by DJ Jamison
It wasn’t much fabric to cover his ass. But that was sort of the point.
He set it down and tugged his shirt over his head, then got to work on his jeans while he kicked off his shoes. Ready or not, he was doing this.
It was time to leap and trust that Rory would catch him.
In his heart, Avery knew he would. Otherwise, he’d never be able to jump in the first place.
Avery cleared his throat, and Rory turned toward the hall entryway, expecting to see him holding a gift. But Avery was the gift.
Rory’s mouth went dry as his gaze roved over his lace- and silk-wrapped present. Avery wore a baby blue, filmy thigh-length robe open over black lace panties clearly designed for men, a little extra room in front for Avery’s cock. His powerful legs were encased in black stockings, connected to the panties with a ruffled blue garter belt. His chest was bare, and somehow, all the elements worked together to present a balance image of strength and beauty.
“Well?” Avery said, his voice nervous. “Do I pull this off, or is it too much?”
Rory tore his gaze from Avery’s body to meet his pale blue eyes. He realized Avery had added just a touch of eyeliner and gloss. “You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Avery’s brow creased, and he glanced down at himself, as if trying to see what Rory did. “Really?”
“Really,” Rory said firmly, crossing the room. He cupped Avery’s face, staring into his eyes. “This is an amazing gift, Avery. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
Avery closed his eyes, as if he couldn’t handle the eye contact. He could see that Avery struggled to accept his words. Struck with sudden inspiration, he turned Avery by the shoulders. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”
Avery led the way, and Rory followed, his eyes drinking in the perfect ass cupped by the revealing briefs barely hidden by the gauzy robe. He could definitely get used to seeing Avery like this more often. Hell yes, he was as gorgeous in frilly, sensuous lingerie as Rory had imagined.
Once in the bedroom, Avery started toward the bed, no doubt expecting sex to ensue. Rory had other plans first. He’d told Avery how he saw him, but now it was time to show him.
He stopped before a floor-length mirror on the closet door and extended a hand. “Come here.”
Avery hesitated, eyes flicking to the mirror, but he took Rory’s hand. Rory guided Avery in front of him, dead center before the mirror’s reflection. Rory was tall enough to look over Avery’s shoulder, and he met his eyes in the mirror. “I want you to see what I see. Look at yourself.”
Avery rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen myself.”
“Sure, you’ve seen yourself as a guy who’s getting dressed or doing his hair. But I want you to see yourself the way I do.” Rory placed his hands on Avery’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “I want you to see these broad shoulders, which look both softened but also stronger in this gauzy fabric. Look. Do you see what I mean?”
Avery’s gaze drifted to his body. He chewed his bottom lip. “I guess so,” he said reluctantly.
Not good enough.
Rory slipped his hands down, parting the robe to reveal more of Avery’s chest. He let his thumbs drift over Avery’s nipples as he did and felt the hitch in Avery’s breathing as he watched Rory’s movements in the mirror. “See how pretty this color looks against your skin? You’re so smooth, Avery.” Rory circled his thumbs around Avery’s nipples twice more, watching them harden. “But it also reveals such a strong body, doesn’t it? It doesn’t take away from your strength at all; it highlights it.”
Avery’s chest was rising and falling faster now.
“Don’t you agree?”
“I like how it feels on me,” Avery said cautiously. He wasn’t quite ready to embrace what Rory was saying, but that was okay. He was thinking positively, at least. “It’s so soft against my skin, and it makes me feel…”
“What, Avery? What do you feel when you wear this?”
“Complete.”
“Why, Avery? Why do you feel complete in this?”
“Because…this is the real me,” he whispered. “It’s just clothes, though. I-I don’t understand…”
Rory slid his hands down Avery’s stomach, feeling the clench and tremble of abdominal muscles as his light touch tickled Avery’s treasure trail of hair. He kept himself manscaped and then some, but Rory loved the dark hair pointing the way to hedonistic treasure. He settled his hands on Avery’s waist, framing his lacy briefs. Judging by the bulge, Avery was partially hard despite the turmoil within him.
“They’re not just clothes,” Rory murmured. “They’re how you show yourself to the world.”
Avery scoffed. “I can’t present myself in lace panties.”
“Hmm, no. But it’s not just the lingerie, is it? You’ve trapped yourself in bland clothes to fit a bland exterior to fit a bland world. But you’re not bland, Avery. You’re vibrant color and varied textures. Showing that doesn’t mean you’re not manly enough. It means you’re man enough to be who you want to be, regardless of what the world says to you.”
“You’ve always been so good with words,” Avery murmured, but his eyes were locked on his body, roving up and down. He laughed nervously. “Never thought you’d get on the soapbox for me. I’m rich, and spoiled, and entitled. I don’t deserve any pretty speeches.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Rory said, feeling frustration mount. He’d contributed to this viewpoint of Avery’s, that he was too privileged to feel pain. “Your experience and your struggle are your own. Yes, you’re privileged. Incredibly, in some ways. In others, not so much. Your privilege doesn’t negate the damage your father has done.”
Avery tensed a little. “He doesn’t even know about this.”
“For good reason, right?”
“Right,” Avery whispered.
Rory let go of Avery to draw off this robe, leaving him in nothing but panties, garters, and stockings. “This is you, Avery. One facet of you, anyway, and I’m really happy you’ve shared it with me. I find the contrast of pretty fabrics and your hard body to be incredibly beautiful.”
Rory lowered himself to his knees behind Avery.
“What are you doing?” Avery asked, sounding nervous again.
Rory ran his hands up Avery’s long legs to his ass, squeezing. “Bend forward. Hands on the mirror. I’m going to light you up, and I want you to watch every moment.”
He unhooked Avery’s garters, then tugged the panties to the side, licking a line between his cheeks.
“Oh, fuck,” Avery groaned, collapsing forward with his hands braced on the mirror.
Rory glanced around his waist to see his eyes drifting closed. “Watch,” he ordered. “Look at this sexy man. There’s nothing at all to be ashamed of between us, is there?”
“No,” Avery said quietly.
“Then watch, and realize that there’s nothing wrong with you, or me, or this. We’re sharing something here, and—”
“Fuck, I love you,” Avery blurted. His eyes flew wide, color rushing into his face. “Oh, God, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.”
“No, you’re about to eat my ass and I’m confessing love. It’s ridiculous.”
Rory laughed, raising up on his knees to hug Avery around the waist. He pressed his lips to one hip and said, “I’ll take your love confession anytime, anywhere.” He glanced up at Avery’s still mortified expression. “As long as you mean it?”
Avery bit his bottom lip, his nervous tell. He nodded once, swallowing hard, looking down. As beautiful as he was with his eyelashes brushing his cheeks, lips still glossy, Rory wanted to look into his eyes.
“Look at me, please.”
Avery opened eyes filled with pleading. When they made eye contact, all the love Rory felt rushed through his body, making him feel lightheaded.
“I love you too,” Rory said. “I love everything about you. I don’t care that you grew up rich, or that you’re a wealthy businessman. I don’t care that y
our father is pushing politics I hate. Because you, Avery, are everything to me. You’re stronger than you think, and you’re fighting so hard to have the life you deserve, and I just hope…that life will always include me.”
Avery gasped a shuddery breath, and Rory came to his feet to kiss him. “You’re amazing,” Rory murmured against his lips. “This is the best gift you could ever give me.”
Avery clung to him, so tightly it almost hurt. “You make me want to fight. You’ve always been so brave.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Rory said. “I’ve never had to be brave, not like you. I had support and love, and I always knew my family would be here for me. But you have me now, Ave. My family. We’ll be that for you. You just have to hold on.”
Avery nodded, eyes bright with unshed tears. “I’m trying. I know I’m not all the way there yet—”
Rory silenced the words with another kiss. “You’re trying. That’s enough. You have to do this for you, not me. I’ll love you regardless. Wear suits or wear lace. Either way, I’m yours.”
Avery’s heart hammered so hard in his chest he half expected to collapse. He kissed Rory hard, pouring all his love into him. He’d always loved to dress in pretty things, but he’d always felt so damn conflicted about it. He’d felt empowered at first, when he dressed up alone, beautiful and sexy. He’d told himself it wasn’t any different than other people fantasizing. What he did alone couldn’t hurt anyone. But then came the guilt and shame. The fear that someone would discover the truth about him. That he liked feeling soft, feminine. There was a yearning in him that he couldn’t repress. And here he was revealing it to another person, and that person accepted him wholly, encouraged him, loved him.
It was a heady feeling. Fear and hope mingled inside him, swirled to create an intoxicating mix of adrenaline and lust. He wanted Rory more than ever.
He forgot about the mirror. He forgot about how self-conscious he’d felt as he had stepped into that hallway clad in nothing but lingerie and hope. He manhandled Rory, hauling him toward the bed. He was tall but slim, and Avery easily lifted him from his feet long enough to toss him on the bed.
Rory grinned as he bounced. “Damn, Avery. You’re fired up.”
Avery crawled on the bed over him, silencing his laughter with a hard kiss. He had needs, and he was no longer afraid to take them. He grabbed Rory’s shirt and dragged it up his torso, yanking it over his head as Rory raised up to help. Then he dropped his hands to Rory’s jeans. Together, they both stripped down, but Rory stopped him from taking off the garter belt and stockings.
“Wear it for me,” he said, his eyes hot as they ran up and down his legs.
Avery felt his heart soar. He’d never felt so sexy in his life, not even that night on Bliss, and that was saying something, because Rory had made him feel amazing even then. Accepted. Avery had panicked later, the following morning. But the fact he’d been brave enough to ask Rory to fuck him meant that he was fully in thrall to the only man he’d ever loved.
If only he could have held on to that feeling in the aftermath. Avery sent up a quick plea to the universe that he wouldn’t make that mistake again. He wanted to hold on to this feeling even when the lust faded, and his orgasm had come and gone. He wanted to remember that Rory loved him, really loved him, just as he was.
Rory grabbed the supplies he’d unpacked at some point, and Avery shoved him back down onto the pillows. While Rory rolled on a condom, Avery lubed up his fingers and hurriedly prepped himself. It was a rushed job, and he’d feel Rory all the more for it, but that was okay. Avery had adjusted to Rory’s body, and he knew he could handle a little burn in exchange for the pleasure that would follow.
He straddled Rory, and as Rory held his cock steady, he impaled himself, taking Rory so hard and fast his head spun, and pain flared bright for a handful of seconds.
“Jesus, Avery!” Rory choked, starting to sit up. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
Avery shoved him flat, placing one hand in the center of Rory’s chest while he rolled his lower body. He was aware of the pain at one level, but he was flooded with adrenaline and lust, so it didn’t diminish his desire. “I’m fine,” he gasped. “I can handle you.”
“Fuck yes, you can.”
They fell silent as Avery worked what felt like every muscle in his body to take Rory harder, faster. Rory’s hands roamed his thighs, stroking over the silky stockings, sending erotic thrills through Avery that had nothing to do with physical sensation. Rory was touching his most intimate desires, something he’d kept buried deep and hidden. It made him feel vulnerable, but also incredibly brave, to show it to Rory.
Rory bucked under him, thrusting himself deeper as he tossed his head and tensed. “Fuck, I can’t hold back, I—”
He groaned long and loud, coming as Avery stuttered to a halt and leaned forward to kiss his eyelids, cheeks, lips as Rory slowly shuddered his way through coming. “Love you,” Avery murmured against his skin. “Love being with you.”
“Fuck,” Rory said, chuckling a little. “I blew too soon. You were just so sexy.”
“Nah,” Avery said. “Give me your hand for two minutes, and I’ll be right there with you.”
Rory’s hands didn’t leave his thighs, though. “I’ve got a better idea…if you’re up for it.”
Avery raised his brows.
“Fuck me.”
Avery’s breath caught. “You mean, like…”
Rory nodded.
“We’ve never done that,” Avery said. “I kind of thought you didn’t do that.”
Rory reached up, cupping his face. “I don’t do it often. It’s been years. But I want to do it now, with you.” His flicked out his tongue to moisten his lips. “I was…hesitant to offer before. I thought you might use it to avoid what you really wanted. What we both really wanted.”
Avery bit down on his lip, unsure how he felt about that. Rory hadn’t been dishonest; Avery was the one who made the assumption he didn’t bottom. And ultimately, he was right. That was what Avery really wanted, which he’d basically told Rory the first night they hooked up, and he probably would have tried to satisfy himself with fucking Rory, even if he’d wished the entire time it was the other way around.
“Okay,” Avery said.
“We don’t have to do it, though, if you don’t want.” Rory grasped Avery’s cock, which had lost a little enthusiasm during this conversation. Rory was still inside him, and Avery clenched around him as Rory’s hand brought his cock back to hardness. “I don’t want to ruin this,” Rory said, his voice taking on a note of urgency. “I love you. I’m sorry if I pushed you too much.”
Avery kissed the apology away. “No, don’t. Don’t apologize. I want it. I want to fuck you too.” He groaned as the thought took hold and the reality began to sink in. Avery had always secretly longed to bottom, to be possessed fully by a man, but that didn’t mean the idea of having every part of Rory didn’t appeal to him.
If Rory didn’t do it often, then it was all the more special.
They disentangled, hurrying to prepare for the switch, and then Avery was pressing Rory’s legs up and back. He fingered Rory, stretching him out as quickly as he dared, and then he pressed up against his tight hole.
“You’re sure?”
Rory nodded, eyes dark and full of emotion. “Take me, Avery. I want everything with you.”
Avery thrust in, eyes rolling back in his head at the intense tightness closing in on his cock. “Fuck, Rory.”
Rory’s knees hugged his ribs as Avery took what he needed, thrusting twice and coming embarrassingly fast. He cried out into Rory’s neck, body trembling, while Rory’s arms and legs cradled him.
When he could speak, he laughed ruefully. “Came so fast.”
“That makes both of us. Guess we’re just that good.”
Avery withdrew as carefully as he could, but Rory winced, a pained expression on his face. Avery brushed a thumb over his cheekbone. “Next time we do this, we’ll do it slow
and gentle.”
Rory didn’t blush or look away. He looked directly into Avery’s eyes as he said, “Fuck that. If you can handle me, I can handle you.”
Avery smirked. “I have no doubt.”
Rory smacked his hip. “Now get rid of that condom. We should shower before the family gets home.”
The thought of being caught naked and sweaty made Avery scuttle off the bed, holding out a hand for Rory. As Rory slowly stripped Avery’s stockings off—sadly, they’d taken some damage in their sex frenzy—Avery realized that once again, he didn’t feel the usual guilt or shame that accompanied dressing up. Maybe it was because he wasn’t alone and it would hit later. Maybe it was because he was stronger now.
Or maybe, like Rory said, it was because he knew he had an ally. Someone who would never shame him for his desire to show a different side of himself.
Whatever the reason, Avery was relieved and thankful. Maybe he really could do this. He might not be brave enough to show his inner self to the entire world. But the man he loved? That seemed manageable.
20
They stayed with the Lewises through New Year’s Day before heading back to Portland. After showering and dressing on Christmas Eve, Rory had tentatively given Avery his gift: a soft, cashmere silvery blue sweater with a scooped neckline that was a bit longer than what you’d typically find in the men’s department but subtle enough Avery didn’t have to feel like he was going to draw too much attention.
He’d said he loved it—and dared to wear it Christmas morning, when they joined Rory’s family in the living room and Monique passed out gifts while wearing a Santa hat. No one had looked twice at him, beyond Keisha shyly telling Avery she liked it. Rory’s mom gave Avery a pretty scarf, and Rory was touched that she’d make an effort to give him something that conveyed, even more strongly than their words, that Avery was not only accepted, but welcomed and encouraged in their household.