Ren backed away from the door as he slowly walked toward us and passed Dewi to Isla and then ran out of the front door and vomited over the edge of the porch. “Scissors! Get the scissors!” He yelled in between gags as Isla walked up to the nursery. I don’t know how she did it, I needed my nose pegged and my t-shirt over it when I changed their diapers. I also had a box of disposable gloves at every diaper station after a sticky shit incident. That stuff was adamant that it wasn’t coming off.
Maya walked into the kitchen and walked back and out the front door just as Cole’s yells changed to screams of “get it off me! get it off!”
Ren turned to look at me with pity in his eyes. “That was fucking disgusting man, sucks that you’ve got that times two!”
Watching Cole roll around the grass screaming, I replied, “Yeah, but you’ve got that too!” And turned to go and get my son, who was making waking sounds.
I know what I’d rather have!
Until Forever
Cole & Ebru
Providence Series Book 3
Cole
I did my best to always be the light-hearted joker in the crowd, never taking life seriously. But deep down, that wasn’t who I was. Well, it was, but there was more to me than that.
I wanted her, but I also wasn’t sure that I was whole enough for her. With what’s happened to my family recently though, I know that if I don’t take the chance, and the risk, I might lose the best thing to ever happen to me.
The one thing that can clear the darkness. I need her!
Ebru
Everyone thought that I was level headed, but what they didn’t know was that I was broken. The death of my sister had shattered me into pieces, and my parents had made the loss even worse. They were meant to be the ones to get me through it all, but because of them I was still drowning in grief.
Now Cole wants me to drop my walls, to take a chance on us. He’s irritating, he’s accident prone, he doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter, he does stupid things all the time…but he’s Cole.
Then he gets me through a tragedy, and it becomes clear I didn’t stand a chance against him – not that I fought against it too hard.
Like attracts like, and sometimes two broken souls can fix each other…along with a good helping of unicorn magic and a heavy dose of stupidity!
Chapter 1
Cole
W hy the hell was I so cold? And fuck me, would those birds shut the fuck up. I turned to find my comforter and realized - I was outside, and naked!
Rolling over, I cracked an eye open to have a look around where I was, and it all came back to me. Yesterday was the day of the year that I dreaded, and I’d come to the lake to numb myself with alcohol, but apparently I’d ended up giving myself frostbite. Fuck, what if my dick fell off?
Sitting up, I looked around trying to find my clothes and then the burning feeling all over my back started to come through the post-alcohol haze. What the hell had I done last night? It felt like I’d poured acid over my back and…
“Motherfucker!” Thank shit no one was around to see me; my balls were on fire, and it was like the time Layla had put Bengay in my jockey shorts. I didn’t know whether to itch, scream or roll around trying to put the fire out.
Running over to my clothes, I started putting them on, but the feeling of even my tee rubbing against my back was driving me insane. When I put the boxers on, I gave in and finally screamed and tore them back off. How the hell was I gonna drive back?
“Uh, Cole,” the sound of someone clearing their throat behind me had me spinning around to beg for help. “I think you might need some medical help,” Landon, one of Coleman’s men said looking everywhere but at me. I didn’t give a fuck; I was about to throw up it was that painful.
“Let’s go,” I walked past him like a cowboy out of the Wild West who’d been riding on his horse for five days straight. I couldn’t let my thighs even brush against my balls.
I swear I heard the shit stain chuckle, but right now I had other priorities, mainly the fact my balls were about to explode like an egg in a microwave.
Brett
“Sir, we have a situation,” Coleman’s man said down the phone, and my heart sank. What the fuck had happened now? Was she ok?
“Tell me,” I could hear groaning and high pitched squeals in the background now, so it couldn’t be her.
“Your brother was at the lake all night. He was drunk and passed out on the grass.”
“He’s been known to do that,” I was brusque but come the crap on, this wasn’t a problem.
“Sir, he has bites all over his back and is reacting to them. In addition to that,” he swallowed audibly in my ear, and I swear he was trying not to laugh. “He has them on his…testicles.”
I stared at the wall in front of me and blinked. “So, he has a bite on his balls? Why is this an issue?”
“It’s unknown what he was bitten by, but he was found near some ant hills.” I winced because those fuckers were evil, and if he got a bite on his balls that would be agony, albeit hilarious, though. “He requires medical attention, Mr. Townsend. The reaction is severe, and the bites cover almost all of the skin on his back, buttocks, the backs of his legs and of course his testicles.”
I couldn’t stop the roar of laughter that came out of me; it could only happen to Cole. “Where…” I wheezed, “are you at?”
“Just entering the ranch, Sir. We’ll be at your Mother's in one minute. Could you ask her to be ready to assist, please?” He was definitely trying not to laugh.
“Ma!” I hung up the phone and yelled at the top of my voice. “You’re needed!”
She walked out of the kitchen towards me, and I filled her in on what I’d been told just as we heard a horn sound outside the front door. Rolling her eyes, Mom went out to the car and opened the back door.
“Honestly Cole, all it’ll take is a…sweet Jesus what the hell did you do to your jewels? Brett, call your father! “
Putting my phone to my ear, I sniggered as I walked up to the back of the car expecting to see just some big bites on his ass. Nothing could have prepared me for what I actually saw, and no amount of therapy would ever get rid of the image that was now firmly embedded in my mind.
“Uh Dad, can you get home? I think Cole needs to go to the ER,” I said, trying not to throw up at the sight in front of me. “I think Cole’s balls are about to explode! Yeah, you need to see this shit!”
Hanging up, I stood staring with my mouth open in horror; this shit was too good to believe. In fact, on that thought…I lifted my phone up.
“Are you taking pictures you cock juggling thunder cu…ahhhh they’re on fire!” Cole had shifted to turn around and glare at me, but apparently, anything touching his balls, that now looked like a baboon’s ass, was torture.
Speaking of asses, ”How the fuck did you get bites on your ring man?”
Mom hadn’t said a word up until now; she was just standing there blinking at what I’m sure would now feature in all of my nightmares. Snapping out of her stupor as he whimpered, she walked around to the passenger side and got in next to Landon, who was pinching the bridge of his nose with his shoulders shaking.
“I take it we’re going to the ER,” he asked, turning to Mom.
“What? No! You can’t take me in there like this,” Cole whined as I shut his door. Nodding at Coleman, who had a look on his face like he’d just licked a socket, we got into my vehicle and followed behind them.
“If you don’t get this on video I’m quitting,” he mumbled. Just as well I had a full battery on my cell.
Ebru
The paperwork in front of me was one big blur. I’d been working for fifteen hours straight because we were short staffed. If it had been a quiet night it wouldn’t have been so bad, but last night had been the night from hell with every asshole and their dog turning up for treatment from a splinter in the hand to the tree branch that was through a guy’s ass.
Sighing, I moved the form to the side and
reached for the coffee that tasted like what I’d imagine moldy ass would taste like, but it did the job. Maybe if I put my head down on the desk and closed my eyes for five minutes…
The door opened, and I looked up to see my friend Lars standing there with a huge grin on his face. “He’s baaaaaaaaaack!” he singsonged and burst out laughing. Seeing my confused look, he laughed harder. “VIVA EL UNICORN!”
Apparently, me hitting my head on my desk repeatedly made the situation even funnier because he slid down the door frame holding his stomach. I was surrounded by assholes and the biggest one who had condemned me to a lifetime of unicorn bullshit from my colleagues was somewhere in this hospital.
“Oh shit, please tell me they didn’t give him painkillers!”
I stepped over the asshole who was now letting out high pitched whines as he lay on his side with tears and snot all over his face. My foot hitting him in the gut was an accident, my other foot kicking him up the ass wasn’t.
Chapter 2
Ebru
“S o let me get this straight,” I crossed my arms over my chest as I spoke to Parker. We’d become good friends through Luke and he was a freaking awesome Doctor to boot, so working with him was actually pleasant unlike some of the other twats in here. “He’s had an allergic reaction to some bites?”
Parker’s shoulders were shaking as he filled in the chart in front of him. “Yup!”
“What was he bitten by?”
“We think it’s a mixture of ants and mosquitoes,” he turned to look at me and burst out laughing. “You need to go and see for yourself.”
Rolling my eyes, I walked toward the room that the chart said that he was in. I swear this guy was the biggest hypochondriac I’d ever come across.
As I got to his door, I heard Colette’s voice. “Why do you think they turned blue? Cole get back into that bed!”
Coleman was standing at the door with his arms crossed looking up at the ceiling.
“What’s happening?” I asked him and backed away when I saw the look on his face.
“My advice, turn around and don't come back,” he grunted. “There are some things that you never need to see.”
I was even more intrigued now. Just as I was about to ask him some more questions, the big baby’s voice came from deeper inside the room.
“Where’s the doctor?” Well, at least he was conscious this time and not trying to influence the tides with his dick. “Oh my God!”
“Cole, don’t you dare do that. Don’t make me tell you again! Parker was going to get the medication that you need, so just get your butt back in that bed and lie down.”
Walking into the room, I came to an abrupt halt when I saw Cole naked as the day he was born, bent over with his ass against where the door to the bathroom was slightly open. He had his eyes closed and was trying to fight his Mom off as she tried to get him back into bed. Snapping out of my stupor, I walked up to Brett who was recording it on his phone.
“He’s trying to slam his balls in the door to get rid of the…” he trailed off as Cole dropped to the floor and started writhing around on his back.
“What the hell? It’s a couple of ant bites!”
Parker came back into the room at that moment. “Right Cole, we’re gonna get this onboard and it’ll help with the itching,” he said as Brett passed me his cell and went to help Parker get Cole off the floor and into the bed.
“Cut them off, please just cut them off,” the twat whined, screaming as he climbed onto the bed on his hands and knees. Making eye contact with Parker, I rolled my eyes. “They’re gonna explode!”
Turning back to Cole, I looked at the screen of Brett’s phone to make sure that I…”Holy shit!”
His back looked like he'd been bathing in poison oak and fire ants; what the shit had he done?
“My balls,” he whined, and that’s when I looked at them. One of the only things that my parents had ever done with me as a child was take me to the zoo once, and I remember there being a baboon that had a bigger more colorful ass than the others because he was the head of the troop. What I was looking at right now would have put him to shame. They were the size of what I’d imagine a rhino’s would be.
Brett was sniggering as he walked back to me and Parker looked like he was about to lose the tight hold he had on his self-control. It was the deep rumbles coming from the corner of the room though that got all of our attentions - holy shit Coleman laughed, he actually laughed.
“You mean insensitive bastards,” Cole whined with his face on the bed and ass in the air. I had to admit, it looked like fucking agony. Without warning him, Parker stuck the first needle in Cole’s ass where there was a tiny bit of space that wasn’t red raw. “I wasn’t ready!” he howled.
Laughing silently, Parker picked up the next syringe and did the same thing. “Would you leave my ass alone, you asshole!” His yell was muffled by the pillow that he was biting now, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said. This happened another two times before he’d had enough. “If you touch my ass or stick anything in it again, I swear to God…”
“I told you there was something wrong with that boy, Linda.” We all turned to the doorway to see Cole’s grandparents, Hurst and Linda, standing there beside Cole’s Dad Jack who was looking at his back in horror. They walked closer to Cole’s bed, and all stopped at the same time when they saw the cantaloupe-sized man bags that he was now sporting. “Holy mother of God boy, those are fuckin’ blue! I’ve heard of blue balls, but that’s just…I don’t even…”
He shook his head and backed into the corner still staring in horror. The drugs were obviously taking effect because Cole’s body suddenly melted out of his doggy position until he was lying out flat on the bed.
“My baaaaaaz need scatchy,” he slurred, creating a sudden flurry of movement from everyone who left the room in a mass exodus, pushing each other out the way to get to the door first.
“I’m out!”
“I don’t touch ball sack!”
“My nails are too sharp!”
“I have a wart!”
“Baaaabeeeeeeee,” more slurring came from elephant balls lying on the bed. “I a unicon n ma baaaaaaaz…” he trailed off and snuffled into the pillow.
Snorting, I walked up to him. “Uh, with the amount of shit you just had injected into you, I highly doubt you’ll be able to fulfill the mandatory unicorn horn for a while.”
Proving that there really was something wrong with him, he flipped onto his back and proudly displayed, yet again, his unicorn horn.
“What the fuck?” A deep voice barked from behind me as a giggle broke into the room followed by a freaking loud gasp. Turning around, I saw Ren trying to cover Maya’s eyes and glaring at his brother while Tony clapped his hands beside them.
“Ohhh hell yes,” he said walking towards the bed. “Viva el unico…holy fucking shit what the fuck are those?” he broke off screaming and pointing at Cole’s balls, which you just couldn’t not see were that swollen.
“Oh Jesus Christ,” Ren gagged from the doorway while Maya stopped laughing and bit her fist. To be honest, I was relieved she’d finally stopped because Maya laughed with gusto and that poor baby in her stomach was getting pitched around in there.
Reaching down with glazed eyes and a doped up grin on his face, Cole went to hold one and then started scratching away at it.
“Leave them alone,” I tried to grab his hand but he kept moving it. “Can one of you help?”
“He touched his fuckin’ balls, no way!” Ren looked absolutely disgusted that I’d even ask.
“Is it contagious?” Tony asked, still staring at them.
Knowing that they weren’t going to be any help, I hit the call button on the bed and when Lars answered I asked for the only thing that I knew would make a difference, “bring five pairs of socks…and two rolls of tape.”
Cole
Why was I so itchy? Opening my eyes, I looked around and took in the hospital room that I was in and it ca
me back to me. I’d done it again! I didn’t have it in me to be embarrassed; I was that uncomfortable. It felt like I’d dipped my balls in lava and then rolled around in a barbecue. I heard a snuffle from beside me and turned my head to see Ebru lying with her head on the bed fast asleep. What was she doing here?
I’d taken some time away from seeing her as often as I normally did so that I could try and work through some shit, and then the anniversary had happened. I’d been doing this for years now, and I just needed to stop it because it wasn’t going to bring it back, and it wasn’t helping anything. With our family growing, though, my loss hit me even harder this year than it had last year. What would life be like if it was here?
I’d avoided relationships for years because of my trust issues and the first woman to make me actually want one was lying with her head on my bed. She’d seen me at my worst…almost, and I’d pushed her away because I wasn’t sure that I could give her what she needed and deserved. Last night at the lake, though, I remember floating and staring at the stars and making plans for us after deciding that I was going to do it and I was going to treat her like a queen. I knew I wouldn’t change overnight, but I’d thought about it hard, and I wanted this with Ebru. I couldn’t imagine not being with her, so I needed to change because she deserved nothing but the best and I’d been an asshole to her so many times. Would she even give me a chance?
I went to move my hand to stroke her hair, and maybe give my ass a scratch because fuck me, but nothing happened.
“What the…” Ebru shot up into a sitting position as I stared at my hands. “Are those socks?” It looked like I had ten pairs of socks on it and they were taped to my arm with a shit ton of tape that almost hit my elbow. Then to add even more insult to injury, they were also taped to the railings of the bed.
“We had to,” Ebru mumbled looking at me warily while reaching over to press the call button on my bed. “You kept scratching, so we put the socks on to stop you doing damage. The Duct Tape was necessary because you kept taking the socks off.”
Providence Series Books 1-4 Page 52