Sydney
“You have a call,” Devney says as her head pops in my doorway.
“From?”
“A really sexy sounding British guy.”
Milo.
It’s been a week since my house went up for sale. I got an offer and sent it over to Milo to see if I was crazy. It is over asking, but they are a developer and want to split the farm into forty, ten-acre lots and then build big, million-dollar homes that they claim will fit into the small-town appeal of the area.
I’m not really sure how that works since most of the farmhouses here are original. We aren’t close to a major big city, so moving out here isn’t ideal for commuting. It doesn’t seem like a great idea, but what do I know?
“I’ll pick it up, please close the door.” She nods and then clicks it closed. “Milo?”
“Ahh, I knew I was unforgettable. How are things? Anything naughty or new that you want to share about Declan?” His accent slides over his name.
“No, but if there were, I probably wouldn’t tell you.”
“Smart girl.”
I laugh. “Did you get my email?”
“I did, and I actually have my gorgeous and much-too-good-for-me wife sitting here now. She looked over the offer and had her own ideas as well.”
“Oh!” I say excitedly. “Hello, Danielle.”
“Hello, Sydney. It’s great to sort of meet you. I’m sorry I couldn’t go out to your farm when Milo did, but we were in New York visiting our daughter, and I couldn’t slip away. Anyway, I heard a lot about you, plus, I’ve heard bits and pieces from Declan over the years.”
He’s talked about me to her too?
“Darling, you’ll give the girl the wrong idea,” Milo chides. “I’m sure Sydney knows that our Declan is a tortured soul who is the worst sort of a miserable bastard who only complains about women.” He drops to a low voice and says the rest as though it’s through the side of his mouth. “We must give her the wrong idea so she’ll want him more.”
Danielle huffs. “You’re an idiot. She should know that he has thought about her and has at least mentioned her.”
“Yes, but I’ve already done that.”
I smile as the two of them go back and forth.
“Clearly, not well.”
“I’ll give you not well.” Milo’s voice rises just a touch.
“I’m sorry about this,” Danielle returns her attention to me. “We tend to be a little stubborn and argumentative.”
I laugh softly. “I get it. I hate to push this along, but I have court in about an hour—”
“No, no,” Milo steps in. “I went over it, and I understand your hesitation, but really, it won’t be your problem once you sell. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but once you sign, you lose the right to dictate the use of the land.”
I sit back in my seat and let that settle over me. I knew all of this, of course. Still, I just hoped it would be a sweet family from Chicago who was tired of the city life and wanted to raise cows and make no money. It’s a charmed life—sort of.
“Are you saying I should take the offer?” I ask.
“No.”
“Yes.”
Milo and Danielle answer the opposite at the same time.
“Sydney,” Danielle begins before he can, “I’m from the States, so I feel more qualified to talk about this than Milo. If you sell, this legacy that you spoke of will be cut up and sold off. Now, you can take this offer, which is a good one, and make a lot of money—”
“Which is what you should do,” Milo says. “I assure you that no family is going to come in and buy your land at that price. A developer like Dovetail will see a greater profit and pay your asking price.”
It all makes sense, but it feels wrong.
A sympathetic sigh comes through the line. “I understand your hesitancy.” Danielle’s voice is soft. “I know you want to move quickly.”
“I need to move. I need to be settled. I can’t stay here.”
It’s best to sell the house, move, and let Declan know about the baby.
“Then give me another few days,” Milo suggests. “Let me look into this company a bit deeper. I’ll see if I can figure out a way to make this all work out the way you’re hoping it will.”
“I appreciate this. I really do. This farm has been in my family for almost a century, it’s just ... difficult.”
I keep trying to picture life not in Sugarloaf, and I fail each time. My sister left and never looked back. My mother said she was completely fine deeding the farm to me when she left and she’s fine with me selling it now.
Milo clears his throat. “Give us some time, the one thing I’ve learned in my pathetic life is that there’s always another way. Until then, be sure to drive Declan fucking miserable for ever letting you go. Us brooding, stupid types can’t seem to resist a woman who doesn’t want us.”
Danielle bursts out laughing. “And trust me, he would know.”
“Running away again?” Sierra asks before drinking her coffee.
After spending the morning looking at houses, I landed in the coffee shop in her town and called her, hoping for some sisterly advice. Now, I regret my line of thinking.
“No, I came to make sure I was doing the right thing and find somewhere to live.”
Sierra places her cup down and then shrugs. “And have you figured out if it is the right thing? Did you tell Declan about the baby yet?”
I shake my head. “I plan to as soon as the house is sold and I know I’m leaving. If I do it before then and he offers me some grand life, I’ll back out, I know I will.”
“I think that’s a smart plan. Declan’s sense of right and wrong will win out.”
And that’s the exact issue. “He’ll offer to marry me because he wants to do what he thinks is the honorable thing, not because he loves me.”
Her hand touches mine. “I’m sorry.”
I sniff and then pull back. “That’s the saddest part, Sierra, he does love me. I know he does. He just doesn’t think he deserves to be happy.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because he’s admitted it. He’s told me he wants me, he kisses me like a man who is desperate, but he’s so headstrong and won’t budge. I don’t get it. Why does he think pushing me away is better for me instead of loving me and letting us just be together? I feel like I could accept everything if I truly knew he didn’t love me.”
Sierra leans back in her chair and rubs her bottom lip. “You guys always seemed so steadfast, you know? I think I was more surprised by him leaving than I was when Dad left. It was almost as if nothing made sense.”
“No shit.”
“Have you asked him?”
“Of course I’ve asked him.”
Sierra smiles softly. “No, I mean point-blank. Why did you end things?”
I sigh heavily, feeling like the weight of the world is on me. “I think I have. I mean ... maybe.” I think about it, slowly realizing that we really haven’t gotten anywhere. I’ve asked and he’s evaded or when he’s wanted to talk, I couldn’t handle it. “He told me when we broke up that he didn’t love me.”
“And we all know that’s not true.”
“Okay.” I can concede on that. I don’t believe it either. “He said he was doing what he had to in order to protect me.”
I see Sierra’s mind working to put the pieces together. I may be a lawyer and good at figuring things out, but Sierra has me beat. She would’ve been an excellent detective.
“Protect you from what?”
“Himself, I guess. I think he believes a lot of his father lives in him.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please, nothing of that asshole is in any of those boys.”
“I agree.”
“Well, then there’s something else. I don’t know what it is or why he’s not telling you, but I don’t believe that, after all the time you were together and planning a life, he suddenly woke up some random day and was like, we’re done.”
I mull that over and try to see it through different eyes. It wasn’t an angle I’d ever looked at before, but maybe something happened that convinced him he needed to walk away from me. I wouldn’t believe for one second that he cheated on me—that type of betrayal isn’t in that man’s blood. Only, it’s the only thing I can think of that would push him to such lengths.
Whatever it was, if it was anything at all, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell me. We had no secrets. My thoughts, my heart, my world was open to him and it was the same way—at least I thought—for him as well. Nothing he could’ve ever said or done would’ve changed how I felt for him.
“Does it really matter?” I ask.
“I don’t know, but it would to me.”
“I guess that’s the point. If he loved me, with his whole heart loved me, then why wouldn’t he come to me with his issue, if there even is one? Why wouldn’t he confide in me and let me help him, like equals?”
Sierra lifts her hands and then lets them fall back to the table. “Far be it for me to try to understand his mind. You would know that better than I would.”
Maybe years ago, but not now. I don’t really know the Declan of today. He’s changed so much and doesn’t laugh as freely or love as openly as he used to. It’s as though a part of him is closed off.
“I’m just saying that, in the end, none of it makes a difference. I’m selling the farm, moving here, and I’m going to have a baby.”
“Yes, but you haven’t sold the farm, moved, or told him about the baby yet,” Sierra points out. Then my sister gives me her smirk that makes me want to choke her.
“You were the one who suggested I sell the farm!”
“And when the hell have you ever listened to me?”
I swear that God made sisters as a punishment for Eve and her stupid apple eating. I never would’ve considered listing the farm if Sierra hadn’t suggested leaving town. “Why are you saying this now?”
Sierra shifts in her seat. “Because I don’t want to see you regret it. Yes, it’s time to move on, but you love that town, the farm, and your life in Sugarloaf.”
“I also am going to be alone, with a baby, no help, a farm, a law practice, and a million other reasons that I need to get out of there for.”
“Jimmy would run the farm,” she counters.
“Yes, but he wants to retire. He’s been doing this for a long time, and it’s selfish of me to ask him to stay on. If he left, I’d have to hire someone else and hope to God they do the things we need to sustain the farm. Even then, I don’t know that I can do it. I need my family.”
“What you really need is Declan.”
My head falls back, and I groan. My sister is worse than I am, and I’m pregnant and emotional. Declan isn’t going to give me what I want, so there’s no point in this conversation. “Living by you might just make me finally snap.”
She laughs once. “Please, you snapped a long time ago. Listen, I love you with my whole heart, but no one told you to list the farm the day after I suggested it. I didn’t think you’d actually give it up. You’re the one who dreamed of raising children there and growing old with the cows. I never did. The idea of moving back to Sugarloaf is enough to make my skin crawl.” She shudders as though it does. “I said it because I wanted to see what you’d do.” I open my mouth to say something, but she holds her hand up. “Not that I don’t love you and want you to be closer. God knows it would be great to have someone else around to help deal with Mom, but the point is that I didn’t think you’d actually list it. Threaten it, sure. Maybe talk to a realtor, okay fine, but not do it.”
I glare at my sister, and then suddenly, a wash of sadness comes over me. Tears prick my eyes, and I want to crumple into her arms and just lose it.
“Syd?”
“Why is this so hard?”
Sierra doesn’t hesitate before she wraps me in her arms and presses my head to her shoulder. “Oh, Syd, it’s supposed to be hard. Life is hard and people suck. Things don’t go our way, but we muddle through it.”
I lift my head, feeling stupid for breaking down. “People leave, Sierra. Men leave us. Look at how many times it has happened. I can’t stick around, hoping that he’ll be different. They always leave.”
“Alex hasn’t. I push him, most of the time without even meaning to, and he stays. Each time I think that this is finally it, he proves me wrong.”
“He’s a unicorn.”
She smiles. “Maybe, but if he is, then at least we know they exist. You have a right to be hurt, but you are also judging Declan on the past and, what I believe, is only half the information. I’m not telling you what to do, but at least talk to the man. Let him know you’re having his love child and see what he does.”
“And if he breaks my heart?”
Sierra tilts her head to the side. “Then I’ll chop his nuts off.”
Chapter Twenty
Declan
I’m sitting in my living quarters, if I can even call it that, going over emails. My clients have understood about my new schedule, and it’s been nice to go at a slightly slower pace. The two other financial advisers in my office have been working all the backend things for me as well.
Four years ago, this wouldn’t have been possible. I wasn’t able to take time off. I couldn’t make my own hours, and I sure as hell wouldn’t trust anyone to do what I could do. Now, I’m learning that I was an idiot.
An email comes in from Milo, and I open it immediately.
* * *
Declan,
I’ve done a bit of research regarding the company that submitted an offer on Sydney’s farm. It’s all on the up and up, but I can sense she’s apprehensive. Have you gotten any signals on which way she’s leaning?
The best person in the world,
Milo
* * *
I roll my eyes at his sign off and reply.
* * *
Jackass,
No, she hasn’t mentioned anything to me. Why is she apprehensive?
Man with the biggest dick ever,
Declan
* * *
I can’t wait to hear this response.
Sure enough, just a few seconds go by and my email pings.
* * *
Delusional Dickhead,
Let’s not even go there, mate. As for the lovely Sydney, I just know she wasn’t fully comfortable. The offer is above asking, and I have advised her to accept it, but she needed time. I can’t help but feel as though she’s running from something, not that we all don’t know what it could be ... you know, YOU.
I believe, as does Danielle, that she wants a family to take over. Someone who won’t divide the property and sell it off in pieces, but live there and love the place as she does.
The Undisputed God Amongst Men
* * *
I ignore the ending and desire to spar with him and focus on Sydney. She never mentioned wanting a specific type of buyer. Her goal is to leave Sugarloaf, so I figured that, if she got a good offer, she would take it.
Having a family buy it is a great idea, but it is not really what the current economic climate is doing, buying small dairy farms in the middle of Pennsylvania. No, the people here have been here. It’s a generational town. The more likely possibility would’ve been the neighboring farmers buying off her land to increase their own.
This need to fix this situation starts to build.
I know she’s leaving because I’m here, no matter what she says about wanting to be close to her family. There’s no reason for her to do that on my account. She’ll regret this decision in a few months, and I can’t let that happen.
I love her, and all I’ve ever wanted is for her to be happy and content. Forcing her to move away from her home and life is the exact opposite of what I’ve spent my life trying to do. It makes the sacrifice I made eight years ago completely worthless.
I can fix this.
I fire off three emails.
The first is to my a
ccountant, instructing him to create an LLC. It’ll act as a shell company to hide who I am.
The second is to my investment company, and it outlines my request for them to wire money against my company line of credit into the shell once it’s formed. I need a few days to liquidate that type of money.
The third is to Milo.
* * *
I’m buying her farm. I want you to act as my broker. Keep my name out of it, but get the deal done for me.
Declan
* * *
I get a response back from Milo immediately.
* * *
And there’s a grand gesture if I’ve ever seen one. Still want to continue lying about how you’re not in love with her, want to marry her, and be happy?
Don’t worry, I’ll get it done.
Milo
* * *
Looks like I’m going to have roots in Sugarloaf no matter what my plans are.
This time, it doesn’t feel like a prison sentence. It’s the right choice, and it’s something I can give to her because I have nothing else to give. I know in my heart that Sydney doesn’t really want to go. She loves this town, her home, and the farm. I’m only here temporarily, and when I leave, she’ll have what matters most to her.
“How long are you out for?” I ask Sean. Earlier this evening, he twisted his knee while attempting to steal second base.
I don’t normally watch his games, but Connor and I were stuck at his place while Ellie and Hadley were doing a girls’ day with Devney and Sydney. So, we were able to see the whole thing.
As soon as it happened, I called him, even knowing he doesn’t have his phone on him during games, but it looked horrible on television. It doesn’t help to listen to the announcers give their un-expert opinions on what it all means either.
For hours, Connor and I waited for Sean to finally call back.
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