by C. J. Hill
“Mr. Collins. I confess that I am utterly astonished and most aware of the honour that you do me by requesting my hand in marriage. I do not intend to make light of your earnest intentions by asking you to wait for a reply, or by making a negative reply in the fashionable hope of hearing more of your ardent lovemaking. I am struck mainly by your evident desire for a useful partner in your life and I, also, ask nothing more than that for myself, and some reasonable level of comfort.
“I am, as you have noted over the past few days, well trained in all matters of running a household and I believe, as you say, that we will be quite compatible and able to work well together towards our common goals and aspirations. I therefore accept your kind and generous offer and am prepared to name the earliest day for the marriage as will suit you, my parents and, of course, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
“Please accompany me into the house where you can apply to my parents for their consent, which I have no reason to believe will be withheld, and where we can rejoice in our common interests at long last being met in one another.”
To say that it took a moment for Mr. Collins to realise the purport of Charlotte’s answer would be an understatement; his face had a quizzical look as he unravelled her response and took in the gist of it. That she was not modestly simpering and blushing did not fulfil his preconceived notion of what an acceptance was supposed to look like; that she was not, at this moment folded into his arms in, if not love, then gratitude for saving her from a life of spinsterhood, was certainly not as he had envisaged; her businesslike tone was so far removed from his application of love and affection that he was more than a little taken aback.
However, he gathered that she had not repeated her friend’s mistake in refusing him and for that he was relieved. But for some unclear reason he felt as though they were out of time with each other, he felt muddled. His was a proposal of love and marriage; hers was an acceptance of a job, a title, a contract. This was not how it was supposed to eventuate; they should be embracing, surely? At least he should have her hand in his and be continuing his ardent attentions to her - he believed this to be the way of true romance and proposals.
Charlotte saw his confusion and decided that she must, after all, endure, for the moment at least, more of his unwanted attentions. She held out her hand and he grasped it thankfully, kissing it most ardently, murmuring all the while of his undying love for her, etc., etc. She allowed him to assist her to the house with her hand in his and his arm encircling her waist; an uncomfortable, ill-timed promenade but one that must be endured for appearance’s sake. Her first humiliation in a long line of many, she thought wryly to herself, as she showed him into the front parlour to await her father’s appearance.
VIII
Charlotte went to her father directly, who was just starting his breakfast, in order to warn him of the morning’s events and that Mr. Collins was at that moment waiting in a fever of anticipation for him in the front parlour.
Sir William was utterly astonished by the news but not without some sort of impending joy approaching speedily from behind. He listened with increasing astonishment at his eldest daughter’s tale of calculation and successful entrapment; he never would attempt to understand the inner workings of the female mind. Where he thought his daughter had been holding out for a lover, it now would appear that she had settled for convenience. If he had proposed such a match, he would have been shouted down by both Charlotte and her mother. What machinations had been in progress right beneath his own nose, at his own dinner table, and in his own garden.
“Indeed, my dear, I hardly know what to say; whether to congratulate or commiserate with you. I would know the circumstances though, it being so early in the morning. Was it pre-planned between you last evening? You have been both so much engaged with each other to the exclusion of anyone else but I must say I had no idea of your underlying intentions. I must rouse your mother and alert her to the news; such a shock, such an unexpected event, Charlotte! Your mother must be made aware immediately.”
A message was sent to Lady Lucas that something of great import was afoot and that she was needed immediately in the breakfast room. Charlotte and her father were determined that Mrs. Lucas be made aware before she went to meet with her future son-in-law; the surprise of the moment might force some impolitic statements to be uttered.
Sir William, after his first astonishment, was mainly concerned at the rapidity of the proceedings but also at what he perceived as Charlotte’s disinterested and apparently cynical or calculated choice in such a husband; he understood her motives but questioned her sanity. While not a very intelligent man himself, Sir William had seen enough of his daughter and Mr. Collins in their short time together to notice at least two things: that Charlotte appeared to be merely affecting a polite interest in the gentleman’s troubles due to her friend’s actions, and that Mr. Collins was one of those exceedingly loquacious and irritating people who command undue attention to themselves, not through the force of their personality or their intelligence, but rather, through a lack of it. His saving grace was that he did have sound connections with a respected family, was a man of comfortable living and would also inherit property in Meryton whenever the present owner might make way for him.
“But, my dear, you cannot possibly be in love with Mr. Collins? You can hardly have a measure of him as a man; his situation may be favourable but his personality certainly leaves much to be desired,” he half-heartedly attempted to dissuade his daughter.
Charlotte observed clearly that her father, who had now been joined by her mother in the breakfast room, was torn between the propriety of allowing his daughter to enter into such a match, beneficial in so many ways to her, and her family, without at first ascertaining that she truly was entering into this commitment with a clear head.
Charlotte smiled at her parents, well aware of the consternation raging within them, the hopes for their child at odds with their desire for her to be happy in her life.
“I realise that I have only known Mr. Collins a short time, and that most of the time I have spent with him has been an attempt to relieve his disappointment and humiliation caused by Eliza. But in that short time I have been able to observe that he is a generally kind, well-meaning sort of person as evidenced by him coming all this way with the sole intention of asking one of his cousins to become his wife, thereby keeping Longbourn within the Bennet family. If this is not a disinterested, wholly magnanimous gesture I am sure I do not know what is. He has an unfortunate manner, to be sure, and often speaks long with little substance but I believe that here, and in many other areas of his life, I will be able to improve him as time passes.
“As you are fully aware, I have long wanted to be useful in the world but have found little outlet for my skills and aspirations. I am certain that this opportunity to be the wife of a village parson, to attempt to improve him in manner and education, as I intend to try to improve his parish where I can, is just the outlet for which I have been waiting.
“I do not claim to accept this offer out of love; I have never been particularly romantic you know, and while Mr. Collins professes all of the usual endearments as he thinks proper, I know that, truly, he must be imagining any real affection for me other than that of a prospective partner in life, someone to share life’s journey with, and only on that basis did I accept him.”
Her gentle and logical reasoning eventually convinced her parents that she really was under no illusion as to what she had agreed upon, and with a mixture of relief and increasing approbation, as he began to appreciate just how having Charlotte married would have a positive impact upon the Lucas household and family, Sir William nodded his agreement to his daughter and proceeded to the parlour where, he discovered, Mr. Collins was not to be forestalled; he would have his say.
With a skill born of a genuine interest in his fellow man, Sir William patiently listened to an extended eloquent and impassioned outpouring of love and devotion for his daughter, interspersed with a goodly sprink
ling of fortunate information that showed the suitor in the most attractive and desirable light possible.
Later that night, after Mr. Collins had finally been convinced to depart and take his observations and excitements with him until the morrow, Sir William observed to his wife:
“Truly, by the end of it, he had me almost believing Charlotte a beauty, a veritable beauty, with the patience and goodness of a saint rolled into one.”
“She will need all of that saintliness if she is to endure life with him,” his wife retorted dourly. Her future son-in-law was an exhausting guest. She felt her smile had fixed itself upon her face and her head almost nodded off its shoulders while trying to agree and continue conversations with him.
He had a wealth of topics about which he was an expert and no sooner than he appeared to have run the course of one, then he would be commenting upon another with equal fervour. She would not visit the Collins’ when they were married, she had already determined. She really could not; she doubted the length of the journey would agree with her let alone the strain of several weeks of concentrated time with him. Let Charlotte come to Lucas Lodge, preferably when Hunsford or his sainted patroness had the most need of its parson and could not allow him time away.
As she drifted off to sleep, smiling at the unforeseen good fortune that had occurred that day, Lady Lucas fondly calculated, though not through any true maliciousness to her neighbour, just how long it might be before Charlotte could be receiving her parents at Longbourn. Now that would be a convenience and a comfort indeed to have her daughter settled so close to be helpful if and when required, but only if the husband could be persuaded to improve.
Not only were Sir and Lady Lucas considering the not-inconsiderable good fortune that had befallen their daughter and consequently, them, that day, but also Charlotte’s younger sisters and brothers were quietly celebrating. For the younger sisters, who could not properly be brought out into society until their elder sister was married, it held the promise of that introduction all the sooner and all of the possibilities society promised.
“Still,” they considered, whispering under the bedclothes, “She is by far the plainest of us all, and the most serious; how did she ever expect to find a husband who would appreciate intelligence and good sense more than good looks and having fun?”
They thought Mr. Collins to be a perfect match for their sister: serious, boring and plain. Thank goodness they would not have to tolerate his company for too long as they gathered from conversations at dinner that Mr. Collins wanted to name the day as soon as he possibly could; after Christmas at the latest was the proposed schedule.
Charlotte’s brothers were also relieved that the onus of care and protection for Charlotte was to be handed over to another man. The responsibility of having an aging, spinster sister was not one that they had relished, and had argued from time to time over whose house she would run while they looked for their own partners. Pompous and irritating he may well be, but Mr. Collins’ change of heart fortunately alighting upon their sister had cast more happiness and excitement within her family than could be said to be living in his beloved’s heart or head.
Charlotte retired quietly, reflecting on the events of the day and was content. She was under no illusion about her choice of husband but he could provide for all of her needs and comforts; she could be useful and have her own household to manage. Marriage was not her ideal, but it was the best option in a world which did not promote women.
“Like cattle,” she thought wryly to herself; “branded and passed from father to husband for safekeeping.”
Charlotte did have one worry concerning her engagement, however, and it involved the reaction of her friend when confronted with the news. For this reason, Charlotte had impressed upon Mr. Collins the necessity of keeping news of the engagement secret until she could break it to Elizabeth herself and help her understand the reasons for it. Much against his inclination, desperate as he was to return triumphant to Longbourn for dinner and broadcast his successful suit to all his cousins, and most especially Eliza, Mr. Collins finally, reluctantly, bowed to his betrothed’s wishes and promised to remain silent upon the subject until Charlotte had broken the news.
Charlotte knew that Eliza would be shocked; for Mr. Collins to propose again so soon after proposing to her friend was incomprehensible and, though she knew that Eliza did not care for him at all, it is, even so, insulting and shocking to be so quickly passed over when one has been considered as a future wife with all of the expressions of devotion Charlotte was sure, from her own experience, had been uttered.
She also considered Mr. Collins in this decision; he was ill-equipped to face Mrs. Bennet’s fury or fend off the accusations from that lady who still had, Charlotte was convinced, high hopes of having, if not Eliza married to Mr. Collins, then one of her younger daughters before he left. His throwing over all of her daughters in favour of Charlotte would be a bitter pill indeed and one that would not be swallowed without a great deal of recrimination and railing against the offenders. Charlotte was under no delusion that she would be excluded from the conspiracy; she would be accused of planning it out, of drawing him in with deceptions and allurements. Under such an attack of hysteria, disbelief and disgust, Mr. Collins would take offence. He would become resentful, he would bluster, quite incapable of talking his way out of his predicament, and since he was still a guest in their house, it could prove a very uncomfortable last night at Longbourn for him.
No, it would be far better for the secret to be kept until Charlotte’s visit in the morning to break the news to Eliza; her father would do the same with Mrs. Bennet, and, hopefully, the storm would subside sooner rather than later. It promised to be an interesting day.
IX
The next morning was raining and cold. Charlotte rose at her usual time, breakfasted and then went to the kitchen to confer with the cook about the meals for the day. Mrs. Dunn, a large, comfortable woman who had been in the employ of the Lucas household for as long as Charlotte could remember, kept smiling and flushing as Charlotte was talking with her, casting sideways glances as if to catch a signal or the slightest clue that what she had heard from the parlour maid, who had overheard the conversations the previous day between the family members, was true.
Charlotte paused in the middle of speaking about the order for the butcher, which she thought should be reduced for the next few days due to her brothers’ plan to visit their cousins in Little Hampton; indeed, the order could almost be halved the amount they ate, and she looked, exasperated at Mrs. Dunn, after asking her about the situation with the mincemeat for the second time.
“Is there something that you wish to say, Mrs. Dunn? You look troubled or confused about something?”
“No, no, Miss. I’m not troubled about anything, I’m more wanting to know if we are to have a guest for dinner tonight, or perhaps for luncheon today? I have a lovely bacon and ham pie all ready for unexpected guests; you know I always do have something.”
“Really, Mrs. Dunn, why would you imagine we should have guests today, especially after I have just said to reduce the delivery from the butcher? I’m afraid I do not follow your concerns; has my father mentioned a visitor to you that he has forgotten to advise me about?”
“No, indeed he hasn’t.” Mrs. Dunn looked uncomfortable as if she wished she had not bothered broaching the subject. “It’s just that, well, we heard talking going on yesterday and we wanted to, the staff that is, to wish you health and happiness in your new life.”
Mrs. Dunn let the final words come tumbling out in a rush and stood looking expectantly at Charlotte. She had known Charlotte since she was a girl and knew that she would not stand upon her dignity unless she was grievously displeased or unhappy about the situation.
Charlotte flushed slightly and smiled in her calm manner; she was always learning just how much the servants knew about the family’s life, why, they probably knew more about her mother and father’s concerns than she did.
“You have every reason to rejoice in my good fortune, Mrs. Dunn, and I thank you for your good wishes. I am happy to confirm your suspicions; that Mr. Collins, the cousin of Mr. Bennet, the gentleman who was here yesterday, has done me the honour of asking me to be his wife.”
“Oh, but that is good news, miss! When would you be getting married then?”
Charlotte turned to check the pantry for supplies and wryly shrugged.
“Mr. Collins is a most persistent suitor. He would have us married before the week is out, if at all possible. I convinced him that this is a busy time and that we should wait until after Christmas, which would allow enough time for the arrangements to be completed; he remembered then that he would prefer that also as he wishes to prepare the Parsonage before my arrival. I assured him that there was no need, that I could survive with very little, but he is insistent, and so he has gone to attend to those details himself before Christmas.
“Do we need more coffee, Mrs. Dunn? I thought we ordered some last month?”
Mrs. Dunn reached into the pantry and discovered a package behind the tea.
“A household of your own, miss. That will be a pleasant thing, will it not? You will be sorely missed here though; especially by your parents and the staff.”
Charlotte smiled at the woman and at her obvious delight in the news; to her, Mr. Collins probably appeared to be quite a gentleman and a fortunate match, she thought ruefully.
“My marriage to Mr. Collins means that I will have my own household rather than the running of this one. My role as wife to Mr. Collins will elevate my position perhaps but, in essence, all will remain the same.”