by Kevin Brooks
She ushered us forward again, and this time – after a glance at each other – we cautiously made our way over to the hidden door. On the other side of it was a steep flight of uneven stone steps leading up to another door, which again was secured with bolts.
You go first, Gilder said. Ile be right behind you.
Ide put my hand in my pocket now and was gripping the butt of the Beretta, and as we stepped through the doorway and began climbing the steps, I saw that Chola Se had hold of her shotgun. Gilder followed us through the doorway, then stopped and turned round to pull both the rug and the door closed behind us. The light in the staircase dimmed, but there was still a faint stream of sunlight coming in from somewhere, and when I looked up I saw a narrow shuttered window in the wall at the top of the steps.
The faint scent wede sensed in the room was much stronger now, and it was getting stronger with every step. There was no doubt what it was anymore – not that there ever really had been – and it was equally clear that it was coming from somewhere behind the door at the top of the steps.
It still didnt make sense.
The stairway was so narrow that when we reached the top we had to squeeze in close to the wall to allow Gilder to get past us and get to the door. She unbolted it, reached for the handle, then stopped. She didnt move or say anything for a good 10 seconds – she just stood there, staring blindly at the door, deep in thought. Eventually, after seemingly making up her mind about something, she turned to us and spoke quietly.
You already know, dont you? she said.
We both nodded.
She smiled. I should have realized---Ime sorry. You must be wondering what on earths going on here. Come on, let me show you---
She started turning the door handle, then stopped again.
His names Juddah. I dont how hese going to react when he sees you, but dont be alarmed if hese very frightened at first. He hasnt had any contact with the outside world since he was 5 years old.
She opened the door and we went inside.
I was right behind Gilder when we entered the attic, and as I peered over her shoulder I caught a momentary glimpse of a creature so wretched and pitiful he was almost unrecognizable as a dogchild. If it hadnt been for his unmistakable scent – which was so overwhelming now that I could feel it permeating my skin – Ime not sure I would have known what he was.
He was no more than 15 feet away from us, and when he saw me and Chola Se he reacted so suddenly – shooting across the attic in a blur of speed and disappearing into the dark interior of a large blanket-covered cage in the corner – that all I consciously saw of him before he fled was a brief flash of yellowed teeth as he bared his lips in a silent snarl of fear. But the image of him in that very first moment was so intense that it somehow went beyond conscious vision, burning into my minds eye with a clarity of detail that I can still see right now.
I can see his face – a patchwork of jagged scars, the ugly red slashes vividly clear against skin so unnaturally pale its almost translucent – and his wild staring eyes, unblinking and petrified. I can see his long black hair reaching down to his bare shoulders, and his naked torso, as scarred and disfigured as his face. I can see him half sitting, half lying on the floor – his legs splayed out to one side, his upper body leaning over at an angle, propped up by an elbow on the floor. And I can see his poor legs – the right foot missing, the left leg ending at the knee---the stumps of both limbs withered and rotted black---
And then he sees us and hese gone.
He ran on all 4s, his damaged legs causing him to move with a strange irregular hopping motion, but the awkwardness of his movement had no effect whatsoever on his speed, and in the fraction of a second it took for him to streak across to his cage, he barely seemed to touch the floor at all. I dont even remember seeing him get up. One moment he was there – half sitting, half lying on the floor – and an instant later he was a flash of hobbling limbs flying through the dusty air and disappearing into a black hole.
Its all right, Juddah, Gilder called out softly as she followed him over to the cage. Its okay---Ime here---everythings all right---
As she stooped down in front of the cage and spoke quietly into the darkness, I heard footsteps behind us, and when I turned round I saw Cruke coming through the attic door carrying a jug of water. His head was still bleeding from where Ide hit him, the wound already swollen into an eggsized lump.
You must be thirsty, he said, passing the water to Chola Se. He looked over at Gilder, concern showing in his one good eye. How is he?
Not too bad. Ime just telling him about Chola Se and Jeet.
Cruke nodded and turned back to us. Chola Se was taking a few careful sips from the jug.
Its all right, Cruke told her. You can drink as much as you like.
What about the rationing? she said.
Ime a Councillor, Cruke said with a cynical shake of his head. Rationing doesnt apply to us.
Why not?
Because we make the rules.
Thats not right.
Of course its not. He smiled. Drink up, both of you, then come and sit with me. I need to tell you about Juddah, and you need to tell me what the hells going on.
As we sat down with Cruke on some battered old chairs, Gilder stayed with Juddah for a while – sitting on the floor in front of his cage, whispering softly into the darkness, calming his fears – and then, after about 15 minutes, she quietly left the attic and went downstairs. A short time later she returned with a tray of food – soup, bread, dried meat – together with a bowl of hot water and a clean white sheet. While Chola Se and I helped ourselves to the food and listened to Crukes story, Gilder tended to my knife wound – removing the old bandage, carefully cleaning the cut, then rebandaging my leg using strips torn from the sheet.
Juddah came into our lives just over 10 years ago, Cruke told us. He was found during one of the last hunting trips into the Deathlands before they were outlawed. No one knew how long hede been living with the dogs, or where the dogs had taken him from, and because he wasnt claimed by any of our people – and no one seemed to know anything about him – it was assumed his birth parents were Dau.
Cruke paused for a moment – helping himself to a chunk of bread and washing it down with a big gulp of water from the jug – then he carried on with the story.
Because of his physical condition, it was difficult to tell how old Juddah was when he was brought into town, but we think he was probably around 3 or 4 years old. He was barely alive when the hunters found him. They discovered him with the remains of 5 or 6 dogs in a cave to the west of the mountains. Its impossible to know exactly what happened, but from what the hunters told me – and from the state he was in when they found him – it seems likely that Juddah was living with a small family of dogs, probably just an adult pair and some of their offspring, who for some reason were attacked by a much larger group, possibly a marauding pack of male dogs from the east. It was an astonishingly savage attack. Every dog in Juddahs group had been slaughtered – their bodies ripped to pieces, skulls crushed, limbs half-eaten---the hunters told me theyd never seen anything like it. But somehow Juddah had survived. They found him cowering under the butchered remains of a large female, probably his dogmother. His lower leg was torn open to the bone, he had terrible bite wounds all over his face and body, and his right foot was missing, bitten off at the ankle. Hede lost so much blood that the hunters were convinced hede never last the 10-mile journey back to town, and they very nearly put him out of his misery there and then. But eventually it was decided that since theyd have to take his body back to town to be identified anyway, they might as well give him a chance. So they did what they could for him – binding his legs to stem the blood, making him as comfortable as possible – and they set off back to town.
As Cruke was telling us all this – his voice very quiet now – I sensed a very slight movement from somewhere behind him. We were sitting on the righthand side of the attic, not too far from the door – Cruke fac
ing the door, Chola Se next to him, with me sitting opposite them and Gilder on the floor between us – and I realized straightaway that the movement had come from Juddahs cage, which was across the other side of the attic. I didnt look over at it immediately, but instead just carried on focusing on Cruke for a while. When I did finally glance up – making sure not to look directly at the cage – I caught a brief glimpse of 2 dark eyes peering out warily from the darkness. They disappeared back into the gloom the moment I saw them, but a few moments later they edged into sight again. They were a bit farther back in the cage than before, but this time they stayed where they were.
I smiled quietly to myself and turned my attention back to Cruke.
---but he was only just alive when they got back, he was saying, and by the time the hunters got him to Doctor Shiva, Juddahs heart had actually stopped beating. And even when the Doctor got it going again, it was still touch and go for a long time. Shiva couldnt save his left leg – he had to take it off below the knee – and when we offered to be his mentors, Shiva warned us that even if Juddah recovered physically, he might never fully recover from the trauma of the attack, and it was also possible that his brain may have been damaged when his heart stopped beating.
Cruke paused again then, and as he reached out for the water jug and took another long drink, I remembered the time when Ide met him at the Olders Home, when Ide thought he was just a battle-scarred old Fighter, and that all hede ever done, and all that had ever mattered to him, was fighting and killing the Dau.
It was strange to realize how wrong Ide been.
Shiva did as much as he could, Gilder said, taking up the story, but Juddahs legs never healed properly, so hese never been able to walk upright. And he never learned to talk either. She smiled sadly. We dont know why---whether its a problem up here – she tapped her head – some kind of physical damage, or if its something else---psychological, emotional---whatever you want to call it. She shrugged and smiled again. It doesnt matter to us. We understand him, and he understands us. Thats not to say he doesnt have his problems, and of course his life up here is far from ideal--- but hese as happy as he can be most of the time, and thats all that matters really.
But whyse he up here? Chola Se said quietly. I dont understand it. Whyse he hidden away like this?
For the same reason you are, Cruke said. Deputy Pilgrim.
Pilgrim?
Cruke nodded, his eyes suddenly hard and hateful. You wont be aware of this, he said to us, but when you were being rehumanized, your progress was under continual monitoring and assessment by the Council and Deputy Pilgrim.
No, I said, shaking my head, I was never assessed.
Me neither, Chola Se added.
You were, Cruke said calmly. Trust me. It happens to every dogchild. Monitoring and assessment is a condition of rehumanization, and unless a mentor agrees to it – and agrees to it being carried out without the dogchilds knowledge – the process will either be passed to an alternative mentor or abandoned altogether.
Neither of us said anything, we just sat there, staring at Cruke, trying to digest what he was telling us. I found it almost impossible to believe – Starry would never have hidden anything from me – but at the same time I didnt get the feeling that Cruke was lying, and I couldnt think why he would be.
The assessment is based around a series of targets, he went on. Which basically means that if the dogchild doesnt meet certain standards and qualifications within set periods of time, Deputy Pilgrim has the authority to terminate the rehumanizing process and remove the dogchild from its mentors care.
What sort of standards and qualifications? Chola Se asked, frowning.
Good question, Cruke said. I asked the same thing myself on countless occasions during Juddahs rehumanization, but the only answers I ever got were the same meaningless platitudes about human values and social integration---He shook his head despairingly. They just wouldnt tell us what they wanted from him.
Why not? Chola Se said.
Because thats how they do it, he told her, his voice gripped with bitterness. Pilgrim told us once that it was up to Juddah to prove himself, and when I asked him what he actually meant by that, he just told me to hurry up and get the dog out of Juddah or else.
Or else what? Chola Se said.
Cruke sighed. About 6 months later, we were summoned to a Council meeting and informed – by Pilgrim himself – that Juddahs rehumanization process was being terminated due to insufficient progress, and that we could either hand him over to the authorities for disposal or deal with it ourselves. We were given 48 hours to decide.
Disposal?
Cruke nodded. Its what happens, Ime afraid. Juddah wasnt the first, and he wont be the last. If a dogchild cant live a life of at least some value to our people, then its life isnt just deemed to be worthless, its deemed to be positively harmful – a burden, a liability, an unnecessary strain on our limited resources---
But —
I know, Cruke said, its wrong. Its not how we should be. He shrugged. But it is. And thats how it was. And there was nothing we could do to change it. So we just had to deal with it.
He gazed down at Gilder.
She smiled – her eyes racked with tiredness and sorrow.
We told Pilgrim wede dispose of Juddah ourselves, she told us. And we worked out a plan---She shook her head. It doesnt matter how we did it. We just did. We faked Juddahs death, and ever since then hese been living up here.
It was clear that Cruke wasnt comfortable talking to us about Juddah, and once hede told us as much as he thought we needed to know, he was more than happy to change the subject and start talking about the current situation instead. And the first thing he told us was that wede been officially denounced as traitors.
The story Pilgrims putting out, he explained, is that hede suspected you of working with the Dau for quite some time, and that in the last few days hede finally discovered proof of your betrayal, and thats why you tried to kill him.
And does everyone believe him? I asked.
Cruke shrugged. His storys backed up by Kite and Glorian. They were both there when you attacked the Deputy. They say you broke into his house and tried to kill him with a shotgun.
Cruke looked at Chola Se.
Is that true?
Yes, she admitted. We did try to kill him. But weare not traitors. Hese the traitor.
Pilgrims a traitor?
She nodded. Hese also a rapist and a murderer.
It was Pilgrim who abducted Chola Se, I told Cruke. He took her and the babies, killed Aliaj and Berch, and planted evidence to frame Yael. And he killed Starry too.
Can you prove any of this?
I shook my head. Thats why we had to kill him.
But you didnt.
No, he knew we were coming for him. He was waiting for us---
I closed my eyes, trying to remember exactly what had happened in Pilgrims house – the room suddenly erupting in a burst of light and a roar of shouting voices---the deafening boom from Chola Ses shotgun---the billowing cloud of smoke and feathers and straw---
Pilgrim wasnt even in the room, Chola Se said. There was a figure in his bed, under the sheets, and we could see Pilgrims boots sticking out---but it wasnt him. It was just a straw dummy---
She looked at me.
Ime sorry, Jeet, she muttered. Its my fault. I should have waited---She shook her head. I was just so —
Its not your fault, I told her. Weare together, remember? Live together, fight together, die together. Weare one.
She smiled. Weare useless.
Yeh, but weare useless together, okay?
Okay.
Cruke went on to ask us how much we knew about the battle.
How much do you know? I asked him in return.
Very little, he admitted. I probably know a bit more than most of the townspeople because of my position on the Council, but Gun Sur hasnt shared any details with us —
Why are you on the Council? Chola Se said, interrupting
him.
What?
Youre not that kind of person, are you?
What kind of person?
You know what I mean. Youre not like the rest of them. Youre not greedy and corrupt and self-obsessed, youre just---I dont know. Youre a good person.
Ive done a lot of bad things in my time.
You were a Fighter – Fighters have to do bad things. That doesnt make you a bad person.
Cruke shrugged.
Youve got a heart, Chola Se told him, glancing at Gilder. You both have. You wouldnt have helped us otherwise. And all this – she waved her hand, indicating the attic – everything youve done for Juddah---I just dont understand how someone like you can be a Councillor.
Thats the whole point, he said.
What do you mean?
If Ime a greedy and self-obsessed Councillor, no ones going to suspect me of having a heart, are they? He smiled at her. Does that answer your question?
Ime not sure---
Well, it will have to do. Because I need some answers from you and Jeet now. I need to know exactly what Gun Sur and Pilgrim are planning---
His voice trailed off and he stopped to listen as the clamorous toll of the assembly bell began ringing out from the Quarterhouse Square.
Damn it, he said under his breath. What now?
Maybe Gun Surs going to answer your questions, I said.
Cruke looked at me.
He promised hede explain everything in due course, didnt he? I said, remembering Gun Surs speech in the Square last week. He said that when the time comes, everyone will be told exactly whats happening and what their duties will be. I glanced at Chola Se, then turned back to Cruke. I think this is it, I told him. The time has come.
Cruke nodded slowly, then started getting to his feet.
I have to go, he said to Gilder. Ile be expected, and theres bound to be a Council meeting afterwards---He looked down at Chola Se and me. But Ile still need to talk to you when I get back, because Ime not going to get the full story from Gun Sur, am I?