"The sunsets are beautiful from this balcony," Pasha said.
Richard wasn't interested in sunsets. He studied the courtyard below, the gates, the roads, the patrolling soldiers, and the bridges to the city and the hills beyond. He tried to fix a map of it all into his head.
He went back inside and marched to the other end of the room, to the doorway there. Beyond was a bedroom almost as large as the first room. It held the largest bed he had ever seen, covered with a deep purple quilt. Another pair of glassed doors led to another balcony, but this one looked south, out over the sea.
"It's a beautiful view," Pasha said. "A romantic view." She saw that he was looking to the sections of the Palace below. She pointed. "Across that courtyard are some of the womens' quarters, where most of the Sisters' rooms are." She shook the finger at him. "You will stay away from them, young man!" She turned away. "Unless a Sister invites you to her room," she added under her breath.
"What do I call you," he asked. "Sister Pasha?"
She giggled. "No. I am a novice, though I hope to become a Sister if I prove myself with you. Until then, I am simply, Pasha."
Richard turned to her, directing a glare to her eyes. "My name is Richard. Do you have trouble remembering it?"
"Look here, you are assigned to me and..."
"If that is too difficult for you to remember, you have no chance of ever becoming a Sister, because if you insist on trying to demean me by calling me by other than my name, I will see to it that you quickly fail in your test." He leaned over her as he glowered down at her wide eyes. "Do you understand, Pasha!"
She swallowed. "You will not raise your voice to me young..." She lifted her chin a little. "You will not raise your voice to me, Richard."
"That's better. Thank you." He hoped she would leave it at that; he was in no mood to be kind if she was not.
He turned away. This balcony held less of a view of the things he was interested in, and so he went back into the bedroom.
She followed on his heels. "Look here, Richard, you will learn some manners or else I will..."
That was the end of his indulgence. He spun to her. She lurched to a halt, almost colliding with him.
"You've never been in charge of anyone before, have you?" She didn't move. "I would say that this is the first time you have been given responsibility, and you are terrified you will muck it up. Since you are inexperienced, you think acting like a tyrant will fool people into thinking you know what you are doing."
"Well, I..."
Her voice trailed off as he leaned down, putting his face close to hers.
"You should not be frightened of letting me see that you are inexperienced at commanding people, Pasha. What you should be frightened of is that I will kill you."
Her eyes narrowed with indignation. "Don't you dare threaten me."
"This is a game to you. A way for you to fulfil some arcane rules by prancing around, pulling your little puppy around by his collar, and training him to lick your hand, so you may gain a new rank."
He gritted his teeth as he lowered his voice. "It is not a game to me, Pasha. It is a matter of life and death. I am a prisoner, held in a collar, as a beast, or a slave. I have only as much control of my life as you people allow. I know I am to be tortured by you as a way of breaking my will.
"You are wrong, Pasha, if you think that I'm making a threat. I'm not. I am making a promise."
"I am not what you think of me, Richard," she said in a small voice. "I want to be your friend."
"You are not my friend. You are my captor." He held a finger up in front of her face. "Don't you ever turn your back on me, because I will kill you, just as I killed the last person who held me prisoner in a collar."
She blinked up at him. "Richard, I don't know what happened to you before, but we are not like that. I want to be a Sister of the Light to help people see the Creator's goodness."
Richard was dangerously close to letting the magic slip from his control. He struggled to maintain his grip. He had other things to do. "I am not interested in your theology. Just remember what I told you."
She smiled. "I will. I apologize for making you angry by calling you other than by your name. Please forgive me. I've never done this before. I was only doing as I thought I should, following the rules, as I was trained."
"Forget the rules. Just be yourself, and you will have less trouble in life."
"If that would help you believe that I am only trying to help you, then that is what I shall do." She pointed. "Here. Sit on the edge of the bed."
"Why?"
Though she didn't move, he felt a gentle push. He fell back, to sit on the edge of the bed. "Don't..."
She stepped between his legs, close to him.
"Hush. Let me do my job. I told you before, I must let my Han come to know your Rada'Han, so I will know where you are at all times."
She put her hands to each side of his neck, over the collar. She closed her eyes. Her breasts were right in front of his face, moving with each breath. He felt a soft tingling sensation than sank all the way to his toes and then came back up through him. It was slightly uncomfortable, but not unpleasant, and in fact the longer it went on, the better it felt.
When she took her hands away, the absence of the sensation was agony for a moment. The world seemed to hum and spin. He shook his head.
"What did you do?"
"I simply let my Han come to know your Rada'Han." She looked a little dazed. She swallowed as a tear ran down her cheek. "And something of your Han, your essence."
She turned away. Richard stood.
"Does that mean that you will always know where I am, now? By my collar?"
She nodded weakly as she strode slowly across the room. Her voice regained its control. "What are your preferences, for food? Your special requirements?"
"I don't eat meat."
She stopped in her tracks. "That is one I have never heard before."
"And, I guess I don't like cheese anymore, either."
She considered a moment, and then walked on. "I will tell the cooks your special requirements."
A plan was forming in his head, and she wasn't part of it. He needed to get rid of her.
Pasha went to a tall, pickled pine wardrobe. It was filled with fine clothes. There were trousers of a smooth weave, at least a dozen shirts, mostly white, some with ruffles, and coats of every color.
"These are yours," she said.
"If everyone was surprised I was grown, why are they a size of a grown man?"
She inspected the various items, feeling the fabric, taking some out and holding them up for a better look. "Someone must have known. Verna must have told them."
"Sister Verna."
She put a black coat back. "I'm sorry, Richard, but it is just Verna, now." She pulled out a white shirt. "Do you like this?"
"No. I would look foolish wearing fancy things like that."
She smiled coquettishly. "I think you would look very handsome in it. But if it does not please you, there are coins on the table over there. I will show you some shops in the city, and you may purchase whatever you like better."
Richard glanced to the marble-topped table. There was a silver bowl of silver coins, and next to it, a gold bowl heaped full with gold coins. If he worked his whole life as a guide, he would never earn even half that much gold.
"It is not mine."
"Of course it is. You are a guest of the Palace, and the Palace provides whatever our guests require. If you use that up, it will be replaced." She pulled out a red coat with gold brocade on the shoulders and cuffs. Her eyes brightened. "Richard, this would look simply grand on you."
"Even if you cover a collar with precious gems, it is still a collar."
"This has nothing to do with your Rada'Han. What you are wearing is disgusting. You look like some savage from the woods." She held the red coat open. "Here, try this on."
He snatched the coat from her hands and threw it on the bed. Gripping her by the arm, he mar
ched her to the door in the front room.
"Richard! Stop it! What are you doing!"
He pulled the door open. "I'm tired, it's been a long day. Good night, Pasha."
"Richard, I'm only trying to help you look better. You look uncivilized in that outfit. You look like some huge beast."
He went calm as he took in her blue dress, blue the color of Kahlan's wedding dress.
"That color does not become you," he said. "Does not become you at all."
She stood in the hall, staring at him with big brown eyes. He kicked the door shut.
He waited a few minutes, and then checked the hall. There was no sign of her. He went to his pack, beside the fireplace, and started taking things out. He wouldn't need everything. No need carrying all his extra clothes.
As he was stretching the string to the bow, there was a soft rap at the door. He crept across the carpets, listening. Maybe she would go away if he didn't answer it. He didn't need her hanging around, telling him what to wear. He had important things to do.
The soft knock came again. Maybe it wasn't Pasha. Richard pulled his knife. He yanked the door open.
"Sister Verna."
"I just saw Pasha, running down the hall in tears. I'm surprised at you, Richard." She lifted an eyebrow to him. "I didn't think it would take you that long. I've been hiding around a corner, afraid I would be caught while I waited." A shawl capped her curly hair and spread down over her shoulders. "Did you have to make her cry?"
"She is fortunate I didn't make her bleed."
She lifted the shawl from her head and settled it around her shoulders. A small smile touched her lips. "May I come in?" He held out his arm in invitation. "And it is simply Verna," she said as she stepped through the threshold. "I am not a Sister."
He slipped the knife back into its sheath. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I could bring myself to call you anything else. To me, you are Sister Verna."
"It is not proper to address me as Sister." She looked around the room as he closed the door. "How are the accommodations?"
"They would not embarrass a king. Sister Verna, I know you won't believe me, but I'm really sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to bring my troubles down on you."
A broad grin spread on her face. "You have been a constant trouble to me, Richard, but, for once, this trouble was not caused by you. Another brought this trouble upon me."
"Sister, I know I caused you to be broken to a novice. I didn't intend that. But the part about you being sent to work in the stables, that was your own doing."
"Things are not always as they seem, Richard." There was a twinkle in her eye. "I hate scrubbing pots. When I was a novice, when I was young, I hated that more than anything else. I'm not happy in a kitchen, and less so with my hands in scalding water.
"I like horses much better. They don't talk back, or argue with me. I like being around horses. More so, since you destroyed the bits and I became friends with Jessup. Sister Maren thought she held the reins, as it were, but she was doing what I wished."
Richard smiled with one side of his mouth. "You are a very devious woman, Sister Verna. I'm proud of you. But I'm still sorry you are put back to novice because of me."
She shrugged. "I am here to serve the Creator. It matters not how. And this is not your doing; the Prelate's orders are what caused me to be broken to a novice."
"You mean the orders she wrote in the book? She forbade you from using your power on me, didn't she?"
"How do you know that?"
"I figured it out. You were often angry enough to spit fire at me, but you never used your power to stop me. I don't think that would have happened unless you were under orders to watch but not to interfere. After all, if the Rada'Han is used to control, why else would you not use that control?"
She shook her head to herself. "You are a very devious person yourself, Richard. How long have you known?"
"Since I read the book in the tower. Why are you here, Sister?"
"I wanted to see if you were all right. Starting tomorrow, I won't get the chance again. At least not for a very long time—not until I am raised to Sister of the Light again. First rank novices are not allowed to have anything to do with young wizards. The penalty is quite severe."
"Your first day as a novice, and already you are breaking the rules. You should not be here. You will be up to your elbows in scalding water and dirty pots if they catch you."
She shrugged. "Some things are more important than rules."
Richard frowned at the distant look in her eyes. "Why don't you sit?"
"I don't have time. I only came to keep a promise." She pulled something from a pocket. "And to bring you this."
She lifted his hand and placed something in it, then closed his fingers around it.
When Richard opened his fingers and looked, his knees almost buckled. A knot swelled in his throat. His vision turned watery as he stared into his hand.
It was the lock of Kahlan's hair he had thrown away.
Sister Verna clasped her hands together. "The first night, the first night we were together, I found that."
Without looking up, he whispered, "What do you mean, you found it?"
She leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. "After you fell asleep, after you decided not to kill me, I went for a walk, and I found it."
His eyes slid closed. "I can't take this," he managed to make himself say. "I have set her free."
"Kahlan made a great sacrifice to save your life. I promised her that I would not let you forget that she loves you."
Richard's strength had vanished. The muscles in his legs quivered. His hand shook.
"I can't take this. She sent me away. I have set her free."
Sister Verna spoke softly. "She loves you, Richard. Please, as a favor to me, take it. I have violated the rules to bring this to you. I made a promise to Kahlan to make sure you know she loves you. I was reminded again today what a rare thing real love is."
Richard felt as if the whole weight of the Palace had fallen down on him.
"All right, Sister. As a favor to you. But I know she doesn't want me. If you love someone, you don't ask them to put a collar around their neck; you don't sent them away. She wishes to be free. I love her, and so I have set her free."
"Someday, Richard, I hope you will realize how much she has sacrificed, and the truth of her love. Love is a precious thing, and should not be forgotten. I don't know what your life holds in store, but someday, you will find love again.
"But, I think you need a friend more than anything else right now. I am sincere in my offer, Richard."
"Will you take this collar off me?"
She was silent a moment. Her voice came heavy with regret. "I cannot, Richard. It would bring you to harm. I have a duty to preserve your life. The collar must stay on."
He nodded. "I have no friends. I am in enemy territory, in enemy hands."
"That's not true. But I'm afraid that, as a novice, I won't have the chance to convince you otherwise. Pasha looks like a nice young woman. Try to make friends with her, Richard. You need a friend."
"I can't make friends with someone I may have to kill. I meant every word I said today, Sister."
"I know, Richard," she whispered. "I know. But Pasha is almost your age. Sometimes, it is easier to make friends with those your own age. I think she would like to be your friend.
"For a novice, this is as important a time as it is for a young wizard. The relationship between a novice and the wizard she is assigned is unique. The bond that will grow is very special, and will last the lifetime of each.
"She, too, is frightened. Her whole life, she has been a student, a novice. Now, for the first time, she is the teacher. Not only the boy learns, but the girl, too. They both are entering a new life. It is a very special thing, for both."
"Slave and master. That is the only bond."
She sighed. "I doubt any novice has ever faced a task like the one Pasha will have. Try to be understanding of her, Richard. P
asha is going to have her hands full with you. The Creator knows the Prelate herself would have her hands full with you."
Richard stared off at nothing. "Have you ever killed anyone you loved, Sister?"
"Well, no..."
Richard lifted the Agiel in his fist. "Denna held me by my magic, as do the Sisters. She kept a collar around my neck, as do the Sisters.
"They had tortured her until she was mad enough to do the same to me. I understood how she could do it, because I would have done anything she said, to keep from being hurt anymore."
He was hardly aware of the pain from the Agiel ripping through him.
"I understood her, and I loved her." A tear ran down his face. "That was the only way I was able to escape. She controlled the rage of the sword. Because I was able to love her, I was able to turn the blade of the Sword of Truth white."
"Dear Creator," Sister Verna whispered, her eyes wide, "you have turned the sword's blade white?"
Richard closed his eyes and nodded. "I had to take the love of her into my heart. Only then could I turn the blade white. Only then could I run it through her while she looked lovingly into my eyes. Only because I loved her, could I kill her, and escape.
"As long as I live, I will never be able to forgive myself."
Sister Verna embraced him protectively. "Dear Creator," she whispered, "what have you done to your child?"
Richard pushed her away. "Go, Sister, before you get into trouble." He wiped his eyes. "I'm being foolish."
She gripped his shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
He wiped his sleeve across his nose. "It is not something I am proud of. And you are the enemy, Sister." He looked to her wet eyes. "I have told you the truth, I told the other Sisters the truth today; I will kill anyone I must. Sister, I am capable of killing anyone. I am the bringer of death. I am a monster. That is why Kahlan wanted me sent away."
She brushed his hair back from his face. "She loves you, Richard. She was trying to save your life. Someday you will see that." She sighed. "I'm sorry. I must go. Will you be all right?"
His smile was empty. "I don't think so, Sister. I think there is going to be war. I think I am going to end up killing Sisters. I hope you are not one of them."
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