[10] τὸ δὲ πάντων γελοιότατον: ἐνίοτε ἀποροῦσι διακόνων μᾶλλον τῶν πενήτων τε καὶ οὐκ ἐχόντων οὐδένα οἰκέτην. καὶ ἔστι τὸ πρᾶγμα ὅμοιον τοῖς ἰούλοις: οἶμαι γάρ σε εἰδέναι: καὶ γὰρ ἐκεῖνοι μυρίους πόδας ἔχοντες βραδύτατοί εἰσι τῶν ἑρπετῶν. οὐκ οἶσθα ὅτι τὸ σῶμα ἡ φύσις ἑκάστῳ ἐποίησεν [p. 110] ἱκανὸν εἶναι πρὸς τὴν ἑαυτοῦ θεραπείαν; πόδας μέν, ὥστε ἀπιέναι, χεῖρας δέ, ὥστε ἐργάζεσθαι καὶ τοῦ ἄλλου σώματος ἐπιμελεῖσθαι,
[10] And the most absurd thing of all is that they are often worse off for help than are the poor who keep no servants. Their situation reminds one of the centipede — I think you know it — which has innumerable feet and yet it is the slowest of creeping things. Do you not know that nature has made each man’s body to be sufficient to serve him? — feet so as to move about, hands to work with and to care for the rest of the body, eyes to see, and ears to hear.
[11] ὀφθαλμοὺς δέ, ὥστε ὁρᾶν, ὦτα δέ, ὥστε ἀκούειν. πρὸς δὲ τούτοις σύμμετρον ἐποίησε τὴν γαστέρα, καὶ οὐ δεῖται πλείονος τροφῆς ὁ ἄνθρωπος ἢ δυνατός ἐστιν αὑτῷ πορίζειν, ἀλλὰ τοῦτο μέτρονἑκάστῳ ἱκανώτατον καὶ ἄριστον καὶ ὑγιέστατον. ὥσπερ οὖν ἡ χεὶρ ἀσθενεστέρα ἐστὶν ἡ πλείονας δακτύλους ἔχουσα τῶν φύσει γιγνομένων, καὶ ὁ τοιοῦτος ἄνθρωπος ἀνάπηρος καλεῖται τρόπον τινὰ ᾧ ἂν ἔξωθεν προσφυῇ δάκτυλος περιττός, καὶ μηδὲ τοῖς ἄλλοις χρῆσθαι δύναται κατὰ τρόπον, οὕτως ὅταν πολλοὶ πόδες καὶ πολλαὶχεῖρες καὶ πολλαὶ γαστέρες ἀνθρώπῳ τινὶ προσγένωνται, μὰ Δί᾽ οὐκ ἰσχυρότερος οὗτος γίγνεται πρὸς οὐδὲν οὐδὲ μᾶλλον τυγχάνει ὧν δεῖ τυγχάνειν αὐτόν, ἀλλὰ πολὺ ἔλαττον καὶ δυσχερέστερον.
[11] Besides, she has made his stomach of a size in keeping, so that man does not require more nourishment than he is able to provide for himself, but this amount represents what is quite adequate for each man and best and most wholesome. Just as a hand is all the weaker for having more fingers than belong there naturally, and such a man is called a sort of cripple when he has an extra finger on the outside and cannot use the other fingers properly; so when a man gets equipped with many additional feet, hands, and stomachs, by heavens, he becomes not a whit more efficient for any task whatever, nor does he obtain what he must obtain any better, but rather, much less well and with greater difficulty.
[12] σὺ δέ, ἔφη, νῦν μὲν ἑνὶ ἀνθρώπῳ ζητεῖς τροφήν, τότε δὲ δυσί: καὶ νῦν μὲν σαυτὸν νοσηλεύσεις, ἐὰν ἄρα συμβῇ τις ἀσθένεια, τότε δὲ ἀνάγκη θεραπεύειν κἀκεῖνον νοσοῦντα: καὶ νῦν μὲν ὅταν αὐτὸς ᾖς ἐν τῇ οἰκίᾳ, οὐ φροντίζεις μή τι αὐτὸς ὑφέλῃ, οὐδὲ ὅταν καθεύδῃς, μὴ ἐγρηγορὼς ὁ παῖς κακόν τι ἐργάσηται. πάντα δὴ ταῦτα δεῖ σε σκοπεῖν. γυναῖκα τοίνυν εἰ ἔχεις, τότε μὲν οὐκ ἂν ἠξίου σε θεραπεύειν, ὁρῶσα οἰκέτην ἔνδον τρεφόμενον, καὶ τὰ μὲν ἐκείνῳμαχομένη, τὰ δὲ αὐτὴ τρυφῶσα, ἐνοχλεῖν σε ἔμελλεν: νῦν δὲ ἧττον μὲν αὐτὴ ἀργήσει, μᾶλλον δὲ σοῦ ἐπιμελήσεται.
[12] “You now provide food for one person,” he continued, “but then it was for two; and now, if any illness attacks you, you will have only yourself to treat, but then you had to take care of him, too, when he was ill. Now, when you are in the house all by yourself, you do not worry for fear that you may steal something yourself, nor, when you retire, lest your slave be awake and doing some mischief. All these things you should surely think about. And further, if you have a wife, she would then not have considered it her duty to look after you when she saw a domestic kept in the family, and she would have been likely to annoy you, sometimes by quarrelling with him, at other times by being hard to suit herself; but now she will be less discontented herself and will take better care of you.
[13] καὶ μὴν ὅπου οἰκέτης ἐστίν, εὐθὺς διαφθείρονται οἱ γιγνόμενοι παῖδες καὶ ἀργότεροί τε γίγνονται καὶ ὑπερηφανώτεροι, ὄντος μὲν τοῦ διακονοῦντος, ἔχοντες δὲ οὗ καταφρονοῦσιν: ὅπου δ᾽ ἂν αὐτοὶ μὴ ὦσι, πολὺἀνδρειότεροι καὶ ἰσχυρότεροι καὶ τῶν πατέρων εὐθὺς ἐξ ἀρχῆς κήδεσθαι μανθάνοντες. ἀλλ᾽, ὦ Διόγενες, πένης τέ εἰμι καὶ εἰ μὴ συμφέροι κεκτῆσθαι τὸν οἰκέτην, ἀποδώσομαι αὐτόν. ἔπειτα, ἔφη, οὐκ αἰσχύνῃ, πρῶτον [p. 111] μὲν ἐξαπατῶν τὸν ἄνθρωπον, πονηρὸν αὐτῷ ἀποδιδόμενος; ἢ γὰρ οὐκ ἐρεῖς τἀληθὲς ἢ οὐ δυνήσῃ ἀποδόσθαι αὐτόν.
[13] Then too, wherever there is a servant, the children as they come on are at once spoiled and become lazier and more overbearing as long as there is someone to dance attendance upon them, and as they have somebody whom they look down upon. On the other hand, wherever the children are by themselves, they are much more manly and vigorous and learn to care for their parents from the very start.”
“But, Diogenes, I am a poor man, and if it should not be to my advantage to keep the servant, I shall dispose of him.” “In that case,” he rejoined, “are you not ashamed, in the first place, to deceive the purchaser by selling him a bad slave? For either you will conceal the truth or be unable to sell him.
[14] πρὸς δὲ τούτοις, ἐάν τις ἱμάτιον ἀποδῶται κίβδηλον ἢ σκεῦος ἢ κτῆνος νοσοῦν τε καὶ ἄχρηστον, ἀνάγκη αὐτὸ ἀπολαμβάνειν, ὥστε οὐδὲν ἔσται σοι πλέον. εἰ δὲ καὶ δυνήσῃ ἐξαπατῆσαί τινα κἀκεῖνος οὐκ αἰσθήσεται τοῦ ἀνθρώπου τῆς πονηρίας, τὸ ἀργύριον οὐ δέδοικας; ἴσως μὲν γὰρ ἄλλον ὠνήσῃ φαυλότερον, ἐὰν δριμυτέρου τύχῃς ἢ κατὰ σὲ τοῦ ἀποδιδομένου: τυχὸν δὲ εἰς ἄλλο τι χρήσῃ λαβὼν ἀφ᾽ οὗ βλαβήσῃ. οὐ γὰρ δὴ ἀεί ποτε τὸ ἀργύριον ὠφελεῖ τοὺς κτησαμένους, ἀλλὰ πολλῷ πλείονας βλάβας καὶ πλείω κακὰ πεπόνθασιν ἄνθρωποι ὑπὸ ἀργυρίου ἢ ὑπὸ πενίας, ἄλλως τε καὶ ἀνόητοι ὄντες.
[14] Further, if a man sells a cloak or a utensil that is not what it purports to be, or an animal that is diseased and useless, he must take it back; so, by selling you will be none the better off. And even if you shall be able to deceive somebody and he shall not be aware of the slave’s depravity, are you not afraid of the money? For perhaps you will buy another still worse slave if you chance upon a seller who is too shrewd for you. Or perhaps you will use the money received for something that will harm you. For by no means in every case does money help those who have gotten it; but men have suffered many more injuries and many more evils from money than from poverty, particularly when they lacked sense.
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[15] οὐκ ἐκεῖνο πρότερον κτήσασθαι σπουδάσεις ᾧ δυνήσῃ ὑπὸ παντὸς ὠφελεῖσθαι καὶ πᾶσι τοῖς αὑτοῦ πράγμασι χρῆσθαι καλῶς, ἀλλὰ πρὸ τοῦ φρονῆσαι ζητήσεις ἀργύριον ἢ γῆν ἢ ἀνδράποδα ἢ ζεῦγος ἢ πλοῖον ἢ οἰκίαν; οἷς σὺ δουλεύσεις καὶ λυπήσῃ δι᾽ αὐτὰ καὶ πολλὰ πονήσεις μάτην καὶ διατελέσεις ἅπαντα τὸν βίον φροντίζων ἐκείνων,
[15] Are you going to try to secure first, not that other thing, which will enable you to derive profit from everything and to order all your affairs well, but in preference to wisdom are you going to seek riches or lands or teams of horses or ships or houses? You will become their slave and will suffer through them and perform a great deal of useless labour, and will spend all your life worrying over them without getting any benefit whatsoever from them.
[16] ὀνήσῃ δὲ οὐδ᾽ ὁτιοῦν ἀπ᾽ αὐτῶν. οὐχ ὁρᾷς τὰ θηρία ταῦτα καὶ τὰ ὄρνεα, ὅσῳ ζῇ τῶν ἀνθρώπων ἀλυπότερον, πρὸς δὲ καὶ ἥδιον, καὶ μᾶλλον ὑγιαίνει καὶ πλέον ἰσχύει καὶ ζῇ χρόνον ἕκαστον αὐτῶν ὅσον πλεῖστον δύναται, καίτοι οὔτε χεῖρας ἔχοντα οὔτε ἀνθρώπου διάνοιαν; ἀλλ᾽ ὅμως ἀντὶ πάντων αὐτοῖς τῶν ἄλλων κακῶν ὑπάρχει μέγιστον ἀγαθόν, ὅτι ἀκτήμονά ἐστιν. ἀλλὰ δοκῶ μοι ἐάσειν, ὦ Διόγενες, τὸν οἰκέτην, ἐάνπερ μὴ ἀπὸ τύχης ἐμπέσῃ μοι. ναὶ μὰ Δία, εἶπεν ὁ Διογένης, ὥσπερ εἰ λέγοις ὅτι δάκνοντα ἢ λακτίζοντα ἵππον οὐκ ἂν ζητήσαιμι: ἐὰν μέντοι περιτύχω, προσέλθοιμ᾽ ἄν, ὥστε δηχθῆναι ἢ λακτισθῆναι.
[16] Consider the beasts yonder and the birds, how much freer from trouble they live than men, and how much more happily also, his much healthier and stronger they are, and how each of them lives the longest life possible, although they have neither hands nor human intelligence. And yet, to counter-balance these and their other limitations, they have one very great blessing — they own no property.”
“Well, Diogenes, I believe I shall let my servant go, that is, unless he happens to come my way.” “Well, I declare,” exclaimed Diogenes, “that would be like your saying that you would not look for a horse that bites or kicks, but that if you came across him, you would go up to him for the fun of being bitten or kicked!”
[17] ταῦτα μὲν ἔασον: ἀλλὰ τῷ θεῷ διὰ τί με χρῆσθαι οὐκ ἐᾷς; ἐγὼ γὰρ ἀπαγορεύω σοι θεῷ χρῆσθαι, εἰ δύνασαι; οὐ τοῦτο ἔφην, ἀλλ᾽ ὅτι χαλεπόν ἐστι, μᾶλλον δὲ ἀδύνατον, χρῆσθαι ἢ θεῷ ἢ ἀνθρώπῳ ἢ αὐτὸν αὑτῷ μὴ ἐπιστάμενον: τὸ δὲ ἐπιχειρεῖν ἄνευ [p. 112] τοῦ ἐπίστασθαι πάντων βλαβερώτατον: ἢ ὅστις οἰκ ἔστιν ἔμπειρος ἵππων χρήσεως, δοκεῖ σοι οὗτος χρῆσθαι ἂν ἵπποις; οὐκ ἔμοιγε. εἰ δ᾽ αὖ βιάζοιτο, κακὸν ἄν τι ἀπολαῦσαι πρότερον ἢ ἀγαθόν; ἀληθῆ.
[17] “Enough of that! But why do you object to my making use of the god?” “What! I object to your making use of the god if you can! That is not what I was saying, but that it is difficult, nay rather impossible, to make use of god or man or one’s own self if one does not know how. To make the attempt without knowing how is an extremely harmful thing. Or do you think that the man who is untrained in the use of horses could make use of them?” “I do not.” “And that, if, on the other hand, he should use force, he would get some harm from it rather than good?” “True.”
[18] τί δέ; ὅστις ἀγνοεῖ χρῆσιν κυνῶν, δυνατὸς ἂν εἴη χρῆσθαι; ἢ οὐ τό τινι χρῆσθαι ὠφελεῖσθαί ἐστιν ἀπ᾽ ἐκείνου;δοκεῖ μοι. οὐδεὶς ἄρα τῶν βλαπτομένων ἀπό τινος χρῆται ἐκείνῳ ὑφ᾽ οὗ βλάπτεται; οὐ γάρ. οὔκουν καὶ ὁ κυσὶ πειρώμενος χρῆσθαι ἄνευ τοῦ ἐπίστασθαι ζημιώσεται ἀπ᾽ αὐτῶν; εἰκός γε. οὐκ ἄρα οὐδὲ χρήσεται αὐτοῖς, ἐπεὶ οὐκ ἔστι χρῆσις ὅπου ζημία πρόσεστι. καὶ οὐ μόνον περὶ κυνῶν καὶ ἵππων ἔχει οὕτως, ἀλλὰ καὶ βοῶν καὶ ὀρέων, καὶὅ μᾶλλον θαυμάσαις ἄν, οὐδὲ ὄνῳ ἢ προβάτῳ χρῆσθαι πάρεστι τοῖς
[18] “Now then, will the man ignorant of the use of dogs be able to use them? Or does not the using of anything imply deriving benefit from it?” “I think so.” “No one, therefore, of those injured by a thing really uses the thing by which he is injured, does he?” “Certainly not.” “If, therefore, a man attempts to use dogs without knowing how, will he not receive damage from them?” “Very likely.” “He, therefore, will not be using them either, since use does not properly exist where damage results. And this is true not only in the case of dogs and horses but of oxen and mules also, and — what might surprise you more — not even the using of an ass or a sheep is a matter for inexperienced persons.
[19] ἀπείροις. ἢ οὐκ οἶσθα τοὺς μέν τινας ὠφελημένους, τοὺς δὲ καὶ βεβλαμμένους ἀπό τε προβατείας καὶ ὀνηλασίας; ἔγωγε. πότερον δἰ ἄλλο τι ἢ διότι ἀνάγκη τοὺς μὲν ἀπείρους ζημιοῦσθαι, τοὺς δὲ εἰδότας ὀνίνασθαι καὶ ἀπὸ ὄνων καὶ ἀπὸ συῶν καὶ ἀπὸχηνῶν καὶ ἀπὸ ἄλλου ζῴου παντός; ἔοικε. τί δέ; οὐκ ἐπὶ τοῖς σκεύεσιν ὁ αὐτὸς λόγος; ἀλλὰ κιθάρᾳ χρήσαιτο ἂν ὁ ἄμουσος, ἢ ἐπιχειρῶν οὐκ ἂν εἴη καταγέλαστος, πρὸς τῷ μηδὲν ἐργάζεσθαι καὶ τὴν κιθάραν διαφθείρων καὶ ἀπορρηγνὺς τοὺς φθόγγους; τί δέ;
[19] Or do you not know that from the keeping of sheep and the driving of asses some derive benefit and others injury?” “I do.” “Is it not simply because the inexperienced necessarily receive damage and those who know benefit, whether it be a question of asses or swine or geese or any other creature?” “It appears so.”
“Furthermore, can it be that, as regards the use of things, the same reasoning does not hold good, but that one who has no knowledge of music could use a lyre, or would he not be ridiculous for trying, not to speak of his accomplishing nothing and ruining the lyre and breaking the strings?
[20] εἴ τις αὐλοῖς οὐκ ὢν αὐλητικὸς ἐθέλοι χρῆσθαι καὶ παριὼνεἰς τὰ θέατρα αὐλεῖν, οὐκ αὐτός τε δώσει δίκην βαλλόμενος καὶ τοὺς αὐλοὺς ἂν προσέτι συντρίψειεν; ὃς δ᾽ ἂν ἐπιχειρῇ πηδαλίῳ χρῆσθαι οὐκ ἐπιστάμενος κυβερνᾶν, ἔστιν ὅπως οὐκ ἂν τάχιστα ἀνατρέψας τὴν ναῦν αὑτόν τε ἀπολέσειεν καὶ τοὺς ἐμπλέοντας; τί δέ; ἡ δόρατος χρῆσις ἢ ἀσπίδος συμφέρει τοῖς δειλοῖς καὶ ἀνεπιστήμοσιν,ἀλλ᾽ οὐκ ἂν ἀποβάλοιεν τῇ τοιαύτῃ πείρᾳ τῆς χρήσεως οὐ τὰ ὅπλα μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ αὑτούς; συγχωρῶ, ἔφη, ὦ Διόγενες: ἀλλὰ καταδύεις τὸν ἥλιον περὶ πάντων ἐ�
�ερωτῶν.
[20] Then again, if one who is not a flautist should wish to use the flute and appear in the theatres and play upon it, would he not be pelted as a punishment and be likely to smash his flute into the bargain? And if a man undertakes to handle a rudder without knowing how to steer, will he not assuredly capsize the boat in short order and cause the death of both himself and his fellow-passengers? Still further, does the use of spear or shield do any good when wielded by timid and inexperienced persons, or rather, would they not by such an attempt at use lose not only their weapons but their own lives as well?”
“I grant it, Diogenes,” he replied; “but you are letting the sun down with your interminable questions.”
[21] καὶ πότερον ἄμεινον, εἶπεν, ἀκούοντα ὧν χρὴ καταδῦσαι τὸν ἥλιον ἢ βαδίζοντα μάτην; ὁμοίως δ᾽ ἐπὶ πάντων σχεδὸν ὅσων ἄπεστιν[p. 113] ἐμπειρία τοῦ χρῆσθαι χαλεπὸν τὸ προθυμεῖσθαι, μείζω δὲ τὴν βλάβην γενέσθαι εἰκὸς ἀπὸ τῶν μειζόνων. ἦ οὖν δοκεῖ σοι ὁμοία εἶναι ἡ ὄνου χρῆσις τῇ ἵππου; πόθεν; τί δέ; ἡ ἀνθρώπου τῇ θεοῦ; ἀλλ᾽ οὐδὲ λέγειν ἄξιον, ἔφη, ὦ Διόγενες. ἔστιν οὖν ὃς αὑτῷ χρῆσθαι δύναται, οὐ γιγνώσκων αὑτόν; καὶ πῶς; εἶπεν. ὁ γὰρ ἄνθρωπον ἀγνοῶν ἀδύνατος ἀνθρώπῳ χρῆσθαι. ἀδύνατος γάρ. ὁ δὴ αὑτὸν ἀγνοῶν οὐκ ἂν ἔχοι αὑτῷ χρῆσθαι; δοκεῖ μοι.
Delphi Complete Works of Dio Chrysostom Page 210