“Like the hot dude in you,” Willow teased.
Remi smiled, thinking of how Mason had known it was her beneath the disguise after one quick glimpse of her eyes. “Now I understand what you guys mean when you talk about how strongly you’re attracted to your men. There’s this hum, a vibration inside me that I feel every time I think about him. I can’t explain it. But if Aiden catches wind of my attraction to Mason, he’d probably blame Mason and slaughter him.”
“You’re not doing anything but being female,” Piper said. “Besides, Aiden needs to get a life of his own, separate from watching over you—which, by the way, I’ve offered before and I’m offering again: I’d gladly distract that delicious brother of yours.”
“Piper!” Bridgette rolled her eyes. “Remi, why do you have to explain anything? Emotions aren’t meant to be explained. They’re meant to be felt. Period.”
Remi sighed. “Yes, but I’ve never felt anything like this before and he’s off-limits. I keep hoping it’s just a crush and it’ll go away, but I swear it gets stronger by the minute, like right before a tsunami when the water gets sucked back into the ocean. That’s me getting sucked in every time I think about him. I feel like a jerk, too, because he’s got a girlfriend, and I am not the kind of person who hits on another woman’s man.” She threw her hand up and said, “See how confused I am? He makes me laugh and he makes me think about things I haven’t wanted in a very long time.”
“Like really hot sex with a muscled hottieguard?” Piper said. “The kind of sex that leaves you too spent to move. Oh yes, I can definitely see that.”
Remi swatted her, because now she could see it, too, and that was the last thing she needed. She was having a hard enough time trying to forget what he’d looked like half-naked in the gym. “He’s making me a hot mess, but at the same time, he’s helping me understand myself and my life better, which is weird, right? I mean, he hasn’t even known me very long. But the things he says, the things he notices about me, about what I need . . .” She shook her head, overwhelmed by the intensity of her emotions.
“Maybe he’s your one,” Talia said thoughtfully.
“But we’ve known each other only five days, and he’s someone else’s one,” Remi said in a sharp whisper.
“Maybe he’s not that into her, because for you to feel this way, he has to be sending you the same vibes, right? And stop fretting about how long you’ve known him. I knew the second I saw Bodhi I wanted him,” Bridgette reminded her.
Piper smirked. “We all knew you wanted him.”
Talia tucked her dark hair behind her ear and said, “I never believed it before Derek, but love happens fast, when you least expect it, so don’t discount all those things you’re feeling.”
Remi’s eyes bloomed wide. “Whoa. I’m not in love with him.”
“Yet,” Talia said. “I didn’t think I would ever be attracted to a long-haired dancer who took his clothes off for a living, but when you meet the right person, something inside you changes. Actually, your view of yourself and your world changes.”
“It’s true,” Aurelia said. “Look at me and Ben. Did you ever think Ben would want to live in a two-bedroom apartment above a bookstore? The man has more money than God himself, and he wants nothing more than a simple life with me and Bea.”
“Remi, look at how much you’re already changing. You cooked, and you don’t want to ditch him anymore,” Bridgette added.
“I’m happy for you lovebirds, but I say forget love,” Piper said. “Why does Remi need forever? Just because you chicks drank the Kool-Aid doesn’t mean she has to. Stick with me in the Single Ladies Lust Club. It’s a fine place to hang your panties.”
“Ohmygod! Nobody is hanging my panties anywhere! Did you not register the he’s taken part of this conversation? Forget I said anything. Can we please change the subject?” Remi gulped down more of her drink as Mason stepped onto the other end of the patio and began poking away at his computer. He was like a swooping eagle, hovering and making her heart race but never getting quite close enough to her nest for her to attack. That was probably a good thing. She pushed to her feet, pulling Willow up beside her, and said, “Dance with me. I need a distraction from all this love talk.”
The rest of the girls joined them, dancing in a circle, and Remi’s lustful thoughts fell away as she lost herself in the fun of her girlfriends. Piper stepped into the middle of the group, shimmying up to each of them. Talia shocked them all when she joined Piper, wiggling her hips and whipping her long hair around.
“Go, Tallie!” Willow cheered.
“Derek showed me a few moves,” Talia said, blushing furiously.
Piper danced over to Remi and said, “Hey, five-foot-two, don’t look now, but hottieguard’s eyes are on you.”
Remi didn’t have to look. Now that she was thinking about him again, she could feel his electric gaze on her. She’d probably go straight to hell for it, but she couldn’t resist turning up the heat of her hip-swaying, shoulder-rocking dance. Piper whistled, and the girls cheered Remi on as her arms snaked over her head in a dance of pure seduction. She tried to lose herself in the music again, to fill the empty places inside her she’d always kept secret and Mason had unearthed—the loneliness no amount of Kinky Pink, sexy dancing, or cheering girlfriends could ever fill.
Mason had prepared for an all-nighter with Remi and her girlfriends, since Remi didn’t need to be at the set until midafternoon tomorrow, but they surprised him and called it a night around ten fifteen. The girls shared so many hugs as they said goodbye, he wondered if Remi’s friends were leaving on a six-month excursion without her. Afterward, he stood by the open gates as her friends drove away, to ensure no unwanted visitors slipped in. He kept an eye on Remi via the live feed from the patio camera on his phone. She was pushing in the chairs around the table. Her shoulders were rounded forward, and the bounce in her step was gone as she sauntered over to the firepit and stared forlornly into the ashes.
As he got into the SUV, he watched Remi walk to the edge of the patio and tip her face up toward the cloudy sky, looking young and vulnerable in her frayed cutoffs and the T-shirt she’d knotted at her hip.
What was she thinking? Even though he knew he shouldn’t, he wondered if she was thinking about him.
He drove up to the house and parked in the driveway. As he climbed from the SUV, the faint beat of music pulsed in the air like rain threatening to fall. He made his way inside, keeping an eye on the video. Remi began swaying to the music. She was a sensual, energetic dancer, but this was different. She was different. Her face was still tipped up toward the clouds, and there was nothing energetic about her movements. It was as if she’d turned on for a role when her friends were there, and now she’d switched off. But he knew better. The sensual dancing, the laughter, the carefree smiles that had lit up the darkness—that was all Remington Aldridge. She hadn’t been acting then any more than she was acting right now as she wrapped her arms around her slim body, swaying to a lonelier beat.
She sank down to the patio steps and kicked off her sandals.
Mason pocketed his phone, grabbed the long cardigan she’d left hanging over the back of the couch, and went to her.
“How’s it going, Princess?” He handed her the sweater. “I thought you might get chilly now that the fire’s died down.”
“Thank you.”
She spread the sweater over her legs and turned her beautiful face toward him. There was no mistaking the loneliness welling in her eyes despite the small curve of her lips. Her sadness seeped between the cracks of his armor, straight down to the emotional dungeon he’d thought he’d sealed off long ago. He wanted to hold her, to fill whatever void she was feeling. Remi had made those emotions rise to the surface so often, he was starting to expect them.
“Did any creepers sneak in?” she asked softly.
He sat beside her on the stone steps. “Not this time. Did you have fun?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Post-party
letdown?” he asked carefully.
She shrugged, looking out over the yard. “Have you ever not wanted to clean up from a good time because you didn’t want it to end?”
“I’ve never hosted a party, but I understand what it’s like not to want something good to end.”
Confusion rose in her eyes. “But you knew exactly what to do to prepare for tonight.”
“Sure, I know how to cook. I’ve had to do it forever. My life has never been conducive to entertaining, but I’d imagine not wanting to clean up after a good time with your friends is similar to meeting really great foster parents and not wanting to unpack your bag because once you do, you hear a timer ticking and know the short time they’ll keep you isn’t going to be long enough. And you think, ‘If I leave everything just as it is, maybe it can stay this way forever.’”
“Yes,” she said just above a whisper. “That’s exactly how I feel. I hate that you know that feeling. I’m sorry.”
He sat up a little straighter, unable to believe he’d just revealed so much of himself. “It’s a sucky feeling, but unless your friends are going off to war, I’m pretty sure you’ll see them again soon.”
She lowered her eyes, fidgeting with her sweater. “Did you go through many foster homes?”
“Enough to know the difference between good ones and bad ones.” He gritted his teeth against the memory of years of discomfort, anger, and loneliness pushing at those dungeon doors.
“Mason?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
He turned, meeting her sorrowful, curious gaze, and steeled himself against the walls stacking up inside him like Legos. He didn’t want to shut himself off from her, and that reality scared the hell out of him. “You can ask, but I can’t guarantee I’ll answer.”
“I understand. How long were you in foster care?”
“Twelve years. Ten homes.”
Sadness washed over her face. “That must have been awful.”
“Awful is relative, I guess. I see awful as being homeless, or watching your buddies die and not being able to save them. I was one of the lucky ones. I made it off the battlefield alive.”
“I’m not sure watching someone die is lucky,” she said in a thin, shaky voice. “The images never go away.”
His senses reeled. “Remi, that sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”
She nodded, and tears slipped down her cheeks. “I was there when my parents died,” she whispered. “In the car.”
CHAPTER NINE
MASON’S GUT SEIZED, and he swore he felt his heart tearing right down the center. The thought of Remi having been in the car with her parents when they were killed slayed him.
“I don’t understand,” he said, trying to put the pieces of Remi’s past together. “The articles about your family indicate that you were home with Aiden when your parents were killed.”
She shook her head. “It’s not true. That was Aiden’s doing, to protect me from the media. I don’t know what it was like for you in the military, but I’ll never forget that day. It was February, freezing rain, and I was supposed to have a big ballet recital that night. Aiden was living in California, running a West Coast office for my father’s company. I didn’t know it at the time, but he’d come home to surprise me and attend the recital with us. He was always doing things like that when I was growing up. Anyway, I was out with my parents when Aiden called to tell my dad he was home. He later told me that when he called, my father said we were only ten minutes away. I remember my dad looking at me in the rearview mirror after he took the call. His eyes were always so serious, like Aiden’s. But sometimes they would fill up with happiness so bright, when he looked at me I felt like the sun had risen inside me.”
Christ, that was exactly how Mason felt when Remi looked at him.
Her eyes teared up, and she touched the center of her chest.
“I’m so sorry, Remi.”
“It’s okay.” She inhaled a shaky breath. “I realized after the accident that my father looked so happy because he’d kept Aiden’s arrival a secret, and he was excited for me not only to see the big brother I idolized, but to hear about the gift Aiden had gotten me. Aiden knew how much I wanted to be an actress, and he’d gotten tickets to a Broadway show. He’d pulled some strings with a friend’s family and arranged for me to go backstage and meet the actors. I know that doesn’t sound like such a big deal these days, but when I was growing up, even though we had money, we lived a really simple life. When my parents were first married, my father lived paycheck to paycheck, but my mom had some savings. My father started investing the little money they had, and when my grandfather, who had raised him, passed away, my father invested the life insurance money. It turned out he had a knack for investing. Aiden has that same innate ability. Anyway, my father started investing for other people—on the side, not like a business at first—and he got lucky. By the time I was born he was worth millions, but I don’t think our neighbors or anyone else knew it. My parents were very private people. We lived in a modest farmhouse on a few acres in the hills of West Virginia. My parents took me to New York City once a year, and our lives were very normal. I went to public school, and we vacationed on Cape Cod each summer. Going to the city was a really big deal, but we never stayed there overnight. We always stayed in our little cabin about an hour outside of the city. Anyway, Aiden later told me that our parents felt that if they indulged me too often, it would demystify the magnificence of the city.”
He remembered the way she’d gazed longingly out at the lights the night of the fundraiser. She must have been thinking about her parents. “It sounds like they wanted to give you the world without stealing the stars from your eyes.”
She nodded, and he reached for her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. As he pulled back, she curled her fingers around his, holding on tight.
“The roads leading to our house wound up the mountain with sharp curves and harsh drop-offs,” she said softly. “I remember my mom putting her arm over the seat back and smiling at me. She was beautiful and as vivacious as my father was serious. I can still hear her saying, ‘I’m so proud of you. You’re going to shine tonight, Princess.’ That’s what she called me. Princess.”
He winced for the pain he’d probably caused every time he’d called her Princess. “I didn’t realize . . . I won’t call you that anymore.”
“No, I like it when you call me that. It makes me think of my mom, like she had a hand in you being here. Anyway, everything happened in an instant after that. Some deer ran across the road, and my father swerved to avoid them, but it was icy and the car spun. I remember screaming, and the sound of my mom yelling for me to hold on.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Then the car was rolling down the hill. Every roll brought thunderous sounds like the earth was exploding, metal tearing and crunching, glass shattering, our cries of terror. When the car slammed into a tree, it was on its side, and the sound, the impact . . . I can’t even describe it. I have no idea how I survived. I was sort of hanging there in the seat belt. The rest of the car was crushed except this bubble of space around me. My memories come and go after that. I see flashes of my father’s mangled arm crushed beneath metal. There was so much blood. I remember knowing he was gone and telling myself it was a nightmare and when I woke up he’d be fine. It felt like the car was still rolling, even after it stopped, and I had horrendous pressure in my chest.” She rubbed her chest. “I don’t know if that was from the impact, or . . .”
“Remi . . .” Mason’s voice cracked as he put his arm around her, holding her against him. She was trembling, tears wetting her cheeks. Wishing he could erase her pain, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and said, “You don’t have to say anything more.”
“I want to,” she choked out. “I couldn’t see my mom. The car was too mangled. But I heard her voice. It was so quiet, and you know how you can hear pain in someone’s voice?”
Like I do now? “It’s deafening.�
�
She nodded. “My mom kept saying, ‘Just breathe, Remi. Just breathe and everything will be all right.’ You say that to me a lot,” she said a little absently. “I remember holding on to her voice like it was tangible and could wrap around me and keep me breathing, save me. I don’t remember much else except that I was freezing and drenched from the rain. It felt like forever before I heard Aiden calling my name, and then he was pulling me from the wreckage, checking to see if I had broken bones, holding me, telling me I was okay. I was so traumatized, everything else is foggy. I don’t know if Aiden bribed the EMTs and doctors or what, but he managed to keep the fact that I was in the car out of the media. He was only twenty-four, but he’d always come across authoritative. People listen when he talks, plus he had money even then. He told me later that he didn’t want me to become known as the girl who survived and have that define who I became.”
Mason was floored by Aiden’s foresight.
Remi gasped a breath. “Aiden said he’d waited forty-five minutes for us to come home, and then he went looking for us. He drove by the scene of the accident twice before he noticed the trampled shrubs and torn-up grass along the side of the road and realized we’d gone over the side. We’d rolled too far down the mountain to see from the road. I . . .” She paused, breathing hard. “I remember begging him to save our parents, even though I’m sure I knew he couldn’t.”
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