CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE: Love Blender
The crowd started to gather in the lounge area at El Muchacho. Chaz Reed began his first set of songs by playing a couple of Jimmy Buffet tunes. The crowd didn’t respond. He followed up by turning out songs by James Taylor, Jim Croce, Elton John, and Garth Brooks. The patrons still didn’t give more than a polite patter of wimpy applause.
“Okay, guys. I’m having a tough time getting you into the groove here. What do y’all want me to play?” he asked.
“Play Love Blender,” said a young, cute blond, who was sitting at a table with four other attractive girls. They all clapped to the request. This was the type of request Chaz found hard to refuse. He did have the talent of being able to recreate a song on the acoustic guitar, even after only hearing it once. Now, he had to play the song he hated so much, but loved the audience requesting it.
“Okay, you win,” said Chaz. “I’ll give it a try.” He started a ponderous strumming on his acoustic guitar, trying to somewhat recreate the thrashing sounds of The Cramping Violets.
“Your love has crushed my heart just like a - love blender.
I know that you're just faking it just like a pretender.
Chew me up and grind me and you know where you can find me.
Love Blender, I hate you!” he sang.
The crowd went wild. They started clapping and cheering much to Chaz’s delight. It reminded him of the time when he was the leader of a band that almost made the big time, but fell just short before breaking up. The noise was even loud enough to wake Debbie, who was passed out at the end of the bar.
“Play it again,” screamed the cute blond. The crowd responded with a resound cheer.
“I’ll play it again a little later,” said the smiling Chaz. “It looks like we woke up my new friend over there. Why don’t we see what she’d like to hear? Hey Debbie, what song do you want me to play next?”
“Oh, no,” Debbie muttered to herself. She turned her head, trying to ignore the request.
“Come on, Debbie,” Chaz repeated into the microphone. “What do you want to hear?”
The audience responded by chanting, “Deb-bie, Deb-bie, Deb-bie…”
“Please, leave me alone,” said the embarrassed Debbie.
“I’m afraid I don’t know that one,” said Chaz. “How ‘bout I play Love Blender again?” The crowd went wild. Debbie ordered another drink in disgust.
“This is going to be a long night,” she told Raul.
At the hospital, Tony was having a tough time locating Peter Grimes. He had been transferred to a secret room by order of Chief Bushman. Tony did see Carlos yelling at his wife, who was hugging Officer Gillis.
“Why are you embracing the wife of this bad man?” asked Tony.
“I’m sorry, Tony,” said Officer Gillis. “I’m in the middle of a serious situation right now. I can’t help you.”
“Who is this man?” asked Carlos.
“My name is Antonio Satanelli. I am trying to help my friend, William Joseph Wainwright,” Tony announced.
“What?” asked Carlos.
“That’s right,” said Tony. “I know all about you, Carlos. You are a disgrace to the Italian people. William told me all about your scam. Officer Gillis, I want you to arrest this man.”
Officer Gillis was still holding Isabella, ignoring Tony’s plea. Suddenly, Tony felt a hard, blunt thud on the back of his neck. The next thing he knew, he opened his eyes and found himself in Peter Grimes’ room. He was in a chair next to the bed, being stared at by Dave Peltier and Chief Bushman.
“What do you know about Wainwright?” asked Bushman.
“Why are you trying to find Peter Grimes?” asked Dave Peltier.
“Why did you bring Satan into my room?” asked Peter Grimes.
Tony was dazed from the bump on the head, but started to focus. He looked at Bushman and Peltier.
“You two men are very bad,” he said. “You have taken away the dignity of my good friend, Joseph. He has been living next to a dumpster behind the establishment where I am employed. I do not see how you can live with yourselves.” He turned towards Peter. “And you, Peter Grimes. You have done something to make my little pepperoni to go astray. I will not let you get away with this.”
“Listen here, spaghetti boy,” said Dave. “You have gotten yourself involved in something you have no business in. We have to figure out what to do with you.”
“So you think I can be intimidated by your threats? You are thoroughly mistaken,” said Tony. He turned towards Peter.
“Why are you staring at me?” asked Peter.
“You think I’m the Prince of Darkness, don’t you?” Tony asked.
“Why did you bring this man in here?” Peter asked Bushman and Peltier.
“You’re scared, aren’t you?” asked Tony.
“Sit down and keep quiet,” said Bushman.
“Why should I listen to you?” asked Tony. “You should be afraid, yourself.”
“Well, for one thing, I’m the Chief of Police. That’s why you should be afraid of me – and why should I be afraid of you?”
“I know all about your little plan to betray Peter Grimes and your intention to double-cross your partner here.” He pointed to Dave.
“I’m not his partner,” said Dave. “And what do you mean by double-cross?”
“You should know,” said Tony. “You are planning to do the same thing to Peter Grimes and this corrupt chief.”
“I don’t know what the hell you are talking about,” said the agitated Dave.
“What’s going on?” asked Peter.
“You should know, Peter,” said Tony. “You don’t have any plans to include these two gentlemen in the rewards you are about to reap.”
“You’re insane,” screamed Peter. “Of course they’re going to be compensated for the work they’re doing. We’re going to take over Verona Enterprises and they’ll be my right-hand men.” The pain-killing drugs were having a profound effect of Peter’s discretion.
“Shut up, Grimes,” said Dave. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure, I do,” said Peter. “Hell, Satan here, of all people, should know what’s going on with our plan. Are you two planning to deceive me?”
“All three of you are planning to deceive each other,” said Tony. “And worst of all, you are planning to deceive the man who made this all possible – a man whose moral fibers are thinner than that of angel-hair pasta”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Bushman.
“Of course I do,” said Tony. He turned to the door and yelled, “Hey Carlos.”
Carlos walked in, much to the surprise of Peter, Dave, and Bushman.
“What do we have here?” asked Carlos.
“How long have you been standing outside the door?” asked the surprised Dave.
“Long enough to hear Grimes announce that you all plan to take over Verona Enterprises,” said the disappointed Carlos. “I thought I could trust you, Peter. I treated you like a brother. This is the thanks I get?”
“But I helped save your son’s life by being a bad driver and getting my wife killed,” said Peter. Dave and Bushman shook their heads.
“I am grateful to you for that, but I thought you had more morals than what you have”
“Now’s not the time to be questioning morals,” said Dave.
“Nobody is trying to put a scam on you, Mr. Verona,” said Chief Bushman.
“I heard all of you saying those things. Do you think I’m some kind of idiot?” asked Carlos. He turned towards Tony. “Why did you call me a very bad man back there?”
“I know all about Wainwright,” said Tony. “He is safely tucked away where nobody can find him. I know you probably want to kill me right now, but I do not care. I cannot find my precious fettuccine and my good friend is half-naked somewhere. I do not fear you.”
“Hey, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” said Verona.
“Grimes here is the one w
ho came up with the whole scheme to keep Wainwright drugged up and drunk this past year. I really didn’t want to go along with it. I just went along with it as a favor to him for helping my business.”
“Favor to me?” asked Peter. “I did it as a favor to you. You were the one who wanted to see him suffer for stealing your girlfriend.”
“I just went along with it. I had nothing to do with it. You are my attorney and assured me that everything you were doing was legal,” said Carlos.
“That’s complete bullshit,” said Peter. “You’ve been using my firm to do your dirty work this whole year.”
“Your firm?” asked Dave. “What about the Wainwright matter. I’m the one who’s been making the whole safari thing look legit. You owe me big time, Grimes.”
“Well, I’ve been the one who’s kept the entire police force off everybody’s case here,” said Bushman. “If it wasn’t for me, everybody here would be behind bars.”
“Including you, Chief,” said Officer Gillis, who was holding a small tape recorder as she walked onto the room. She smiled at Tony. “Good work, my friend.”
“I should be upset with you for stealing my wife,” Carlos said to Gillis, “But I am actually grateful. You have helped me discover what kind of people I have been associated with.”
“Glad to help,” said Gillis. “Chief Bushman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to turn this tape in.”
“Don’t believe this mob monster here, Gillis,” said Bushman. “He’s the one behind everything.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” said Gillis.
Bushman pulled a gun out of his jacket. “Nobody move,” he ordered. “Gillis, hand me that tape.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, sir.”
“Gillis, give me that tape, now,” he said, as he pointed the gun her way.
“No, sir. I can’t.”
“I’m going to count to three, then the tape better be in my hands. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir, I understand – but you’re not getting this tape.”
“Bushman, you’re not going to shoot one of your people right here in a hospital,” said Dave. “That would be stupid, even for you.”
“Quit calling me stupid,” said Bushman, as he pointed the gun towards Dave.
“Well, you are pretty stupid,” said Peter. “You can’t even control your own people.”
“Don’t you call me stupid, either,” said Bushman. He pointed the gun towards the bed-ridden Grimes.
“I have to agree with Grimes and this other guy,” said Carlos. “You are pretty stupid.”
“Stop it – all of you. I am not stupid. I am the Chief of Police of New Lake City. I am not stupid.” He turned the gun back towards Gillis. “Now give me the goddamn tape.”
“No, sir,” said Gillis. “I can’t do that.”
Bushman was enraged. “Okay, I’m serious - one.”
“You’re not getting this tape,” said Gillis.
“Two.”
“You’re still not going to get it.”
“I mean it. I’m about to say three.”
“Go ahead,” said Gillis, with a smile. The room was tense with anticipation.
“Three,” said Bushman, as he pulled the trigger. Everyone in the room ducked except Gillis. She laughed as she heard the click of the empty gun.
“That’s really going to sound good on this tape,” said Gillis. “Come on in, guys.”
The door opened and three officers came in and handcuffed Bushman.
“It wasn’t loaded?” Bushman asked in disbelief. “How did you know it wasn’t loaded?”
“I’m the one who issued it to you,” said Gillis. “It doesn’t even work. You liked it so much; I never had the heart to tell you it wouldn’t fire. It never was loaded.”
“You really are stupid,” said Dave.
“Laugh all you want,” cried Bushman, as he was escorted out the room. “I’m taking everyone down with me.”
“You’re next,” Gillis told Peter, as she followed the officers out the room.
“What did she mean by that?” asked Peter.
“Well, Pete. It looks like I better be going,” said Dave. “I hope you feel better, soon.” He left the room.
“Come back here, Peltier,” hollered Peter. “We’re not finished yet.”
“I think you are, Grimes,” said Carlos. “Wainwright is obviously around somewhere, telling people about the scheme.” He turned to Tony. “Where do you fit into this, my brother?”
“Do not call me brother, you bad man,” said Tony. “I am going to make sure you pay for all this. You do not frighten me.” He stood up and walked out the room.
“Why are you letting him get away?” asked Peter.
“I’m not worried about him. He actually helped me out. After your two idiots bopped him on the head, Officer Gillis told me what that man told her. I was right outside the door, waiting for you to confess your plan. I still have the whole police force behind me. You’re the one with the problem,” said Carlos.
“What are you going to do? Kill me?”
“You know I don’t do that sort of thing, Grimes. That’s why I hired you people.”
“So what do you plan to do with me?”
“I’ll just get the same person you got to kill that drummer to kill you.”
“We didn’t hire anybody to kill that drummer. You can’t get away with this, Carlos.”
“Those are strong words from a man, lying in a bed with two broken legs. Who are you going to call – the police?”
“What about Officer Gillis? She seems to be on the side of the law.”
“Grimes, she’s screwing my wife. She’s not going to do anything to hurt me. Besides, you don’t have a leg to stand on.” He started laughing. “You really don’t have any legs to stand on. I couldn’t have done a better job myself.” Carlos left the room still laughing hysterically. He was met in Frank’s room by a disturbing phone call.
Peter was frightened beyond belief. The only person he could call was Harold.
The Devil's in My Bathroom Page 57