by J. L. Wilder
“That was amazing,” he agreed. “But then, it always is.”
She grinned up at him. “Are you saying it’s become routine?”
He kissed her forehead. “There’s nothing routine about this,” he said. “The fact that I’m lucky enough to have you will never stop surprising me, Cait, I promise you.”
“I don’t know how we’re going to have time for this kind of thing once the babies come,” she said. “How are we ever going to be alone?”
“We’ll have to find a way,” he said. “I’m excited about having our babies, don’t get me wrong. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to quit fucking you. Nothing could get in the way of that.”
She grinned. “We’ll have to hide out in the woods and do it when no one’s watching, maybe.”
“Good thing we have experience at sneaking around,” Grant said.
“That’s true,” Cait said and laughed. “I guess I did get something out of my education.”
“I’d say you got a few things out of it,” Grant said. “You did bag an alpha professor, after all. How many girls can say that?”
“Do you ever miss it?” she asked him.
“Miss what? The school?”
“Teaching. I know it meant a lot to you, helping to guide omegas the way you did. Do you ever wish you could have had me and still kept your job?”
He hesitated before speaking.
“You know I was married once before,” he said finally. “And you know my wife died in childbirth. I lost her, and I lost all our children. My entire pack. That was before I ever started teaching.”
She nodded, reaching out to stroke his face. He so rarely spoke of his old life. She knew it pained him.
“All I ever wanted was to be the alpha of a pack,” he said. “I wanted an omega to care for. I wanted children to raise. I became a teacher because I believed that life was gone. At Omega University, my students were my pack. I could teach them all I knew about shifter life. But it was never anything more than a poor substitute for what I really wanted.”
“A family,” she said.
“That’s right.” His hand went to her stomach. “So the answer to your question is no. I don’t regret having lost my job. I’m happy to be here with you, and I can’t think of anything else that would make me happier. What we have here—this is perfect. This is exactly what I want.”
She reached up to kiss him, and for several long and luxurious minutes, she lost herself completely in the taste of his lips, the feeling of his big hands on her back, the sound he made when she arched her back and pressed the fullness of her body against his.
“Cait,” he said hoarsely. “You drive me wild. Do you know what you do to me?”
She pressed her forehead against his. They were both breathing too hard now, and she could feel the heat rising up within her again. “I think I have some idea,” she said.
“I could fuck you all night long,” he said. “All night long, and I’d still never get enough. I’m never going to get enough of you.”
“Do it,” she said. “I don’t have anywhere to be.”
He grinned and kissed her forehead, and then he was rolling her away from him, scooting up behind her and sliding into her once more, and Cait thought she might die from the pleasure of it.
Chapter Nineteen
GRANT
Grant ducked into the tent, clutching the water bottles he had filled at the river. He had run the whole way. Leaving her was excruciating.
She looked up as he entered. She was lying on her side, eyes closed, breathing slow, at least for the moment, although he knew she would go back to panting when her next contraction hit. “You’re back already?”
“Didn’t want to leave you alone.” He scooted up to sit behind her and pulled her head into his lap.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” she told him. “I’m doing fine. Everything’s going to be fine.”
Grant knew she was probably right, and yet he couldn’t help but worry. His anxiety had only grown throughout the last month of Cait’s pregnancy, as she’d gradually become too big to move around on her own. Two weeks ago, he had ordered her not to even try anymore, to stay in the tent at all times. He would bring her whatever she needed. There was no reason to risk her health or that of the babies.
She hadn’t liked the order. Grant knew her well enough to know that she hated being told to stay still.
But she hadn’t questioned, and she hadn’t protested. She had obeyed.
He was proud of her. Proud of the omega she had become. She had learned more living in the wild with him like this than she ever could have learned in a classroom.
I hope the rest of the students find mates, he thought. I hope every omega that comes through Omega University gets an ending like this.
Cait had gone into labor before the sun was up. Grant had been looking forward to this moment and dreading it in equal measure. He wanted to meet his children, of course, to see how many there were, how big his pack would be. But childbirth had stolen Marisa from him. If the same thing were to happen with Cait, he thought he would lose his mind.
There’s no reason to be afraid. She’s young and strong and healthy. She was made for this.
But Marisa had been young and strong too. Sometimes things went wrong.
Cait’s body tensed with another contraction, and Grant felt his own muscles tense up as if connected to her. As if he could feel everything that she felt. He forced himself to breathe, knowing that the best thing he could do to keep her calm was to stay calm himself.
He rubbed her back gently. “You’re doing great,” he said. “This will be over before you know it.”
She laughed through gritted teeth. “Over before I know it?”
“Well,” he amended. “It’ll be over in a few hours. And then we’ll have our babies.”
She nodded, relaxing as the pain passed. “I’m all right,” she told him. “I can do this. You don’t need to worry.”
“I’m not worried,” he lied.
She took his hand and intertwined their fingers. She knew he was lying, of course. She was no fool. But apparently, she had decided to let him get away with it because the only thing she said was, “Okay.”
He twisted the cap off a bottle of water. “You should drink something,” he said.
“I thought I wasn’t allowed to drink during labor.”
“You can drink water,” he said. “I looked it up. You know I wouldn’t give you anything that wasn’t safe for you and the babies.”
She nodded. She knew.
He held the water to her lips, and she took a few careful sips and nodded when she was finished. He screwed the cap back on and set it to one side.
“Hang on,” she said. “What do you mean you looked it up? Where did you look it up? We live in the woods.”
“I went to the library,” he explained.
“When did you go to the—ow!”
He pressed his lips to her shoulder and waited as she rode through another wave of pain. “You’re okay,” he said softly, reassuring himself as much as Cait. “You’re all right. Hang on. Almost done.”
A moment later, she was panting, limp in his arms. He grabbed a t-shirt from his bag and used it to wipe the sweat from her face. “You okay?” he asked.
“Don’t change the subject,” Cait said. “When did you go to the library?”
“I’ve been a few times,” he admitted.
“You said we couldn’t go into town,” Cait protested.
“No,” Grant said. “I said you couldn’t go into town. If there’s still a search on for anyone, it’ll be you. Personally, I think your old pack has probably given up on the idea of getting you back at this point. But I’m not going to take chances.”
“They could be looking for you too,” Cait protested. “I’m sure Bart would like revenge against you.”
“Bart isn’t going to come looking for me in Moose Jaw,” Grant said.
Cait shook her head. “You can’t have i
t both ways,” she said. “Either it’s too dangerous for me to go into town, or it’s so safe that Bart will never find you.”
“Are you questioning me?” He wasn’t angry, just surprised. It had been so long since Cait had doubted him in anything.
“I’ll obey your orders,” she said. “You know I will. I’m yours, Grant. You told me not to go to town, and I’m not going to go. You don’t have to worry about any disobedience.”
“But you are questioning me.”
“I just think there’s a flaw in your logic,” she said. “If it’s safe enough for you to go, then it’s safe enough for me.”
He stroked the smooth planes of her skin. “Do you want to go into town?” he asked her.
“I wouldn’t mind it,” she said. “I like the life we have out here. You know I do. But if I could get clothes that actually fit, if I could pick up a book to read while I’m down by the river fishing...”
“Human things.” It was an observation, not a criticism.
Cait nodded. “I’m wolf, but I’m human too,” she said. “I haven’t forgotten that side of myself, and I don’t think I ever will. It’s part of who I am.”
“I can understand that,” Grant said, and he could. After all, hadn’t his instinct been to go to the library to learn as much as he could about pregnancy, labor, and delivery. That was a human impulse if ever there was one. Wild wolves didn’t try to research their problems. They trusted their intuition to get them through things.
“Would you ever consider changing your mind?” Cait asked. “Letting me go?”
“Not by yourself,” Grant said. “At least, not for a while.”
“But if you came with me—”
“That’s something we could discuss,” he agreed. “Although it might have to wait until the babies are a little older. In the meantime, though, I can always pick things up for you and bring them back.”
She smiled. “That’s a start
SHE DELIVERED ABOUT four hours later. Grant was surprised and gratified to find that once the delivery began, he simply didn’t have time to be afraid. There was too much work to do. His nerves quieted, and his alpha instincts kicked into gear.
The babies came easily, with none of the trauma and terror that had accompanied Marisa’s delivery. A boy first, then a girl, then two more boys, and finally one more girl. Five in all. Five children.
My pack.
He cleaned them carefully and laid them on a blanket, then swaddled them one by one in his t-shirts. Cait looked over, watching as he did so. “Are they all right?” she said, her voice faint with exhaustion.
He scooped up the firstborn, the boy, and handed him to his mother. “They’re perfect,” he said.
She struggled to sit up.
“Don’t,” he said. He lifted her upright a little and arranged her pillows behind her, propping her up. “There. Is that better.”
“Perfect,” she agreed, beaming up at him. She was glowing, radiant. She looked down at her son, his little fists waving in the air. “He’s not even crying,” she marveled.
“None of them are,” he said. “That’s the wolf in them. But he’s probably hungry.”
Her eyes widened. “They all need to eat,” she realized. “I can’t feed them all at once.”
“It’s all right,” he assured her. “We’ll go one at a time. They’ll all be fed. Nothing to worry about.”
He helped her to arrange the baby at her breast, then picked up the next in line, the oldest girl, and prepared her for her turn. When her brother had had enough, Grant took him back from Cait and handed the girl to her.
“It’s a good thing they don’t all look alike,” Cait said. “We’re going to be able to tell them apart, at least.”
Grant nodded. Already he had begun to identify the distinguishing features of his children. The oldest boy had a full head of thick dark hair, for example, where the younger two had only wispy brown strands. The last-born girl was smaller than any of her siblings and would be easily distinguished.
“They need names,” he said, passing another baby into Cait’s arms.
She laughed lightly. “Can you believe I’ve been pregnant for nine months and we never even talked about names?”
“Well, we did have a few other things on our minds,” Grant pointed out.
“That’s true,” Cait said.
“Besides,” Grant added, “we didn’t know until today how many there would be. It’s hard to plan for that.”
“I want to call the oldest one Grant Jr.,” Cait said.
“You do?” He was touched. He had never expected to have a son named for him. He reached out and touched the boy’s waving fist, and Grant Jr. grabbed his finger and held on.
“Do you like it?” Cait asked.
“I love it,” he said. He handed her the fourth baby and took the third one back. “Maybe we should call this one James,” he suggested. “After my friend who allowed us to escape from the university.”
“I like James,” Cait agreed.
“What about the others?” he asked. “Do you have any ideas?”
“William for the other boy,” she said instantly.
“You’ve been thinking about that.”
“No,” she admitted. “It just came to me, and it feels right.”
“Okay. Grant Jr., James, and William. What about the girls?” He picked up the littlest baby, the last born, and shook her little fist. “Do you have any ideas for them?”
“Chloe?”
“I like that,” he said. “And what about Mia, for the little one?” He held her up so that Cait could look at her.”
“That’s pretty,” Cait said, smiling. “Mia.”
He handed Mia to her, taking William back. “That was easy,” he said.
“Did you expect an argument?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I didn’t anticipate that we would like every suggestion each other made so quickly.”
“It’s easy for us,” Cait said. “We want the same things. We’re lucky that way.”
She was right. He held William against his chest. The baby snuggled into him and let out a soft sigh, and Grant couldn’t keep the smile from his face.
When they had all been fed, Cait’s eyelids began to droop. “You should sleep,” Grant told her. “You’ve been awake for an awfully long time.”
“But I want to help with the babies,” she protested.
“You can’t even keep your eyes open, Cait,” he said, laughing gently. “Go to sleep. They’ll still be here when you wake up.”
“What about you?”
“I’m not tired right now.” He rested a hand on her forehead. “Go to sleep, honey. It’s an order.”
She smiled lightly and murmured something that might have been thanks. She knew, and Grant knew, that an order given in a situation like this was a gift. It was permission for her to take care of herself, to tend to her own needs, without feeling that she was abdicating her responsibility to her children.
He sat still until it was clear that she had dropped off. Then he arranged the babies on his sleeping roll. Careful not to jostle or disturb them, he dragged the roll slowly through the tent flap and out into the open air.
The babies stirred, listening to the sounds of forest birds, feeling the wind on their faces for the first time. He could tell they were interested. The wolf identities within them that had yet to rise to the surface were stirred, stimulated by the experience of nature all around them.
“This is where we live,” he told them. “This is your home. These are our woods. When you get a little older, I’ll teach you how to fend for yourselves here. I’ll teach you how to hunt and fish and build fires, the same way I taught your mother. The same way I taught dozens of students at Omega University before I left.”
They blinked up at him. His words meant nothing to them, of course, but perhaps they recognized his voice. He had learned in his reading that that was possible, that babies could hear voices inside the womb and that
they recognized and were comforted by the familiar sounds of their parents after they were born.
He touched each child on the head and spoke his or her name.
“Grant,” he said. “My firstborn. You’ll be an alpha, like me, no doubt. It’ll be your job to lead your brothers and sisters, and I’ll teach you how to do it with compassion.
“Chloe. You’ll set the example for the rest of the pack by showing them how to follow their alpha. Grant will depend on you for loyalty and strength. You’ll be his second in command, his primary beta.
“James. You’re named for a kind and generous man, a man who always put the wellbeing of others before his own interests. None of us would be here if it weren’t for him. I’m counting on you to carry on that legacy and to be an example of kindness for everyone you meet.
“William, as the youngest boy, you might be tempted to go your own way. It’ll be the most difficult for you to stay loyal to the pack. You have a challenge ahead, but you’re my son, so I know you can do it.
“And Mia.” He lifted her into his arms. “I’d bet my life you’ll be an omega, just like your mother. Never turn away from who you are and what you’re meant to be. You can have a beautiful life if you embrace it. Look to your mother for an example. She’ll show you how wonderful the omega life can be.” He kissed her forehead gently. “And know that your brothers and I will never allow an alpha who’s unworthy of you to get anywhere near you.”
He set her back down and looked down at his pack as the sun began to set, marveling at his good fortune. What a remarkable life I’ve found.
Chapter Twenty
CAIT
The months turned into years, and Cait’s family grew and flourished.
By the time they were two years old, Grant Jr. had firmly established himself as the leader of the pack. The others rallied around him, following his orders when they played. Cait watched carefully for signs of the cruelty she had experienced at Bart’s hands, but she saw no hint of it. He was his father’s son, through and through.
Mia, meanwhile, had proven herself to be the most emotional of the bunch, quick to tears when any of her siblings got upset, more in need of hugs from her parents than any of them.