by Susan Firman
CHAPTER 14
Næmr was watched all night. She sat in a far corner of the Great Hall, her back leaning into a timbered crutch. She could not sleep or even doze, for in her troubled and turmoiled mind, she ached for the child she knew she would never see again.
As the faint dimness of dawn passed down through the smoke outlet, Næmr began to prepare herself mentally for the ordeal that lay ahead. She thought of her brave husband and how he had fought the evil Bodvarr until the bitter end. She was the wife of a warrior, and she was not going to let herself be killed without a fight of her own. She made up her mind that Bodvarr would not find it so easy this time to subdue her.
The tall man led her away from the village and towards the conifer and oak forests that covered the lower slopes of the mountain that reached into the sky. They passed by Yggdrasil. The great, grey twisted branches hung hidden under snow, thick and white. As they passed, she remembered Vestlasa and how how she had instructed her in the religion of the settlement. She remembered the Althing, sitting and listening to the complaints brought before it. And she remembered her two best friends: Yalda and Heggar - faces now, just like the faces of Koro, her father and mother and all those she had left behind somewhere else.
As they left Yggdrasil and walked towards the flat-topped sacrificial rock, she tried to swallow the tears of regret which were beginning to swell up and choke her. She thought of her child’s birth cord that she had buried here: a love that connected her and her child with this spot until time met its end. She could not hold back the tears any longer and they tears ran down her cheeks and solidified into beads of pearls as they hit the frozen ground. Would her child ever be told of his birth mother and father?
“Come! Faster, you whore!”
The tall man was in a hurry to be back in the village before the blackness of night descended. The low orb of the weak winter sun hung just below the bottom of bleak, grey cloud that had draped itself around the hills for most of the day. He tugged cruelly at the woven twine that bound her hands and laughed at her attempts to stay upright.
Together, they climbed upwards in silence, leaving behind the straggly, clinging pines that precariously gripped Jotenfjell’s rocky surface.
White mists swirled like a vapour cloud before them. The tall man stopped. He cut the twine that bound her wrists. This time he intended to enjoy his hunt. This time he did not intend to fail.
The young woman stood proud. She was the wife of a warrior. She was not afraid to die. She was now prepared to stand firm against the bearded man, his silver-white hair like the cold, pale moon.
She stood with her eyes fixed on his body, watching for him to make the slightest move. This time she was prepared.
She could feel the solid shape of a dagger she had concealed well beneath her clothes, close to her flesh. During the long night, someone had come up to her and brushed against her skirt. She did not see who it was but when she moved to adjust her aching back, she had found it there. The dagger had been carefully placed between her feet. Someone did not intend for her to die.
“What have I done to you, Bodvarr the Bellower?”
“Everything!” He snapped the answer with a snarl.
“Why do you hate me so?”
“Because of Halldorr!”
“What’s Halldorr got to do with it?” she asked.
“You should have been mine. You should have been my slave!”
“I was freed from any obligation to you. The Council gave their word.”
“Council! Bah! What did I care for the Council? A bunch of old men! I’m the Council now and I make the rules.”
Her hand moved slowly upwards to touch the dagger’s hilt. She focused on the space that separated her from the threatening man.
“I am the lawful wife of Halldorr!”
He laughed a rough, synical laugh.
“Halldorr, bah! I found you! I should have owned you!”
She flinched at the memory. The cold and the mountain had sharpened her mind and crystalised the memory of that time.
“I came as a free-woman. I chose Halldorr, not you!”
She could not permit herself to weaken. She worked her mind through the steps she would have to take the moment he made his advancement.
The white mist thickened. Its bleached alabaster fingers folded around her and whispered of death.
“For Thor and for Jotenfjell!” She could see his warm breath vapourize before his face. “I give you back th . . .”
His words were absorbed into the freezing air and she never heard the end of his threat.
But now the time had arrived for him to make his move. His hand reached for the axe held by his wide leather belt.
Without hesitation, she threw off her cape and pulled the dagger from her breast. She flicked the blade at him, the whites of her eyes catching the reflection of the ice.
“I also come from warrior stock! I will have revenge for Halldorr’s death!”
He laughed a cruel laugh in the depths of his throat.
“Revenge? Ha! There’s no future for you here!”
He began to advance towards her, moving slowly and deliberately like a cat on a hunt. But she was no prey and made ready to fight for her life. Her body stiffened. Her grip was tighter. Her senses far keener than they had ever been before.
Instantly her mind became crystal clear. The fragmented memories that had confused her so many times before fused together with such clarity that she became aware of a new reality. What had Bodvarr just said only moments ago? That she had no future in this place? Of course not. It could not be. Her past was the future and now that future lay before her, somewhere past the icy cold rock surface of Jotenfjell.
“My God!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been here before!”
Thick, white mist swirled around her, opalescent in its writhing dance. She could no longer see the tall man, threatening and advancing towards her. But she could still feel his presence; his hot breath moving closer and closer.
Her fingers ached with the cold. Her breathing was painful and she wanted to rip out her lungs and rub warmth back into them. She could feel her blood cool and knew that within a minute she would succumb to the cold.
She summoned all the remaining strength she could muster and hurled the dagger into the blinding, white void before her.
The silence was overwhelming. The intense cold burned deep within her body and desired her life. How the pain hurt! How the numbness ached as it crept slowly up her limbs. She shut her eyes tight as she tried to force it back with her mind.
I will not give in, she told herself.
She had to fight if she was to survive to know all that there was to know.
The young woman clutched at the silver brooch Halldorr had given her the first time the dragon boats returned. She strained her eyes, searching for her opponent somewhere out in the blinding, whiteness. She saw nothing. Heard nothing. Felt nothing. It was just her, the white mist and the mountain. She gasped and waited for death to take her breath.
* * * * * *
“Hello? Wake up! Hello? Are you with us now?”
A calm, male voice penetrated the dimness of her sub-conscious mind. The faint voice of a female spoke to her from somewhere nearby.
“Her shaking’s subsiding. I think she’s beginning to respond, Doctor.”
The young woman in the bed briefly opened her eyes. Then, she shut them again. She felt a hand touch the top of her head.
“Hello! Can you hear me, young lady?”
She wanted to respond, to tell them she was here. She tried to say something but nothing more than a few strange noises came out. She was trapped in a body that would not respond.
“What are you trying to say?” A male voice spoke to someone nearby. “Can you make out the noises, nurse?”
Her eyes opened again and she blinked several times. Slowly, she found she could focus on several things around her. Everywhere was white. But it was not the
whiteness of mist. This whiteness was not opaque but was angular and solid. It seemed to be a room.
“Where am I?” she gasped at last.
The soft female voice could now be matched to the smiling face of a middle-aged woman. She wore something small and white on her head.
“It’s all right. You’re in hospital. You’re quite safe.”
Her patient seemed confused.
“It’s the effects of the cold,” said the Doctor. “She seems to have stabilized now. The worst of the hypothermia effects are over . . . blood pressure’s rising, pulse rate more stable. Temperature’s rising. Things are starting to look much brighter for her. Keep her on the monitor, nurse. I’ll check with you in an hour’s time. Make notes of anything you feel could be important.”
“Right, Doctor.”
“Page me if you’re worried.”
As soon as the man left the room, the nurse turned her attention back to the young woman lying so still and pale on the bed in the middle of the room. The poor girl appeared confused but that was not surprising considering what she had been through during the past few weeks.
The nurse leaned over her patient.
“You’re going to be fine,” she whispered. “The worst is over. And now that you’re awake you’re well on the road to recovery.”
“Recovery? What happened?”
“You must have got lost. We thought you had already gone when they first brought you in.”
“Gone? Where to?”
“You were not much different from a piece of frozen meat when the rescue team finally found you. They brought you here and your vital life signs were so extremely faint, we thought we’d lost you.”
“Oh?”
The young woman still felt cold, nauseous and light-headed.
“Fancy going up there all on your own in such a storm.” The nurse checked the recording tape beside the bed. “That was a silly thing to do.”
“What was? I don’t understand.” The patient tried desperately to sit. She collapsed back on the pillows, exhausted. “Where was I?”
“In the snow. You’d climbed up the slopes of Jotenfjell.”
“Jotenfjell?”
Nothing was making sense. The nurse straightened the crinkled top of the bedclothes. She made sure the thermal blankets remained well up around the neck of her patient.
“And the tall man?”
The nurse was puzzled. No-one had mentioned the possibility of another person having been on the mountain during the time of the sudden storm.
“No man was found. Are you sure there was someone else?”
“Yes. There was! He was going to kill me!
The young woman became distraught and it looked as if she was about to cry.
“Did he follow you?”
“He took me.”
“And he wanted to kill you?”
“Yes.”
“How did he want to kill you?”
“With his axe!”
The nurse shook her head. It was unbelievable what some people say when their bodies were still in shock.
“An axe? Why do you think he wanted to kill you?”
It was so complicated, the young woman did not know how to explain.
“He just did. And he was up there on the mountain.”
The nurse decided it was better for her patient that she seemed to believe her. Any further upset may set her recovery back and that may prove to be fatal. After another day and when the young woman had taken liquids, then she could be questioned again. For now, the matter was closed.
The doctor visited again the following day. He was pleased his patient was picking up. Her colour had returned and she was more alert. He decided to investigate her mountain ordeal a little further.
“Nurse tells me you had a companion.”
“I wouldn’t call him that.”
“Someone was with you?”
“Bodvarr. He took me up there. He was going to kill me.”
“How?”
“With his battle axe.”
“Battle axe? Are you sure?”
The doctor’s voice showed surprise.
“Yes. With the axe. What else?”
“Not a gun?”
“It was an axe! I know. I was there!”
The doctor read through the notes again. He told her that there was no mention of another person and the Search-and-Rescue dogs never had the smell of any one else.
“Sometimes, when the mind suffers such a shock as yours has done, it plays tricks on us. Even terrifying ones like you appear to have suffered.”
“I know it happened. It’s true.”
“Look never mind for now. There’s been a very worried young man asking for you from the time you were brought in.”
“Who?”
“A friend of yours.” The patient immediately looked brighter. “Peter. Peter Norrich. Do you remember him?”
She had no recollection of Peter. She was confused. It was like still being in a nightmare. What friend did she have that she could not remember?
“Don’t let it upset you,” the nurse said. She placed a cool drink beside the bed. “Drink this. It’ll make you feel better.”
“Can’t I have something that’s hotter?”
“Not for another day. The heat may make you vomit.”
The young woman sipped a little of the liquid and lay back again. Everything was like a nightmare. It was a bad dream that wouldn’t get out of a loop. Strange pictures flicked in and out of her mind. Finally, one came to rest. She suddenly sat bolt upright.
“My bairn? Do you know if Heggar and my bairn are safe?”
She could suddenly remember leaving them behind in the hut.
“Barn? No barn’s been built up there on the mountain.”
“Bairn. My baby.”
“Heggar’s a baby?”
“No. She used to belong to Yalda’s. The baby’s mine.”
The doctor consulted the notes again. There had not been any record of a baby although her examination had shown that she had given birth some time ago, possibly a teenage pregnancy.
“She’s hallucinating again, doctor.” Even though the nurse spoke very quietly, the patient could just make out what was being said. “She’s very confused. She has no idea where she is or even what year this is. She’s been like that since they brought her in.”
“Yes, I think you’re right. It happens with cases like this. The body’s had such a tremendous shock with the cold, that while the patient’s in a coma, their mind plays tricks. In a few weeks, things should improve and then she’ll be better able to sort out fantasy from the truth. Just give her time.”
“I did have a baby,” she protested. “You don’t understand!”
The doctor patted the bedclothes.
“You’ll be better soon. In the meantime, your mind can play all sorts of tricks. It takes time for the body to heal.” He shook his head and looked sorry for her. “Sorry, young lady. We can give you something to lessen your anxiety.”
The young woman shook her head. She felt flattened. Maybe, what the Doctor said was true, after all. Maybe it had all been tricks of the mind. After all, they said she had been in a coma for some time.
The doctor was about to leave when he reached deeply into his white hospital coat pocket.
“By the way,” he casually remarked. “You may as well have this back, now. When you were found unconscious in the snow, your hand was clutching this.”
She took the object from him and stared at it in disbelief. In her hand she held the small, silver dragon brooch Halldorr had given her.
“Halldorr!”
The Doctor continued,
“You know, I can’t for the life of me think how it came into your possession, Miss Wilkingson. It’s of Viking origin. It’s at least a thousand years old.”
With those words, the doctor shook his head in disbelief and left the room. From that point in time, she began to remember.
* * * * *
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br /> GLOSSARY
hangi - food cooked in the ground
kaanga pirau - fermented corn
kai - food
ka pai - good
kete - woven bag
kina - sea egg
moko - logo, lizard
mokopuna - grandchild
Rangi and Papa - sky and earth parents
pipi – a shellfish
taniwha – guardian of water areas
whakama – shame
whakapapa – family tree