by Lindsey Hart
“It’s always been there for us. That magic. You can’t tell me that you don’t feel it.” He was growing more desperate by the second and he knew he sounded like it, but that wasn’t going to make him stop. He’d fight to the death for her this time.
“That’s the thing, Trey. I don’t believe in magic.”
Apparently, he’d fight to the death and die trying. That’s what it felt like. Like he was dying a slow, painful, terrible death as Ambi left him at the railing. His lips pressed into a thin, hard line. His jaw clenched up tight. His knuckles gripped the rail so tight that there was no color left in them at all. She left him bleeding out all over the floor. He wanted to fight for her, but she didn’t want him to. She left him like he’d left her all those years ago. With his heart ripped out, lying in tatters at his feet.
CHAPTER 17
Trey
It might be childish, but Trey did believe in magic. He knew that most of it was fake, but there had to be some of it that was inexplicable. Some skills that took a lifetime to master. Some things that just transcended belief.
He wasn’t done trying. He wasn’t giving up. It wasn’t in his nature to just crawl up in a ball and die. He’d done that once already and he’d spent the better part of five years regretting it. He wasn’t going down with the ship again. In fact, the ship wasn’t going down at all.
Which was why he paid John from their HR department twenty bucks to use his personal phone to book a fake appointment with Ambi. She did keep office hours, but every single time he went by her building for four days straight, the door was locked. He decided he couldn’t leave it any longer and he sure as hell wasn’t going to leave it up to chance. Maybe she was avoiding him. Maybe she knew that he’d come by and beg her like some pathetic fool, so she locked her doors to dissuade him.
He almost started to believe that she’d packed up and moved overnight. Panic welled up at that thought, nearly choking him. He couldn’t let her go. He’d hire every single PI in the freaking state to find her if she’d truly disappeared. Any state. Wherever. Whatever it took, he’d find her and get her to listen.
Thankfully, he didn’t have to resort to that. Yet. John was able to set up an appointment for that afternoon at four.
Trey spent the next four hours pacing around in his office, wearing down the carpet in a six-foot square pattern. He’d been in a couple of plays in high school and he remembered pacing back and forth like this, reciting lines. He mumbled to himself the same way, except it wasn’t pre-written garbage he was spouting. If he flopped, it wouldn’t be an embarrassing moment in front of a small audience. He couldn’t laugh it off later. This was it. This might be his last shot at getting Ambi back.
Thankfully, at four, when he tried Ambi’s front office door, the heavy glass gave under his hand and it pulled open. She really was there.
His heart kicked up from its already rapid skittering into an alarmingly painful pattern. He slammed a hand over the spot, trying to prevent an ambulance ride. Dying of a heart attack before he even stepped foot into the building wasn’t an option.
The bell above the door tinkled announcing his arrival. He heard a chair scrape back in the next room and he froze for just a second before he turned and slid the deadbolt in place on the door. Yeah. There was no freaking way someone else was coming in there while he made his grand speech.
Or, at least, he hoped he got to make it.
Ambi rounded the corner and as soon as she saw him, the pleasant look on her face, ready to welcome and greet her appointment, changed into a pissed-off looking frown. Her eyes narrowed into two slits and her hands actually balled into fists at her sides.
“Oh no. Not you. I have an appointment right away. You’re going to have to leave.”
Trey leaned up against the front door he’d locked, trying for non-threatening and casual, but in a suit, he wasn’t quite sure that he actually succeeded. He cursed himself for not having thought to change first.
“I-” His voice came out rusty, so he cleared his throat. “I’m your appointment, actually.”
Ambi’s already pissed off expression soured into something close to one that said she’d just stepped, barefoot, into a warm, nasty, stinky, gooey pile of dog shit. Like it was squishing up between her toes and flooding around her delicate arches. Like she’d just sunk up to her ankles in an enormous pile.
“No. You didn’t! You got someone else to call to be sure I’d be here?” Her eyes rolled in their sockets. “You are such an asshole.”
Trey nodded. “Yeah. No disagreement there. I am an asshole. Or, I was. I was back then, Ambi, but I came here because I have something to say that you need to listen to. I- I can’t- what happened at the Christmas party- I…” Nice. Super smooth delivery there. This is going so fucking perfect. Truthfully, it was going exactly how he thought it would go and that was the bad part. He didn’t want to turn into a stammering, bumbling idiot who couldn’t get the right words out when he needed them most.
“Trey-” Ambi sighed, cutting him off before he could get anything else out. “What happened at the party wasn’t anything I didn’t already expect. It wasn’t even anything new. We’ve been through all this.”
“Ambi, no, you need to listen-”
“No. Trey. You need to listen.” Her frown dropped away, replaced with something far more resolute. Far scarier. Far worse. It was so glaringly obvious that she’d already made up her mind.
“Please. You have to give me another chance. It will be different this time. I promise. Everything will be different. We’re not the same people we were. I’m not the same person. I’m not afraid to fight for you. To fight my father. I made the wrong choice last time. I was an idiot. I was scared and lost. I’m not making that mistake again. I’m not letting you go. I’ll leave the company. I’ll never speak to my father again if that’s what it takes. I promise I’ll do what I have to do. I have my own money this time. We can start our own company, or I can support you in this one. We can move somewhere else. Go anywhere. Do anything. We can even take your mom since I know you’d never leave without her. Please, Ambi. I’m here this time. For real. For good. I need you to see that.”
“I do, Trey.” Her voice sounded little and lost and her face was a carefully composed mask.
He couldn’t hope to read her. She was closing herself off, or she already had. Some people might accuse Trey of being pretty emotionally stunted, or at least, emotionally stupid, but even he could see that she’d already made a decision and it wasn’t in his favor.
“I do see that,” she continued, her words drenched in finality and sadness. At least if she was going to break his heart, she felt bad about it. “There isn’t any future for us unless your dad changes his mind and that’s obviously never going to happen. I spent so many years hating you for choosing the money instead of me that I never fully realized that you never chose the money. You chose your family. The only family you had left. Your dad. I used that resentment as a way to deal with my own hurt and anger and let myself off the hook. I’m a big girl now. I’ve spent years thinking about it. Family is the most important thing in the world, Trey. I can’t let you choose between me and yours.”
“But- Ambi-”
“It’s alright, Trey. We’re going to be okay. I’ve spent years learning how to make myself happy and so have you, whether you know it or not. We had a good time in college. Honestly, these past few weeks were fun too. Frustrating and crazy and- and everything, but I’m a big girl. We’re both adults now. We’re not some college kids too naïve to realize how the world really works. We’ll be okay. We’ll move on. I’m not saying find other people, but we both know how to survive in the world, so we’ll keep on doing that. Your dad isn’t going to change his mind. I can never be with you knowing that I tore you away from your family. He might not like me, but he’s still your dad. You’re his son. I don’t want to take that away from him. He’s already lost a lot. Losing you would break him.”
Trey was floored. He’d n
ever thought about his father in that light before. His dad had always been a powerful man. A man who built up a thriving company from almost nothing. A man who exuded confidence, and later, wealth. A hard man who didn’t talk about his feelings often. He was fierce and passionate about the things he wanted in life and he’d passed that down to Trey. He’d never thought about his dad as someone vulnerable and breakable beneath that rigid exterior.
“He’ll change his mind.” Even as the words came out, there wasn’t much conviction behind them. He knew his father better than that. Apparently, though they’d met only twice before, so did she. She snorted, but it was a soft snort, not the mocking kind. More like the sad laughter kind. “I’m not letting this be a goodbye,” Trey ground out. “He’ll change his mind. I’ll get him to understand. I’m not letting you get away again.”
“Alright.” She ducked her head, her voice so soft that he almost missed that one word.
“Alright?”
“Yeah. Alright. If he changes his mind, really changes his mind, come find me. You know where I am. I’m not holding out hope though, Trey. I can’t promise that I’ll still be single in another five years.”
“I get it, Ambi. I do. I know I wasted a lot of time. I’m not planning on letting it happen again. It’s not going to take me five years to get my head on straight. I promise.”
“It’s okay, Trey. Really. You can’t force this. You just have to let it happen. I’m just saying. I don’t think it will ever happen. I don’t have any expectations. I think we just need to get on with our lives and keep learning what it takes to make ourselves happy. If you should happen to meet someone in that time, I’m okay with that.” Ambi’s lips wavered at the end, but she clamped her top teeth down into her bottom one to keep it from wobbling.
It was pretty damn evident that she was so far from being okay with what she was saying, but she was making an effort. For him. She was letting him go, not because she thought she should, but because she didn’t want to hurt anyone. Not him. Not his dad. She was doing what she truly believed was the right thing. Hurting herself to keep his family together.
It was noble.
It was honorable.
It didn’t matter that he didn’t want her to be either of those things. When she made up her mind, she was unshakable. She was a much better person, definitely a bigger person than he was and would probably ever be. That was part of the reason he loved her so much. Because she was fiercely intelligent, completely loyal, kind and compassionate to a fault. She was goodness and so much freaking light. He wished that she had an ounce of darkness in her soul. Just a little selfishness. Just enough that she’d tell him to stay, no matter the consequences.
She didn’t though. Instead, she stood tall and regal, her hands still bunched at her sides, her neck straight and proud, her chin tilted up. She was glorious, a queen among women. The only woman he’d ever loved and the only one he ever would.
“He’ll change his mind. I promise.”
She didn’t nod. She didn’t say she hoped so. She didn’t say anything. She just blinked at him slowly, her eyes filled up with pain she couldn’t tamp down and hide away.
He let himself out. Without a goodbye, because he didn’t want to say those words. Good. Bye. Such simple words, loaded with so much meaning. It wasn’t goodbye. It couldn’t be.
Because he was beyond certain that he couldn’t live without Ambi. Losing her would be a mortal wound, one he’d never recover from. So, no. Goodbye was not an option.
CHAPTER 18
Trey
Even though it was past six and dark, his father was still exactly where Trey expected to find him- tucked behind the massive oak desk in his office. It wasn’t made up of particle board or pressed wood. That desk was the real deal. Passed down in their family through generations. His father didn’t keep the desk at home, in a home office. No, he brought that bastard all the way downtown and had a moving crew haul it up. How they got it through the doorways and into his father’s office, Trey had no idea.
Turned out, miracles did indeed happen. Or just really good feats of engineering.
Dale glanced up as soon as Trey entered. He pushed open the glass door without knocking. It wasn’t his usual MO. He couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t knocked before entering his father’s domain. Even as a kid, his mom taught him to raise his little fist in greeting or warning, before he entered another person’s somewhat private space.
“We need to talk.” He didn’t bother with preamble before he shuffled across the vast distance of empty office space- the place was absolutely huge. It was the largest office in the building and Dale had pretty much chosen to leave most of it empty, almost like a big fuck you to everyone else in the place who struggled and clamored for more space.
Trey sunk down in the black modern office chair across from his father’s desk. It was so incongruous with the antique piece that he almost laughed at the fact that he’d never noticed it before. He felt like when it came to everything about his life, he was seeing clearly, eyes wide open, for the first time in his life.
“I figured you’d be by sooner or later.” Dale set down the expensive fountain pen he used. It was a gift from Trey’s mom and Dale used the thing almost exclusively when he wasn’t working on his laptop. His dad was old-fashioned in the way that he still liked to send handwritten cards at Christmas, not emails like he was doing just now.
That caught Trey off guard. He watched as Dale folded his hands on the ancient desk top. He actually raised his head, giving Trey his full attention.
“You fought tooth and nail to marry mom. Her dad didn’t think you were good enough for her. You wouldn’t give up. You had nothing, but you promised him that you’d look after her. That you’d give her a good life, and most of all, that you’d never stop loving her. That you’d cherish her above everything else. And you did. I didn’t really know it at the time, but I was a lucky kid, growing up, to get to see two people who loved each other like you and mom. You were happy. Both of you. You never stopped loving each other. She was your entire world.” Trey cleared his throat. His father stared at him impassively, but Dale had years of perfecting the perfect stern look. It was the same look he liked to give problematic clients, disgruntled employees, and his wayward son. “Why won’t you give me the same chance to have that?”
His father did something he didn’t expect. Dale laughed. He chuckled under his breath and leaned back just a little. “I didn’t realize I was stopping you.”
Trey knew he probably looked like a fool at the moment, a mix of shock and disbelief twisting his face. He’d come prepared for battle. Not- not whatever this was.
“How can you say that? You were the one who told me to choose between Ambi and my inheritance in college. You told me it was break up with her or lose everything.”
Dale shifted in his seat. He kept his face impassive and bland. “I did give you that choice, yes.”
“You told me to make the right decision. Not to disappoint mom.”
“No. I told you to make the decision that would have made your mother proud. I never told you what that was.”
“You made it obvious!”
Dale rearranged his hands on the desktop. Trey’s eyes were drawn to them. Those hands. Strong hands. Hands that had picked him up when he’d fallen as a kid. Hands that healed his scraped knees and elbows. Hands that guided him on his bike for the first time, hands that taught him to fly fish- which he and his dad did every single summer. Hands that taught. Guided. Loved. Hands that were there to instruct.
His father taught him that nothing in life was final. Anything could be achieved through hard work and dedication. Trey used to think it was an old-school mentality that wasn’t quite true, but now he wasn’t so sure. His dad tried to give him the most important thing in the world. Values. He tried to teach him what was important in life. Somewhere along the way, had he misunderstood?
Dale wasn’t snarling at him at the moment. He wasn’t giving him a
list of ultimatums. He was just sitting there, staring at his hands like he was waiting for Trey to make up his own mind about what was happening. About what had happened in the past.
“I came here because I wanted to tell you that I’m not giving up on Ambi. Not this time. I’ve spent the past five years living with the weight of my regrets. I don’t want to sell insurance. I never have. I wanted to do something creative with my life, not be chained to a desk day in and day out. I want to go down a different path. I’ve saved and invested all the money that I earned and that you gave me. I’ve been careful. I’ve made a name for myself and I’ve made a good living and I thank you for providing me with that. For setting the foundation and helping me build up the walls along the way. You and mom. You taught me everything. You gave me every opportunity in the world. I just- I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to work here. I actually hate working here. I always have.”
“I never would have stopped you from leaving.”
That was news to Trey. He started at his father like he was a complete stranger. Dale raised his head and stared back. They had the same hairline, jawline, nose, and eyes. It was like looking into a mirror.
“I want you to be on board with it. Whatever I choose to do. I’m not just leaving here, I’m going after Ambi. I’m going to do what it takes to win her back because I love her. She’s the love of my life. She’s my everything. I’ve spent years thinking about how I could make it right. Years. Years planning. Planning how to get her back. How to have a life with her. How not to fuck it all up again. I’m not giving up this time. This time is my time. It’s our time. I just wanted to say that you- that you can’t stop me from doing this. I want you to be on board with it, because Ambi is it for me. I love her, or at least, I want to learn how to love her, like you loved mom. Timeless. With my entire being.”