.”
“The company!” I blubbered, grasping at stupid straws. “Our parents!”
“When this gets out, the company is going to be in trouble. Our divorce isn’t going to catch anyone’s
attention and my father won’t put up a fight.”
“It doesn’t need to get out!” I protested. “We can figure out what’s happening and keep it quiet—”
“It’s not that simple,” Rust sighed, dropping his head.
“Rust, is that what you really want?” I demanded, tears blinding my vision. I couldn’t understand why it hurt so badly but I felt like I’d just been punched in the stomach over and over again.
“No,” he said. “It’s not. But I also don’t want to live feeling like I’ve trapped you into a marriage you never wanted.”
“We can’t get a divorce!” I blurted out. “I’m pregnant!”
Oh God. I became that girl. The one who cried baby to save her marriage even though I wasn’t even sure I wanted it to be saved. At least I hadn’t known until that moment. But suddenly, the idea of living apart from this man was more than I could bear.
Rustin raised his eyes, a blankness falling over them.
“What?” he asked dully. “You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant,” I said again, trying to catch my breath. “Just over three months. Since our wedding night.”
He didn’t say anything but the look he gave me spoke volumes to what was happening inside his head and heart.
He felt just as betrayed as I had when I’d learned what he’d done, stealing his brother’s identity to claim me as his own.
“How long have you known?”
I gritted my teeth together.
“Not long,” I lied but he scoffed.
“I guess I’m not the only one well-versed in hiding things,” he muttered, sinking back against the cushions to close his eyes. He didn’t say anything after then and I was sick to my stomach trying to guess how he felt about our baby.
“Rust…I-I was going to tell you,” I offered weakly. “It was just so hard to process with everything going on.”
“Your flu,” he mumbled without opening his eyes. “I should have guessed it.”
“I should have told you,” I whispered and his eyes flew open. He stared at me blankly.
“Yeah,” he said sadly, the monotonous pitch of his voice stabbing my heart. “But I guess this was your way of getting even. What were you going to do? Run off with the baby?”
“No!” My cry echoed through the living room like I was trying to convince myself. “No, of course not.”
I chewed on my lip so feverishly I tasted blood.
“Rust, I’m sorry,” I pleaded. “I made a mistake and I didn’t do it to get back at you. I…I’m afraid.”
He stared at me.
“Afraid of what?”
I sniffed back the tears and sank to my knees to gaze into his eyes.
“I had a baby when I was a teenager,” I confessed, my words barely audible. I’d never told anyone this story and I never thought I ever would but if we were doing full disclosures, this was the time to do it.
“My parents arranged for an adoption and no one ever knew but God, Rust, I wanted so badly to run off and raise that child alone. My parents made it very clear that if I did that, I’d be disinherited and disowned. I was sixteen, scared and under my parents’ thumbs.”
I paused and snickered bitterly.
“Not that much has changed on that front.”
Tears blurred my vision so that Rust was only a wavery outline but I didn’t break my stare.
“I was so afraid to love anyone, to commit to anyone. I was always sure that anyone I cared about would be swept away as easily as my son was. That’s why…that’s why I was so betrayed over what happened with us. I wanted to believe that I’d finally found some happiness because what I had with you, I’d never had it with anyone else.”
Saline water slid down my olive cheeks to spill against my robe and although I was looking at Rust, I was lost in my own mind somewhere, dredging up a thousand old wounds that had never really closed.
“I’m afraid to trust,” I breathed. “I’m afraid of everything you make me feel. I’m afraid and I don’t know how to stop being afraid.”
I bowed my head then and permitted myself to sob until I felt his large, soft hands over my crown, gently stroking my silken tresses.
“We’re all afraid of something,” Rustin murmured. “That’s why it helps to have someone along the way.”
I looked up and smiled wanly.
“Easy for you to say,” I sniffled. “You’ve always had a brother to depend on. You know trust implicitly.”
To my surprise, Rust didn’t break a smile. If anything, his face fell into deeper despair.
“No,” he sighed, cupping my hands in his face. “I can’t trust Adare and it’s come to light that he’s never trusted me.”
“I’m sure you’re wrong,” I said as Rust wiped the tears from my face. “He loves you.”
“Maybe,” he agreed. “But he’s the one who’s been embezzling from the company for the past five years.”
12
Rustin
We hadn’t come across the information by accident but when we had finally dug as deep as we could go, the evidence was overwhelming.
My brother was a career, white-collar criminal.
There was so much at stake now, so much riding on how we handled what needed to be done.
My father and I met that cold, rainy morning to discuss our plan of attack but it was not a strong conversation. Our voices were subdued as the slate sky darkened from the fortieth-floor office.
“We’ll be ruined if this comes out,” Morris said but my mind was less on the outcome of the company and more on what would have caused my strait-edged brother to act in such a way.
Adare had always been the “good” twin. If people were to bet on something like this, undoubtedly, I would have been the forerunner but here we were, deciding what to do with my rogue sibling.
We were still twins, after all, connected by an invisible bond that knew neither space nor time.
And all that guilt that I had never felt over the years, the shame I should have experienced when I competed with him and caused him unnecessary grief, yeah, that all came flooding over me in a tsunami.
Had I driven him to do this? Was it my fault he’d taken such desperate measures?
“We need to speak to him,” I told my father. “We can’t keep meeting and taking no action while he continues to bleed the company from under our noses. The Prestons are bound to find out about it sooner or later.”
“Especially if your wife knows,” Morris muttered miserably. “I wish you hadn’t told her.”
I glared at him.
“You need to get your priorities straight, Dad. Asha is on our side, the company’s side.”
“I always had a strange feeling about the Prestons,” my father continued as if I hadn’t spoken.
“Yet you allowed a marriage and a merger with them,” I snapped. “Your house is the one in a mess right now. Forget about how the Prestons are damaging to you and focus on Adare.”
Begrudgingly, he nodded and grunted.
“Call him in here,” he mumbled miserably and I could tell he wasn’t looking anymore forward to talking to Adare than I was but what other choice did we have?
If we didn’t confront him, the FBI would eventually get him and there would be nothing we could do about it. At least this way, there was hopefully a chance to recoup the money and silently repay the missing accounts before things were too far-gone.
As for the laundering, I still wasn’t sure how much of Vaniby’s theory was accurate. I hadn’t seen any indication of such activity and it would be hard to prove if there was but I wasn’t an accountant. I was only the vice president…just like my twin.
I rose from my chair to pick up the office phone and buzz the intercom at reception.
“Andy, can you have Adare come in here?” I asked.
“Yes, Mr. Sphinx.”
I reclaimed my chair and waited, my father and I sitting across from one another, unspeaking.
What would this mean for Asha and
I going forward? It had been a week since I’d learned of her pregnancy and for the first time since our nuptials, I actually felt like we were a married couple.
Every night, we stayed up to the wee hours, christening every piece of furniture in the house to the point where Asha embarrassedly bought the house staff noise-canceling headphones for their sanity.
I loved having her in my arms, feeling the swell of my son or daughter growing along the tiniest bump of her womb.
But when we weren’t breaking chairs in our throes of passion, we talked. For hours and I couldn’t remember ever having conversations like those.
Our souls were connected by aloofness, loneliness and I’d known that from the minute I’d seen her at my party. It was impossible to believe that we would trust each other overnight but I could already see the way she looked at me, that she was beginning to believe again. What else could I ask for?
Yet above all, she had stood by me, keeping quiet about the missing money and reassuring me that the police didn’t need to get involved—if we could eliminate the problem.
The question was, how was Adare going to react when he was confronted?
I looked up, realizing that several minutes had passed.
“Where is he?” My father asked, seeming to notice at the same time that we were sitting alone in the office, still waiting.
I shrugged but as I got up to buzz Andy again, the intercom dinged incoming.
“Andy?” I barked into the phone. “Where is my brother?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Sphinx but I can’t locate him anywhere. Did you want me to try his cell?”
“I can do that. Thanks.”
I disconnected and shrugged at my father.
“He’s not here.”
Morris’ creased face wrinkled more at the words.
“What do you mean?”
But I was already pulling out my phone to call him.
“The number you have reached is no longer in service,” the automated voice intoned in my ear.
I jerked the phone away and looked at it in sheer confusion. Adare had had the same number for over ten years. I hadn’t dialed wrong—it was the age of speed dial.
I tried it again.
“Rustin…”
I got the same message and hung up, a sweeping pit of anxiety touching my gut as I looked at my dad.