by Angela Peach
The marks on her face did indeed resemble scratches and although they weren't deep enough to break the skin, they looked sore.
Despite this, it was reassuring that Fred now believed me, and also because it appeared Mel was still unable to leave the flat. Anyway, Danny seemed pretty content, gnawing on a bone that Sophie had bought for him, so I wasn't worried for either of their safety just yet. He'd pick up on any changes way before Sophie would, and she was already on high alert as it was.
We stayed for just over an hour heatedly discussing things, and Freddie filled my girlfriend in on some of the things Mel used to do in life. I'd forgotten about some, like the time my credit card had been stolen and the ‘thief’ had spent nearly a grand on it. I'd called the police, filed a report and complained to the credit card company about why they hadn't noticed any fraudulent activity. It turned out the 'thief' had known my pin and...oh look! Here's some CCTV footage of them using it in a shop. Either Mel had a twin or she was lying through her teeth. So I'd confronted her, saying the police wanted to talk to her and she'd gone mad, shouting that I shouldn't have gone to the police about it, and she hadn't told me because she’d been trying to buy something as a surprise for me but I could go fuck myself if I wanted to shop her to the cops. I'd been so embarrassed calling the police to say it was all a mistake and to drop the investigation. But it was just one of the many times she'd talked her way out of a very, very bad situation, leaving me to sort out the mess.
Sophie was shocked at the stories Fred was coming out with and to be honest, hearing them now made me realise just how much I'd allowed Mel to get away with. She'd had no respect for me whatsoever, and maybe I hadn't had any respect for myself?
I was also trying to eke out my time with Sophie for as long as possible by keeping the conversation flowing, but I knew Freddie needed me to drive her home so it was with deep sadness that I agreed when she suggested we leave.
I tried my best to remain cheerful as we said our goodbyes but as we were going down the stairs to the exit, I felt myself slip into silence. It was incredibly risky for me to come here too often in case Mel managed to sense my presence and put Sophie and I together, so we'd made the hard decision to just meet outside the vicinity of the flats. This meant no staying over, unfortunately, but that was something I planned rectifying pretty sharpish.
CHAPTER 19
Over the next few days I set the wheels in motion for severing the last of my ties with Mel. I contacted the landlord and said I'd had a break-in at my flat, and that I didn't even feel safe returning for the last of my belongings. I told him I was giving my notice and that I'd have someone come for my stuff later in the week. He expressed a small amount of regret but said he'd had a few enquiries for flats lately so he was confident he could have someone in before Christmas.
When he mentioned surveying the property before returning the deposit, I felt my heart sink – that was nearly five hundred quid I could say goodbye to right now, money that would have been much needed for getting a new place. Still, Ju had kindly offered for me to stay with her until I did find somewhere, so I'd be able to save a bit of cash over the next few weeks for a deposit. I knew she was secretly excited, picturing lots of festive evenings drinking and watching Christmas films together.
I also managed to talk my Mum and Dad into letting me use their garage to store my belongings. After telling them the story about the fake break in, they felt so sorry for me they even paid for the removal van. I gave the WeMoveAll Removal company strict instructions to just bag and box everything and bring it to my mum's so I could go through and salvage anything worth saving. On the Saturday of the move, I picked Sophie and Danny up so we could at least spend the day together, even if I was going to be trawling through rubbish. I'd already begged Mum and Dad to be cool and not scare her off as this wasn't supposed to be a 'meet the parents/girlfriend' day. I don't know who was the more nervous – me from introducing Sophie to my parents so early in the relationship, them at meeting my first girlfriend since the last one killed herself, or Sophie for wanting to make a good first impression. Danny had no such nerves, and lavished plenty of attention on my parents as soon as they opened the front door.
When the three removal men arrived with my stuff they were quiet and visibly shaken, stating they had nearly sacked the job off. Things had moved of their own accord, they'd all experienced being 'touched' by some kind of invisible force, and just felt an extreme sense of urgency to get the job done and get out. I could tell they were downplaying their fear in front of each other, keeping their macho images intact. However, one of them told me in a quiet voice he understood why I'd moved out and not wanted to go back for my things.
After they left, I sadly sifted through the remnants of my belongings. At one point I shed a few tears when I found a childhood blanket was now shredded beyond repair, and Sophie had to prise it gently from my hands, suggesting I took a small break. We went indoors and Mum made us some cheesy beans on toast for lunch (holding back more tears at this point because it reminded me of my childhood lunches) and we all discussed what sort of evil person destroyed someone's flat in such a disgustingly brutal manner at Christmas. Especially, as my Dad hinted, since I probably had enough to be thinking about. I knew he was referring to Mel's suicide just before Christmas last year, but was being wonderfully tactful in front of my new girlfriend.
I could tell they liked her a lot, and things felt instantly comfortable between them. So much so that they invited us both round for New Year's Day dinner. I told them we'd get back to them about it before ushering Sophie back out to the garage, just in case any embarrassing photos suddenly surfaced.
As expected, there was almost nothing salvageable. Mel had gone to town on everything, even my underwear. None of the electrical items, like my hairdryer or laptop worked, and I guessed they would be easier to replace than repair. A few CD's and DVD’s had somehow escaped her wrath and they were placed carefully in a single box of what I'd managed to rescue.
Mum and Dad were suitably sorrowful when I told them that everything was to be dumped, and after a great big Mum-hug that I never wanted to end, Dad gave me an envelope containing a cheque for five hundred pounds. They said it wasn't enough to replace everything, but hoped it would give me a good start, and advised me to go look in certain charity shops in town for second-hand furniture. Who needs baby photos when you can embarrass yourself by crying twice in one day in front of your new girlfriend? It was safe to say I was feeling super emotional, but now I'd said goodbye to my past for good (like my entire past) and was looking forward to starting everything fresh in the New Year.
I drove Sophie and Danny back, and we went dangerously close to undressing each other in the car as we said goodbye (a long goodbye that lasted over an hour) before I returned to Julianne's place feeling emotionally drained.
The next morning I got a call from the landlord who informed me he'd only be returning three hundred pounds of my deposit and keeping the rest to repaint. As I hadn't been expecting anything back, and because I had a free day (Sophie was off visiting some of her friends who thought she'd been neglecting them) I decided to celebrate by going Christmas shopping. I bought Ju a pair of sexy heels that I knew she'd love, Freddie a hat that was just so 'her' and, after much thought about appropriate gifts for someone you've only been seeing for four weeks, I bought Sophie an unusually beautiful hand-carved chess set from a cheap thrift store. We'd had a chat about playing chess together on our hike, and I knew she didn't have a set so I purchased it excitedly, unable to believe my luck at finding such a perfect and affordable present.
I started looking to the future with positivity, and with each passing day I managed to forget about Mel a little bit more here and there. It seemed I had a habit of underestimating exactly what she was capable of.
CHAPTER 20
The twenty second of December was a Saturday, and it was also the last day I was going to be working before having five lovely days off. Pete wanted us to re-o
pen on the twenty eighth and see how busy we were. If no one came in, we had instructions to close at midday and despite needing the money, I was secretly hoping for a quiet day.
So my mood was already pretty bumped, and more so because Julianne had told me that tonight she was going over to Freddie's to watch films and have dinner. Over the last couple of weeks I'd watched them both build a very tentative relationship together, and this development was exciting for me to see. They were both extremely nervous around each other all of a sudden, and I found it sweet how they had cautiously started courting.
At lunch Fred told me Ju was now going to be staying over, and that she’d given me the go-ahead to invite Sophie over for 'whatever' and to just make sure the place was presentable for when she returned. Excited, I picked up my phone to message Sophie and there was a message from Ju saying we were welcome to use her bed, but to have clean sheets on when she got home.
I couldn't call Sophie fast enough, and she sounded as excited as I was about having a whole night together. She did, however, mention that the caretaker had posted letters to all the residents regarding the boiler. It was playing up and the heating in certain flats had been affected, but they were trying to fix the problem over the next couple of days. She asked if it was something to worry about because Danny still seemed calm but her flat was pretty damn cold. I told her the same thing had happened a few years ago with the boiler, so there shouldn't be any cause for panic.
For the rest of the day both Freddie and I seemed to struggle to concentrate on anything, getting orders mixed up or wrong altogether, and we both made an executive decision at four fifteen to close early because it was Christmas and we deserved it. (And yes, we wanted to get a head start on preparing for our evenings.)
When I got back to Ju's I had a lovely, long shower, singing along to all the classic Christmas tunes on the radio, and by the time Ju got home at five I was anxious and giddy. I was dropping her off at Fred's before going to collect Sophie, which meant waiting for her to get ready before we could leave. But during the wait, I started getting nervous. I mean, I always got nervously excited when I was going to see Sophie, but now I had pre-sex anxiety. What if I couldn't please her? What if we didn't connect in the same way sexually? What if things were awkward without the charged energy of being in a public place? What if...
“Right, let's go!” Ju shouted, tottering out of her door on ridiculous heels and expecting me to follow. I did, of course!
“Hanna, I'm shitting bricks here. I feel like a bloody virgin all over again,” Ju said, checking her lipstick in the little passenger mirror of my car.
“Wait, are you both...you know, going to sleep together?” I asked, surprised.
“Of course we're going to sleep with each other, but we're not going to have sex if that's what you mean. It's just our first proper night together and I haven't stayed over at a girlfriend's place without there being sex involved for a long time. I don't even know what to do when we get in bed? Do we kiss or just hug, or what?”
I shrugged.
“I've only slept with Mel in the last six years, so I'm probably the worst person to ask for advice. I'm having my own issues about whether I should make a move on Sophie before we go to bed or if we should wait until we go to bed or...”
“Less sex talk please. I'm not getting any so I don't wanna hear about anyone else’s,” Ju interrupted firmly.
I dropped her off outside Freddie's but before I pulled away, I messaged Sophie to tell her I'd be at the arranged pick-up shortly, popped an Airwaves chewing gum in my mouth for a boost of extra freshness and checked my reflection in the mirror. I refrained from telling myself I was 'Lookin' good' and set off.
When I saw Sophie sitting in the bus shelter with Danny, a warm fluffy cloud of contentment enveloped me like a pink marshmallow! I beeped my horn, and pulled up at the kerb, jabbing at my hazard lights so I could get out to greet them.
“Hey! Oh my god, I've mished you, yesh, oh yesh I have,” I whispered into Danny's neck as I struggled to stop him climbing all over me. He smelled fresh like pine, and from the super fluffiness of his fur I guessed Sophie had given him a little bath as well. She patiently waited impatiently until I'd coaxed him onto the backseat of the car and was able to give her my full attention. “I missed you too.”
She stepped quickly into my arms (with far more grace than he had) and kissed me, tenderly but with purpose. All my doubts and anxieties melted away, replaced with a certainty that her lips and hands couldn't possibly fail to excite me, and I'd do everything in my power to please her.
When we managed to pull away there was a serious intensity crackling between us.
“Shall we go?” she asked huskily.
“Fuck yeah!”
I blushed at my over-zealous response, but she didn't seem bothered and planted another kiss on me before hurrying into the car. I wasn't far behind.
We ran Danny around a nearby park before going into the flat and cooking a deliciously simple meal of salmon fillets and vegetables chucked on Ju's George Foreman Grill, and rice to go with it. The Avener was playing on the stereo creating an ambient and easy mood, and we'd just poured out the last of a good bottle of wine.
“I can't believe you met Amy Winehouse,” I said, shaking my head in awe. “She's like one of my heroes of music.”
“Mine too. I think when you know where her lyrics come from they make so much more of an impact, right?”
I nodded.
“I didn't really know much about her life until I saw that documentary-film, but then I couldn't get it out of my head. It was so tragic. I cried at the end!”
“Aw, you're so soppy,” Sophie said, smiling fondly at me. “But I cried too. You know, when I went through your iPod to look for something to play earlier I loved most of what was on there, but there were a lot of artists I didn't recognise. I reckon, judging from the tastes in music that we share, that I'll probably like all of them too. I'm really looking forward to exploring your iPod.”
I laughed, but inside I was beaming. I took great pride in my music collection, and was always trying to introduce Fred and Ju to new bands I'd discovered – some had proved big hits with them, like ProleteR, Gramatik, The Sound Defects and The Savages. Others like James Blake and Gogol Bordello had proved a bit too much for them.
“I'm more than happy to recommend a few for you. Discovering new music is one of my favourite things and I love trawling through YouTube and clicking on artists I've never heard of. There's so much out there and I just wish I had more time to explore them all. I mean, I don't think I'd make it through a fraction of it all even if I didn't eat or sleep for like ever.”
“What draws you to a song?” she asked, sipping her wine and holding eye contact with me. For a second I almost forgot to answer as I got lost in her brown eyes. They were truly the most beautiful shade of mahogany brown I'd ever come across, and my breath caught as a cannonball of energy hit me square in the chest, exploding like a firework. I felt an overwhelmingly strong urge to lean across and kiss her. My god, I wanted to love her, be loved by her. Her eyes fluttered slightly as if she too was thinking the same thoughts. I swallowed thickly and cleared my throat, struggling to concentrate.
“Um, well I guess I'm drawn to anything that makes me want to cry, or dance or just close my eyes and lose myself for a while. I love music that touches you deep in your soul. I think if it comes from the soul, then that's where it's gonna go when you listen to it.”
“Mm, I'll drink to that,” Sophie said, raising her wine glass. I clinked mine against it and we both drank, draining them in one swig.
“I'll go get another bottle,” I said, standing and taking the empty one to the kitchen with me. But before I could open the fridge, I heard Sophie come in behind me and I turned. She hesitated for a second, looking at me hungrily, then she closed the gap and pressed her lips insistently to mine, deep and full of meaning. Wine forgotten, I responded eagerly. She tugged at my jumper, and I wished I'd worn
a cardigan and a front clasping bra so that I could have removed all my clothing without breaking the kiss. But within seconds it was off and thrown on the floor as I tried to shuffle us in the general direction of the bedroom. Her hands were all over me creating wonderful sensations in their wake and, needing the same, I pulled her top until it came awkwardly over her head. Our mouths crashed back together and my hands had full reign over her smooth back. I squinted open one of my eyes to see where we were, then I maneuvered us slowly, banging into the wall several times on the way.
Clothes were removed and discarded in super quick time, and then...
Then we were naked.
We took a few seconds to admire each other, but then the need to touch and explore took over. Her body was velvety soft, just as I'd known it would be, shaping and fitting against mine perfectly. With her tongue thrusting deep into my mouth, she ran her hand down my body, confident of the desired destination, but as her fingers trailed past my navel she pulled away, teasing me.
“Get on the bed,” she ordered, lust darkening her eyes. I practically threw myself down and stared up at her with a hunger, a desire I'd never experienced before. A smile flickered across her swollen red lips as she ran her gaze over me, causing my clit to pulse with impatient need, and then she slowly climbed on top of me, holding my hands against the bed with her own. I watched, completely mesmerised by the transformation from Sweet and Cute Sophie to Sexy Vixen Sophie. “You've been driving me crazy since I met you and I'm going to enjoy every second of driving you crazy!”