He nodded cautiously.
“Is this all coming from your antiquated studies of courtship? Because a lot of those dating suggestions are outdated.”
“I know that, Kelsey.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t want to pressure you to choose me in any way.”
Angrily, I jumped off the couch and walked in a circle. “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard!” I went to the kitchen to get a soda and realized that I wasn’t just shocked, I was mad and that part of my anger stemmed from the fact that he wasn’t too far off from the truth. I did get weak-kneed every time he touched me.
I suddenly felt like a pawn in one of Li’s board games. Well, two can play at that game. I decided to retaliate. If there was going to be a war for my affection then why couldn’t I be a fighter too? Girls have an entirely unique arsenal of weapons, I mused as I planned my battle strategy. From that point on, I decided that I would test Ren’s resistance. I would get Ren to kiss me.
I immediately put my plan into action. We returned to the movie, and I tucked my head against Ren’s shoulder, my lips just inches from his, and traced little circles on the back of his hand. My aggressiveness made him nervous. He kept twitching and shifting his position, but he didn’t let go or move farther away.
After the movie, Ren suddenly announced that our date was over. I liked this. The balance of power had shifted. I trailed my fingers over his muscular bicep then traced little hearts on his forearm and pouted.
“Your hours as a man are so short. Don’t you want to be with me?”
He touched my face. “More than I want to breathe.”
I couldn’t help it; I swayed into him.
He caught me and shook me gently, “I’m not going to kiss you, Kelsey. I don’t want you to be confused about who you want. Of course if you chose to kiss me, I wouldn’t put up much of a fight.”
Pushing away from him, I groused, “Ha! Well, you’ll be waiting a long time for that, Mister.” I put my fists on my hips and smirked. “That news must be shocking for a man who always gets what he wants.”
He snuck his hands around my waist and pulled me up against his chest then ducked his lips to within inches of mine. “Not . . . what I want . . . the most.”
He hesitated for a minute, waiting for me to make a move, but I didn’t. I was determined to get him to kiss me first. Instead, I smiled and waited. We were locked in a silent struggle of wills.
Finally, he broke away. “You are entirely too tempting, Kelsey. Date’s over.”
Suddenly, nothing in the world was as important to me as winning this war of wills with Ren. Leaning in closer, I batted my eyes innocently, and, in the most seductive voice I could manage, asked coyly, “Are you absolutely sure you have to leave?”
I felt his arm muscles tighten and his pulse quicken. He cupped my cheek with his hand. Hoping to push him over the edge, I placed my hand on top of his and pressed a warm kiss on his palm. Teasing his palm with my lips, I heard him hitch a breath. I had no idea he reacted this way to me. This will be easier than I thought.
I squeezed his arm lightly and walked toward the stairs, feeling his eyes on me. Doing my best Scarlett O’Hara impersonation, I turned one last time and said, “Well . . . Tiger, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” I trailed my fingers along the railing and continued up the stairs.
Unfortunately, he didn’t follow me. I’d envisioned Ren playing the role of Rhett Butler and, not being able to help himself, he’d sweep me into his arms and carry me up the stairs in a dramatic show of passion. But Ren shot me an amused look and left, closing the door quietly behind him.
Drat! He has more self-control than I thought.
It didn’t matter. It was just a minor setback. I spent the rest of that day brainstorming. How do you catch a very old, very alert tiger by surprise? Use his weaknesses: food, feminine wiles, poetry, and overprotectiveness. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance.
The next morning, I opened the once-forbidden side of the closet, picked out a navy cable cardigan and a printed skirt, a thin belt, and tall brown boots. I straightened my hair and paid special attention to my makeup, especially the peach lip gloss.
Next, I made Ren a giant Dagwood sandwich—and slipped a love note on top. Two can play the poetry game, I thought smugly.
The soul that can speak through the eyes can also kiss with a gaze.
—Gustavo Adolfo Becquer
When he came over to pick me up for class, he looked me up and down, and said, “You look beautiful, Kells, but it’s not going to work. I’m on to you.”
He helped me into my coat, and I replied innocently, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. What’s not going to work?”
“You’re trying to get me to kiss you.”
I smiled up at him and said demurely, “A girl shouldn’t give away all her secrets now, should she?”
He leaned in close, pressed his lips to my ear, and whispered in a velvety voice, “Fine, Kells. Keep your secrets. But, I’m watching you. Whatever it is you think you’re trying to do isn’t going to work. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve too.”
Ren left me alone all afternoon. I tucked another note in his gym bag as he was getting out of the car before wushu.
Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.
—Percy Bysshe Shelley
I was sitting on the floor stretching when I saw him pull the note out of his bag. He read it through a couple of times and then looked up and caught my look. I met his hot gaze with an innocent grin and waved happily to Jennifer as she crossed the room.
Back at home inside our garage, Ren opened the door for me. Instead of helping me out, he leaned over and growled softly. His lips brushed against the sensitive skin under my ear. His voice was seductive, dangerous.
“I’m warning you, Kelsey. I’m an extremely patient man. I’ve had extensive practice in waiting out the enemy. My life as a tiger has taught me that persistence and diligence always pay off. Consider yourself forewarned, priyatama. I’m on the hunt. I’ve caught your scent, and I won’t be thwarted in my course.”
He stepped away and extended a hand to help me out. I ignored it and walked to my door with a stiff back and wobbly legs. I heard his soft laugh on the breeze as he disappeared into his own part of the house.
He was driving me crazy. I was tempted to break down the door and throw myself at him, but I refused to give in. I was going to entice him this time. He would be the one begging for mercy, not me.
Soon, I discovered that the battle of wills between Ren and me had pushed Li to the furthest corner of my mind. Every time I was with Li, my mind drifted far away, planning ways to seduce Ren. It was so obvious that even Li noticed.
“Earth to Kelsey. Are you going to acknowledge my existence now?” Li asked tensely one evening during one of his favorite martial arts movies.
“What do you mean?”
“Kelsey, you’ve just been going through the motions for the last week. You haven’t been here at all.”
“Well . . . I’m back in school now, and homework is distracting.”
“It’s not your homework, Kelsey. It’s him.”
In an instant, I felt remorse. Li had done nothing wrong, and the least I could do was to pay attention to him. “I’m sorry, Li. I didn’t realize that I’d been ignoring you. You’re absolutely right. I’m here with you now, 100 percent. Tell me again why this martial arts movie is a classic.”
Li studied my face for a minute and then began explaining about Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow, Jackie Chan’s debut movie. I really was interested, and he seemed appeased by that.
The rest of the evening went smoothly, but I felt guilty about Li. I wasn’t giving him the attention he deserved. What was worse was that I wished Ren had been watching the movie with us.
When I got home late that night from my date, I taped a note onto Ren’s side of our connecting door.
Once he drew
With one long kiss my whole
soul thro’
My lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.
—Alfred Lord Tennyson
Ren hadn’t kissed me in three weeks, and I thought I was weakening more than he was. I’d tried everything I could think of and still hadn’t gotten so much as a nibble on my baited lip. I had nothing to show for my weeks of effort. I now owned an entire collection of lipsticks and glosses and had tried every single one of them to no effect.
In wushu, he pulled another note out of his bag, read through it, and raised an eyebrow in my direction. This one was the most over-the-top one that I’d given him, and I’d purposely saved it for last. It was my last-ditch effort.
Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score;
Then to that twenty, add a hundred more:
A thousand to that hundred: so kiss on,
To make that thousand up a million.
Treble that million, and when that is done,
Let’s kiss afresh, as when we first begun.
—Robert Herrick
Ren didn’t say anything, but he looked at me with smoldering, intense eyes. I boldly returned his gaze and felt a hot, sizzling link spark up between us. It connected us and burned a hole through my middle even though we were on opposite sides of the room. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, and he appeared to be suffering with the same affliction.
Suddenly, Li announced that we were going to be doing take-downs again, which he had avoided since his first session with Ren. This time, Li and Ren were going to demonstrate the moves to the rest of us. Li instructed us to all sit back against the wall. Ren reluctantly broke eye contact with me and moved up to face his opponent.
The two men circled each other. Li made the first move, a backward roundhouse to show off and move in closer, but Ren gracefully blocked it. Li shifted his weight to one leg and swept behind Ren’s knee then threw a punch at Ren’s chest. Ren shifted to the right so Li’s sweep missed and used his palm to block the punch. Li used an elaborate corkscrew maneuver next, placed one hand on the floor, and attacked with a scissor kick. Ren grabbed Li’s foot and twisted, bringing Li down hard on his stomach. Li rolled away angrily and returned a series of punches. Ren blocked him high, low, and even backward, effectively neutralizing Li’s attacks.
Li realized he was getting nowhere. He faked a punch to grab Ren’s arm and yanked hard so he could do a backward kick to the face, but Ren pulled him off balance, and Li fell to the mat again. He did a kick-up and turned to face Ren, and they circled again.
“Do you really want to continue this?” Ren said. “You’ve proved you’re a good fighter.”
“I’m not trying to prove anything.” He grinned. “I just wanted to stop you from ogling my girl.” He shot off a quick double punch to Ren’s chest. Ren simply grabbed Li’s wrists and twisted them outward. Li howled and stepped away. He came back with a front kick to Ren’s face.
Ren grabbed his heel. “She hasn’t decided yet whose girl she is.” He lifted his arms and threw Li, flipping him upside down. “But, if I were a betting man, I wouldn’t be giving you very good odds.”
I gasped in outrage and embarrassment. Ren turned to look at me. Seeing he was distracted, Li grabbed Ren’s arms from behind and pushed up, a move that immobilized most people. Without missing a beat, Ren ran up a wall with Li still holding his arms and flipped over him in the air.
When he landed, he flicked his wrists, effectively reversing their positions. Li’s elbows were now pointed in the air while Ren pushed down slightly. When Li gasped in pain, Ren quickly let him go. Li spun out and tried sweeping Ren’s legs again, but Ren leapt over them, twisted, and pinned Li easily.
Jennifer looked at me nervously and grabbed my hand. Li was enraged. He wiped his mouth and spat out, “You let me worry about my odds.” He spun and kicked, making contact with Ren’s chest. The impact caused both of them to take a few steps back. Li taunted, “At least I didn’t give her up and walk away.”
The moves were too fast for me to discern now. I saw punches, arm-blocks, step-back twists, side kicks, foot play, and kick blocks.
At one point, Ren ran at Li and did a complicated aerial somersault in tucked position, double twisted, and flipped over Li entirely in the air. As he was coming down, he placed his hand on Li’s back and used his momentum to push Li flat on his face on the mat. The class started clapping and cheering.
Ren pressed his hand against Li’s back, holding him immobile, and growled quietly, “No. But you will. She’s mine.”
Ren let him up, and Li became a raging bull after that, going after Ren with everything he had. Sweat was pouring down his face, and he was breathing hard. He attacked even more viciously than he had before, and Ren stepped up his game a little too. Li was finally getting in some punches. I was mortified that they were fighting over me. Publicly. At the same time, I couldn’t take my eyes off them.
Li was a force to be reckoned with. He was obviously highly skilled. However, there was still a world of difference between him and Ren. It was almost like they were moving at two different speeds.
I watched Ren fight. In fact, it would have been impossible for me to look away. Each move was a beautiful study in form. I found myself entranced by the calculated control and power he displayed. He was simply magnificent. A fighter worthy of the tiger he often was.
I was furious that he had the audacity to claim me as his in front of everyone. Yet, at the same time, I was secretly thrilled that he wanted me that fiercely. He really was a warrior-angel. My warrior-angel, I thought possessively.
After about fifteen minutes of fighting hard and getting nowhere, Li, panting forcefully, dismissed the class.
I tried to talk with him, but he waved me off and grabbed a towel to cover his head.
Li didn’t call or ask me out on any dates the next week. After wushu class on Friday, Li asked to speak with me and told Ren he would drive me home. Ren nodded and left quietly. They’d been oddly civil to each other since the fight.
Li sat down and patted the mat next to him. “Kelsey, I need to ask you something, and I want you to answer honestly.”
“Okay.”
“Why did you leave Ren?”
I shifted uncomfortably. “I left him because . . . we’re not right for each other.”
“What do you mean?”
I stayed silent for a moment, and then replied, “There are a couple of reasons. The main one is that . . . it’s difficult to explain. First of all, he’s gorgeous, and I’m . . . not. He’s also very wealthy. In fact, he comes from royalty. He’s from a different culture and background, and he hasn’t dated much and—”
“But, Kelsey, the two of us are also from different cultures and backgrounds, and that didn’t bother you. Does his family not like you?”
“No. His parents are gone. His brother likes me.” I twisted my hands in my lap. “I guess it boils down to me thinking that he’s going to wake up and figure out I’m not a princess. I think he’ll be disappointed if he chooses me. It’s just a matter of time before he realizes that and leaves me for someone else, someone better.”
Li turned toward me, his face incredulous. “So you’re telling me that the reason you left him was because you thought he was too good for you?”
“Basically, yes. He would have trapped himself with me and been unhappy.”
“Does he ever act unhappy around you?”
“No.”
Li said reflectively, “Kelsey, as much as it kills me to say this, Ren strikes me as a very careful, thoughtful person. During our fight, I used every dirty trick and skill at my disposal, and he barely hit me back. He clearly had the advantage. His skills are beyond anything I’ve seen before. It’s like he studied with all of the old masters.”
He probably did.
“But, during the fight, he actually took hits so that I wouldn’t get hurt. That shows not only incredible skill, but amazing forethought.”
I shrugged. “I already knew he was a good fighter.”
“No
, you don’t understand my point. To hone skill like that, to fight like that, takes discipline. He could have smashed me into the floor, but he didn’t.” He laughed ironically. “Half the time, he wasn’t even watching me! He was watching you, concerned about your reaction. He wasn’t even paying attention to the guy who was seriously trying to kill him.”
“What are you trying to say, Li?”
“I’m trying to say that the man is desperately in love with you. It’s obvious to me and to everyone else. If you love him, you have to tell him. Your fears about him leaving you don’t fit with his personality. Like I said, he’s the type of man who makes decisions and sticks by them. There’s nothing about him that makes me think he’s anything less than sincere.”
“But—”
Li took my hands in his and looked into my eyes. “Kelsey. He only sees you.”
I looked down at my hands.
“And as far as you not being good enough for him, it’s actually the opposite. He isn’t good enough for you.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“No. No, I’m not. You’re amazing and sweet and pretty, and he’d be lucky to have you.”
“Li, why are you doing this?”
“Because . . . I genuinely like the guy. I respect him. And, because I can see that your feelings for him are much stronger than your feelings for me. You’re happier with him.”
“I’m happy with you too.”
“Yes, but it’s not the same. Go home to him, Kelsey. You obviously love him. Tell him that. Give him a chance.” He sniggered quietly. “But don’t forget to tell him that I was the bigger man who walked away.” He reached over and wrapped me in a bear hug. “I’ll miss you, Kelsey.”
Something in me clicked, and my perspective suddenly changed. It was time to let Li go. It wasn’t fair to continue to put him through this. My heart would never belong to him; deep down, I’d known that for a while. I’d been using him as an emotional crutch. My whole relationship with him had become an excuse so I could postpone facing Ren. Whether I ended up with Ren or not, I knew this had to be the end for Li and me.
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