by Tijan
He framed my face, his thumbs rubbing over my cheeks. “I love you, Quincey Royas. I would like you to be Nova’s mother and my wife for the rest of our lives.”
A gargle came out of me.
“Are you proposing to me?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” He was scanning my face, my eyes, falling to my mouth. Lingering on my mouth, he groaned. “I just need you, and I can’t lose you. I love you. I love you so much.”
Warmth burst in me. That throbbing increased. The drumbeat needing to feel him.
“I love you, too, Nathaniel.”
He groaned, grinning. “Only you can call me that. We need to make that clear to everyone else. That’s Quincey’s name.”
I reached up, catching his wrists because he needed to hear this back from me. “You have to know that I love you, too. Everything you said, I’m the same. Nova is my life. I want you to be in there with me, beside me. I want to love you, and take care of you, and protect you. And I will. I promise. Side by side, Nate.”
“Nathaniel.”
“Side by side, Nathaniel.”
He nodded. “I’m really sorry for taking this long to tell you.”
I closed my eyes, resting my forehead on his. “I’m sorry for not believing you could love me.”
“That’s over.” He tipped my head back up so I could see him. His thumbs returned to my mouth, moving under my bottom lip. “Can I unofficially propose to you now?”
Fireworks were going off in me. Sparklers, too.
I smiled at him, feeling light-headed. “What does that mean?”
“That you’ll be my partner for life and my partner in helping raise Nova? That we can have more babies? That you’ll marry me? And that I’ll propose officially later with a ring and probably your whole family and mine to be there because that’s kinda a thing with my group?”
I was nodding even before he finished. “Yes, yes, and yes. Yes to all of that.”
“Yeah?” His eyes darkened, falling to my lips.
“Yeah,” I whispered right before his mouth found mine.
There was a clicking sound.
I heard it. I felt it, and I knew what it was.
I was complete. Everything was how it should be.
Everything was right.
I had found my family, but so had Nate Nathaniel.
* * *
This was why, Q. He’s always been yours.
Epilogue
We celebrated Nova’s second birthday privately.
That was due to a couple of reasons. One was because of my very recent stay at the hospital and my injuries. The other reason, because this was our first birthday as a family. We wanted it private and almost sacred because that was how we felt. Nova was a miracle for both Nate and me. Having said that, we went all out.
Cupcakes.
Blow-up penguins.
Stuffed sloths in many sizes.
Nate ran in wearing a blow-up T-Rex costume, which was Nova’s latest obsession.
There were rainbow balloons everywhere.
Confetti thrown in the air.
The whole thing was just for the three of us.
The following month, we went all out again once my injuries were fine and the doc gave us the go-ahead to travel.
Nate decided it was time we went to Fallen Crest. I met his parents, who I’d been nervous about meeting, but was surprised. His mom gave me a hippie vibe, which Nate said was a part of her new transition in life. His father was reserved but warm. Both parents were transfixed with Nova. They were almost literally wrapped around her finger from the start.
His mom wouldn’t stop holding Nova’s little finger. She followed her everywhere, and Nova enjoyed telling her grandmother everything they encountered in the house. His dad, who was Gah-pa, sat on the couch with her in the evenings. She crawled all over him, plopping in his lap, crawling around his neck, trying to sit on top of his head a few times. I was pretty certain Nova was attempting to impersonate a cat, and by the time we left their house, it wasn’t their house. It was Nova’s house. Stuffed animals were in every single room, piled up in the corner and placed in baskets. I finally met Miss Sandy, and she fell in love with Nova as well. This was becoming the norm.
Meet Nova.
Love Nova.
You are now owned by Nova.
It was the pattern.
Miss Sandy fussed over Nova, getting her food ready for her. She would’ve done everything for her, if I had allowed it, but I was firm. Bathtime was my time—well, mine and Nate’s.
After Fallen Crest, we went to Boston.
Nate had shared a house with Logan, so we stayed there, but there was a lot of time spent at Samantha and Mason’s home. There were many story nights and laughter. Lots of laughter. Nova loved Maddie, Sam and Mason’s eldest, who was practicing her babysitting skills. She did magnificently, and both Mason and Logan commented this was a new side to Maddie. She was very gentle with Nova. Sam explained that Maddie was not usually gentle. She was the personification of her father and her uncle in a little girl’s body. Everyone laughed at that description.
“Have you and Nate talked about the future at all?” Sam asked me as we went on a walk one of those evenings. It was just the two of us and a German Shepherd they’d recently rescued. Sam introduced her as Gagely, who was pulling on the leash, trying to memorize every smell in the world.
I shook my head. “We talked about it in terms of where we’re a family. We know that, and I know he misses being here with you guys.”
She cast me a look, Gagely still pulling on the leash. She made a tsking sound, and Gagely reacted, falling in line next to her side. “I have a feeling that Logan is going to move wherever you and Nate settle down.”
“Really?”
She went back to watching their dog, who looked in love with Samantha. I couldn’t read her expression. She had closed down a bit after sharing that.
I felt a pang.
I didn’t want to pull Logan away from these two, but I also knew Nate and I would do what we needed to do for our family. I wasn’t dancing at the moment, and I hadn’t made a decision about what I wanted for the future.
I thought I’d miss dancing, but I was surprised at how much I didn’t. I was content at the moment.
As for Nate, he had investments all over. He could travel, or he could not. But my family was in Seattle, and there’d been growth that I didn’t want to halt by moving away.
Calihan was coming to terms with me being in the family more, though that was heeded dramatically and a lot quicker because Nova was attached with me. As for Stephanie and me, that was a mixed bag. I knew there was a lot of emotional work I needed to do because my relationship with my mother wasn’t an easy one. It was filled with so many thorns put in place by Duke, and while I felt guilty about that and so much shame, I also needed to realize that I couldn’t blame myself for what my father did. But she and I would be good, and it was starting, and I was excited. It was a new feeling for me, letting my mother love me and realizing that love had always been there, just waiting for me.
I blinked a few tears away, thinking about it now.
I shared with Samantha, “I think I need to be in Seattle for a while. There’s a lot of healing that is just starting.”
She looked over, studying me for a moment in silence before saying softly, “I’m gathering that.” A beat later, she continued, “Mason’s contract is up for negotiations not long from now.”
Now it was my turn to look over at her, studying her in silence.
She seemed thoughtful, her eyes looking in the distance.
I had to wonder what thoughts she was mulling over because the air around us shifted, growing more somber.
I almost wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t. It didn’t feel like a bad sort of somberness.
“Everything works out in the end.”
I glanced over again, hearing her light words, and a second later, she smiled to herself.
The topic was d
ropped after that, and we discussed the rest of our trip. When we got back to their house, Logan and Taylor had arrived, and Taylor came out holding Nova, which I wasn’t surprised.
“Mama!” Nova shouted, struggling to be put down.
Taylor knelt, and Nova ran to me, her legs and arms pumping.
I scooped her up, my heart bursting.
“Mama.” She wound her arms around me, pressing a very wet kiss to my neck and cheek, and the struggling commenced. She had to be put down so she could greet Gagely first and then Samantha. She returned to give me a hug before going back to Taylor.
The three of us went into the house, Gagely leading the way and making a beeline toward wherever I was assuming the guys were.
“Logan was thinking we’d do pizza for dinner?” She nodded to their backyard. “The weather is so nice. He wanted to use your pizza firepit outside.”
“Oh, yeah. That sounds great and delicious.”
“Taylor, you okay with Nova?”
The question was almost moot because my little girl was wrapped around Taylor’s leg.
Taylor laughed. “Always! She’s been going to Maddie, Mason, and me with a trip every now and then to check in with Dad.”
“She’s not shy, that’s for sure.”
I headed to our room, and Nate came in a few minutes later.
“How was the walk?”
I stepped out of the bathroom, yawning. “It was good.” But I frowned. “Sam made a comment about Mason’s contract coming up for negotiations soon.”
He froze. “She did?”
I nodded. “Do you know what that’s about?”
He opened his mouth, blinked a few more times, and shut it. “No. I don’t. I mean… no. I don’t think...I don’t think so.”
Then he saw I was in the process of changing, and his eyes darkened. “Were you going to take a shower?”
I grinned, feeling my heartbeat pick up. “Maybe. Taylor’s watching Nova.”
His answering grin decided for me, then he reached out and locked the door.
I was hustled into the shower the next instant, and it was a good while before we joined the rest.
* * *
It was later that night when I rolled toward Nate. “Do you miss living here?”
He threw me a surprised look, but both of us glanced at Nova. She was curled up, clutching her blanket and her penguin, and her soft snores filled the room. She’d been sleeping heavy lately, but Nate got up and turned up the volume on the noise machine just to be safe.
He came back to bed, sliding under the covers, and scooped me up. He pulled me to lay on top of him, and I rested my head on his shoulder, turned toward his face. He glanced at me, his voice coming out in a hushed tone. “Yes.”
My hand spasmed on his chest.
He noted it before looking back at my face. His hand covered mine, lacing our fingers together. He shifted, one of his legs wrapping around mine. “I don’t think that’s the question you’re really asking, though. What’s going on in your head?”
“I need to stay in Seattle.” My heart twisted. “I think I’m going to reach out to Dierek and tell him I’m done with dancing. Matthew talked to me about a dance student in Seattle a while ago. She’s doing graduate work in dance therapy. I might reach out to her and see if that’s something I could do, too.”
“You’d like that?”
I nodded, resting my cheek on his shoulder. “I have a lot to heal from because of my dad. It might be cathartic for me. I don’t want to dance anymore, not in productions. I think I haven’t for a while. I think this is my next step.” I looked up again, remembering why I brought this up in the first place. “I’m sorry.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why are you apologizing about that? It’s what you need right now.”
I lifted my head up a little. “What?”
“I’ve always known you needed to stay in Seattle.” He gave his head a slight shake. “I mean, I didn’t really think about it until the past couple of months, but it makes sense. I stayed in the beginning because I didn’t want to take Nova away from what and who was familiar to her, but you need to be there for your family.”
“You’re okay with that?”
He nodded. “Of course.” He moved, bringing his free hand to my face and tracing his thumb down the side of my cheek, sending sensations trailing it. Good sensations. Loving sensations. He cupped the side of my face, his thumb moving over my other cheek in a warm caress. “I’ve gone through my shit. When you and Nova came into my life, I was restless. I needed a purpose, or I was looking for more of a purpose. Logan’s got Taylor, Mason has his family, and Matteo is good with his career. My sister’s happy. Things were good, but I wasn’t complete. Not totally.” His eyes pierced mine. “Then you and Nova came, and you guys complete me.”
My heart was skipping all over my chest. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, his eyes warming and moving over my face. His thumb went to my mouth, running over my lips in a tender motion. “I love you so much. It’s hard to remember what life was like before you. I was a different person then. I am a different man now, and I personally really like who I am now. That’s because of you and Nova.”
Oh. Gah.
I was melting all over, and my throat was trembling. “I love you, too.”
He nodded, a cocky grin coming over him now. “I know.”
I laughed.
He sobered. “The reason I said that is because this is your time to heal, and you’re just starting. Valerie gave me you. I don’t know the reason she didn’t tell me about Nova. I think we can only speculate, but a part of me feels that everything happened how it was supposed to happen. I’ve always felt that she wanted me to come in and love you how I do, that maybe she knew you were mine from the start. But we’ll never know.”
A tingling sensation went over my body, filling me up, spreading through all of my limbs. It was love, but something else, something deep and connecting. I laid my head down on his chest, just enjoying the feeling.
“She liked lilacs.”
He stilled underneath me.
I added, “She liked the smell of them, and they were her favorite flowers.”
Both his arms moved around me, holding me tightly against him. “Then we’ll make sure to keep them around the house.”
I nodded. “I love you, Nathaniel.”
He swept some of my hair aside on my forehead before lifting his head and pressing a kiss there. “I love you, too.”
* * *
Nova’s third birthday party was attended by everyone!
Literally, everyone.
Ricci. Emily. Matthew even.
Nate’s parents. My parents, who were now Stephanie and Guy. Calihan. Graham and Britney. All of Nate’s friends. Mason, Samantha, and their children. Logan, Taylor, and their two dogs now. Matteo and Grace. Heather and Channing, and their children. Aspen and Blaise, who made a call and there was a whole group of people who came with them. One looked remarkably like Blaise, and the others knew Heather and Channing very well. A guy followed Mason around the house. It was funny at times and uncomfortable at other times. I wasn’t sure who everyone was in that group, but Nova seemed taken with Blaise. Taylor and Mason were still her favorites among everyone, but Aspen’s husband was competing for the top spot. The ruling was still out—well, except for Grandma Stephanie and Grandpa Guy. They had the top spot over everyone.
There were balloons. Giraffes (blow-up giraffes). Flamingo lawn decorations all over. Our entire backyard was transformed into a petting zoo. There was a snow-cone cart. A chocolate chip cookie baking area. Cotton candy. A whole section for goats, sheep, kittens, ponies, and puppies to be petted. Some sheep, too, and a cow.
Nova loved the cow the most.
We had lilacs everywhere, though that was common for our house. When our lilacs started to die, I bought fresh ones to replace them. There wasn’t a day in the past year when we didn’t have lilacs, and I swore to keep with that tradition
, no matter the expense. Nova knew what they signified, and she often pointed at them, saying, “My other mama.” She’d smile at them, blink her eyes, and then take off running for the next task for her to tackle whether that was pretend or just greeting someone. Whatever it was, she tackled it with a zest for life.
We were nearing the end of the afternoon when a microphone was brought out.
Nate grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to our patio. He stepped up, keeping me with him, and Logan brought over the mic. He winked at me. “Nice knowing you.”
“What?” I stiffened as he bypassed me, finding Taylor and throwing his arm around her shoulders.
Nate growled. “Ignore him. Goddamn thinks he’s so funny.”
I relaxed, recognizing the undertones Nate had for Logan. This one was an annoying fondness mixed with laughter. Decoded, it meant he was annoyed by Logan but thought it was funny at the same time.
“Hi, everyone. First, thank you for coming. I’m not going to make my daughter come over here. She looks permanently glued to that cow, and I’m now wondering why we have a cow in our backyard?”
There was a smattering of laughter.
My mom raised her hand up, who was standing next to Nova and the cow. “Her name is Milly. Nova just informed me.”
“Right.” He called out, raising his voice, “Thank you, Nova’s grandmother.”
She gave us a thumbs-up, beaming the whole time. Guy was next to her, also beaming. Nate’s parents were right next to them. All four grandparents hadn’t moved far from Nova the whole day, actually, but Nate’s body tensed and my attention came back to him.
I frowned. What was going on?
His face was tight, his jaw clenched.
He looked nervous.
He glanced at Logan and Mason before swinging his eyes to me. He softened, everything in him relaxing, and he gave me the most tender smile. I almost gasped, feeling moved. He squeezed my hand, and he turned to me, still holding the microphone.
“I never thought I would do this, this way. Competing with a cow for my daughter’s attention, or even in front of a crowd, but I love you, Quincey Royas.”