Clearing her mind from the wayward thoughts that sprang to mind with the realization of just how much she enjoyed watching her husband loosen up as the day progressed, she forced a smile and inclined her head.
“Good afternoon,” she said, pleased that she’d managed to keep her voice even.
A slight frown creased Robert’s brow at her cool manner, but he bowed briefly and waited for her to take a seat on the settee. Instead of resuming his seat, he crossed the space between them and lowered himself onto the settee next to her. She had to stifle the impulse to stand and move to one of the chairs, knowing that Robert would take her action as proof she was still affected by his nearness when the opposite was true.
“I am surprised you are here.”
He smiled at her, and a spark of alarm ignited within her when she saw the mischief in his eyes. “Aren’t you going to offer me refreshments, Sarah? I think the company you’ve been keeping of late hasn’t improved your manners.”
Somehow she held back the rebuke that sprang to her lips. It wouldn’t do to make an enemy of this man, not when she was already worried about the motivation for his visit. It was entirely possible, after all, that Robert was here because he was hoping to get closer to Emily.
But the last thing she would do was give him reason to stay longer than necessary and risk having James return to find them alone together. Again.
“I trust your parents are well?”
Robert pursed his lips in a moue of disappointment, and Sarah felt a stab of irritation at the affectation. “Come now, let us not pretend to be mere acquaintances exchanging polite pleasantries. I think you know why I am here.”
She’d almost convinced herself that he was there to see Emily, but the way his eyes kept creeping down to her décolletage suggested otherwise. Much as she hated his presumption, she was relieved that she’d been mistaken. She could handle Robert. Emily, however, was far too young and innocent, and she feared it would take very little effort on Robert’s part to cause her sister-in-law to fall in love with him.
“Don’t be coy, Robert. You know I don’t enjoy guessing games.”
He made a soft tsking sound and gave her a meaningful look. “I’m here about my proposal.”
She wasn’t surprised. Robert always did think that the world revolved around him. Still, his audacity almost took away her breath. “You would actually approach me here, in my husband’s home, to suggest I betray my wedding vows?”
Robert lifted a shoulder in a casual shrug. “Your husband’s habits are very predictable. He’s so enamored with the construction of his new stables—” The twist of his lips told her clearly what he thought of her husband’s plans to continue breeding horses. “He won’t even know I was here. But if you prefer, we can make arrangements to meet elsewhere. I know you’ll be leaving for Town soon. It shouldn’t be too difficult to arrange a meeting while you’re there.”
He ended with a broad wink, and Sarah was almost embarrassed for him. How could he be so delusional as to think she would fall into his arms after the way he had cast her aside? Clearly he thought himself so irresistible that she would be content to accept whatever scraps of attention he chose to give her.
“You would be mistaken.” Her husband’s voice came from the doorway, and with a gasp she turned to see him standing there, the breadth of his shoulders almost encompassing the whole opening. Sarah had never seen James’s eyes so cold and hard. From the way he was clenching his fists, it was clear he’d heard enough of their conversation to know the reason for Robert’s visit.
Robert leaped to his feet. “I’m not sure what you think you heard—”
“I heard you propositioning my wife.” James moved into the room, his anger palpable in the tense atmosphere that settled over the room. Wisely, Robert took a step back, but he wasn’t quick enough to escape her husband. James grabbed him roughly by the throat and bent Robert’s right arm behind his back. The slighter man clutched at James’s arm with his left hand, but he was powerless to move him.
Shocked at James’s display of anger, Sarah stood on shaky legs and could only watch, frozen, as he yanked Robert closer to him.
“If you wish to live to see another day, you will put all thoughts of my wife behind you. If your paths should cross in public, you will acknowledge her as is befitting her station and then continue on your way.” His face was now mere inches away from Robert’s. “But if I ever find you alone with her again—or learn that you’ve been alone with her, and you can rest assured that I will hear about it—I will take great pleasure in making sure you regret that action. Do I make myself clear?”
A gurgle of sound emerged from Robert’s throat, but he nodded his assent with a frantic, jerky movement, his eyes wild with terror.
For one heart-stopping moment, Sarah wasn’t sure James would release Robert. When he finally did, he flung him away and Robert stumbled backward. Sarah cried out, visions of Robert lying in a broken heap on the floor crowding her mind.
James cast her a look that threatened to steal her breath, for in it she saw hurt. He believed she would betray him. And why wouldn’t he? She’d never told him what had actually taken place between her and Robert at the Vaughans’ Christmas party. Instead, she’d allowed her husband to continue to believe the words that her foolish pride had spurred her to utter… that she would one day betray him.
He turned and glared at Robert as he scurried from the room. They remained frozen in place—James facing the doorway and Sarah staring at his back—as they listened to the sound of the front door opening and slamming closed.
When James turned to face her again, the hurt she’d glimpsed was gone. In its place there remained only anger.
“I need to explain—”
“Don’t.” The harshly spoken word stopped her in her tracks.
“But that wasn’t what it seemed—”
His harsh laugh caused an odd shifting sensation somewhere in the vicinity of her heart.
“I don’t need your explanations. Your actions have spoken volumes.”
With that, he turned and strode from the room.
As she watched him retreat from her, clarity entered her mind. She realized that she’d done the very thing she’d vowed never to allow—she’d fallen in love with her husband. Even worse, she’d led him to believe that she was the type of woman to whom he could never entrust his own heart.
Her legs gave way and she collapsed onto the settee. How could she have allowed that to happen? And more importantly, how was she going to protect herself from this new heartbreak?
Having grown up with a father who railed against any slight, whether real or imagined, Sarah thought she’d prefer the polite distance James now showed her. It came as a shock, therefore, to discover that his icy demeanor had an agonizing effect on her emotions.
She couldn’t stop thinking about the hurt she’d seen in his eyes and hated herself for having caused it. She tried on several occasions to explain that she had no intention of betraying her marriage vows. After he cut her off for the third time, she realized the effort was futile and stopped trying to raise the subject. There was another subject she wanted to raise with James, but the distance between them made it impossible.
That week dragged by slowly, made even longer by the fact that James didn’t visit her at night. She tried to occupy her time with preparations for their trip to London, but there wasn’t a great deal for her to do. They’d only be staying a few days before heading to the Earl of Sanderson’s estate just outside of Town to attend his wedding to James’s aunt.
She attempted to escape into the little artist’s studio James had set up for her but found that drawing or painting brought her no joy. Her heart ached each time she looked at the set of oil paints her husband had given her at Christmas. She could only hope that getting away from this house, away from reminders of what her husband thought he had witnessed, would ease the strain between them.
She counted on Emily and her mother-in-law’s presenc
e to help defuse the tension during the trip to London. When the date for the departure arrived, however, she was disappointed to learn that only she and James would be making the journey. Mrs. Hathaway had fallen ill with the grippe and Emily was to stay behind to care for her mother.
The trip to town was made in one day with a short, awkward break at an inn for a midday meal. If Sarah had thought the week leading up to that day was long, it was nothing to riding alone within the stifling interior of the Hathaway coach. Instead of keeping her company, James chose to spend the majority of the trip on horseback.
Sarah had hoped the enforced confinement of their trip would allow her to share the news she had received the day before. The doctor had visited while James was at the stables and confirmed her suspicion that she was with child. She wanted to tell James, but it was impossible when he went out of his way to avoid her company.
By the time the carriage arrived at James’s town house—a residence that was much larger than the other houses in the very fashionable Mayfair neighborhood—dusk was falling and exhaustion pulled at her. She hadn’t been able to sleep during the journey, her mind spinning as she tried to imagine how James would react upon hearing her news. A part of her wondered if he’d already learned of the doctor’s visit. Did he already suspect she was with child and just not care?
She tried to push that horrible thought away, but it was impossible to keep from dwelling on the negative. Especially when James didn’t take her arm after helping her down from the carriage.
The butler opened the front door just as they reached it. This was Sarah’s first visit to the Hathaway town house, and she braced herself for the inevitable introduction to the staff. Fortunately, the servants weren’t as numerous as at Hathaway Park and that formality was soon over.
Finally Sarah allowed her curiosity free rein and wandered into the drawing room. She could only stare, amazed that the decor was even more ostentatious than that of the estate. The marble floor was polished to a mirrorlike shine, and the walls were covered in a paper that, if she wasn’t mistaken, actually had gold embossing. She tried to imagine what the rest of the house would look like and found that her imagination wasn’t up to the task.
“I didn’t think it was possible for any house to be more ornate than Hathaway Park.”
“I thought you’d like it,” James said, his eyes cold as he stared at her. “But you did agree to marry me for my money, after all.”
It was the most he’d said to her in days, and she barely caught herself from flinching as the harsh words tore through her.
She didn’t reply, needing desperately to get away from James before she broke down into tears. She turned to the butler, who was standing off to the side, pretending not to have heard James’s insult.
“I’d like to see my room now. I find that I’m quite fatigued from the journey.” She turned back to James, adding, “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll have a tray sent up to my room.”
James frowned, but in that moment Sarah didn’t care if he could see just how much his words had wounded her. As she followed the butler up the stairs to her bedroom, she could feel the weight of her husband’s gaze on her back. She made sure to keep her spine straight and her head held high.
Chapter 12
Two agonizing days had dragged by since their arrival in London. Interminable days during which Sarah only saw her husband at dinner. She filled the time by becoming acquainted with the staff and the manner in which the town house was run. They wouldn’t be staying long enough for her to impose any changes, but it soon became apparent that none were needed. She wasn’t surprised since she knew how fastidious James’s uncle had been. With her marriage, she might just have inherited one of the best staffs in all of London, rivaled only by the small army employed in the upkeep of Hathaway Park.
She tried to pass the time sketching but was acutely aware of every minute that passed without seeing her husband. At night she waited for him to join her but dropped, alone, into an exhausted sleep. Faced with James’s cool demeanor at dinner, she still hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell him that she was increasing.
When the morning of the wedding of the dowager Viscountess Hathaway finally arrived, Sarah found herself alone in the carriage with her husband. Unlike their journey to Town, James chose not to ride alongside the carriage. She knew him well enough now to realize he was self-conscious about how others perceived him. He wouldn’t want to arrive at the wedding smelling like the stables.
She spent that hour-long drive buffeted by emotion. Wanting to reach out to her husband, tell him that she did not see him as wanting… that, in fact, she found him more noble than most of the men of her acquaintance. Yet fear that he’d scorn her outpouring of sentiment held her back.
Or worse, that he’d laugh at her for hoping that his feelings for her went beyond enjoying their time in bed together. She couldn’t shake the suspicion that he didn’t actually like her since she hadn’t seen any indication that he wanted to know her outside of the bedroom.
Well, except for his behavior on Christmas morning. She hadn’t even realized that he’d given any thought to her love for drawing and painting. Surely a man who’d gone to the effort to give her something so meaningful must care for her, even if just a little.
Their arrival at the Earl of Sanderson’s estate brought an end to her internal turmoil. As the carriage drew to a halt, she glanced sideways at James, where he sat looking out the carriage window, and sighed. Even if she couldn’t tell him about her emotions, she’d have to find the courage to breach the distance between them and tell him he would soon be a father.
James held himself stiffly, an indication that the trip had been equally uncomfortable for him. Despite that, Sarah couldn’t help but admire how handsome he was as she drank in his profile. Her fingers itched to explore the hard muscles that lay beneath the fabric of his waistcoat. She wanted to trail her hand upward, ease the stiffness of his jaw, see his mouth curve into that wicked smile he gave her when he was about to make love to her.
She ached from the need coursing through her in that moment.
Her heart fell when the carriage drew to a halt and James remained seated, waiting for a footman to open the carriage door and help her down instead of preceding her and handling that task himself. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much she’d been looking forward to that small amount of physical contact from him.
As it was almost time for the marriage ceremony, they were greeted by one of the earl’s sisters. After welcoming them, she summoned a footman to show them to their bedroom. She and James would be staying the night before returning to Hathaway Park in Northampton on the morrow.
James barely entered the room they were to share, remaining just inside the doorway when the footman left to collect the one trunk they’d packed for their brief stay and to summon a maid to help Sarah dress.
James cleared his throat before meeting her gaze. “The ceremony will begin in just over an hour. I’ll leave you now to…” James faltered only momentarily, but it was enough to tell Sarah that her husband could hardly wait to quit her company. “I’ll return to fetch you when it’s time.”
“You needn’t put yourself out,” she said, unable to hold back her own annoyance. Really, was it so difficult for him to pretend that he could tolerate her presence? “I’m sure a footman will be able to show me the way to the chapel.”
He offered her a curt nod before turning and leaving her alone. The sound of the door closing behind him sounded unnaturally loud in the still room. Sarah let out a silent scream of annoyance and flung herself onto the bed. Her waspishness toward her husband certainly wasn’t helping the situation, but if he’d wanted a meek wife who would be content to have whatever scrap of attention he threw her way with nary a word or raised brow, he’d married the wrong woman.
An hour later, Sarah found herself following another footman to the chapel situated a short walk north of the Sanderson estate. She’d managed to steady her ner
ves, and she was determined to close the gap that had grown between her and James.
The maid who had been sent up to help her dress had teased her hair out from the practical knot she’d worn for the carriage ride. Thankfully, her natural curls didn’t require a lot of attention, and now they framed her face in what she knew was a becoming manner. She’d chosen to wear a deep blue gown that was cut just low enough to showcase her breasts, and she knew the color complemented her fair coloring. She didn’t bother trying to deny to herself that she was hoping to ensnare James’s attention. They were sharing a room for the night, after all. Surely when they retired for the evening, he’d finally make love to her again. Afterward, she’d tell him about her condition.
James was waiting outside the chapel and when he saw her, his eyes dropped to her bodice. Instead of the desire she’d hoped to see when he lifted his gaze to hers again, his expression was carefully neutral. She squelched her disappointment and smiled at him when she took his arm, her heartbeat sounding unnaturally loud to her own ears as they entered the chapel.
It was maddening how much he wanted the woman standing by his side, the warmth of her small hand on his arm seeming to burn a hole through his coat. James had to struggle against the almost overwhelming need to draw Sarah into his arms.
The ride down from London had been bad enough, the intimate interior of the carriage ensuring he was aware of her every breath, the scent of her filling his nostrils. It had taken every ounce of willpower he possessed to leave the bedroom the footman had shown them to. Only the memory of the horrified expression on his wife’s face when he’d threatened the man she still loved had given him the strength to turn away from her.
Lord Hathaway's New Bride Page 9