I drew a sharp breath. A pair of dragon-like wings sprouted from the elf's back. Their scales and membranes were gold, matching the fine scaling on his face and neck.
What had Kemi told me? She said she only knew one other dragonbound who had been physically changed. Her father. This elf wasn't young at all, and his name was Nylian Lightborn.
I lowered my eyes. I had no idea how I was supposed to address the High King, or how to behave in his presence. I had no intention of insulting him like Ragan and Shan had.
“Did you just now figure out who I am, Tessen?” Nylian approached me and raised a pale, slender hand to touch my chin. The copper dragon jumped off his arm and made his way to a rug in front of one of the fireplaces.
“I apologize, Your Majesty. I did not expect you to be so–”
“Young? I am not, though I appear to be. I assume you mistook me for one of my sons.”
“I'm sorry if I offended you,” I said.
Nylian nudged my chin until I was looking at him, then let out a light laugh. “You did not offend me. I know my appearance is surprising. As is yours. I suspect your eyes are not the only aspect of you that will become altered. We are rare, Tessen, those of us who begin to look like the magnificent beings we share our souls with. You are only the fourth I've met. Our rate of aging slows as each of our bodies undergo unique changes. We are no longer what we were before the bond, but instead something more. More than elf, or in your instance more than human.”
“What am I?” I asked.
Nylian withdrew his hand and smiled. All eight of his incisors came to rounded points. “Transcending. You are no longer fully human and you will not age like one. I do not know how many years you will have just as I do not know how many I will have. Or my daughter. Kembriana is like us, as you've seen.”
Serida knocked over a candelabra. She jumped, then scurried behind me and pressed against my leg.
The candelabra shook itself off, then stood upright.
“You are surprised again,” Nylian said. He ran his fingertips along the edge of an orb-covered table. “It's best not to touch anything. Some of my objects are not yet complete, and some are quite dangerous.”
“Did you create all of this?” I asked.
“No. I only infused it with magic.” He picked up a small orb. Its color shifted from blue to orange to white as he slid it across his palm. “I am a lightbinder witch. There are few of us in Bacra and I suspect true lightbinders are nearly as rare as physically-altered dragonbound. I can infuse objects with starlight or deeplight, transforming them from mundane to magical. Most effects are predictable, like those of the healing draught you've been taking. Occasionally an object or potion takes on unexpected properties, unpredictable as the universe itself.”
I had an urge to bend down and pick up Serida, but I restrained myself. I needed to be mindful of my back or I'd prolong my recovery. “Your Majesty, may I ask why you wished to speak with me?”
“You may,” Nylian said with a nod. He let the orb roll of his hand. It bounced across the table and gently landed in a basket of similar spheres. “My daughter speaks highly of you. And of your friends. She told me you chose to save your half-Fae friend even after you learned where your dragon was, even after your pain became unbearable. You are consistently selfless to the point of being foolish in your decisions. I do not fault you for that foolishness. You are too young to know better. I also do not fault you for my son's death, nor do I fault your half-Fae friend. The responsibility for that travesty belongs solely to Mirabreln and his governor.”
“I am sorry for your loss,” I said, averting my eyes from Nylian's intense gaze. “I didn't know Kai for long, but he was my friend. He sacrificed himself to save Kemi.”
Nylian rubbed his teary eyes. “I know. Kembriana's guilt overwhelms her. My twins were born together and they expected to die together. Now one lives on without the other and she is as broken as one who has lost a dragon. I do not expect her to recover.”
“She needs time to figure out how to keep going on her own,” I said. Serida chirped, then wove a figure-eight around my legs. “She's strong. She'll always miss him, but she'll be okay eventually.”
“Yes, I suppose she will.” Nylian walked past me to examine a bookshelf. He tapped his fingers along an entire row of bindings before pulling out two leather-bound books. “As you will learn to go on without Shannon.”
“What do you mean by that?” My heart jumped into an uneasy gallop.
Nylian startled, then turned toward me. “I apologize. I did not mean to sound as if he would be gone from this world like my Kailandrian is. Your separation will be due to distance rather than death. I am keeping him here with me and sending you and your two half-breed friends to the Moonlight Guardian. She will teach you what it truly means to be dragonbound.”
“I don't want to be away from my brother,” I said. A shiver crept up my aching spine.
“You need to learn to fly on your own. Shannon's place is here. He was always meant to come to Anthora.”
“Why?”
Nylian's smile was kind, but carried with it notes of remorse and sorrow. “Because he is extraordinary. And now I see you are, too. You walked the road here together, but now your paths must diverge. His destiny is not yours and yours is not his.”
“When? When are we to be separated?” I asked. The tightness in my chest tugged at my back and I needed to brace myself against the orb table to fight the rising pain.
“Liantor will take you to the Guardian tomorrow. Only he knows her location. She has hidden herself from me.” Nylian stepped toward me, then passed the books into my hand. “You are fading and must return to the healing sleep. First, though, I am giving you a gift. Keep one of these journals for yourself and give the other to Shannon. Whatever is written in one is revealed in the other. You will be separated by distance, but you will still be able to communicate.”
I clutched the books to my chest. The smooth leather smelled of fresh parchment and rosemary. The combination reminded me of home, of my brother's cluttered bookshelves and the herbs growing in our window boxes. “Thank you. I have one final question, Your Majesty, if you are so inclined to answer.”
“You may ask.”
“Where is the rest of my family? My mom and sisters and Daelis? Are they alive? Are they safe?”
Nylian watched Serida bat at the tasseled end of a rug. “I do not know. They are hidden from me. The Goldtrees no longer preside over the Jade Realm. They have chosen exile and I know not where they have gone.”
“Oh.” That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. I wanted him to tell me exactly where they were and that they were safe. If I was to lose Shan, I couldn't bear not knowing where the rest of my family was. I'd have Ragan, but he couldn't replace the people who were missing.
Nylian beckoned to his copper dragon, who dashed across the chamber to leap back onto his arm. “Tessen, you will find strength in your ability to adapt. With or without your family, you will persist. I will return you to Shannon's quarters now. You must sleep, for tomorrow you will begin anew.”
Chapter 46
“I don't want you to go, but you must. You don't belong here.”
I woke to find Shan clinging to my arm. Light streamed through the window and bathed him in golden light.
“Neither do you,” I whispered. I didn't know if that was true. I was afraid of him, more than I had been before we were reunited. The words I'd overheard him say to Nylian echoed through my mind. Seventy-seven. My brother murdered seventy-seven people in his quest to perfect a single spell and rid Bacra of those he saw as his enemies. What if his broken mind decided someone other than the Jarrah was his enemy? What if he turned on the Anthoran elves, or on Ragan or me . . . or Marita?
“My soul's on fire and dancing with shadows.” Shan kissed my temple and lingered close to my ear. “I wandered hopelessly, but now I can finally see the path ahead. I know what I need to do. I can't tell you yet, but you'll see. I might be th
e only one who can do this.”
“What are you planning?” I asked. I hoped he didn't feel the acceleration of my pulse.
He kissed me again. “Redemption.”
The way he said the word made it clear he wasn't willing to explain what it meant.
“I don't want to leave you alone,” I said.
Shan sat upright and smiled. “I'm not alone anymore. I have Marita.” He twisted the chain of his winged pendant around his fingertips. “And this. I enchanted it myself. Resilience, remember? I'll be fine and so will you.” He indicated toward the journals on the nightstand. “Write to me and I'll write back. Not too much though, nothing important. Be careful and deliberate with your words. We don't know who else might be able to see.”
“You mean Nylian?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Shan pursed his lips and winced. “Don't trust his soft-spoken demeanor any more than you trust his apparent age. He is a feral dragon, inside and out.”
“I may be too, thanks to you,” I said. I wasn't going to tell him about Nylian's revelation that I wouldn't age like a human. I was still in too much shock to work my mind through it. I moved my arm to the left and rested my hand on Serida's warm back. She was my present and future, and I'd promised her I'd fully accept both her and her gifts. “We're never going to be able to go home, are we?”
Shan squinted into the sunlight. “I don't think people like us can ever have a home beyond whatever we find in our hearts. We can settle, but our souls will forever wander.”
“Can you help me sit up?”
Shan carefully eased me upright, then even more carefully embraced me. He kissed my forehead, then pressed his cheek against mine. “You're amazing. Try not to get into any more fights with the Fae, okay?”
“Can't promise anything now that Bacra is going to war,” I said. Shan's lilac-scented hair tickled my face. “Ages ago you told me you had a tutor in Jadeshire. I need to know, was it Ranalae?”
Shan released me and leaned back to look at me. His eyes darted to the side, then he smiled. “She was one of them, but I had two. Her brother was the other, and he taught me far more than Ranalae did.”
“Liantor?” I asked.
Shan nodded. “Yes. He is so proficient at teleportation that he can come and go as he pleases with little effort.” He held up his arm to show me the binding bracelet. “I can't, especially not now. Apparently only Nylian himself can remove this thing from me, and I can't go anywhere with it on, not unless he allows me to. Anyway, I was twelve when Liantor found me practicing shadow spells with Ranalae in the forest near Hawthorn Heights. He argued with her about what she was teaching me, and that was the first time I heard the word Spellkeeper. I didn't know it was referring to me. They agreed they would both teach me. Ranalae infused me with darkness, but Liantor kept me in the light. Once a month for five years he met with me to teach me how to protect myself from Ranalae. I think he knew what she was going to do to me, but he wanted me to learn from her so my skills would be balanced. And so I knew how to fight her and those like her. Ranalae ended up being stronger than we anticipated, but my lessons were effective enough that I survived.”
“Is he trustworthy? Liantor?”
“No. No Lightborn is trustworthy. Liantor has a kind heart, though. He's a better person than his father, and far better than Ranalae. He'll be a just and peaceful king if he manages to outlive Nylian.”
“Shan, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.” This was a test, and if he failed I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to trust him again. “Are you the one who teleported us to the Faelands?”
Confusion spread across Shan's face. He tapped his thumb across his fingers. “No.”
“Who did, then?”
“I have no idea.” Shan rubbed his upper lip and his eyes darted toward the window. “I do know something, though. The Starbrights are responsible for the attack on our family. Marita's awful brother is now Duke Starbright of the Jade Realm. Bastard was rewarded with a promotion after trying to slaughter our entire family. Yet another reason not to trust Nylian.”
Or to trust you, I thought. Liar. Liar, liar, liar. I knew he was responsible for us waking up in the Faelands, but he lied to me. I didn't know how I could forgive him for that. If he easily lied about his part in something that probably saved our lives, what else was he lying about? Who was this person masquerading as my brother?
“We really can't go back to Jadeshire, can we?” I asked.
“There is nothing to go back to.” Shan closed his eyes and rubbed away a tear. “Hey, I know you're going to see Mom again and I might not, so tell her I love her, will you? Dad and our sisters, too.”
“Why do you think you won't see them again?”
“Because it's not safe for them here and I can't leave. Don't worry, Tes. I know it's what you're best at, but don't worry. It'll be okay. You'll be okay.”
“But will you?”
Shan shrugged, then slid off the bed and wandered toward the window. “I don't need to be.”
The door opened and Liantor entered the suite. He cleared his throat and nodded at me. “With the help of a friend within the Faelands, I was able to retrieve most of your belongings and two orc-bred horses from Parandor. My friend couldn't locate the other four horses. I apologize for that.”
“Thank you for trying,” Shan said. “Iefyr and the two of us rode orc-bred horses. If the one you retrieved is mine, have Tessen take her with him. Evinlore belongs to Daelis and I have no use for horses anymore.”
“Very well,” Liantor said. “Tessen, you need to ready yourself and follow me. I am ready to take you to the Guardian and your friends are waiting. Shannon, you've been granted permission to leave your quarters so you can say goodbye.”
∆∆∆
Shan and Liantor walked on either side of me as we descended flight after flight of stairs to reach the circular foyer I'd seen from the landing the night before. Every step sent a sharp jolt up my spine and left me feeling faint. I struggled between wanting to tell Liantor that I wasn't yet healed enough to leave and wanting to get away from Shan before he had time to tell me any more lies.
Marita waited at the foot of the stairs. I hoped Shan had told her the truth about the rituals and why we ended up in the Faelands, but I doubted it. If he wasn't willing to be honest with me, there was no reason to believe he'd disclose to her what he'd done.
I carefully bent to kiss Marita's forehead. “Take care of him, will you?”
Marita stood on her toes to return my kiss. “I'll try. You know what he's like.”
No. No, I don't. I don't know him at all anymore. I don't think I ever did. “He's Shan. I'm glad he has you.”
“And who do you have?”
“Ragan, Iefyr, and Serida. I'm okay.” I wasn't. I needed to be careful or the lies would fall from my lips just as easily as they did from Shan's. I wasn't a liar and I couldn't let him turn me into one, but I hadn't yet decided if it would be worse to keep what I knew to myself or to further hurt the people who loved Shan by telling them the truth.
I followed Liantor into the foyer, where Iefyr and Ragan already stood at two of the five points of a star pattern on the floor. Auna and Cadriel sat in separate crates at the center of the star, and two horses and two mid-sized dragons—one violet and one silver—stood at the points of a second star encircling the first. Neither horse was my Saragon. One was Shan's Evinlore and the other was Iefyr's Rakas. My heart fell. Saragon, Sprite, Marita's Hedimar, and Rose's Abracca were four more souls we'd lost to the Fae.
“Tessen, I need you at that point,” Liantor said, indicating to the place next to Iefyr. “Dragon goes in the center.”
“Serida, center,” I said. She dashed to the middle of the star and sat on top of Auna's crate.
“Your link with her is impressive for such an early bond.” Liantor fidgeted with his jacket cuff. He seemed quiet and anxious. I wasn't sure if it was his natural behavior or a response to his brother's death.
Liantor sighed and took his place in front of the violet dragon. “They will be here, and if they can't participate I have replacements. Shan, I taught you this ritual. I know what I'm doing.”
“I know you know it, I just–”
“You're afraid of the consequences if I do it wrong. I understand this. I wouldn't do anything that might hurt them. They've already been through enough.”
Shan lowered his head and sniffed back a tear. He entered the circle and embraced me. “You'll be okay, you'll be okay. I love you, with my whole heart I love you. Don't forget that, no matter what happens. We'll see each other again.”
I stroked his hair as I returned his embrace. Liar or not, he was my brother. “I love you, too. Please write in the journal for me. Doesn't have to be anything important, I just want to read your words. I'm taking the spectacles with me, so teach yourself some obscure language if you really don't want anyone else to read it. I know you don't believe you'll ever be all right, but I think you will be. Marita won't give up on you, either, so try not to run her off.”
“I can't promise anything.” Shan let go of me and walked around the dragons to embrace Ragan. “Sorry I've been an ass. You didn't deserve that.”
Talons clicked on stone as Lenna joined the star. Kemi stood next to me, bleary eyed and breathing heavily. “I'm here. We need to go. Quickly.”
Liantor nudged her toward her star point. “He didn't give you permission?”
“No. I told him I need to be with her, that it will help me heal, but he wants to keep me here. I have to go. You know that. I'm the only living daughter.”
“You need to be trained,” Liantor said with a nod. He indicated toward Shan, who was still caught in Ragan's embrace. “Shan, you need to remove yourself from the star. Go stand next to one of the support columns. Marita, return him to your quarters when it is finished. He's not supposed to be wandering. I'll return shortly.”
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