by J. L. Wilder
“I thought...” she hesitated. “I thought you would be the same.”
“Because I’m an alpha too.” He closed his eyes.
“Yes,” she said. “You were so controlling on my first day of class. So quick to order me around. I was sure you would punish me if I continued to disobey.”
“And yet you did continue to disobey,” he said. “You weren’t afraid of me.”
“Bart’s been hitting me all my life,” she said. “Why would I start being afraid now?”
Professor Larson reached out, hesitantly, and rested a hand on her cheek.
“I would never hurt you,” he said. “I would never do anything to cause you harm.”
She closed her eyes and nodded, leaning into the warmth of his hand.
Outside, the thunder crashed.
Something seemed to pass between the two of them. Some kind of understanding. Cait slid down off the couch to sit on the floor beside Professor Larson, her hip up against his. His arm settled around her shoulder.
She looked up at him.
The moment seemed to stretch. She knew what was about to happen, and yet she couldn’t quite believe it.
Then he closed his eyes and lowered his lips to hers.
Cait thought it might be a gentle kiss, a kiss of comfort after the story she had told him. A balm. But it wasn’t.
It was desperate, filled with sudden passion.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him, falling back to lie on the floor. Cait came with him willingly, straddling his hips, her hands untucking his shirt and sliding up across the planes of his chest.
She felt him lift away her shirt. He pulled it up over her head, turning it inside out as he went, and tossed it into the corner. His fingers were so thick, and yet he had no trouble with the clasp of her bra, twisting it open as easily as if he were merely snapping his fingers. She shrugged free of it, and his hands went to her breasts.
“You’re beautiful,” he moaned. “You deserve to be worshipped, Cait, not bullied. Let me show you. Let me.”
She was too overwhelmed to find words. All she could do was nod.
He rolled them over so that she was on her back. Eyeing her hungrily, he peeled away her pants so that she lay naked before him.
She wished he were naked too. He was still almost fully clothed. She wanted to see him. She wanted to touch every inch of his skin.
He hooked his arms beneath her knees, lowering himself between her legs, and looked up at her for just a moment. That moment was so full of lust that Cait thought she might burst into tears. She had never experienced anything this powerful before. She couldn’t take it.
Then he lowered his mouth to hers.
She arched her back, lifting her hips to him, desperate in a way she had never been in her life, terrified that he might stop. If he stopped, she would die. She couldn’t believe she had lived so much of her life without this feeling.
Her hands grabbed at his shoulders, almost unwittingly. She struggled beneath him, trying to wrap her legs around him and pull him in closer, but he was stronger than she was. He held her still, and she could actually feel the movement of his lips against her as he smiled, amused by her efforts.
Her orgasm came without warning, crashing over her, and she screamed just as the next crash of thunder hit outside, drowning her out. Every muscle in her body seemed to lose control at once, trembling violently, and she sobbed her way through the aftershocks, thrashing on the floor, feeling helpless and wonderful.
When she returned to herself, he was sliding into her, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his forehead pressed to hers.
Cait had imagined this moment—her first time—a hundred times. In every imagining, it had always been filled with pain and fear. It had always been a nightmare.
But this was wonderful.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb as he buried his hard shaft deep within her, and Cait gasped for breath as she adjusted to the new sensation of fullness. The pain of it lasted for just a few seconds and then gave way to the single most satisfying thing she had ever felt. It was as if she had always had a hunger, a hunger she had never fully been aware of, and now it was being sated.
She clung to him as he moved within her, unable to do anything but hold on and lose herself in the power of what she was experiencing.
“Cait,” he moaned, his voice raw and broken with pleasure. “I’m going to come, Cait.”
She had the strength to move her lips to his, to kiss him, to taste him as he thrust into her a few more times. He moaned against her and shuddered, and Cait felt a second wave of pleasure crash through her. She clung to his body, burying her face in him, surrounding herself with his scent and his strength. He was the only thing that mattered. He was the only thing that was real. The rest of the world fell away.
And then it was over.
They lay there, side by side, holding each other as their breathing returned to normal.
“That was your first time,” he managed after several minutes had gone by.
“Yes,” she said.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I’m...” she didn’t know what to say. “I’m amazing.”
“You are amazing,” he agreed. “Cait.”
“Professor Larson.”
He chuckled. “I think you’d better call me Grant now.”
She felt a smile steal across her face. “Grant, then.”
He sat up slowly, pulling her with him, keeping his arm wrapped tightly around her. “You’re sure you’re all right?” he asked.
“I’ve never been better,” she said. “But...but I thought you didn’t want me. When we were back at camp...”
Grant sighed. “It’s complicated,” he said. “You knew, back at camp, that if you and I did anything together, it would mean trouble for me.”
“Yes,” she admitted. “So what changed your mind?”
“I think...” He shook his head. “I wasn’t expecting this. I promise. I’m as surprised as you must be. But Cait...I think I’ve imprinted on you.”
Chapter Nine
GRANT
“Imprinted?” She stared at him.
“I know how it sounds,” he said.
She burst out laughing. “You’re messing with me,” she said.
“I promise you, I’m not.” He thought of the way he had felt when he’d first touched her, the attraction that had passed between them. The powerful urge he had felt. “I’ve never been surer of anything.”
“But it’s just a myth,” she said. “Imprinting. It isn’t real. It’s one of those stories people tell little kids, like love at first sight and happily ever after.”
“No,” Grant said. “You’re wrong. A lot of people believe that, Cait, but the truth is that imprinting is real.”
“But...but it can’t be,” she said.
“Why can’t it be?” He felt very acutely that he was her professor at that moment. It was still his job to teach her about the ways of the shifter world. That aspect of their relationship hadn’t gone away.
“Because people would know about it if imprinting was a thing,” Cait said, reasonably. “It would be happening all over. People would be imprinting on their mates.”
She reached for her shirt and pulled it back on, but she hadn’t bothered to put on her bra, and Grant took a moment to appreciate the shape of her breasts under the thin layer of cotton before he answered her. “That’s not necessarily true,” he said. “Look at your situation. Your father wanted you to be mated to an alpha in your own pack, so he chose someone for you. If you hadn’t come to Omega U, you might never have even met another alpha. Who would have ever had the chance to imprint on you?”
“Okay,” she admitted. “But my situation isn’t typical. You said so yourself.”
“No, it’s not,” he agreed. “But most omegas who live within the shifter world do so under the tight control of a single alpha. Even if that alpha is benevolent, he’s still likely to guar
d his omega pretty jealously. No alpha wants to risk some other guy trying to claim his omega.”
“What about omegas who don’t live within the shifter world?” Cait asked.
“They’re generally on the run,” Grant said. “I’ve lost girls from my classes, girls who should have been under my control but who chose to take off and try to live a more human life. When that happens, they tend to lose themselves in big cities. They surround themselves with humans and keep any shifters at arm’s length. Girls like that usually don’t find themselves around alphas at all, so nobody imprints on them.”
“I don’t know,” Cait said. “It still doesn’t seem like a real thing to me. It sounds like something alphas say to omegas to control them.”
“I suppose it makes sense that you would think that,” Grant said. “All the alphas in your life have always tried to control you, so what else are you supposed to think?”
She hesitated.
He waited, knowing it would do no good to press her.
“I don’t think you’re trying to control me,” she admitted.
“I didn’t think you would.”
“It’s different with you,” she said. “Different from how it always was with my father, and especially different from how it was with Bart.”
“What’s different about it?” he asked.
“I can’t put my finger on it,” she admitted. “It’s not that you’re not as demanding as they were. You might even be more demanding.”
“I’m your teacher,” Grant pointed out. “I’m supposed to tell you what to do.”
“Sure, you’re my teacher,” she said. “But you’re not my alpha.”
Grant hesitated. “Are you sure about that?” he asked her.
She looked up at him. “What?”
“If I’m right,” he said. “If I really did imprint on you...then you’ll have a natural reaction. You must have felt it just now when we were intimate. You didn’t resist me at all. You embraced what was happening.”
“I wanted it,” she said. “I didn’t want to resist you.”
“But why did you want it?” he asked her. “You tried to seduce me earlier, but that wasn’t because you were dying for sex with me. It was because you wanted to make trouble for me. Right?”
She looked down.
“You can admit it,” he said. “I already know that’s what you were doing.”
“All right,” she confessed. “That’s what I was doing.”
“But it wasn’t like that just now, was it?” he asked her.
“No,” she said. “I wasn’t thinking about that anymore at all. I just...wanted you.”
“That’s because I imprinted on you,” he said.
She frowned. “So because you imprinted, I don’t have a choice?” she asked. “What I actually want doesn’t matter anymore?”
“What you want matters just as much as what I want matters,” he said. “But you said it yourself, Cait. What you wanted was me. And I wanted you.”
“You said that was only because of the imprint,” she countered.
“It’s a biological imperative,” he agreed. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t also desire it. When you’re hungry, don’t you want food?”
“Yes,” she said. “But I can choose what I eat.”
“And you can choose not to be with me,” he said. “I would never force you. But I think you’ll find that this is what you want.”
She hugged her knees to her chest.
“I know it’s what I want,” he said softly, reaching out a hand to touch her cheek.
Cait closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Grant kept his gaze on her face.
She’s so young. She’s so new to this world, to this life. She needs someone who can take care of her, someone who can protect her from all the terrible things out there. She needs someone who can keep her safe from the alphas of her pack, the men who always treated her badly and never taught her to value what she was and the role she had to play.
Grant wanted to be the guardian she needed.
He could protect her.
She had grown up to be a rebel, resentful of everyone who had ever tried to control her. But Grant knew he could show her the joy of being controlled by someone who had her best interests at heart.
“You’ll always be safe with me, Cait,” he said. “I’ll make sure you have what you need in life, and I’ll help you navigate the world. As long as you and I are together, you’ll never have anything to be afraid of.”
“What about Bart?” Cait asked. “He’s still out there. He still wants me. And he still has a claim to me, doesn’t he? My father said he could have me once school was finished.”
“That gives us a lot of time,” Grant said. “A lot of time to figure things out, and to decide what we’re going to do next.”
“But if he comes to claim me,” Cait said, “what are you going to do? What if he tries to take me away?”
Grant was in awe. She was so different from the callous and contentious girl he had argued with in his classroom. She was soft and vulnerable. He had penetrated her defenses so easily.
“I won’t let him take you,” he said. “If it comes to a fight...well, I’ve had to fight to protect the one I love before.”
“You have?” she asked, gazing up at him.
Grant sighed and pulled on his shirt. He got up and fetched his pants, then stepped into them. He took a seat on the couch.
Cait climbed up and sat beside him. “When did you have to fight?” she asked him.
He knew he had to tell her. He owed her complete honesty about his past. And yet, it was so hard to open up about what had happened. It was so hard to even allow his mind to revisit it.
Marisa.
“I’ve been in love before,” he told her. “You have a right to know that.”
“You have?” she asked.
“Once.”
“Was it...did you imprint on her?”
“No,” he said. “It wasn’t like that. We knew each other for years, and our relationship grew naturally. She was an omega. I was her alpha.”
“Was she also a student at the university?”
“No, this was before I came to work at the university,” he said. “I was a rogue shifter back then, not a member of any pack, and Marisa had run away from her own pack. She was working as a barista when I met her. We recognized each other for what we were, and we became friends, and then lovers.”
“What happened to her?” Cait asked.
“She got pregnant,” Grant said. “We were so excited when we found out. We were going to have our very own pack. We couldn’t wait to raise our family of pups.”
He glanced at Cait. He could see the worry etched across her face. She knew this story wasn’t going to end well.
“You know that the students at Omega University study midwifery,” he said. “That’s because shifters—and omegas in particular—can’t give birth in human hospitals. It would arouse too much suspicion. The size of the litters omegas tend to carry isn’t normal for humans, of course, and that would attract a lot of attention that we don’t need. And there’s always the chance—unlikely, but possible—that a newborn baby will shift into animal form.”
“So, we have to have home deliveries.” Cait nodded. “I know that.”
“Marisa and I didn’t have any help,” he said. “There was only her and me. And when she was delivering...something went wrong.”
Cait reached out and rested a hand on top of his.
He swallowed hard and forced himself to keep talking. “I lost her,” he said. “I lost Marisa, and we lost all five of our babies. It should have been the best day of my life, and instead, I lost everything I cared about in the world.”
“I’m so sorry,” Cait said softly.
“If I had been part of a pack,” he said, “I would have had people around me that day. People who could have helped.”
“It might not have changed anything,” Cait said.
“But maybe i
t would have,” Grant countered.
“You can’t torture yourself with thoughts like that,” Cait said. “You don’t know what would have happened if more people had been there. There’s no way to know.”
He nodded slowly, unable to look at her.
“When did this happen?” she asked him.
“Years ago,” he said. “A long time. It’s just a memory now.”
“Memories can have a lot of power,” Cait pointed out.
Grant nodded. “That’s why I decided to teach at Omega University,” he said. “I was offered a job at Shifter U. It paid more. But I thought of Marisa, and how her life might have been different if she had had someone to help her see why it was important to belong to a pack—to learn the role of the omega and to surround herself with people who cared about her and valued her for what she was. I wanted to do what I could to help other omegas since my mate was gone.”
“And now you’ve imprinted on me,” Cait said. “What does that mean? You were already mated to someone else...”
“Marisa is my past,” Grant said. “She’ll always be a part of who I am. I’ll always be affected by having loved her. But this—you—you’re my present, Cait. You’re my future. Everything I feel now is for you.”
“Are you sure?” Cait asked.
“I know you feel it too,” Grant said. “The connection between us. It’s powerful. It’s visceral. You feel it, don’t you? It’s like we’re being pulled together.”
“I don’t think I could ignore you now even if I wanted to,” Cait admitted. “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to go back to class and act normal around you in front of the rest of the students.”
“But you have to,” Grant said, feeling a faint prick of alarm. “You know that, don’t you? We can’t allow anybody else to know what happened between us here.”
“I’m not going to try to get you in trouble with the administration,” Cait said. “You know that, right? It was a bitchy thing to try in the first place, but I’d never do that to you now. Not after...after everything.”