I prop my feet up on the coffee table and turn on the TV, flipping channels over to the Yankees’ game. Two innings later, the Yanks are down by one and I’m on my second beer. Too bad I don’t have nine beers for nine innings. Maybe then I could get Riley out of my head.
Someone knocks on my door. I glare at it. I am not up for company. It’s probably Sam. Rick moved out, and no one else I know could get in without hitting the intercom to be let into the building.
More loud knocks follow. Actually, it sounds like he’s kicking my door. It’s a low sound. Sam’s voice carries through the door. “I know you’re in there. I hear the TV.”
I blow out a breath. He’s probably about to rip me a new one for dumping his sister. This is exactly why the bro code was in place.
Fuck it. I’m not losing my best friend because of her. Sam and I were friends long before she barged into my life with her fake-wedding trick and sensible panties. Don’t think about it.
I stand and realize I’m a little more buzzed than I realized. I didn’t eat much today. I just haven’t had much of an appetite lately.
Sam kicks the door again. “Come on, open up. It’s Sam.”
“Hold on.”
I stride to the door and fling it open. Sam’s standing there, holding a pizza box and a six-pack of my favorite beer. My throat nearly closes. He’s got my back. My bro.
He shakes his head. “You look like hell. I brought sustenance.”
“Thanks,” I manage over the lump in my throat.
He makes himself at home, settling on the couch and popping open a beer. I sit next to him and take a slice of pizza with sausage and pepperoni, which is also my favorite. My favorite beer and pizza. I thought for sure he’d take her side. Blood is thicker than water, all that stuff. It’s why I haven’t returned any of his texts or phone calls.
Sam takes a slice of pizza, his eyes on the Yankees’ game. We sit, we eat, we drink, and we talk about the game. It’s like old times. By the time we polish off the pizza, I’m actually starting to feel human again. I swear I’ve been trying to function with a gaping wound in my side. Riley took a bite out of me. I’m like the walking wounded.
It’s not until the game ends that Sam says, “So things got fucked up between you and Riley.”
“Yeah.”
“She says you’re not being yourself, trying too hard to be serious.”
I blow out a breath. “She’s the one who tricked me into a relationship.”
His brows shoot up. “Tricked you?”
I run a hand through my hair. “Forget it.”
“I’m not going to forget it. You’re miserable. She’s miserable. It’s obvious you should be together.”
I open up another beer, and he takes it from me. “Hey!”
“Jack, what’s going on? You told my entire family you were committed to her in one breath, and the next thing out of your mouth is goodbye. What happened? Did you freak over the commitment thing?”
“Did I freak over the commitment thing?” I echo incredulously.
“It’s why I warned her away from you in the first place. You never commit.”
“I married her!”
His eyes widen. “What?”
I gesture wildly. “I thought I did, but she tricked me, and then the only way out was to never consummate it for the annulment, but then that had one big catch too, so I was seriously considering staying married. Next thing I know, I’m in over my head in a committed relationship!”
He stares at me like I have three heads. “Bro, you’re saying you didn’t sleep with my sister but you married her?”
“Yes! That’s exactly how this whole thing started. How fucked up is that?”
“Very.” He looks to the ceiling for a moment before meeting my eyes. “So you guys are married?”
I jab a finger in the air. “That’s how she tricked me. Oh, she’s devious, your sister. She told me we got married in Vegas and I was too shit-faced to remember it, and then she assured me it was fine because we’d just quietly annul it as long as we didn’t hook up.”
“Ha!”
“It’s not funny! She tricked me into a relationship.”
“She pranked you. I told her you were the king of pranks.” He elbows me in the ribs. “She was being playful, which is honestly not like her. Must’ve been Vegas.”
“Lucky me.”
“So is that the problem? You still hold the pretend marriage against her?”
“No.” I rub the back of my neck. “Gimme my beer back.”
He hands it over, and I take a long swallow. I can’t bring myself to admit the truth. I’m in love with her, and she’s just not in the same place. She wants me to be the fun-time guy all the time. Well, that’s not the guy you get serious about, and for the first time in my life, I want that. This sucks. Love sucks. Which is why I was so careful to avoid it all these years.
Sam’s brow furrows in concentration. “Maybe the fact that you didn’t hook up gave you time to get to know each other better. Maybe that’s what led to a deeper relationship. Not a trick, really, when you think about it. You have to admit, you never stuck around long enough to get to know any other woman.”
“It’s not a deep relationship. Nope. She wants light and casual. I can’t do that.” My throat tightens, and I look away. “Not with her.”
“You guys should talk it out. You’re both miserable being apart.”
I shake my head. It won’t help. Nothing will.
He claps me on the shoulder. “Don’t give up on her.”
“She gave up on me.”
He opens his mouth and closes it, seeming to think better of giving me any more advice. Good. Because no amount of advice in the world is going to change the facts. Riley isn’t serious about me. I’m alone in the deep end, floundering around. I hate this.
He stands. “Gotta go. Hang in there.”
I force a level tone. “I’m fine.”
He inclines his head before turning to go.
“Don’t tell her I said any of that,” I blurt.
He turns back. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not worried. Just, you know, if you see her, tell her I’m fine. No, tell her I’m great.”
He shakes his head sadly. “I’m not going to lie. Later.”
He leaves, and I stare at the door for a moment before grabbing my beer and finishing it off. I set the empty bottle on the table and flop back on the sofa. Unwanted memories of Riley flash through my mind. The first time we met all those years ago when she was here with Sam. The obvious interest in her eyes as she checked me out. Later, when I saw her before she started her new job, looking so professional and competent, and so far removed from my life. Vegas. Dancing, talking, laughing. That was when we were drunk. Sober, the differences between us are too stark.
I scrub a hand over my face. It’s over. I need to stop thinking about her so much. I refuse to fall apart over a woman.
Riley
“Sam! What’re you doing here?” It’s nearly midnight on a Wednesday night. “Is something wrong with Mom and Dad?”
“No. Can I come in for a few minutes?”
I wave him in. “Yes, sorry.”
He steps inside and says hello to my roommate Greta, who’s tucked under the covers on the sofa, watching something on her laptop.
“We can sit in my room,” I whisper. “Lisa’s working night shift at the hospital.” My other roommate is an emergency room nurse.
I head back to my room and take a seat on my bed. I have a feeling he’s here to talk about Jack. Sam saw my red blotchy face on Sunday after I cried over Jack leaving. I just need to bluster my way through it. I don’t want to cry again. I’ve been crying for days, and I’m tired of crying over Jack. I have no one to blame but myself with my misguided prank.
Sam follows, closing the door behind him and taking a seat on Lisa’s bed across from me. “Were you working late?” He gestures to my laptop on my bed along with a pile of papers.
> “Yeah, I was too restless to sleep, so I thought I’d catch up on some work.”
“How’re you doing?”
“Fine,” I lie, busying myself arranging my papers into a neat stack.
“I just talked to Jack.”
My eyes get hot, and I blink rapidly, trying to hold the tears at bay, my heart thumping hard. “Oh, yeah? How is he?”
“About as miserable as you are, though he wants you to think he’s fine.”
My chest aches. I feel horrible that I hurt him. I never should’ve gotten close to him with a prank. I didn’t consider his feelings. It was selfish of me and wrong.
“It’s my fault,” I choke out. “I hurt him. I did something I’m ashamed of…” I wring my hands together. “I so regret it.”
“C’mon, it can’t be that bad.”
“It is,” I say, lifting my chin. “I’m a terrible heartless person.” I wipe away a tear and meet his eyes, expecting judgment. Instead he looks sympathetic. I look away, wiping tears furiously.
He hands me a tissue and sits next to me. “You’re not a terrible heartless person.”
“I am. I pranked him, but it was all wrong. It wasn’t harmless fun.” I blow my nose and crumple the tissue in my hand. “I basically lured him into a relationship he never wanted and wasn’t ready for. That’s why he was acting so strange, being super serious like he thought he had to be to fit the role I forced him into.”
“Okay, first of all, no one can force Jack to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Trust me, he’s the one directing the action, not taking orders.”
I shake my head, my eyes stinging. Sam doesn’t get it. I messed with Jack’s head and his heart. He’s out of his element, not used to relationships. I broke him. I choke out a sob and cover my face with both hands, embarrassed to break down in front of Sam. I’m just not a big crier.
Sam’s voice is low and soothing. “I know I always talked about how much fun Jack is and all of his crazy pranks because it’s hysterical. He’s the life of the party.”
I lift my head, tears blurring my vision. “I know. And I ruined him!”
“You didn’t ruin him. He does have a serious side. No one can be fun and games all the time. Like, here’s an example. When Rick’s mom died suddenly, Jack rented a car and got us all up to Boston for the funeral. And when we got back, he showed up every night with takeout for Rick for weeks. He got enough for me too, so it looked like we were all just hanging out, but I knew and Rick knew, it was Jack’s way of being there for him. Not one prank in all that time.”
My jaw goes slack. He knows how to be there for someone on an important occasion. My mind flashes to Jack showing up on my birthday and telling me I’d have a brick with my name engraved on it at his work site. That was a thoughtful sweet gesture and, now that I think more about it, he must’ve wanted me to have something permanent linked with him.
Sam goes on. “So if he showed that more serious side to you, it wasn’t an act. You didn’t make him that way. He was being sincere.”
My hand flies to my mouth, my eyes watering. All that serious stuff from Jack was because he was trying to show he was committed to me. I thought he was too serious too fast because he thought he had to be. I thought he was putting on an act of what he thought I wanted. But if he was being sincere, it must be because he has deep feelings for me. And I do too. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d fallen for Jack until I lost him.
I drop my hand. “I think I made a terrible mistake. Again. I keep messing up with him. I rejected his serious side because I thought he wasn’t being himself. I kept telling him to be his old fun self, and he kept getting madder and madder.”
“Because he loves you.”
My breath hitches, fresh tears welling. “I hope so because I’m in love with him.”
He claps me on the shoulder. “Trust me, he does. I’ve never seen Jack so head over ass for a woman before. This is fixable. And he never holds a grudge.”
He’s right. Jack didn’t hold a grudge against me for my naked prank before, but this is delicate territory, heart territory. I stare at the floor, my brow furrowed in concentration as I try to figure out how to fix this thing with Jack.
He stands and kisses the top of my head. “Later. Try not to break his heart.”
“I won’t, I swear.”
He winks and heads out the door.
So funny how Sam kept me from Jack because he didn’t want my heart to be broken, and now he’s warning me not to break Jack’s heart. That would only be possible if Jack feels as much for me as I do for him. I started this, I screwed it up, and I have to be the one to fix it.
The question is how?
14
Jack
I’ve been snarling at everyone at work all week, but I can’t help it. I want to be fine like I told Sam I was, but I’m not. I’m not sure I’ll ever be fine again. Riley ripped my heart out of my chest, and I’ve been a shell of a person ever since. Fucking love. Fucking stupid heart. I want my heart back in one piece. I want to feel normal again. It’s Friday, and I’m not even happy for the weekend. Every day sucks balls.
I take my lunch to an old classroom in the school we’re turning into commercial office space, slide down to the floor, and open up the foil. It’s a meatball sub, which is my favorite kind of sub. My brother Dylan surprised me with it. I’ve been packing a lunch to save money ever since Riley came into my life. I stupidly thought I might need to buy a place for us, instead of renting, something permanent. Joke’s on me. My gut churns. I close the foil, set it down, and just sit there, staring at the linoleum tile.
I can’t help but feel like karma’s biting me in the ass for all the pranks I’ve pulled in my life. Once I gave Connor a painting I found at the curb and told him it was from a famous street artist. It’s been hanging in his apartment for years. A total piece of trash. When Brendan was my roommate a while back, I cut the shoelaces of his running shoes shorter, just a little bit, day by day, until they wouldn’t tie anymore. As a kid, I convinced my parents school was closed for bad weather when it was just delayed. (My brothers didn’t mind that one.) I can’t even count the number of times I switched up food (salt for sugar, etc.) or shampoo or shaving gel. But those were mostly harmless things. Nobody’s feelings got hurt.
That’s what’s pissing me off. Riley went too far. I never pranked women once I realized they found it annoying. I was all about being charming, getting to mutual pleasure.
I promised to stay in touch with women I had no intention of ever seeing again. I pretended so many different women were special when I never took the time to get to know any of them. I only wanted the physical.
Did I hurt their feelings?
They couldn’t have gotten too attached to me after just one night, right? But what if one of them did? Or more than one?
Hell, lots of guys are casual. That wasn’t a prank. I probably could’ve been more up front that it was only ever going to be casual for me. Instead I made promises I had no intention of keeping. This is the worst kind of payback. Riley said she wanted casual, but she’s a thousand times worse than I ever was. Never prank when it comes to love. That’s just basic human decency. She tricked me into loving her, and it was the worst mistake of my life.
Connor pokes his head in the classroom. “Did Dylan make you sit in the corner?”
I shift farther from the corner. “I’m not in the corner, wiseass.”
He’s my younger brother by two years, the most reserved of all my brothers. He crosses the room and joins me with his lunch, which is a sandwich with potato chips on top of the roast beef and provolone cheese. He’s packed his lunch for years, always the same, because he’s saving to buy a place.
He takes a bite of sandwich, chews, and swallows. “You’re not hungry?”
“Nah. You want my meatball sub?”
“I’m good with this. At least take your sub home for dinner.”
“Yes, Mom.”
He elbows me in the ribs. “
You look like you haven’t slept in a week. Is it the neighbor’s dog keeping you up at night or your broken heart?”
And the thing is, it doesn’t come off sounding like he’s giving me shit. He’s got a quiet, even tone. Just his natural demeanor. I almost want to admit my heart is ripped in shreds and I’m not sure it’ll ever go back together the same way. Like when you glue together a broken vase. It never does go back to its full form. It always looks jagged and shitty.
“Dog’s quiet now,” I say. “They took it to bed with them.” Riley fixed the problem, I add silently. Which is when I first got the stupid idea to marry her for real and then got way too serious for her. Excuse me if I finally have deep feelings for a woman and took it seriously. I’m not going to joke around about something as serious as that. There are limits to pranks. Obviously Riley is too new at them to know what the hell she’s doing.
“I didn’t like her for you anyway,” Connor says.
I glare at him mostly because I was never sure Riley and I were on even footing in the first place. “Why not?”
He takes a bite of sandwich and chews, looking thoughtful. “Guess she seemed too conservative or something. Not your type at all.”
“Why did she seem conservative? You only met her at the barbecue. She just wasn’t used to our family. Hers is more formal.”
He looks skeptical. “And her dress was like, kinda, I dunno. The opposite of sexy.”
“The opposite of sexy!” I bark. “It was very sexy the way it hid all her curves. I practically ripped it off her the moment she stepped into my apartment.”
He lifts a brow and goes back to eating his sandwich while I stew. He has no idea about Riley. She’s very sexy, very passionate. It just takes the right person to bring that out in her. I thought that was one of the reasons we worked. Obviously great sex isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.
He finishes his lunch and tucks everything away. “Doesn’t she work as a corporate accountant? That’s another thing that made her not right for you. She’s a suit. You’re not.”
Rogue Rascal (The Rourkes, Book 9) Page 15