by Tijan
“I have to know, Graham.”
“I know. Just feels wrong to tell you this way.” He took another drink, downing half his beer.
I had yet to touch mine.
“Fine.” His shoulders slumped down. “She’s not had an easy life. Duke fought for custody of her, and he fought nasty. He went deep into our mom’s history, pulling up a history of drug use. And it wasn’t that bad. I mean, it was, but it wasn’t anything current. She had a time in her life when she got dark, and she sought out drugs. That’s when she met Duke. It was a bad couple of years, but she got sorted. She and my dad are happy again and have been for a long time. She lost Quincey, though, and the way the lawyers painted her, it was bad. Real bad. I was young, but I remember when they’d come back from the courthouse some of the times. I just felt empty, like I knew something bad was going to happen. But yeah, I’d imagine he might try that with her. Dig up and air whatever dirty laundry that fucker can.”
“With what? I need to know what ammunition he might use.”
“Him, to be honest. He’s the bad shit in her life, but that’s not how the lawyers will put it. She had an eating disorder for a good while, and I know it’s cliché with the dancing world, but it happened. They might say other things, but I think that was the biggest issue for her for a while. She wasn’t taking care of herself.”
Jesus.
My mouth dried up, thinking about that, thinking about Quincey being in that position. She was full of fight from the moment I met her. She’d only been about the fight.
“But, yeah. It’s him. He’s the root of anything bad she’s been through.”
I sighed on the inside, because damn. That meant a lot of personal hell Quincey was going to go through.
“You think he’ll do that to his own daughter? His only flesh and blood?”
He considered my question, his fingers tightening around his glass. “Yeah, man,” he bit out. “Quincey was always a possession to him. He wouldn’t allow anyone else to have her, and I have a hard time believing he won’t think the same about Nova. In his mind, Nova became his when Valerie put Quincey down as her guardian.” He gave me a hard look. “You’re the card he didn’t plan for, so with you in the deck, I’m not sure what he’ll do. I wouldn’t put it past him to go after Quincey, though. If he got her out of the way, then it’s between him and you.”
I nodded, feeling a heaviness that was always there, but I was just reaffirming what I already knew was coming. “Thanks, Graham.”
He picked up his beer. “Do me a favor?”
“Yeah.”
“I know your group. I know battles aren’t anything new to you guys, but in the process of all this, try not to hurt my sister? And don’t let her know I was the one who told you about her history. We all lost Val, Quincey, too. On the surface it won’t look like we’re grieving, but we are. Each person in our family pushes that shit deep, though we still feel it.”
I nodded. He wasn’t saying anything I didn’t understand. “Not planning on doing either.”
* * *
I waited until the drive back home to call Mason.
He picked up after the first ring. “You hanging in there?”
“Did I wake you up? Can you talk?”
“I’m good. What’d Graham say?”
“I think he’s going to go after Quincey, and I think he’s going to set me up during that process.”
Mason had been kept abreast of everything. He, Logan, and I called each other daily.
There were also texts. Emails. Sometimes a FaceTime was necessary.
Distance aside, it was like we were all still living together, so he knew exactly what and who I was talking about.
A low curse was his response.
“Yeah.” I clenched my jaw because what else could I do? “I really, really want to just annihilate this guy.”
“I know. I’m getting there myself for you. Want me to call up some back channels? I can see if my dad knows any dirty dealings he’s got?”
“What was the mob connection we found in the beginning?”
I asked Mason because he was going to have his own guy do a deep dive into that connection specifically.
“That looked like a line of credit from a family in Canada. It’s been resolved, and it doesn’t look like there’s anything current going on there.”
“But he could reach out to them. That’s an open resource for him.”
“Yeah.”
“Your dad still works with the Red Demons?”
“I’m not sure, but they’re not that far up north. They branched to the Midwest and South, or that’s what Channing told me. And Nate, brother, I’m telling you that Channing does not want to bring that MC back into his life. They are not people you want to be in bed with.”
Channing was another friend from Fallen Crest, except he was from our neighboring town.
There was a lot of history with us all, but suffice it to say that he had connections to the Red Demons through family and his business. No one was saying he wanted to have those connections, but he did. And I’d be a fool not to look at that avenue.
“I’m asking because I’m wondering if they could keep an ear out? See who he might approach to try to set me up, because if he does, it’ll have to be something nasty. Like heavy enough to put me in prison sort of thing.”
I heard his indrawn breath. “I think you’re giving him too much credit.”
“No.” I knew he’d say that, and I knew it sounded like a leap, but my gut was telling me to prepare for the worst. “I don’t think we’ve even turned page one in the book against this guy. I think he’s a whole other sort of monster. Think about it, even the whole radio silent thing he’s playing is another form of warfare. The guy’s a nasty sonofabitch.”
“You want me to call Channing for you?”
Did I? “No. If I want Channing brought in, I’ll call him. You should stay clear.”
“That’s not how this friendship works, my man.”
“It does this time.”
“Dammit, Nate!” he snapped at me. “Don’t do this. You fucking finally reached out and needed me. I was there for you. All the shit you’ve gone through in your life—”
I knew where he was going. I stopped him, my voice low. “Don’t go there, Mase. That’s high school shit. Keep that back there.”
“You were hurting, and I wasn’t pushing you enough to let me in. And I pushed you out when you first came back.”
That was the shit I didn’t want to go over. “You had your own crisis to deal with back then.”
“I know, but… let me help you this time. Please?”
Mason was saying please. That wasn’t the norm, ever.
There’d been a time back in the day when I felt like I lost two families, but things changed.
I’d been an asshole at times, pushing people out, but I changed in college. I righted myself and never looked back. I wasn’t going to let Mason make me look back either.
“Mase.” I gentled my tone. “It’s not about you from back then for me. You know about my brother.”
He was quiet for a moment, then said a ragged, “I get that. I’ll back off.”
“Thanks.” I let out some air, loosening my grip on the wheel. I was driving as if I were in a blizzard with whiteout conditions. “Maybe see what Logan thinks? He might know someone we don’t know up here who could keep an ear out.”
“I will. Who knows what he might come up with? But anything illegal, let’s keep him out of it.”
I started grinning. “Brother, you’re staying out of that, too.”
A dark laugh came from his end. “Who’d think we were in these positions right now? Looking back, Logan and I should’ve been in prison for how many things we pulled? Now you’re the one trying to keep us clean and on the straight and narrow.”
I laughed, but a thought came to me. “Fuck. You don’t think my line is tagged, do you?”
He got quiet. “You gotta make a call to get that figured out.”
/>
“Will do. Signing off now.”
“Keep me updated.”
“I will.”
Shit.
I hadn’t thought of that, of him bugging my line or hell, even the car I was driving.
I should’ve.
Or was I being too paranoid?
Maybe he wasn’t that bad?
No. My gut flared up. I was dead right.
22
Quincey
“So...nothing?”
Ricci was just as dumbfounded as me, but I nodded and shrugged to her question. She called, asking if I wanted to meet up for coffee, so I gave Emily the day off. We went to a local coffee place that had a corner area for kids to play. There were usually only one or two children using it, and today, it was just us with Nova. Nova was having a ball throwing the balls into a little ball pit they had. Total love for balls here.
So far, none had escaped or hit any other coffee-goers, so success.
I was sitting on the floor, Nova standing in front of me, and Ricci was sitting on the chairs kitty-corner from us.
Her mouth gaped before she took a sip of her chai tea. “I can’t believe that. I mean, we were sneaking out like you were an ex-convict.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “How are things with Hottie Patottie?”
I grinned, feeling the back of my neck heating.
Nate was… Nate was a different story.
Her eyes went wide, and she leaned forward. “What? Oh my God. Tell me something happened? Did something happen between you two?”
I wish.
Wait.
Panic seized me. Where did that thought come from? I mean, I knew, but that was not good.
I shook my head. “It’s not like that.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Then why are you all flushed? You only get like this when you’re attracted to someone.” She leaned forward, lowering her voice. “That’s a big deal, Quince. You’re attracted to your baby daddy?”
“He’s not my baby—”
“Yes, he is. The only difference is you didn’t get to test out the goods before he became your baby daddy. And he is feeine.” She leaned back, fanning herself. “Give me the deets. What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing.” And it was true.
Except that Nate was perfect.
And he was an amazing father to Nova.
And he seemed to step into the role almost seamlessly and so smoothly. It was like he’d been her dad this entire time. Basically, the exact opposite of my own father.
Nova had then grabbed a stuffed koala bear and was trying to eat it.
I tried to take it, so she began waving it around instead.
Nope. She wasn’t content with that.
She reared back, and the koala bear sailed clear across the coffee place.
It smacked a lady on the side of her face.
We had our first casualty.
Ricci smothered a laugh but got up and retrieved the bear, murmuring apologies before she came back. “I’m taking that as your little girl wanting something to happen between her new mommy and daddy, too.” She was wiggling her eyebrows as she handed the koala back to Nova.
As she took it and started to do it all over again, I blocked her throw this time, which she loved.
And we had a new game going now.
She was babbling, flapping her arms, and picking up/throwing the koala bear over and over again.
I sighed, then reached out as she started to wobble once. She righted herself, clutching the bear to her for a moment.
“Nothing is going on between Nate and me.”
“And if something did happen?”
My insides were already melting, doing somersaults in glee, but anything happening between us would be bad. Really bad.
“He could have anyone, Ric.” Why me?
“So? What are you saying? He wouldn’t want you, or it shouldn’t be you?”
I mean, why would he want me? Look at all the baggage I’d brought him already.
But I didn’t say that. Instead, I blocked another koala toss and handed the bear back to Nova. “I was so terrified once I knew what I was going to do, going against Duke, but since that first night at Nate’s, it’s been silence from him.”
“And you think anything between you and Nate would...what?”
“It’d just make it all the more complicated.”
I could tell she wasn’t following my thoughts, but she went with my subject change.
She asked, “Has Duke frozen your accounts?”
I looked up, feeling a headache coming. “Yes, the ones where his name was on the account, too.”
Nova went over to Ricci, handing her three balls.
Ricci took them and piled them on the chair beside her.
That meant Nova needed to give her more balls. So she did. I scooted back, giving Nova more room to run so she wouldn’t trip over my leg.
Ricci asked, “You’re good for money? I mean, you told me before you were. Is that still the case?”
I nodded, focusing mostly on Nova. I had no idea why I didn’t want to look at my best friend. “Everything has been…too good.”
“What do you mean?”
Nova started to run, then dropped a ball and bent over. She reached for the ball, but it rolled out of reach. Holding the other two to her chest, she started to follow it, going past Ricci. We both waited, but the ball stopped.
Nova grabbed it and stood upright, wearing a proud smile on her face. She started to turn, a foot went around to step in front of her—and she wobbled.
Ricci darted for her, but I leaned forward and grabbed her.
I was bent forward, my reach beyond my legs. She was far enough away that my face was just above the floor, right next to my toes. As I grabbed Nova and waited for her to steady herself, I turned my face sideways, and because I couldn’t help myself, I raised my other arm for fourth position. I closed my eyes, and for a moment, I was home again.
Then Nova was running again, and I straightened back up, ignoring Ricci’s pointed look.
I knew she meant well for me. Leaving Duke seemed to have no consequences based on what I’d told her, so in her mind, it was time to return to everyday life. And because Nate was being so fantastic, I was given an opportunity to return to my career.
I didn’t know how to explain that it all seemed temporary to me.
I was on shaky ice that looked coated with snow. I knew the foundation under my feet was thin, but someone not walking with me would have no idea. It was a matter of time before it shattered, and I fell through.
“Something’s going to happen, Ric.”
“I know!” Her eyes flared up. She was smiling, not understanding my meaning.
“No.” My tone was flat, and I gave her a look. She saw the warning in me. “I know something bad will happen, and I can’t move forward because I’m just waiting for it.”
She frowned, a dark shadow coming over her face. She straightened back. “Have you talked to Nate about it?”
I shook my head. “I think I’m scared to rattle that cage, too. He might be scared, and then what? Kick me out?” Because he could.
I had to remember that I signed that contract, giving up any fight for Nova.
My throat was starting to burn, and I swallowed, trying to ease it. It only burned even hotter. My chest felt like it was being squished into my body. Something was trying to make my insides cave in on themselves.
“I didn’t get the sense that he scares lightly.”
I glanced over. “What do you mean?”
Nova decided to run out of our corner, but Ricci grabbed her. When she protested and started to squirm out of her hold, Ricci took her hands and began moving them around in a tiny cheer motion. She did it absentmindedly, saying to me, “Your baby daddy hasn’t once wavered. Once he found out about Nova, he was all fight and all fierce the entire time. He didn’t ease up until you moved in. Did you notice that?”
I had. Oh boy, had I. Or my body h
ad but definitely not going there.
So not going there. That’d be bad.
“What about it?”
She kept on, “And the night you moved in, remember how at ease he was? Him, his friend, and his sister? The cops showed up, and nothing happened. They handled it. Normal people would get nervous when the police arrive. Not your guy, not his team. They didn’t bat an eye. I’ve started wondering if you’re the one new to this world, and it’s the one he lives in?”
“What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged, releasing Nova when her attention went back to the ball pit. “I think you should ask Nate what he thinks. Has he said anything to you about what Duke might do next?”
I confessed, “I haven’t been able to bring myself to ask him.”
I’d been too scared he’d realize what he was up against and kick me out.
“Ask him.” She flashed me a smile. “Ask him tonight, with wine. Make sure there’s lots of wine.”
“He gets Nova in the evenings.”
She pffted at that, rolling her eyes. “I have a feeling he’d be just fine if you ‘crashed’ an evening with him and Nova. I think you know that, too.”
But I didn’t.
I didn’t really know anything, except that my father hadn’t once reached out.
And I didn’t know if I was hurt or relieved, or if I should feel any of those emotions?
But maybe she was right. Nate said he’d help against Duke, so it was time to have that conversation with him.
“Oh. She’s going to squawk.”
Ricci was right. Nova’s face was getting red, and she pushed out her butt as she did right before she let loose with a wail. It was time to head back.
23
Quincey
He was shirtless.
Oh God.
Shirtless!
My body was reacting, almost quivering, and I was embarrassed as I came down to the kitchen that night.
Who was this person? I didn’t recognize myself.
Relationships were a struggle as a dancer. At least for me. I found it challenging to be the partner the other person wanted. I didn’t have a lot of time and had even less time when I became a principal dancer. We danced for hours every day, and that wasn’t counting the shows. Sometimes we did two shows a day.