“Nope.” Wyatt replaced his hand with a soft cloth rattle. “My parents knew my self-esteem was bad enough without adding fuel to the fire.”
“Your sibs would have teased you?”
“We were kids. And growing up, as you probably recall, the four of us boys were rowdy as hell.” His lips quirked. “Of course they would have teased me! And then suffered the consequences. But by then it wouldn’t have mattered because the damage would have been done. So my parents never said anything to them, and I was grateful for it. ’Cause—” he jerked in a ragged breath and sat up “—I didn’t want anyone to know, either.”
Adelaide studied his stricken expression. Seeing the babies were beginning to tire, she turned them onto their backs and got the swaddling cloths. “You should have told me.”
Wyatt scoffed. “Miss A-Plus Student? If you recall, you were always telling me to hit the books a little harder.”
Her turn to feel stinging shame, Adelaide swallowed. “I’m sorry. I—”
“Don’t be.” He swaddled Jenny as well as she swaddled Jake. “As you can see, I succeeded despite everything.” He leveled her with a glance. “I just want to know that if it does turn out that our kids have any similar deficit...” he said huskily.
“I—we—will find a way to help them overcome it, just as your parents did for you,” Adelaide promised vehemently. She reached across the bed to clasp his hand. “But we won’t keep it a secret. We’ll make it a badge of honor, a symbol of raw courage and grace, from the get-go.”
He squeezed her hand back, hard. Briefly they stood and embraced. Yet it still felt like so much was left unsaid, so Adelaide came back to him after they had put the sleepy twins to bed. His look said he knew she wanted to ask him something. Just wasn’t sure how to do so.
“Yes...?” he prodded gently.
Adelaide got two beers out of the fridge. “Were the ‘three Ds’ the reason your mom has sort of always hovered over you a little more than your sibs?”
He added a hunk of sharp cheddar and a package of crackers. They carried their treat to the living room and settled on the sofa. With a fire burning cozily in the grate, the house quiet, it was the perfect time to talk. “In retrospect, I can see they were trying to protect me. To keep me from making the wrong decision and/or failing and being hurt, but it was their lack of faith in me that really stung.”
Adelaide tipped her bottle to his. “Is this why you rely so heavily on your gut?”
“Yep.” He savored the first taste of the golden brew. “I can’t allow myself to overthink anything. Otherwise, I become paralyzed with the fear I’ll let everyone close to me down.”
She wished she could make every past hurt fade away. “I believe in you.”
He returned her quiet glance with a wry smile. “One of the things I’ve always loved best about you.”
Loved, Adelaide mused, as another silence fell. How she wished that were true, more desperately than she had realized. But she knew better than anyone that loving something about someone or even loving the way they could make you feel was not the same as being in love with him or her.
Yes, they got on well. Shared twins now. Made spectacular love. But would that be enough? she worried. It was for now. But always...?
He misunderstood her silence. “It’s okay, Adelaide,” he said gruffly, setting aside their beverages and taking both her hands in his. “I never meant for this to be that big a deal with us. I just wanted you to know because of the pediatrician appointment coming up... I plan to ask the doctor about it. See at what point testing can be done.”
“Except it’s not okay, Wyatt.” She leaned toward him. “It’s still going on, isn’t it? With your mom? It’s the reason she sent you all those articles on being a good parent and husband straight off the bat.”
“That—and she was matchmaking.”
Adelaide shook her head. Wondering if Lucille knew how much her continued lack of faith was quietly devastating her son. “Because she didn’t want you to blow it.”
His brow lifted. An inscrutable expression crossed his face. “Am I?”
“No.” She shifted over onto his lap, so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders. She buried her face in the comforting crook of his neck and hugged him tightly. “Not at all,” she whispered in his ear.
“Good.” He grinned. “Because that’s the last thing I want.”
His mouth came down on hers. Powerful. Evocative. She knew he needed to make love as much as she did. Needed the intense intimate connection that only the physical could bring.
Had they been in love again...
But they weren’t.
Might never be.
She wasn’t sure it was necessary, though, not when they had so much else going for them. The least of which was the children they adored.
Needing him naked, she unsnapped his shirt, tugged it off, then the T-shirt beneath. He paused to grin indulgently at her. “Taking the lead tonight, darlin’?”
“Appears so.” She went to work on his jeans. Tugged those off, too. Found a condom, rolled it on. “I need you inside me.”
His eyes heated. “Inside you is good. Very good. And to that end...”
He drew her to her feet, stripped her bare, then sank on the sofa, pulling her back onto his lap. The insides of her thighs rubbed against the outside of his. The hardness of his erection teased the feminine heart of her. As he moved to push all the way inside, the burden she’d been carrying for what seemed forever began to fade. Guilt and regret replaced by raw, aching need. Something that went deeper than lust and was far more satisfying than simply sex.
Making love with him pulled at her heart and stirred all her senses. The clean musky scent of him, the smooth warm satin of his skin. The hardness of his muscles. The pulsing heat and force of his erection.
All combined with the tempting quest of his lips, the erotic sweep of his tongue, the all-encompassing way he could kiss her, until she was awash in pleasure.
Wyatt knew she’d reached out to him out of empathy and a need to comfort him. A better man would have rejected that. Not him. Not when he wanted her the way he did. In his house, with his kids, and with him. In bed and out, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And he wanted her to know it as he ran his hands over her supple curves and kissed her with an intensity that took their breath away. Whether or not she realized it, Adelaide had been his destiny, and she his, the first moment they’d met. He saw it in the way she’d always looked at him, like the sun rose and set in his eyes. He’d enjoyed it every time he made her laugh or smile. And felt it in every touch, every lingering caress.
Satisfaction unfurled within him as he turned her so they were stretched out, facing each other, her leg thrown across his hip. His own body quaking with the effort it took to suppress his own needs, he slid home once again. Gliding a hand between them, he caressed her gently, kissing her all the while, dragging his chest across her creamy breasts and rosy nipples, until her skin was so hot it burned and her hips rose instinctively to meet his, her open thighs rubbing with delicious friction against his. With a soft moan of delight, she kissed him with deep, urgent kisses that washed away all the heartache of the past and rocked his soul.
His own need spiraling, he shifted positions so she was beneath him. As he entered her again, she shuddered with pleasure and whimpered low in her throat, surrendering to him, to the two of them, as never before. He pinned her arms above her head, going slow and deep, until her body took up the same timeless rhythm as his, trembling and clenching around him. And then all was lost in the heat and tenderness that surrounded them.
* * *
The next day, while getting ready for the pediatrician appointment, Adelaide brought the conversation back to a topic he had hoped was closed. At least for now.
Adelaide packed the diaper bag. “I think you should tell your sibling
s. Not just because LDs can run in families...”
As he looked at his wife, Wyatt was almost sorry he let the information out. The empathy and compassion of the night before felt like pity this morning. Which was the hell of learning disabilities. He never knew if he was being oversensitive, or suddenly just aware of how others saw him. Somehow deficient. Less than... In need of...
He forced himself to sound casual. “Been reading up on it?”
They eased the twins into their matching white fleece outerwear.
Adelaide’s cheeks turned pink. “A little.” She handed him the diaper bag, looped her shoulder bag over her arm. They scooped up the twins and carried them out to her SUV. The day was crisp and cold, but sunny. “I plan to do a lot more.”
He liked the way she protected him. It felt right somehow. Always had. “You’re a great wi—” He stopped at the frozen expression on her face. “Ah, friend,” he corrected. “Anyone ever told you that?” He bent to make sure Jake was securely strapped in.
She did the same on the other side of the vehicle, for Jenny.
“Not the ‘wife’ part. But friend, yeah.”
They straightened and climbed in. He returned her wry grin. “Sorry. I didn’t want to offend you.”
She watched him fit the key into the ignition. “You won’t.”
He liked the fact she let him drive. “I don’t know.” He gave her the slow, sexy once-over. “Some of those articles my mom sent me said some new moms can be pretty sensitive.”
She snorted at his teasing. “I wouldn’t worry about riling me up. But we do need to be concerned about being late to our appointment if we don’t get a move on...”
Wyatt had planned to ask Adelaide what to expect as they drove into town. Unfortunately, she had a call from Molly and Chance regarding her renovation. There were several issues that needed discussion and resolution, and Adelaide spent the entire time working those out.
They arrived at the medical arts building and because they were the first appointment after lunch, were immediately ushered into an exam room by the nurse.
“So who have we here?” the nurse asked, looking at Wyatt.
“This is Jenny and Jake’s daddy, Wyatt Lockhart.”
“Right. I think I heard something about the two of you being married.” Her glance went to their bare left hands. “Or, ah,” she stammered, embarrassed to have possibly spoken out of turn.
“No. We are, actually,” Adelaide said.
“And have been for the last ten years,” Wyatt added.
The nurse shot him a look. “It’s a long story,” he said.
She looked torn between bemusement and concern. “I imagine so. Well, get the babies undressed down to their diapers. I’ll be back in to weigh and measure them and then Dr. McCabe will be in.”
“You said they have to get shots today?” Wyatt took his last chance to ask the questions he hadn’t been able to voice earlier.
“Yes,” Adelaide whispered back. “And let’s not talk about it. I get nervous just thinking about it. And I don’t want Jake and Jenny to feel my anxiety.”
The odd thing was, Wyatt was beginning to feel a little worried about it, too. Which was weird, since he’d given plenty of shots to his horses. And never had a problem watching anyone else get an immunization, either.
Lacey McCabe breezed in. The mother of six grown daughters, the veteran pediatrician was known for her warmth and understanding. Which was why, Adelaide had explained to Wyatt the previous day, she had chosen Lacey as their babies’ primary physician.
“So how is it going?” Lacey asked, checking the soft spots on Jake’s head. She looked into his ears and eyes. “Get them on a schedule yet?”
“Sort of,” Adelaide said.
Lacey examined the inside of Jake’s mouth, then his skin. She paused to put a stethoscope in her ears, then bent to listen to Jake’s heart and lungs. The little guy was so patient and cooperative, Wyatt couldn’t help but be proud of him.
Lacey palpitated Jake’s’s abdomen, gently tested the movement of his hips and legs. Then undid the diaper and checked out that area, too. Finished, she handed Jake back to Wyatt and motioned for Adelaide to step forward and lay Jenny on the examining table, which she did. While the nurse took notes, Lacey began the same exam, all over again. “How long are they sleeping at night?” Lacey asked over her shoulder.
Adelaide smiled as Jenny cooed happily up at Lacey. “Four and a half hours straight if we’re lucky. After that, they could wake up again anywhere from two to three hours.”
Lacey grinned back at her small patient as she checked out her navel. “And how long are they awake then?”
Adelaide looked at Wyatt for confirmation. “Usually at least an hour. Sometimes two,” he said. Liking the fact that Adelaide was giving him a chance to participate, too.
Lacey lifted Jenny off the table and gave her back to Adelaide. “Congratulations, Mom, Dad. Everything looks great on both of them. Now, what questions can I answer for you?”
While the nurse prepared the immunizations, Wyatt explained about his learning disabilities. Lacey listened intently. “LDs do run in families, but that doesn’t mean your children will have them. We’ll put notes in their charts, though, to be on the lookout. And if we find any deficiencies we’ll get them the help they need immediately.”
“Thanks,” Wyatt said, feeling immensely relieved to have this out there.
“We appreciate that,” Adelaide said.
“Anything else?” Lacey asked.
Adelaide and Wyatt exchanged glances and shook their heads.
Lacey went into efficiency mode. “Okay, we’re going to get this next part over with as quickly as possible.”
Thank heaven for that, Wyatt thought. He wasn’t looking forward to the shots any more than Adelaide was.
“So what I’m going to do is have Daddy step outside with little Jake while we do Jenny’s immunizations. And then we’ll switch places, and have Mommy step outside with Jenny while Daddy comes back in with Jake.”
The nurse opened the door. Just that quickly, Wyatt found himself out in the hall facing a collage of patient photos, all pinned to the middle of sunflowers. On the other side of the exam room door, he heard Lacey talking and Adelaide murmuring soothingly, followed by an indignant scream and hysterical crying.
Wyatt bit down on an oath. He couldn’t even see anything and already empathetic tears were welling in his eyes. He was supposed to be the man here. His little guy was depending on him; they all were. Working to get it together, Wyatt blinked furiously as little Jake—who had no idea what was coming next—snuggled happily against his chest.
On the other side of the door, another indignant scream pierced the air, followed by more heartrending sobbing. Wyatt paced. Finally, for what seemed an eternity but in reality took only twenty seconds, the crying lessened and stopped.
The exam room door opened. Her eyes swimming with tears, Adelaide stepped out, comforting their little girl. Happy the traumatic episode was over, for Jenny anyway, Wyatt flashed Adelaide a reassuring look, then followed Lacey into the exam room.
“Let’s put Jake here.” She pointed to one end of the cushioned table. “We don’t want Jake to be able to push the syringe away, so you’re going to have to gently hold his hands above his head. Yes, that’s it. The first vaccination is oral, so we’re going to slip it in and let Jake swallow it.”
That was easy enough, Wyatt noted nervously, although his son didn’t particularly seem to like the taste.
“Next we’re going to have two injections. One on each thigh. We’ll do them as quickly as we can.” Lacey swabbed the area on Jake’s upper left thigh, rubbing the area gently in preparation. “While you talk to him to distract him.”
How had Adelaide managed this? His throat wouldn’t even work! Lacey gave him a look, as if wondering if he was
going to be able to man up. Wyatt found a surge of testosterone and smiled down at his son. “It’s okay, buddy. It’s all going to be over in a minute...” he soothed.
Lacey skillfully delivered the first injection.
Jake started in shock as the needle pierced his skin, grimaced, then drew in a breath and let out a cry even louder than his sister’s. He was still sobbing like his little heart would break as the nurse moved in to put pressure on the wound and bandage the left thigh, while Lacey prepared, and administered, another shot into Jake’s upper right leg. Jake—who had never stopped sobbing—wailed even more.
Lacey picked him up and handed him to Wyatt, tenderly giving little Jake’s shoulder a final pat. “It’s all over, little one,” she promised. “Your daddy will make you feel all better.”
And indeed, cuddled against Wyatt’s chest, Jake had already stopped his sobbing. The nurse and doctor slipped out while Jake leaned back, staring up at Wyatt with wounded, tear-filled eyes. Seeming to say, How could you have let that happen to me, Daddy? I thought you cared about me!
And at that, Wyatt just lost it.
Adelaide came back in the room, her face damp. “Dr. McCabe said we can get them dressed now.” She caught his gaze, and seeing his overflowing emotion, began to cry again.
So Wyatt did the only thing he could. He gathered her and Jenny into an embrace with him and little Jake. Together, the four of them took the time to pull themselves together.
* * *
“Well, that went well, don’t you think?” Adelaide quipped as the four of them finally made their way to her SUV, post-immunization instructions in hand.
Wyatt shook his head, knowing there was only one person in the world he could have let see him that vulnerable. Fortunately, she did not seem to think any less of him for his inability to man up there at the end. “I really did not think I was going to cry.”
She poked fun at herself. “That’s the difference between us. I knew I was going to lose it.”
Aware he’d never felt more bonded to her and the kids than he did at that moment, he fell into step beside her. Soberly, he reflected, “We’re going to have to toughen up before the next round of immunizations, though. Because even if the twins don’t recognize a syringe in two months, they certainly will after that.” They didn’t want their anxiety transferring to their kids, the way his parents’ fear over his LDs had transferred to him.
Claiming the Texan's Heart Page 14