When he was gone, the air felt lighter, making it easier to breathe. For the longest time, she leaned against the closed door. In such a short time span, how could so much go wrong? That morning, her only worry had been a sniffle and an insane caseload. Now, her whole world stood on the verge of falling apart.
“What are you doing?”
Daisy glanced up to find her son staring.
“Honestly,” she said, busying flighty hands by straightening what was surely disheveled hair, “I’m taking a time-out.”
“Why did you lie to me about my dad?”
Her son’s question deserved a well-thought-out answer, but she didn’t have one. “Come here,” she said, hand on his back, leading him to the sofa. “I was really young when I got pregnant with you. I got scared and ran away. After a while I made a new life for you and me, and it seemed easier to forget the past.” She took a deep breath. “But I know how selfish that was. Can you forgive me, Kolt?”
Her son stared at her with eyes so much like Luke’s. “I guess.” He turned away, then added, “He looks like me.”
“I’ve always thought so,” Daisy admitted. “So many times I wanted to tell you all of this, but remember when you accidently broke my favorite crystal vase, and were afraid to tell me?”
He nodded.
“That’s how I’ve felt about your father, only on a much bigger scale. When he came here today, I was just as surprised as you. But now that you two know about each other, aren’t you curious about what he’s like?”
Shrugging, Kolt said, “I guess. Is he always so grouchy?”
A wistful smile tugging her lips, Daisy reminisced, “Luke was always the most kind and gentle person I knew. That’s why I loved him. He made everything that scared me seem not so bad.”
“Do you still love him?”
What a question. “No. But when we made you, I thought he was the most amazing guy on the planet.”
“Eeeuw.” He made a face. “Does that mean you did it with him?”
Refusing even to respond to a birds-and-bees question from her ten-year-old, Daisy held out her hand. “Come on. Somewhere high up in my closet are pictures I’d like you to see.”
Photos Daisy had carefully avoided for so long.
She had a hard enough time dealing with remembered images of her former life, but in time, those had grown fuzzy. To hold smiling snapshots of all she held dear would be excruciating. Her mom, grinning in her garden. Her favorite brother, Cash, hamming it up with GQ poses. Dallas and her father, the stoic ones of the Buckhorn clan. Never overtly demonstrative, but both with hearts of pure gold. Wyatt, rarely seen without a football or pretty girl. And then there were shots of Luke. Handsome, funny, sweet. His grins took her breath away. His kisses filled her with hope and wonder and dizzying pleasure she hadn’t even tried finding again. Why should she, when she deep-down knew such perfection could no longer exist.
Chapter Three
“For the hundredth time, I’m sorry.”
Luke glanced over the rim of the black coffee he’d been nursing to see Daisy flash a half smile. It ought to be a crime for a woman to be so gorgeous. Made it damn near impossible for a man to think.
“You wanted to talk,” she persisted, “so here I am.”
“Not that simple.”
Sighing, she said, “This is one of Kolt’s favorite places. Look—” She pointed out their tableside window. “See the sea lions? Kolt gets a kick out of watching them.”
“I’ll bet.” What else did their son like to do that Luke had no idea about? He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the notion that even though Kolt was his blood, they were strangers with nothing in common. Case in point, something about eating eggs over crashing bay water, high up on a rickety pier had Luke on edge. He was a land man through and through. Yet his son apparently loved the water.
“I thought about bringing him, but he seemed to be feeling so much better that I sent him to day camp. Besides which,” she toyed with the tea tag still hanging from her mug, “the last thing he needs is more arguing. I’d like for us to present a united front.”
Slathering butter on a fussy croissant when he’d have preferred a buttermilk biscuit, Luke snorted. “Haven’t we already been over the fact that I don’t give a damn what you’d like? When it comes to our son, of course, I only want what’s best for him and I find it downright insulting you’d imply otherwise. In fact—” His cell rang. Removing it from his back pocket, he checked the number. “Dallas. Want to talk?”
She vigorously shook her head.
“You’re going to have to face him sooner or later.”
“I prefer later.”
Rolling his eyes, he answered, “Hey.”
In usual Dallas style, Daisy’s brother barked louder than the sea lions. “You actually found her? Is she at that address? If so, Mom and I will be on the next plane out.”
“Whoa,” Luke said, hating that he was now firmly in the middle of an ungodly mess. “Like I said in my text last night, it’s complicated. Daisy’s not quite ready for company.”
“Company, hell!” Dallas roared loud enough for Daisy to wince. “We’re family. We deserve an explanation for what made her sneak off like a two-bit floozy in the night.”
“Agreed. But there’s a lot going on here I didn’t expect to find.”
“Like what? Is she married with kids? Our flying out there isn’t a problem.”
Eyeing Daisy, Luke said, “I’m pretty sure she’d rather come to you.”
She nodded.
“She say as much?”
“Yeah.” Luke rubbed his whisker-stubbled jaw.
“Wouldn’t happen to be with her now, would you?”
“No.” Luke hated lying. Always had. Occasionally it was a necessary evil. For Kolt’s sake, Luke wanted to ease his boy into meeting the rest of his family. If the entire Buckhorn clan showed up at his front door, it could be overwhelming.
“Planning on seeing her before you head back?”
“Yeah.”
“Kindly tell her she has twenty-four hours to get her butt to this ranch, or—”
Daisy snapped, “Give me the phone.”
Sure? Luke mouthed.
Ignoring him, she lunged for it. “Dallas Buckhorn, your blow-and-go routine won’t work on me. I’m sorry for what I did to all of you—truly, I am. But I’ll be back in my own time.” She paused to listen, tears pooling her eyes. “I know. Please tell Mom I love her and promise to be home soon.” After a few more minutes’ conversation, she hung up only to run off to the bathroom.
It took everything Luke had in him not to chase her.
But why should he? The amount of emotional baggage between them could fill this swanky place clear to the rafters.
Sighing, he propped his elbows on the table, staring out at the unnatural view. If God had meant for folks to eat breakfast over water, He’d have given them webbed feet. Still, he supposed the bay was all right to look at in its own sort of way. It seemed restless. Like he felt.
A few minutes later, Daisy returned looking composed.
“All right?” he asked more because of his upbringing than because he cared. His mother had raised him to be a gentleman, and as such, he never could stand to see a woman cry—even if this particular woman had some sorrow coming.
“Good as can be expected,” she said with a shrug. “Hearing my brother’s voice twisted me up inside. I wasn’t prepared for the rush of feelings it brought on. Reminded me how badly I miss my family—even Dallas. He and I were never close.”
“Cash speaks of you often.” Luke nabbed a piece of bacon. “Mostly about the good times. Misses you something fierce.”
“I miss him, too. Maybe because we’re closest in age, but he’s secretly my favorite.”
Luke smiled. “That boy’s straight up full of himself.”
“Still handsome?”
Just as much as you are pretty. The way a fog had rolled in, softening the sunlight on her hair, tightened his stomach. He
hated the part of himself that had never quite gotten over her. “He’s all right. But as a man, I’m not really into his type.”
“Sure, sure. You don’t have to hide your attraction from me.” Her unexpected smile was his undoing. Oh—he had an attraction all right, but for the lone female of the Buckhorn siblings.
“All kidding aside, what’s your plan? Because if you and I don’t reach a peaceable custody agreement, I don’t have a problem with it getting ugly. I’ve already missed ten years with my son and I refuse to miss a minute more.”
“I understand.” She paled, only this time it had nothing to do with the ever-increasing fog. “I’ll need to speak with my boss. Clear my schedule. Also, I think it would be best if initially, I meet up with my family without Kolt. I want them prepared so that meeting him doesn’t come as quite such a shock.”
“Agreed.”
While hammering out more details, it occurred to Luke that Daisy Buckhorn was still to this day the best-looking woman he’d ever seen. Good thing he wasn’t in the market for romance. More times than he could count, he’d been burned. He gave his heart too easily, only to have it handed back. Why? Females claimed he was incapable of trust—a fact for which he had Daisy to thank. Ironic, seeing how his job largely depended on him gaining an animal’s trust. Too bad for him women and horses didn’t have all that much in common.
“I WAS SO SCARED I’d never see you again.”
“I’m sorry,” Daisy said, hugging her mother while they both cried in the entry hall of the home where she’d grown up. Georgina Buckhorn used the same orange blossom-scented lotion she always had, and, for Daisy, memories of being sweetly tucked into her bed and rocked through every scraped knee were overwhelming. Trembling, she ingested the full burden of what she had done. In escaping Henry, she’d virtually thrown away everyone she’d ever loved. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You should’ve damn well talked to us,” Dallas said, next in line to crush her with a hug. “We’re family. There’s nothing we couldn’t have worked our way through—especially something as blessed as you having Luke’s baby.”
Daisy prayed that by the time she left Weed Gulch, she’d have found the courage to tell her brother—along with the rest of her family—the true reason she’d run.
“Lord, I missed you,” Cash said when it was his turn for a hug. “And damned if you aren’t as pretty as I am handsome.” The comment was typical Cash and caused a much-needed release of tension.
“Hey, squirt.” Wyatt held her tight. “You think just because you’re all grown-up you can bust into the Boys’ Only tree house, think again.” His tears gave him away as being a big softy. Some of her earliest memories were of begging Wyatt to let her into whatever his latest club might be. He’d usually torture her with tickling, only to grant her entry eventually.
On the fringe of her family stood strangers to whom she was now related by marriage. Dallas introduced her to his twins, Bonnie and Betsy. More guilt weighed on Daisy with the realization that she should’ve been there for Dallas when he’d lost his first love, Bobbie Jo.
“Nice to meet you,” Bonnie said. “Did you bring presents?”
“Bonnie!” Dallas scolded.
“It’s okay, Daddy,” Betsy said, “I wanna know, too.”
Daisy laughed through more tears. “I’m sorry, but I forgot your gifts. Next time I’m here though, we’ll skip all of this hugging and go straight to opening presents. Deal?”
Bonnie ambushed her with a surprise hug. “I like you.”
Returning the child’s embrace, missing her son, Daisy said, “I like you, too. Let’s be great friends.”
“What about me?” Betsy asked.
“You’re going to be my great friend, too.” Hugging both girls, Daisy couldn’t help but hope the girls would also grow close to their cousin, Kolt. He might be older than them, but he was still a little kid at heart.
“And this,” Dallas said, his arm around the shoulders of a pretty redhead who held an infant swaddled in pink, “is my wife, Josie, and our daughter, Mabel.”
“She’s precious,” Daisy cooed to the baby. “You, too,” she said to her sister-in-law. “I was always so sick of being the only girl. Nice to know I’ll now have company.”
“Then I hope we’ll be friends, too,” a brunette said, Cash alongside her with his arm resting low on her hips. “My name’s Wren, and we also have a baby. Her name is Robin, but she has a cold so we left her home with her sitter.”
“Nice meeting you,” Daisy said, overwhelmed by not only how her family had grown, but by the outpouring of affection. Would they still be so welcoming once she told them her news? “I hope your baby feels better soon. Sick kiddos are never fun.”
“If you don’t mind my asking,” Wren probed, “why didn’t you bring your son?”
“Um, I wanted his first meeting with all of you to be unfettered. With so much time having passed, I have a lot to discuss that I don’t particularly want him to hear.” Dallas loved Henry like a second father—as did all of her brothers. There was no telling how they’d react to Daisy’s confession. The last thing she wanted was for Kolt to be present when that awful, inevitable conversation finally took place.
“Fair enough,” Wren said.
“Who’s hungry?” Georgina asked. “I’ve got enough ham and trimmings ready to be set out on the dining-room table to feed a small army.”
“Good thing,” Wyatt said, trailing after her. “That’s just about how many folks we have.”
WITH THE SETTING SUN spilling gold into the ranch home’s living room, family all around her and her mother’s apple pie still warming her belly, Daisy should’ve been content. Instead, while her brothers and sisters-in-law helped clean the kitchen, she sat ramrod-straight on the sofa, fidgeting with her only ring. An emerald she’d bought for herself after passing the bar exam. Always having been a huge Wizard of Oz fan, the stone reminded her that while there’s no place like home, Dorothy had gained her true strength in the journey, not the end result. Daisy had weathered many storms to return her to this place. But she still had a couple to go.
First, she needed to find the courage to expose Henry. Second, she’d return and introduce her son.
Two huge obstacles that at the moment felt insurmountable.
“Your family seems pretty happy about meeting Kolt,” Luke said. “I just don’t understand why you ran off. Hell, you’d already graduated. It’s not like half the kids we went to high school with weren’t already headed for the altar.” Luke sat next to her, and their thighs brushed, flooding her with awareness. His radiant heat combined with guilt, making her chest ache from the effort to breathe.
Nodding, she said, “I know. And I’d really appreciate you not reminding me every five minutes what an awful person I am.”
“For what you’ve done to me—our son—you’ve got a lot more than a little chastising to contend with. My family’s itching to lash into you. It’ll be a good time.” His speech ended with a condescending pat to her knee.
She hated him, so why did she feel each of his fingertips scorch through to her skin? She’d underestimated her former feelings for Luke. At a time when her whole world had been falling apart, he’d been her only solid ground. Now, when yet again her life had turned upside down, a long-buried part of her instinctively longed to turn to him for comfort and support—stupid, considering he grabbed every opportunity to bring her down.
You think you don’t deserve it?
It didn’t seem possible that only a short while earlier, she’d been a strong, confident woman, yet now her every doubt and insecurity had resurfaced. Each time someone entered the room, she feared facing Henry. Where was he lurking? Yes, keeping Kolt from Luke had been the worst of Daisy’s many bad decisions, but if Luke knew her true reason for escaping Weed Gulch, would he be any more sympathetic?
“You don’t have to stay,” she said quietly, not wanting to wake the twins who’d crash
ed on the sofa opposite the one she and Luke shared. “In fact, I’m not sure why you chose to come at all.”
“Simple. I trust you about as much as my old farm truck that has three hundred thousand miles.” Nudging her shoulder, he added with a mean-spirited wink, “Only you’ve got less body damage.”
Rising, she said, “Please, go. This reunion is hard enough, without—”
Also on his feet, meeting her stare from a perilously close position, he whispered, “Good. You stole my heart and then my son. I want you to feel every ounce of the hell you’ve put me through. I want you to hurt, Daisy Buckhorn. And just when you might feel better, I want to drag you down again.”
Why, why, when Luke’s speech should have incensed her, did Daisy recognize the scent of his breath? She’d once loved him more than she’d thought it possible to love someone—at least until a maternity-ward nurse had settled Kolt into her arms.
“There aren’t enough words to describe how I detest you. How you’ve built this fabulous life for yourself without so much as a thought for everyone you left behind.”
Silent tears streaming down her cheeks, Daisy hugged her arms over her chest. Nodding, she internalized his every critical word, negating years of supposedly successful therapy in mere seconds. Once again she was a little girl, hiding from a monster, begging to a nonexistent God for Henry not to touch her.
“Don’t cry,” Luke said. “All the tears in the world aren’t going to change what I think of you.”
“I—I know. And I—I don’t blame you for hating me.” I hate myself for ever letting that filthy old man near me. Most especially she hated still being afraid to share her darkest secret with the sole person she’d always been able to trust.
“I’VE MISSED THIS,” Daisy said to her mom Sunday morning while helping her roll out biscuit dough. “I feel like I can never apologize enough.” Eyes again filling with tears, she walked into her mother’s embrace.
“I’m the one who should be saying sorry. The fact you felt you couldn’t come to me when you found out you were pregnant means volumes. As your mother, I should’ve known.”
A Cowgirl's Secret (The Buckhorn Ranch Book 3) Page 3