CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: Holiday Inn Hell
Nature called, and Nick walked into his hotel bathroom. He lifted the lid of the toilet seat and heard a voice.
“Nick?” said the voice.
He cut his flow in midstream. “Who said that?”
“It’s me, Nick.”
“Who the hell is me?”
“Exactly.”
“Satan? Is that you?”
“Could be.”
“But are you?”
“I can be anybody you want me to be.”
“You still sound like a whore.”
“Watch it. That kind of offends me.”
“Yeah, right. Calling you a whore is bad but calling you the Prince of Darkness is okay?”
“It has a royal ring to it.”
“You know what?” Nick said to the voice. “You don’t sound like Tony.”
“Maybe I’m not.”
“And you don’t sound like Jamie either.”
“Once again, maybe I’m not.”
“You don’t even sound like Lucille Fernelli.”
“Perhaps I have a cold.”
“Who are you, goddamnit?”
“Hey, don’t take that tone with me, young man.”
“Why did you follow me to New Orleans?”
“We’re not in New Orleans. We’re in Kenner.”
“That’s practically right next to it.”
“Yes, but I’m not exactly in the city limits.”
“Seriously? What difference does that make? Since when do you care about geography?”
“There’s too much competition in New Orleans, with all the voodoo witches and spirits.”
“So you’re afraid of a little competition?”
“I’m not afraid of it – I just don’t like it. It takes too much energy. It’s almost as laborious to overtake as New Lake City. Let’s just say I remember how you were when you last lived there. You had no regard for anyone but yourself. I liked that. Now you’re starting to get a little emotional…”
“Hey, I’m not getting emotional,” interrupted Nick.
“You see what I mean?” said the voice.
“Okay, maybe I am. But what the hell do you expect? I’m in a Holiday Inn bathroom, having a conversation with the devil.”
“So you think that’s who I am?”
“Aren’t you?”
“You have so much to learn, Nicholas.”
“There. You just called me Nicholas. Nobody but Tony ever calls me that.”
“Sorry about that, Nickster.”
“Whoa. Wait a second. You just called me Nickster. Nobody but Jamie has ever called me that.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m not saying anything. I’m asking. Who –in the hell – are you?”
“Pleased to meet you; hope you guess my name.”
Nick was livid. “Don’t you dare start confusing me by quoting the Rolling Stones.”
“But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.”
“No. We’re not going through with this again, you bastard.”
“I don’t like the way you are talking to me. I’m leaving.”
“And don’t come back,” shouted Nick, as he flung his arms, knocking the empty liquor bottles off the bed. He sat up in a pool of sweat - at least he hoped it was sweat - realizing he was dreaming the whole thing, again.
Andie worked out the details of the trip after her meeting with Peter. She booked them on a 3:05 flight to New Orleans. She took the rest of the day off to pack. She loaded her sexiest outfits while daydreaming about what she was going to finally get to do that night.
Debbie and Marlena were in their plane when an announcement came over the speaker, informing them of a storm in Miami. The plane would have to make a stop in New Orleans.
“Maybe we can spend a few hours in New Orleans,” said Marlena. “I’ve never been there.” Debbie wasn’t impressed. She was still nursing her hangover.
As the video shoot was wrapping up a day early, Julie was getting ideas.
“Why don’t we get away from here for the weekend?” she asked Benny.
“What do you have in mind?”
“We could take the corporate jet to New Orleans or someplace.”
“New Orleans would be great,” said Benny. “I haven’t been there since I found Nick. Let me clear it with Jamie. I’m sure it won’t be any problem.”
“Especially since we saved the company a bunch by finishing the video a day early.”
“You’re a real pro, Julie.”
She gave Benny a hug, grabbed his butt, and then bit his earlobe. “You’re not so bad yourself, tiger.”
Nick found his itinerary, showing him staying at the downtown Hilton. He grabbed his bag and took a cab there. The cab driver took him around the Superdome, down Poydras Street, then straight to the Hilton front lobby. The hotel clerk who checked him in had a nametag that read Damien.
“The room you reserved has an issue, Mr. Peltier,” said Damien. The toilet seems to have an absence of flushing power. We will upgrade you to a suite at no charge.”
Nick did his best not to freak out. He checked in, went to his room, #1151, and saw the beautiful view of the Mississippi River. The Riverboat Natchez was making its U-turn back to the dock. He could hear the steam whistle even with the window closed. The carefree days of his time in the Big Easy were coming back to him. He decided to get out and go to the Quarter.
At the airport, Marlena was checking out the flight options.
“We can leave on a flight to Miami in three hours, or stay here overnight and catch an early morning flight,” she told Debbie.
“I guess we can hang out here overnight,” said Debbie, whose headache was disappearing. “Nick told me a lot about New Orleans. It’ll be kind of nice to check it out.”
Andie had managed to book Harold and herself on first-class seating for their flight to New Orleans. As they took their seats, the flight attendant greeted them. She was young, petite, stunning, and had an olive complexion. Harold gawked at her and was hoping her name was Griselda, or something different from the name of the girl who has been rubbing him the wrong way.
“Hi. My name is Gina and I’ll be your flight attendant for this trip,” she said.
Andie smiled at her and turned to Harold, who was starting to sweat.
“Are you nervous about flying?” she asked.
“I used to be,” he said, “but I took the sixteen-step-program.”
“Don’t you mean the twelve-step?”
“You’re right. I don’t know where I got sixteen from.”
“You look like you could use a drink, sir,” said flight attendant Gina. “Could I get you something?
“A different attendant would be nice,” said Harold.
“I’m sorry, sir, but you’re stuck with me for the entire trip.” He started thinking about how true that could be. He couldn’t take his mind off of the other Gina.
Nick took Decatur Street to get to the French Quarter. As he walked in front of Jackson Square, he took the time to marvel at the sight of the St. Louis Cathedral. He always thought it was ironic to see such a magnificent church settled in the middle of one of the most sinful places in the country. The afternoon sun was beating down on him, making him thirsty. With an endless supply of alcohol surrounding him wherever he could see, he settled for beignets and coffee at Café Du Monde. The old, black trumpeter in front of the café was playing the obligatory When the Saints Go Marching In. He put his horn down and smiled.
“Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,” he told the clapping crowd, in his raspy voice. “If you have any requests, kindly write it on the back of a one dollar bill, and I’ll be glad to play it for you.” A teenage girl handed him a dollar. As he read the back, he said, “ I’m sorry, young lady. I don’t know Love Blender.” He gave the girl back the dollar, but she insisted he keep it. “That’s the kind of generosity I like. Thank you, young lady.” He glanced over in Nick’s direction. “Ho
w about you, Nick? You got any requests?”
Nick spit out his coffee in surprise. He was at a loss for words, so he just shook his head. The man started playing Basin Street Blues. Nick waited for him to finish the song then approached him with caution.
“How did you know my name?” he asked.
“Nick,” he said, as he held out his hand for Nick to slap it. Nick put a ten-dollar bill in it instead. “You don’t remember me?”
“To be honest with you - no.”
“And you obviously been making good for yourself. You ain’t never had more than fifty cents on you before.”
Nick was embarrassed. “I’m sorry, sir. I really don’t remember you.”
“That’s okay. You were always so drunk every time I seen you. You been doing okay?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“You’ll be all right, and you’ll find what you came here to look for.”
“How do you know I’m looking for something?”
The man just laughed. “It’s good seeing you again, Nick. Now, you run along. I got to play for these fine people right here.” He started playing Hello Dolly.
Nick strolled across the street into Jackson Square. A painter was sketching a young couple, when he looked up and saw Nick.
“Hey, Nick. Good to see you again.” Nick didn’t remember the painter at all. He waived back and kept walking. He noticed an old woman wearing dark sunglasses, sitting on a folding chair with an Ouiji board on her lap. She had a deck of Tarot cards spread out on it. She was arranging the cards over the board in a smooth motion. The woman mesmerized Nick. She lifted her head as if she knew he was staring at her.
“Would you like to see your future, Nicholas?” she asked.
“You know me?” asked a surprised Nick.
“I know everybody.” She waved her arms up with a grand gesture.
“Do you remember me from when I lived here before?” He asked.
“No. I saw your name in the cards as you walked by.”
“Are you sure you don’t remember me? I mean, I’m seeing people that recognize me, but I don’t remember them.”
“You are a disturbed young man,” said the lady.
“I guess you can say that.”
“You are also quite unobservant.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You see these marks on the cards?” She pointed to the raised dots on the Fool card.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t you know what they mean?”
“I’m not a card reader. That’s your job – and I’m not a fool.”
“You are also ignorant.”
“Hey, I didn’t come here to be offended, lady.”
“It’s Braille, you idiot.”
Nick took a closer look at the cards then looked at the lady’s eyes, as she lowered her glasses. Her pupils were clouded over and were facing different directions.
“So, you really don’t recognize me.”
“Bingo.”
“So you can tell me my future?”
“That’s the one thing I can see.”
“So tell me,” said the intrigued Nick.
“It’ll cost you ten dollars.” Nick took a ten-dollar bill from his wallet and put it on the board. The woman picked it up and studied it.
“I want to make sure this is a ten and not a one,” she said.
“What, you don’t trust me?”
“No, it’s just that you’re known for not having more than fifty cents on you at a time down here.”
“Okay, I get the picture. It really is a ten. Trust me.” Wow, I must really have been a tight-ass when I lived here, he thought.
She took the cards and spread them all over the board. “You are searching for something.” She dealt the Hermit card upright.
“That’s no revelation,” said Nick. “Everywhere I go, people tell me the same thing.”
“But you don’t know what you’re looking for.” She dealt a reversed Judgment card.
“Sure I do. I was supposed to be looking for a rock drummer.”
“You won’t find the person you are looking for.” A reversed World card was pulled.
“I’m starting to realize that. It looks like somebody already found that person for me.” Nick was referring to Pizza Guy.
“Yes. You have been sent on a false journey.” A reversed Wheel of Fortune card was next to be turned over.
“What do you mean by that?”
“You have been deceived by your directions.”
“So, I wasn’t supposed to be looking for a drummer?”
“No, you were supposed to be looking for that person, but whoever sent you on this path was misleading you.”
“That’s not surprising.” Nick thought of Jamie.
“She has done this before. The lady dealt another World card.
“You can tell it was a she?”
“Yes. This deception is for a cause.”
“What’s the cause?”
“To cause deception to another.”
“Who’s that?”
“I can see someone following you, who has also been deceived by the same person.” An upright Devil card was pulled.
“Is that person here?” asked Nick. He didn’t like the look of the card.
“That person is looking for you at a distant place.”
“Why does he think he’s looking for me?” He started to think about Elderberry. The next card she turned over was the Death card.
“I see a death.”
“Is it mine?” Nick asked. His eyes were open wide with wonder and fear.
“No. He is looking for you because you caused this death.”
“But I didn’t kill anyone.”
“This is what he believes. I also see another death in the very near future.”
“Someone I know?”
“No, but it will be someone who will affect the life of a loved one.”
“What do you mean by a loved one?” Nick asked.
“It means someone you love, stupid.” She was getting a little frustrated with clueless Nick.
“Who is that?” asked Nick. “Turn over another card.”
“You mean to tell me you don’t know who you love?”
“It depends what you mean by love.”
“You better take out your wallet. This could take a while.”
Nick opened his wallet and pulled out another ten. He handed it to her and said, “This better be good.”
Lance Miller was showing Elderberry the sights of Los Angeles. Gerome’s fascination with the handsome reporter grew dim. He couldn’t remember the last time he had an interest in another person, and he decided now wasn’t the time to start. He started focusing on his reason for being there.
“This is all great, Lance, but I need to get down to business.”
“Well, we could go back to my place and…”
“No, not that kind of business. I’m here for a reason.”
“Well, I am, too,” said Lance.
“For what reason are you with me?” The few moments of distraction were all he needed to recharge his mind. He grew suspicious of Lance.
“I’m supposed to keep you entertained and assist you,” Lance remarked.
“Assist me for what?”
“In finding Nicholas Peltier.”
“Ah ha. Got you. I never mentioned Pet-tire’s name to you or anyone else besides Chief Bushman. Who the hell are you working for?”
“Like I told you – The LA Times.”
“Something is up here. Take me back to the airport.”
“But you haven’t seen enough of LA yet.”
“Oh, I’ve seen quite enough,” said a frustrated Elderberry. Lance drove back to the airport after trying to convince Elderberry to stay. He dropped Gerome off at the front entrance.
“Where will you be going next?” he asked.
“I’m going to find Pel-tire wherever he is. He’s not going to get away from me.” Gerome ran into the airport
to begin his search. Lance picked up his car phone.
“Hello O’Malley? This is Miller. I couldn’t keep him detained long enough. He was getting suspicious.”
“That’s okay,” said Jamie. “There’s no way for him to track Nick to New Orleans. Thanks for the help.”
Lance put his car phone down but noticed it didn’t quite fit into its slot. He shoved it in without thinking twice. He never saw the small device attached, keeping it from fitting in its holder. Elderberry smiled as he took a small earpiece out his ear. He was able to listen to Lance and Jamie’s conversation using the micro transmitter he attached to Lance’s phone while driving around town.
“Never trust a pretty boy,” he said to himself. “Looks like O’Malley is trying to throw me off track.” He went to the ticket counter and got on the next flight to New Orleans.
“Love is an emotion you don’t quite understand, correct?” the old lady asked Nick.
“Well, it doesn’t take a psychic to tell me that,” answered Nick.
“You are unlucky at love.” The Love card was upside-down.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it unlucky.”
“You aren’t exactly winning the lottery, either.” The Wealth card was sideways.
“Good point,” said Nick.
“I see competition with the one you love.”
“Wait a second. We didn’t come to the conclusion that I loved a certain person.”
“Nick – I may be old and blind, but I’m not stupid. I see someone else in the picture.”
“What am I supposed to do about it?”
“You must profess your love to her.”
“I can’t do that. I’m not sure that I do.” He was now sure she was talking about Andie.
“You must make sure soon. The competition is getting fierce.”
Back on the plane, Andie was complaining about getting cold. Harold pulled out a blanket from the overhead compartment and placed it on Andie’s lap.
“Would you like to share a bit of this blanket?” asked Andie, with a sheepish grin.
“No, thanks. I’m fine,” said the clueless Harold.
“Why don’t you take some of it anyway?” She laid it out over his lap. She slid her hand underneath and started rubbing Harold’s inner leg.
“Oh, I see,” he said with a smile. “This is going to be great flight.”
“I see you’re a bit more relaxed,” said flight attendant Gina, as she passed by.
“Yes, he is,” replied Andie, with a sheepish grin. “I got a grip on the situation.”
“I also see strong ties to other people in your life. I see a bond with another woman in your life. She’s some kind of friend, but not a love interest. She is near,” the old lady said to Nick.
“I guess you can say I’m kind of close to Debbie, but she’s nowhere close to here,” said Nick. He thought of Debbie, who was probably back home crying about seeing Tony and Kat together.
“We can get a room at the Hilton downtown,” Marlena told Debbie. “I have a cousin that works there and it’s within walking distance to Bourbon Street.”
“Sounds great to me,” said Debbie, who was up for anything. They hopped into a cab and headed to the Hilton.
“I feel she is close,” said the old lady. “I also see a man who you are close to.”
“I am not gay,” replied Nick. Nick wasn’t homophobic. He was concerned that he couldn’t remember any of the sexual experiences he had in the last year.
“No, you idiot.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Well, you are. Let me do my job. I see a friend, who just happens to be a man, close to you.”
“I guess you can say Benny and I are on the close side – I mean like a brotherly thing.”
“No, you don’t understand. I see him close – He is near.”
“Now I’m sure you’re off your rocker. Benny’s back in New Lake City, taking care of business…”
“With a beautiful young lady.”
Nick shook his head and smiled. “Yeah, imagine that - Benny with Julie Templeton. That’s got to be the mismatch of the century. How do I know her?”
“He is here with her. The other woman is also here. You are about to have your present life mixed with your past. It will deeply confuse you. You will have to seek answers from your deeper past.” She dealt the Sun card upside-down.
“Okay,” said Nick. “Now you’re getting silly. There’s no way Debbie’s here in New Orleans, much less Benny and Julie Templeton.”
The Apocalypse corporate jet landed at the Lakefront Airport. Julie was wearing baseball cap and dark sunglasses. The frumpy sweatshirt and jeans ensemble was a feeble attempt to hide he curvaceous body. She stepped out ahead of Benny and waived at the limo waiting for them. The Apocalypse corporate account was set up to use at one hotel. They got into the limo and headed to the New Orleans Downtown Hilton.
“I guess now you’re going to tell me that Satan is here, too,” said Nick.
“I do see an evil presence,” said the old lady. The next card she played down was another Devil card.
“So Jamie, Tony, and Lucille are here in New Orleans. Next thing you know, you’ll have the whole town of New Lake here.”
“No. I do not see this Tony or Jamie you speak of in town. The Lucille name you speak of isn’t here either. The evil presence is of another form.”
“What is it?” He thought he covered all the bases. She shuffled the cards around but couldn’t get an answer.
“I guess it’s not for me to determine what the evil force is. This is for you to find out.”
Nick pulled out an extra ten dollars and gave it to her. “Well, I don’t think you gave me any answers, but you sure were entertaining.”
“Don’t take the cards lightly. They do not lie.” Nick smiled and walked away. He got a few steps down when he heard the lady bawl. “Nicholas. The cards - do – not – lie.” She took off her shades and looked in his direction. Her pale eyes were red with fear. “Be careful, Nicholas.” He could see the fear in the eyes that saw nothing. He walked back to her.
“Didn’t you say something about another death?” he asked.
“The cards have finished talking to me,” she said. “I don’t wish to discuss it anymore.”
“But you said something about another death, involving someone I don’t know, but would affect the life of Andie.”
“I said a loved one.”
“But you were talking about Andie.”
“Was I? You’re the one who just mentioned her name.”
“What is your deal, lady?”
“It wasn’t my deal. It was yours.”
“Why is it disturbing to you? You do this all day, everyday. What makes me so special?”
She took a long time to answer. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”
“Well, I really appreciate your concern, but you don’t even know me.”
“I’ve known you all your life.” She became solemn.
“You mean your cards show my life like you’ve known me all of it.”
“No, I mean I was there the moment you were born.”
Nick hesitated for a few moments. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”
She held her hand for Nick to grab. Tears were starting to flow as she confessed, “I was the nurse who helped deliver you. I was there to wrap you up in the blanket the moment they took your mother out the delivery room. I saw the look on your father’s face as he gazed at your mother’s lifeless body. I saw him run out the hospital. I saw the tears in your grandmother’s eyes as she saw her dead daughter-in-law, her son running away, and you being held by me.”
Nick was almost in tears. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but somehow believed her.
“Tell me. What else did you see?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing, like you don’t remember what you saw?”
“No, I mean nothing. From that moment on, I saw nothing.”
“So y
ou turned away and acted like nothing happened. I guess I can understand that, you being a nurse and not wanting to get involved. I mean, I’m just a guy who lost his mother only because I was born.”
“Nicholas, you don’t understand what I’m saying. From that moment, I saw, and still see nothing. I went blind.”
“Oh, God. I’m responsible for your blindness. What the hell kind of person am I?” After years of not accepting responsibilities for his actions, this revelation hit Nick hard.
“No, Nicholas. You are not at fault. The emotion of the whole incident caused me to go blind. I went to doctors all over the state. None could tell me why I couldn’t see. But, I could see. I was seeing things beyond sight. I was awarded a gift.”
“So, you’re not mad at me?”
“Of course not. I’ve had a full life. For some reason, God has chosen this path for me. Now, I can see the past, feel the present and foresee the future. I have you to thank for that.”
“But you’re blind and here out in the streets of New Orleans. You want to thank me for this?”
“I have accepted this role in my late life,” she said.
“Where do you live?”
“I live a few blocks away from here with Horace.”
“Who’s Horace?”
“He’s over there, across the street, playing trumpet for the tourists.”
“Are you happy?”
“I am at a place in life where I can be at peace with myself. I tell people what they want to hear. If I see a change in their lives they must know about, I let them know just enough to keep them on the right track.”
“Am I on the right track?”
“Be careful, Nicholas. Just be careful. Now go on to Pat O’Brien’s and get yourself a Hurricane.”
“How did you know that’s what I wanted?”
She shook her head and smiled. “It was great to see you again, Nicholas. Just remember – New Orleans is a melting pot. It has a lot of different ingredients. If they are mixed well, it’s a beautiful thing. But if it gets stirred too fast, you can get sucked into a vortex from hell. Now, go on.”
Nick walked away again. This was the first connection he’d ever had to somebody who was there when he was born, other than his Maw-Maw. He started thinking - how could a blind person see me passing by, know all the information about Andie, and claim to be there at my birth. The details were amazing. Somebody could have been feeding her information about me. And what the hell is this vortex thing? I need to go back and find out. He turned around after walking about fifty feet. The old lady was gone. He looked across the street at Café Du Monde. He heard the trumpet playing, but it was a different musician than earlier. I’m losing my mind, he thought.
The Devil's in My Bathroom Page 36