by Maggie Thom
I’ve hired a private investigator.
Now she had to step things up.
What she was planning was not smart but she really didn’t know what else to do. She’d finally earned their trust and was now throwing it out the window. The thought of Stephen finding her though was keeping her from sleeping and she felt she was developing a nervous tick—looking over her shoulder every five minutes. He’d take Chance from her just to bend her to his will; she was sure of that. She felt caught in this vortex of the need to find answers, to resolve some issues in her life and for once bask in a normal, carefree life. She’d had fleeting moments of normalcy—raising a son, going to work, paying bills, a myriad of responsibilities that came with adulthood. But then Stephen kept reminding her that her life was anything but normal.
She had to quit lying to herself that everything would just fade away without her having to do anything. Certainly not break the confidence of others that she’d just gained. She had to be sure she could be free of Stephen legally, but unfortunately, she had no idea if that was possible. The week she’d lost kept her mired in a thick swamp of gloom and monsters lurking in the dark. Until she knew what had happened, until she was sure Stephen had no part in it, until she knew who was responsible, she would never be free.
She didn’t really know what to do but it was all making her feel as though the acid roiling in her stomach was her new best friend. In truth, she realized it was the game she was playing, the lies she was telling, or actually, the omissions that were causing her so much grief. They were so good to her at work and she felt as though she was selling them out. If she believed in luck, she would hope she was lucky enough to remain undiscovered, but since luck had never been a part of her life, she hoped they wouldn’t find out until she was long gone.
Some spoils are inevitable in business, Tarin. Get used to it. Her dad’s words echoed in her head. That was how he operated but not how she ever thought she would. What scared her was the thought that maybe she was more like him than she wanted to be. Sighing, she brushed her fingers over her son’s wispy hair. It was so soft, so comforting. It reminded her of how life was supposed to be, what she was working so hard for, to make it easier for him. He made the slightest of cooing sounds as he slept. It was a good sign he was out for the night. She kissed him and then crept out of his room. She stopped long enough to talk to Kim, Bobbie’s teenage niece, who was now her stepdaughter and who was going to babysit while she was out.
“Uh... Mrs. Roth?”
“Tarin, please.”
“You look great and all. I like that rad haircut. It’s cute but it could be sassy and short you know, not just cropped.” She tilted her head as though she was contemplating how she’d make it look. “Hmmm, anyway, don’t you think you should put on something nice for your date?”
Tarin looked at her wide-eyed before glancing down at the baggy sweats she’d pulled on when she’d arrived home. They were an old pair of Bobbie’s, a bit baggy and short but she loved them. She’d never worn anything like them before. She had her usual skirt laid out on the bed to wear with the USB in the pocket.
“I don’t—”
“I know you didn’t want her to know about your date and you’re trying to keep it hush-hush because you left that dimwad of a husband. But she’s thrilled for you. Aren’t you, Kim?” Bobbie glanced at her daughter.
“Don’t let that jerk get you down or keep you from finding the right guy. I was hoping men got better as they got older. All the guys in my class are idiots. There has to be at least one out there who isn’t. Don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll find someone.”
Tarin was a little stunned at that speech from a fifteen-year-old. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.” She didn’t want to disillusion the girl that in her experience there wasn’t one.
“Hey, I have this perfect stuff for your hair. It’ll give it that sassy look I was talking about. Oh crap. It’s at my other house.”
“Kim.” Bobbie stared hard at her.
“Hey, love your dimple chin. Yours looks just the same as mine. Soon life can get back to normal for all of us.” Kim grinned and went into the living room.
“Dimple chin?”
“It’s cute. I’ve always thought so anyway. And it’s this kid who I think has a crush on her said she had a butt chin. She changed it to dimple chin. She’s been making his life hell,” Bobbie whispered.
Tarin chuckled as Bobbie linked her arm in hers and steered her down the hallway to her bedroom. She’d been very grateful to her friend not only for taking her in but for letting her rent her basement suite. And the best part was she had a built-in babysitter. Bobbie closed the door behind her.
“Her house?”
Bobbie hesitated as she looked away. “Oh, Mom’s. She’s always leaving stuff there. Sorry about the misunderstanding—what she thinks is happening for you. I had to tell her something. She’s very bright. She was asking how come you looked so sad. She assumed it was because of a man. So I went along with it. I didn’t tell her what had happened.”
She knew she was asking for answers herself but Tarin wasn’t ready to share everything with her old friend. Things were still a little bit stilted. She felt bad having her babysit everyday but Bobbie had insisted and Tarin really didn’t have any other choice.
“She says you’re too beautiful, to be a wallflower.”
“Oh, my god. Really. Where does she get this stuff? By the way she’s a great kid. You must be proud of her.”
“Yeah. She’s nothing like me. A lot like hmmm—”
“Your sister?”
“No. No. Not like my family at all. More like... h-her father’s.”
Tarin squeezed her hand. It sounded as though it had been tough when her sister died at twenty-four, leaving Bobbie at nineteen with a six-year-old to raise. Tarin was pretty sure she wouldn’t have been able to do it.
“Okay, let’s get you changed. Jeans should be fine.”
“I don’t have a date, Bobbie.”
“I know that. And you know that. But the man you might meet on the street doesn’t know that. And men who think women are taken are more likely to be interested if you appear as though you’re unavailable.”
Tarin laughed as her friend grinned at her. “You’re nuts. But all right. Then I need to go. I have a lead on my mom; I’m hoping it will help me find her, but it’s kind of freaking me out. The security at work is top notch, so if someone doesn’t want me connecting with her, I should be able to search undetected. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m trying to locate her.” She hated lying to her friend; reconnecting with her mom was one of her goals but not something she had time for right then. And she knew it would keep her friend from asking too many questions.
“Especially your dad. I could help?”
“Thanks, but this is something I’ve got to do myself. Tell Kim to sleep in my bed. I’ll crash on the couch when I get home. I have no idea how long I’ll be.”
“Are you sure you need to do this?”
“Yeah, I don’t trust that Stephen didn’t put a tracer on my computer. I have an uncomfortable feeling. The last thing I want is that son of a bitch finding me because I was too arrogant to think he doesn’t have the brains to put spyware on my laptop—or track me somehow. I’m even scared to check it or remove it, because it might give me away. I’ll be safer at the office. They have every kind of security. I won’t have to worry.” Thankfully Bobbie seemed to understand that she also didn’t want to do it when her bosses were around. She also appeared to have bought her story about Stephen being abusive and ruthless.
Tarin’s phone buzzed. She’d silenced it but left it on vibrate so it wouldn’t wake Chance. She pulled it out of her pocket and checked the phone number. An involuntary shudder shook her body. Bobbie rested her hand on her forearm, looking at her in concern.
“I think I said Stephen’s name too often or worried about him too much. He’s kind of like similar to Beetlejuice; say his name three times and he
appears—or calls in this case.”
“Why don’t you get rid of that phone? Cancel that plan. That’s how he’ll find you, if he’s going to.”
“I’ve disabled the GPS. I know he might be able to track me still but it’s the only way Dad can get hold of me.” And it was her way of keeping track of Stephen. His comment about hiring a private investigator had freaked her out a bit. She needed to find out more.
“Here’s a thought. Call him. Give your dad your new number.”
“I want to but I can’t. He has to be the one—” She hadn’t mentioned that he had called but she hadn’t responded. To her, it hadn’t been the call she’d wanted. She knew things weren’t going to change between them but that phone number was the last link she had, no matter how bad it was.
“Look, I know he’s a jerk. I’ve known you a long time. The man is as cold and emotionless as a wall-mounted fish. And he was scary as hell when we were kids. But come on, you’re his only child. And if it hadn’t been for him, we’d have been separated a long time before you turned sixteen. Don’t you think he owes you some explanations?”
“I’m forever grateful that the only wish of mine he ever granted was to talk your mom into sending you to boarding school with me.”
“You know he paid for me too, right? He paid everything.”
Tarin frowned at the intensity of Bobbie’s expression but put it down to guilt. “Yes. I hoped you didn’t know.”
“My parents weren’t poor but they weren’t rich enough for something like that. Mom always wanted that kind of lifestyle though.” Her voice caught. “I think they were just happy I left and went away to school. They were always fighting and if they weren’t, then I was doing something to screw up their lives. Or so they kept telling me. They split up a few months after we started school.”
Tarin took her friend’s hand. In truth, she knew the only reason he’d done it was to ensure she wouldn’t run away, one of the reasons he’d sent her away in the first place. She’d played in the sand in her fancy clothes. She’d rolled in the mud with the neighbor’s puppy. She’d run away with her stuffed teddy bear and her red sneakers. He’d found her—or rather, one of his men had found her—in the park under a bench which she’d turned into a fort. She’d rebelled for only a short period of time but it had been enough for him to enroll her in a private school; banishing her to a place as cold and lifeless as he.
“I’m surprised my dad didn’t exact some kind of payment from your family in exchange. Who knew he’d do something nice for me, just because. Hey, are you okay?”
Bobbie’s face was so pale it reminded her of the white, sterile walls of her childhood bedroom.
“Yeah. I need to sit. Crazy day. It’s catching up with me.”
Tarin smiled at her friend but noticed she wouldn’t look at her. She shrugged it off, happy to finally have time with her and realizing she needed to get to know her friend again. They’d been apart a long time. She really had no idea what had been going on in Bobbie’s life or what it had meant to her for Tarin to have vanished from her life.
The dumbest decision I ever made.
It was one of the times her father had convinced her that her friend wouldn’t forgive her for what she’d done and besides, with all the embarrassment she’d brought to the family, she owed him. There had never been any real love between them, but the one kind gesture of paying Bobbie’s tuition had bought him her loyalty for a long time. He’d been a master at convincing her that the one stupid thing she’d done at school had cost him dearly. He’d kept her out of juvenile detention but she’d needed to start acting like his daughter and someone he could groom to take over his company one day. With a sick heart, she’d really tried. And somehow she still believed a heart beat in his chest and he had the ability to care for her. All she’d ever wanted was for him to believe in her, to love her. Sadly, she still prayed for it which was why she couldn’t totally break ties with him. He was the only family she had. Her grandfather immediately came to mind but she had no idea if he was an older version of her dad. It was something she’d been too scared to find out.
“I know I need to call my father, but not right now. I’ve disappointed him enough. Soon. I promise. Okay?”
“Let’s get you dressed and out of here. Here, put these pants on. They’ll not only look good but will be easy to get around in.” She tossed them to Tarin and then proceeded to show how easily you could move in pants.
Tarin grinned at her friend’s silly antics as she dressed. She gave her a quick hug before she thanked Kim, made sure she had all her contact information and headed out the door. The thought of leaving Chance after a long day away from him almost had her turning around. Taking a deep breath, she strengthened her resolve and climbed in Bobbie’s eight-year-old Camry she insisted she use. She hadn’t bothered to tell her that it had been almost two years since she’d driven, other than the stint to the airport the month before. Stephen had insisted on having a driver at her beck and call. The new job was thankfully giving her the excuse to drive regularly and she was loving it.
Tonight though was one of those times she wasn’t looking forward to; at least not to what she was doing.
Things had been so crazy at work, though Graham had really come around, as much as he could with allowing her to play in his computer world. Guy was often trying to be the mediator but between the wedding and following leads he wasn’t present all that often.
Twenty-five minutes later, she parked down the street from the office. Knowing that her bosses liked to put in long hours, she watched the darkened windows for several minutes before she was sure no one was there. The fact that the lights were off wouldn’t have even fazed Graham. She’d been watching for any sign—flickers of light—just in case he was on his computer.
Finally having determined it was safe, she made her way to the outer door. She couldn’t resist looking over her shoulder but that made her feel all the more slimy, as though she was stealing the family jewels. Using the key she’d been given at the start of this week, she let herself in, shutting off the alarm. Once in the office, she quickly booted her computer. She glanced a few times at the closed and locked inner door. That was a room she wasn’t really allowed in, even during business hours.
She quickly hacked into Stephen’s email account for clues on what he was up to. There were several; some were from his girlfriend with pictures that weren’t fit for anyone’s eyes however they were great for Tarin for future negotiations. His girlfriend said she was emailing them to him because his work cell kept blocking her. Tarin copied and pasted the photos into her own file. Skimming through a few more messages, she finally found what she was looking for—Kevin Johnson, Private Investigator. His name and address were included in the message.
Sitting back, she considered her options. Since they had only found the car so far, she decided to have all of Stephen’s emails forwarded to herself so she could stay in the loop. It didn’t help her with text messages but hopefully the PI, Johnson, would send reports. She decided not to leave that to chance. Posing as Stephen, she sent Johnson an email asking him to email a report of anything he found but not to bother to respond to the message she’d just sent. It was a bit risky but she needed to take the chance. She erased all of her footprints and logged out.
Sighing, she wasn’t sure how to handle this latest bit of news, the P. I. that was to find her. Since she was there, she decided to quickly check out her site. She hadn’t had much time to check or post anything. Forty more women had sent a request to join and several had shared their stories in their application. After reading through them all, she allowed fifteen of the women into the inner circle where the real stories were shared. Or at least, she hoped they would be. So far she’d been the only one to post any of her history publicly, which she’d kept rather sketchy. She did share a lot about being in a controlling, overpowering relationship, though.
This group was something she took very seriously and she did what she could to ens
ure it was safe and secure for women to share and learn. The women who were allowed to join had been traumatized in some way, many for a very long time.
Who they were and what they were sharing seemed to hold true. All the women had awful stories of what they’d been through but there were two emails that really grabbed her attention.
I ended up pregnant but I don’t think Don is the father. I’ve never told him but... I went away for the weekend to that convention in Vancouver and I don’t remember a damn thing.
Tarin sat up straight. An eerie, cold feeling crept up her back. Vancouver was where she’d lost that week of her life. She read the other message.
‘I sat down beside him at the bar, he ordered me a drink and that’s all I remember. I woke up sometime later. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shared this much.’
Tarin wished the woman had left more information. She immediately responded to both women.
‘Thank you for telling me a bit about what you went through. I’m so sorry it happened to you. I would love to hear more about your story. When did this happen? Where exactly? Do you know the name of the hotel?’
She hit send before she could talk herself out of it. But of course as soon as she sent it, she realized she might have scared both women off.
She closed her eyes trying to shrug off the tired feeling and wished she had more time to interact with the members. The time on the computer said 2:00 a.m. She quickly posted information on some services she’d found to help women leave abusive situations, along with articles on empowering oneself. Then she logged out.
She needed to find out more about Caspian Winery. She’d glanced at their website before, which had given cursory information about its founding, ups and downs in winemaking and a bit about the current owner and the managers.
Dorothea Lindell - owner and CEO
Cara Wilson - Financial Administrator
Martin Dey - twenty-two years as the Chief Winemaker
Oliver Gibner - fifteen years as Shipping and Receiving Manager