The Demon

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The Demon Page 12

by Hubert Selby Jr.


  Harry spent the remainder of that day vacillating between feelings of joy and disappointment, feeling resentful at being

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  at the same old desk, then looking forward to the additional money and work. He applied himself to his work, which was anticlimactic right now, and stopped every now and then and looked around, feeling at one time as if he had been here his entire life, and then another as if it was all new, as if he knew he had been there before, yet somehow it all looked unfamiliar.

  He thought of Davis, the new junior vice-president, and he twinged slightly and felt flushed, but then remembered the pending raise and the complimentary things Wentworth had said to him, and smiled smugly as he thought that he would probably be getting more than Davis even with his title. And his mind constantly kept taking him back to the restaurant and the sounds and the smells and the feel of the napkin on his lap and in his hand as he dabbed at his mouth from time to time, and to Wentworths expression and attitude. And he knew he wasnt bullshitting him. He was straight. And what he said was straight. Harry knew that. Deep down inside he knew absolutely that he meant everything he had said. And there was something about Wentworths attitude that made him feel good. Yeah, he was leveling with him, all right. There was no doubt about that. All Harry had to do was to stick to it and Wentworth would push him all he could. And there was really nothing to it. He didnt know exactly what had happened before to get him all screwed up and blow that promotion, but whatever it was, it was not going to happen again. He was going to see to that. He was going to get in here every day right on the button and do the best goddamn job Wentworth, or anyone else, had ever seen, and pretty soon . . . Yeah, who knows. No place to go but up. Forget about those crummy cafeterias, he knew where to go for lunch. And that bullshit of sending out for a quick hamburger when he was working late—no more of that. He knew how to live—how to really live. Central Park West isnt that far away. A nice little apartment up high enough so you can see the whole damn park or even the ocean. Thats the way to live. Have to get somewhere, you just jump in a cab. No more hassling those subways. It

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  wont be long. Yeah . . . Harry stared in front of him, smiling and emotionally involved with the future and a feeling of warmth and well-being.

  His smile broadened and he got up and walked to the junior vice-presidents new office. Hi. How you doing? I suddenly realized that I hadnt seen your new office, so I thought I had better get over here before you get another promotion.

  They both laughed, and Davis got up and stuck his hand into Harrys as he extended it over the desk. Hi, Harry. How you doing?

  Great. Just great. Boy, some office, looking around. Complete with painting and potted plant, eh?

  Yeah, laughing. I guess when youre a junior vice-president, they think you need a little extra oxygen.

  I guess so, both of them laughing and chuckling. Harry turned back to Davis with a serious smile on his face. What I really wanted to tell you is that I am really happy for you and if there is ever anything I can do—you know, maybe give you a hand or something—just give a yell.

  Well, thanks, Harry, I really appreciate that.

  Right. They smiled at each other and Harry cupped Davis on the shoulder and left.

  Harry felt so good, and so excited, that he had to force himself to sit at his desk. He didnt know what he felt like doing, but he felt like doing something—anything.

  His phone rang and he picked it up instantly. Hello Harry, this is Linda. Do you still have the Burrell file?

  For a moment Harrys mind whirled around and he tried desperately to keep up with it. He knew he knew a Linda and a Burrell file, but he could not get them connected or related. Then after a couple of endless seconds, it clicked into place.

  Hi. Long time no see. Yeah, as a matter of fact I do.

  O good, I need it. Do you mind if I come over and pick it up?

  Dont bother. I have to go over that way anyway. I should have returned it before this in the first place. Be right there.

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  He found the file and happily left his desk. At least he now had something to do and somewhere to go. He could not have sat still for another moment.

  As he walked to Lindas desk his mind quickly flashed pictures of her lying beside the pool—and him—and of their dancing, and he remembered how she looked and felt, and he vaguely wondered whether or not her roommate was out of town.

  Hi. Where do you want this? extending the file.

  O, you can just put it over there with the rest of them, smiling warmly.

  I hope they dont fall, adding the file to the top of the pile, they will crush you and we wouldnt want that.

  Im with you on that. I/ll be finished with them someday, I hope, and get them safely off the desk. By the way, I hear that youve been burning the midnight oil over there lately.

  O yeah? You must have been talking to Louise and Rae,

  chuckling and waving his finger at her.

  Well, laughing, I did have lunch with them a few times. Speaking of lunch, how about joining me tomorrow? I/ll spring.

  I thought you gave up lunch hours.

  Well, gesturing expansively, for you I/ll make an exception.

  Thank you, smiling and chuckling, thats very generous of you.

  Well, you know me, clutching his hands to his chest, Im all heart.

  How can I resist an invitation like that—no, raising her hand, dont tell me, I know: easy. They both laughed.

  I have to get back to my desk. See you tomorrow.

  Lunch was delightful. It seemed like years since he had had a leisurely lunch, and he could not remember the last time he had lunch with a woman, or who it was, it was so long ago.

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  And whenever that last lunch was, and whoever it was with, he knew absolutely that it was not like this—relaxed, no pressure, no games, no maneuvering. Just an all-too-fast lunch hour with a lively woman (hmmm, what do you know, shes not a broad) and charming conversation.

  I hear by way of the grapevine that you have something new cooking?

  You mean a grapevine named yenta?

  She chuckled along with him. I guess Rae and Louise do sort of take a special interest in you.

  And a lot of other things, too.

  Yes, thats true, but I really love them. Theyre so nice, so warm and—a friendly. Kind of motherly, I guess.

  Yeah, chuckling, I know. But one mother is enough, I dont need two more—Harry suddenly laughed—wondering about our lunch and when we/ll get married.

  Youre probably right, smiling, how many children do you want?

  O, I dont know, why not start with ten?

  Suppose we just get back to lunch, if you dont mind.

  O.K., laughing along with her, that seems a lot safer.

  But there is one thing that cannot be denied, and that is that they are a great source of information. Between them they know everything that is going on in the office, even if it hasnt happened yet.

  Yeah, nodding his head, that sure is true—O, by the way, I wanted to apologize for bugging you on the way home from the outing.

  Bugging me? Im afraid I dont know what you mean.

  Well, you know, fidgeting in his seat and toying with his coffee cup, I, ah ... well, I may have sounded a little negative about some things, and, shrugging his shoulders, the way I— ah—mentioned Davis and his promotion may have sounded funny— You know, in thinking about it I realized that it may have given you the wrong impression.

  No apology is necessary, Harry, smiling warmly and reassuringly, as far as Im concerned. As a matter of fact I have

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  no idea what you are talking about. I had a really wonderful time.

  Good, smiling and sighing inwardly, Im glad to hear it.

  But tell me about this new thing youre doing, Im dying to hear about it. Rae said that it was something, quote, spectacular and fantastic, already, end quote.

  Well, it really isnt all that great, rel
axing and enjoying the warmth of her smile and her voice, its not going to change the world. But, his smile broadening, it really turns me on. You see, one of the great things about this idea, moving and speaking enthusiastically, is that I think I can adopt it for areas other than what I originally used it for—at least thats what I am going to try to do—am trying to do. And who knows what may be developed if I keep— Linda laughed and Harry looked at her bewildered for a moment, and she reached across the table and squeezed his hands with hers.

  Im sorry Harry, I didnt mean to interrupt or upset you, but I have never seen anyone so excited about his work before. I think its wonderful, just marvelous. You really do love your work, dont you?

  Yeah, well, blushing slightly, I guess I do. It kind of grabs me sometimes, you know when theres a problem and you have to find an answer, Linda withdrawing her hands and continuing to look at him intently, smiling, or when you suddenly get an idea and you work on it and work on it and you twist it and yank it until it fits just right—Harry leaned back and chuckled, I guess I really do like it.

  Yes, it certainly shows. But Im afraid we will have to continue this another time, its time to get back.

  Thats too bad. The only thing I like more than my work is talking about it, gesturing with his arms and smiling broadly, to you. How about having lunch again, tomorrow?

  Fine. I/d love it.

  Lunch the following day was even more exciting, it being spent talking about Harrys work and what he had done and what he hoped to do and how good and, ah—sort of whole he felt when he was completely involved in his work; and of

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  his ambitions and dreams of success. And the amazing thing, the thing that Harry White was not too aware of because of his involvement with himself, but could somehow sense, was that Linda not only listened intently, but was truly interested in what he was saying and thoroughly enjoyed the conversation—or perhaps it would be more accurate to say—monologue.

  When he got back to the office, he asked Rae if she wanted to know what they had been talking about, or did she already know?

  Of course I do—Louise was laughing—but Im not going to tell you. Youll have to find out for yourself, darlingk. So what do you think of boy wonder here, Louise? He thinks maybe we had a bugger gadget under the table. Harry and Louise burst into a loud guffaw, then quickly swallowed it to controlled laughter. So whats so funny?

  Louise and Harry were still bouncing back and forth between deep chuckles and laughter. You tell her, Harry.

  Harry wiped a couple of tears from his eyes and stopped laughing. You mean bugging device.

  Eh, so big deal. Bugger or bugging, its the same difference.

  Not quite, he and Louise started laughing again, theres a big difference.

  So whos fighting? Let me tell you, bug or bugger, you tell a girl how wonderful you are and how far up in the world you are going to go, and then you let her catch you.

  You should listen to her, Harry, its good advice, still laughing and chuckling.

  You mean like advice to the lovelorn by Linda Lovely—or is it Linda Lovelace?

  So what could I tell you? You name them, you pick them.

  They all laughed, and Harry extended his arms in a gesture of submission. I give up. I dont know how I ever got involved in this, but Im getting out of here before you drive me nuts.

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  Thats not much of a drive, Louise was choking on her laughter and sputtering as she spoke, its a short putt.

  Harrys eyes were tearing again from laughter as he walked back to his desk.

  Lunch with Linda became almost a daily occurrence, and an extremely happy and relaxing one. Harry knew that they were simply going to eat lunch and talk and get back to the office on time, and so he was not afraid of things getting out of hand and thus getting back to the office hours late and getting in trouble with Wentworth again. He did not want that. Things were going well—as a matter of fact they were great—and he wanted to keep it that way. He really loved his work and actually looked forward to it each day.

  And, he had no desire to roam around during his lunch hour and see what broads he could pick up or play games with. Somehow that whole scene seemed to be part of the distant past and only vaguely remembered, at times with a tinge of embarrassment, and at other times with the vague realization that if he were to pursue that again, it would not only mean the loss of his job, the work he now loved so thoroughly and that was so satisfying, but would also mean the loss of something else. Of what he did not know, but there was the vague feeling that he had better beware because there was something that was not only unknown involved with those actions, but something absolutely deadly.

  And, of course, he really enjoyed Lindas company. She was different, unlike any broad—female—he had ever met. He didnt try to analyze the difference, or ponder about it in any way, but just allowed himself to enjoy the feeling. And, he was becoming more and more aware of how she was making him feel.

  One of the things that he did think about from time to time, in an amazed sort of way, was how much he enjoyed just talking with her. They always seemed to have a ball just talk-

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  ing and eating their sandwiches and drinking their coffee in a crowded luncheonette or cafeteria. They somehow always seemed to have many things to talk about, and ideas to exchange, which was so new to Harry.

  But the big thing, the really significant thing that he thought about over and over, and enjoyed more and more, was her laugh. It was the happiest laugh he had ever heard. It was so real. Like she not only enjoyed laughing, but enjoyed living. Many times he would laugh before she got to the punch line of a joke she was telling because she would start laughing halfway through it.

  But it wasnt only the sound of her laughter, or what it did to and for him. It was also the sight of it. She just sparkled when she laughed, and her whole body, her entire being, seemed to be having fun. Her eyes just twinkled with little lights and even her fingernails seemed to glow. She loved laughter.

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  5

  Friday they made a date to go swimming the following day. They got to the beach in the late morning and though the beach was crowded with the weekend relief-seekers, they had no trouble finding an unoccupied area more than adequate for their needs, and just a short walk from the surf. They spread their blanket, rolled their clothes up and put them under their towels, then went for a swim.

  The water was cold when they ran in, but once the initial shock was over it was invigorating, and they stayed in for quite a while, swimming to the last float and back; diving into the waves or just jumping around in the surf. When they left the water, they trotted back to their blanket laughing and shaking water from their bodies.

  They stretched out on the blanket, and when Linda was dry, she started to rub herself with suntan oil. When she had rubbed all of her body except her back, she handed the bottle

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  to Harry and then stretched out on the blanket. Rub my back please, Harry.

  Sure. Harry let a few drops slowly drip on her back and laughed as she wiggled.

  Ooo, thats cold, Harry, dont do that.

  Yeah, I know, laughing and pouring a little oil in the palm of his hand.

  Youre awful.

  Yeah, I know, chuckling as he slowly rubbed the oil in her back. You know, with bikinis like this you end up with an awful lot of back to rub. She chuckled, and Harry continued rubbing her back, loving the feel of her skin, so smooth and warm from the oil and the sun. He continued rubbing, almost hypnotically as he watched his hand moving over her beautiful back, his insides warming, too, from the sun and the excitement that flowed through his hand and up his arm. . . .

  O, thats so good I could drift right off to sleep.

  Well, laughing, it keeps me awake. He gave one final rub and was about to slap her on the butt, but didnt. He handed her the bottle, O.K., now its my turn, then stretched out on the blanket.

  The day was a typical beach d
ay, complete with sand kicked in their faces by kids running by. They swam, floated, dunked, jumped and dove; and had hot dogs with cold beer, and even some Turkish taffy.

  They left the beach in the late afternoon, and the roads were crowded and at times the traffic barely crawled, but it just did not seem to bother Harry today. For one thing they were in no real hurry, and they chatted and laughed—Jesus he loved to hear her laugh—and though at times the traffic may have lagged, time didnt and it was an enjoyable ride home. It certainly was a lot different from the last time he drove her home. Its incredible, but that wasnt such a long time ago, yet its as if it were something from the vague and distant past. God, what a difference between that ride and this. Just no comparison. None at all.

  Lindas roommate was away for the weekend, so they de-

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  cided to eat dinner there. I/ll broil a few chops and toss a salad together and see what else is around.

  Great. Thats fine with me.

  Im going to take a quick shower and get the sand off. I/ll be out in a minute.

  Harry stretched out in a chair and slowly became conscious of the fact that he was listening to the sound of the shower and then was aware that he was imagining it flowing off Lindas body, and he shook his head and blinked his eyes and dismissed the image. He didnt know why, but he did not want to get into one of those fantasies.

 

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