[35] But to take just that topic which I mentioned in the beginning, see how important it is. For how you dine in private, how you sleep, how you manage your household, these are matters in which as individuals you are not at all conspicuous; on the other hand, how you behave as spectators and what you are like in the theatre are matters of common knowledge among Greeks and barbarians alike. For your city is vastly superior in point of size and situation, and it is admittedly ranked second among all cities beneath the sun.
[36] ἥ τε γὰρ Αἴγυπτος ὑμῶν, τηλικοῦτον ἔθνος, σῶμα τῆς πόλεώς ἐστι, μᾶλλον δὲ προσθήκη, τοῦ τε ποταμοῦ τὸ ἴδιον τῆς φύσεως καὶ παρὰ τοὺς ἄλλους ἅπαντας λόγου μεῖζον, τό τε θαυμαστὸν αὐτοῦ καὶ τὸ ὠφέλιμον, τήν τε θάλατταν τὴν καθ᾽ ἡμᾶς ἅπασαν ἐκδέχεσθε, κάλλει τε λιμένων καὶ μεγέθει στόλου καὶ τῶν πανταχοῦ γιγνομένων ἀφθονίᾳ καὶ διαθέσει, καὶ τὴν ἔξωθεν ὑπερκειμένην ἔχετε, τήν τε Ἐρυθρὰν καὶ τὴν Ἰνδικήν, ἧς πρότερον τοὔνομα ἀκοῦσαι χαλεπὸν ἦν: ὥστε τὰς ἐμπορίας οὐ νήσων οὐδὲ λιμένων οὐδὲ πορθμῶν τινων καὶ ἰσθμῶν, ἀλλὰ σχεδὸν ἁπάσης τῆς οἰκουμένης γίγνεσθαι παρ᾽ ὑμῖν. κεῖται γὰρ ἐν συνδέσμῳ τινὶ τῆς ὅλης γῆς καὶ τῶν πλεῖστον ἀπῳκισμένων ἐθνῶν, ὥσπερ ἀγορὰ μιᾶς πόλεως εἰς ταὐτὸ ξυνάγουσα πάντας καὶ δεικνύουσά τε ἀλλήλοις καὶ καθ᾽ ὅσον οἷόν τε ὁμοφύλους ποιοῦσα.
[36] For not only does the mighty nation, Egypt, constitute the framework of your city — or more accurately its appendage — but the peculiar nature of the river, when compared with all others, defies description with regard to both its marvellous habits and its usefulness; and furthermore, not only have you a monopoly of the shipping of the entire Mediterranean by reason of the beauty of your harbours, the magnitude of your fleet, and the abundance and the marketing of the products of every land, but also the outer waters that lie beyond are in your grasp, both the Red Sea and the Indian Ocean, whose name was rarely heard in former days. The result is that the trade, not merely of islands, ports, a few straits and isthmuses, but of practically the whole world is yours. For Alexandria is situated, as it were, at the cross-roads of the whole world, of even the most remote nations thereof, as if it were a market serving a single city, a market which brings together into one place all manner of men, displaying them to one another and, as far as possible, making them a kindred people.
[37] ἴσως οὖν χαίρετε ἀκούοντες, καὶ νομίζετε ἐπαινεῖσθαι ταῦτα ἐμοῦ λέγοντος, ὥσπερ ὑπὸ τῶν ἄλλων τῶν ἀεὶ θωπευόντων ὑμᾶς: ἐγὼ δὲ ἐπῄνεσα ὕδωρ καὶ γῆν καὶ λιμένας καὶ τόπους καὶ πάντα μᾶλλον ἢ ὑμᾶς. ποῦ γὰρ εἶπον ὥς ἐστε φρόνιμοι καὶ σώφρονες καὶ δίκαιοι; οὐχὶ τἀναντία τούτων; ἔστι γὰρ ἀνθρώπων ἔπαινος εὐταξία, πρᾳότης, ὁμόνοια, κόσμος πολιτείας, τὸ προσέχειν τοῖς ὀρθῶς λέγουσι, τὸ μὴ πάντοτε ζητεῖν ἡδονάς. ἀναγωγαὶ δὲ καὶ κατάρσεις καὶ πλήθους ὑπερβολὴ καὶ ὠνίων καὶ νεῶν πανηγύρεως καὶ λιμένος καὶ ἀγορᾶς ἐστιν ἐγκώμιον,
[37] Perhaps these words of mine are pleasing to your ears and you fancy that you are being praised by me, as you are by all the rest who are always flattering you; but I was praising water and soil and harbours and places and everything except yourselves. For where have I said that you are sensible and temperate and just? Was it not quite the opposite? For when we praise human beings, it should be for their good discipline, gentleness, concord, civic order, for heeding those who give good counsel, and for not being always in search of pleasures. But arrivals and departures of vessels, and superiority in size of population, in merchandise, and in ships, are fit subjects for praise in the case of a fair, a harbour, or a market-place, but not of a city;
[38] οὐ πόλεως: οὐδέ γε, ἂν ὕδωρ ἐπαινῇ τις, ἀνθρώπων ἔπαινος οὗτός ἐστιν, ἀλλὰ φρεάτων: οὐδ᾽ ἂν περὶ εὐκρασίας λέγῃ τις, τοὺς ἀνθρώπους εἶναί φησιν ἀγαθούς, ἀλλὰ τὴν χώραν: οὐδ᾽ ἂν περὶ [p. 278] ἰχθύων, τὴν πόλιν ἐπαινεῖ: πόθεν; ἀλλὰ θάλατταν ἢ λίμνην ἢ ποταμόν. ὑμεῖς δέ, ἂν ἐγκωμιάζῃ τις τὸν Νεῖλον, ἐπαίρεσθε, ὥσπερ αὐτοὶ ῥέοντες ἀπὸ Αἰθιοπίας. σχεδὸν δὲ καὶ τῶν ἄλλων οἱ πλείους ἐπὶ τοῖς τοιούτοις χαίρουσι, καὶ μακαρίους ἑαυτοὺς κρίνουσιν, ἂν οἰκῶσι καθ᾽ Ὅμηρον νῆσον δενδρήεσσαν ἢ βαθεῖαν ἤτινα ἤπειρον εὔβοτον, εὔμηλον, ἢ πρὸς ὄρεσι σκιεροῖς ἢ πηγαῖς διαυγέσιν: ὧν οὐδὲν ἴδιόν ἐστιν ἐκείνων: ἀρετῆς δὲ οὐδὲ ὄναρ αὐτοῖς μέλει.
[38] nay, if a man speaks in praise of water, he is not praising men but wells; if he talks of good climate, he does not mean that the people are good but the land; if he speaks of fish, he is not praising the city — how absurd! — but a sea, a lake, or a stream. Yet if someone eulogizes the Nile, you Alexandrians are as elated as if you yourselves were rivers flowing from Ethiopia. Indeed, it is safe to say that most other people also are delighted by such things and count themselves blessed if they dwell, as Homer puts it, ‘on a tree-clad isle’ or one that is ‘deep-soiled’ or on a mainland ‘of abundant pasture, rich in sheep’ or hard by ‘shadowy mountains’ or ‘fountains of translucent waters,’ none of which is a personal attribute of those men themselves; however, touching human virtue, they care not at all, not even in their dreams!
[39] ἐγὼ δὲ τούτων ἐμνήσθην οὔτε ὑμᾶς ἐπαίρων οὔτε τοῖς συνήθως ὑμνοῦσιν αὐτὰ ῥήτορσιν ἢ ποιηταῖς παραβάλλων ἐμαυτόν. δεινοὶ γὰρ ἐκεῖνοι καὶ μεγάλοι σοφισταὶ καὶ γόητες: τὰδ᾽ ἡμέτερα φαῦλα καὶ πεζὰ ἐν τοῖς λόγοις, οὐ μέντοι περὶ φαύλων. τὰ μὲν γὰρ λεγόμενα αὐτὰ οὐ μεγάλα, περὶ μεγίστων δὲ ὡς οἷόν τε. καὶ νῦν εἶπον τὰ περὶ τῆς πόλεως, δεῖξαι βουλόμενος ὑμῖν ὡς ὅ, τι ἂν ἀσχημονῆτε οὐ κρύφα γίγνεται τοῦτο οὐδ᾽ ἐν ὀλίγοις,
[39] But my purpose in mentioning such matters was neither to elate you nor to range myself beside those who habitually sing such strains, whether orators or poets. For they are clever persons, mighty sophists, wonder-workers; but I am quite ordinary and prosaic in my utterance, though not ordinary in my theme. For though the words that I speak are not great in themselves, they treat of topics of the greatest possible moment. And what I said just now about the city was meant to show you that whatever impropriety you commit is committed, not in secrecy or in the presence of just a few, but in the presence of all mankind.
[40] ἀλλ᾽ ἐν ἅπασιν ἀνθρώποις. ὁρῶ γὰρ ἔγωγε οὐ μόνον Ἕλληνασπαρ᾽ ὑμῖν οὐδ᾽ Ἰταλοὺς οὐδὲ ἀπὸ τῶν πλησίον Συρίας, Λιβύης, Κιλικίας, οὐδὲ τοὺς ὑπὲρ ἐκείνους Αἰθίοπας οὐδ
ὲ Ἄραβας ἀλλὰ καὶ Βακτρίους καὶ Σκύθας καὶ Πέρσας καὶ Ἰνδῶν τινας, οἳ συνθεῶνται καὶ πάρεισιν ἑκάστοτε ὑμῖν: ὥστε ὑμεῖς μὲν ἀκούετε ἑνός, ἂν οὕτω τύχῃ, κιθαρῳδοῦ, καὶ τούτου συνήθους, ἀκούεσθεδὲ ὑπὸ μυρίων ἐθνῶν οὐκ ἐπισταμένων ὑμᾶς, καὶ ὁρᾶτε μὲν τρεῖς ἢ τέτταρας ἡνιόχους, ὁρᾶσθε δὲ ὑπὸ τοσούτων μὲν Ἑλλήνων, τοσούτων δὲ βαρβάρων.
[40] For I behold among you, not merely Greeks and Italians and people from neighbouring Syria, Libya, Cilicia, nor yet Ethiopians and Arabs from more distant regions, but even Bactrians and Scythians and Persians and a few Indians, and all these help to make up the audience in your theatre and sit beside you on each occasion; therefore, while you, perchance, are listening to a single harpist, and that too a man with whom you are well acquainted, you are being listened to by countless peoples who do not know you; and while you are watching three or four charioteers, you yourselves are being watched by countless Greeks and barbarians as well.
[41] τί οὖν οἴεσθε τούτους ἐπὶ γῆς πέρατα ἐλθόντας λέγειν; οὐχ ὡς πόλιν εἴδομεν τὰ μὲν ἄλλα θαυμαστὴν καὶ τῶν ἀνθρωπίνων θεαμάτων πάντων κρεῖττον θέαμα, κόσμῳτε ἱερῶν καὶ πλήθει πολιτῶν καὶ τῶν ἐπιτηδείων περιουσίᾳ, πάντα ἀκριβῶς διεξιόντας ὡς ἂν δύνωνται τοῖς αὑτῶν, ἃ καὶ μικρὸν ἔμπροσθεν εἶπον, τὰ τοῦ Νείλου καὶ τῆς χώρας καὶ τῆς θαλάττης καὶ τὸ μέγιστον τὴν ἐπιφάνειαν τοῦ θεοῦ: μαινομένην δὲ ὑπὸ ᾠδῆς καὶ δρόμων ἱππικῶν καὶ μηδὲν ἄξιον πράττουσαν ἐν τούτοις ἑαυτῆς; οἱ γὰρ ἄνθρωποι θύοντες μέν εἰσι μέτριοι καὶ βαδίζοντες [p. 279] καθ᾽ αὑτοὺς καὶ τἄλλα πράττοντες: ὅταν δὲ εἰς τὸ θέατρον εἰσέλθωσιν ἢ τὸ στάδιον, ὥσπερ φαρμάκων αὐτοῖς ἐκεῖ κατορωρυγμένων, οὐδὲν οἴδασι τῶν προτέρων οὐδὲ αἰσχύνονται λέγειν ἢ ποιεῖν ὅ, τι ἂν αὐτοῖς ἐπέλθῃ.
[41] What, then, do you suppose those people say when they have returned to their homes at the ends of the earth? Do they not say: “We have seen a city that in most respects is admirable and a spectacle that surpasses all human spectacles, with regard both to beauty and sanctuaries and multitude of inhabitants and abundance of all that man requires,” going on to describe to their fellow citizens as accurately as possible all the things that I myself named a short while ago — all about the Nile, the land, and the sea, and in particular the epiphany of the god; “and yet,” they will add, “it is a city that is mad over music and horse-races and in these matters behaves in a manner entirely unworthy of itself. For the Alexandrians are moderate enough when they offer sacrifice or stroll by themselves or engage in their other pursuits; but when they enter the theatre or the stadium, just as if drugs that would madden them lay buried there, they lose all consciousness of their former state and are not ashamed to say or do anything that occurs to them.
[42] τὸ δὲ πάντων χαλεπώτατον, ἐσπουδακότες περὶ τὴν θέαν οὐχ ὁρῶσι καὶ ἀκούειν ἐθέλοντες οὐκ ἀκούουσι, σαφῶς ἐξεστηκότες καὶ παρανοοῦντες, οὐκ ἄνδρες μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ παῖδες καὶ γύναια. ἐπειδὰν δὲ παύσηται τὸ δεινὸν καὶ διαλυθῶσι, τὸ μὲν ἀκμαιότερον ἔσβεσται τῆς ταραχῆς: ἔτι δὲ ἔν τε συνόδοις καὶ στενωποῖς μένει καὶ δι᾽ ὅλης τῆς πόλεως ἐπὶ συχνὰς ἡμέρας: καθάπερ ἐμπρησμοῦ μεγάλου λήξαντος ἰδεῖν ἔστι μέχρι πολλοῦ τήν τε λιγνὺν καὶ μέρη τινὰ φλεγόμενα.
[42] And what is most distressing of all is that, despite their interest in the show, they do not really see, and, though they wish to hear, they do not hear, being evidently out of their senses and deranged — not only men, but even women and children. And when the dreadful exhibition is over and they are dismissed, although the more violent aspect of their disorder has been extinguished, still at street-corners and in alley-ways the malady continues throughout the entire city for several days; just as when a mighty conflagration has died down, you can see for a long time, not only the smoke, but also some portions of the buildings still aflame.”
[43] καίτοι τάχα ἐρεῖ τις τῶν Περσῶν ἢ τῶν Βακτρίων, ὡς αὐτοὶ μὲν ἴσασιν ἱππεύειν καὶ σχεδὸν ἄριστοι δοκοῦσιν ἱππεῖς: τὸ γὰρ πρᾶγμα ὑπὲρ ἀρχῆς καὶ ἐλευθερίας ἐπιτηδεύουσιν: ἀλλ᾽ ὅμως οὐδὲν τοιοῦτον οὐδ᾽ αὖ ὅμοιον πεπόνθασιν: ὑμεῖς δὲ οὐδεπώποτε αὐτοὶ θιγόντες οὐδ᾽ ἐπιβάντες ἵππων οὐ δύνασθε κατέχειν αὑτοὺς, ἀλλ᾽ ἐστὲ ὅμοιοι χωλοῖς ὑπὲρ δρόμου ἐρίζουσιν. τοιγαροῦν δειλοὶ ὄντες καὶ ἀστράτευτοι πολλὰς ἤδη νενικήκατε ἱππομαχίας.
[43] Moreover, some Persian or Bactrian is likely to say: “We ourselves know how to ride horses and are held to be just about the best in horsemanship” — for they cultivate that art for the defence of their empire and independence— “but for all that we have never behaved that way or anything like it”; whereas you, who have never handled a horse or mounted one yourselves, are unable to restrain yourselves, but are like lame men squabbling over a foot-race. That may explain why, cowards and slackers though you are, you have won so many cavalry battles in the past!
[44] σκοπεῖτε δὲ μὴ περὶ ὑμῶν ἀληθέστερον οὗτοι λέγωσιν ἤ περὶ τῶν Ἑλλήνων Ἀνάχαρσιν τὸν Σκύθην φασὶν εἰπεῖν: ἐδόκει μὲν γὰρ εἶναι τῶν σοφῶν: ἧκε δὲ εἰς τὴν Ἑλλάδα θεασόμενος οἶμαι τά τε ἔθη καὶ τοὺς ἀνθρώπους: ἔλεγεν οὖν ὡς ἔστιν ἐν ἑκάστῃ πόλει τῶν Ἑλλήνων ἀποδεδειγμένον χωρίον, ἐν ᾧ μαίνονται καθ᾽ ἡμέραν, τὸ γυμνάσιον λέγων: ἐπειδὰν γὰρ ἐλθόντες ἀποδύσωνται, χρίονται φαρμάκῳ. τοῦτο δὲ ἔφη κινεῖν αὐτοῖς τὴν μανίαν. εὐθὺς γὰρ οἱ μὲν τρέχουσιν, οἱ δὲ καταβάλλουσιν ἀλλήλους, οἱ δὲ τὼ χεῖρε ἀνατείναντες μάχονται πρὸς οὐδένα ἀνθρώπων, οἱ δὲ παίονται. ταῦτα δὲ ποιήσαντες, ἀποξυσάμενοι τὸ φάρμακον αὐτίκα σωφρονοῦσι, καὶ φιλικῶς αὑτοῖς ἤδη ἔχοντες βαδίζουσι κάτω ὁρῶντες, αἰσχυνόμενοι τοῖς πεπραγμένοις.
[44] And take heed lest these people prove to have spoken more truthfully about you than Anacharsis the Scythian is said to have spoken about the Greeks — for he was held to be one of the sages, and he came to Greece, I suppose, to observe the customs and the people. Anacharsis said that in each city of the Greeks there is a place set apart in which they act insanely day after day — meaning the gymnasium — for when they go there and strip off their clothes, they smear themselves with a drug. “And this,” said he, “arouses the madness in them; for immediately some run, others throw each other down, others put up their hands and fight
an imaginary foe, and others submit to blows. And when they have behaved in that fashion,” said he, “they scrape off the drug and straightway are sane again and, now on friendly terms with one another, they walk with downcast glance, being ashamed at what has occurred.”
[45] ἐκεῖνος μὲν παίζων καὶ καταγελῶν οὐ φαύλου πράγματος, ὡς ἐγὼ δοκῶ, ταῦτα ἔλεγεν. περὶ δὲ ὑμῶν τί ἄν τις ἔχοι λέγειν; καὶ γὰρ ὑμεῖς ὅταν συνέλθητε, πυκτεύετε, βοᾶτε, ῥιπτεῖτε, ὀρχεῖσθε, ποίῳ χρισάμενοι φαρμάκῳ; δῆλον ὅτι τῷ τῆς ἀνοίας: ὡς οὐκ ἦν ὑμῖν [p. 280] ἐπιεικῶς αὐτὰ ὁρᾶν. μὴ γὰρ τοῦτό με οἴεσθε λέγειν ὡς οὐ χρὴ καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα γίγνεσθαι ἐν ταῖς πόλεσι: χρὴ γὰρ ἴσως καὶ ἀναγκαῖόν ἐστι διὰ τὴν τῶν πολλῶν ἀσθένειαν καὶ σχολήν: ἴσως δὲ καὶ τῶν βελτιόνων εἰσὶν οἱ δεόμενοι διατριβῆς τινος καὶ παραμυθίας ἐν τῷ βίῳ: δεῖ δὲ μετὰ κόσμου καὶ σχήματος πρέποντος
[45] Anacharsis was jesting and making sport about no trifling matter, it seems to me, when he said these things; but what might a visitor say about yourselves? For as soon as you get together, you set to work to box and shout and hurl and dance — smeared with what drug? Evidently with the drug of folly; as if you could not watch the spectacle sensibly! For I would not have you think I mean that even such performances should not take place in cities; for perhaps they should, and it may be necessary, because of the frailty of the masses and their idle habits; and possibly even among better people too there are those who need some diversion and amusement in life, but they should take it with decorum and as befits free men.
Delphi Complete Works of Dio Chrysostom Page 279