But then he spat a red band of blood into the snow, glared up at Nole with what were practically demonic eyes, and then came charging forward like an angry bull.
I thought Nole could’ve easily overpowered him, but for whatever reason chose to play defense instead of offense- maybe he just didn’t want to crush my ex-husband like a total insect in front of me. Scott swung once, then twice at Nole’s stomach, missing both times. Nole threw a fist straight into Scott’s middle, forcing him to seize his gut in pain, then he thrust his knee up against Scott’s chin, knocking a tooth clean out of his mouth in the process, and with Scott having very few of them left to spare in the first place.
“Are we done here yet?” Nole asked, seeming more annoyed at how long this was dragging on than he was genuinely threatened.
Scott stood doubled over and panting for several seconds, and some stupid part of me thought he might actually have the sense to surrender.
But no, here came another explosive flash of movement. Scott raced forward, angrier than ever, his arms flailing in a way that made it seem as though he had no plan of attack whatsoever; all he wanted was to tear my new boyfriend to pieces, by whatever means he could.
Nole braced himself, appearing to look for weak areas to strike as Scott approached. But it just so happened that he never even had to land another blow.
As he was charging at Nole, Scott’s foot made contact with a dark spot on the sidewalk. I can’t say for sure, but I’m almost positive it was a patch of black ice in the exact same area where Nole had stopped me from falling weeks ago.
The only difference was, I’d been trudging along at a normal pace, whereas Scott had slammed down on it like a meteor falling through the atmosphere.
His body tumbled like a ragdoll, and he flipped cartoonishly high up into the air and seemed to hover there for several long moments. Then gravity yanked him back down again, his body hitting the pavement with a sickening crack, signaling the fight was over about as clearly as a bell in a boxing ring.
Nole and I stood silently for a moment, our breath clouding in front of us, the two of us both seeming to suspect Scott would try to get back up again. Instead he just let out a miserable groan of pain, and just barely managed to shift his weight from one side to the other, back and forth, as he lay there on the ground.
Seconds later I looked back at the sound of sirens, then saw red and blue police lights flooding up along the street.
I looked at Nole again. Then I turned in the other direction, to all the shops we’d been standing beside this entire time, all of which I knew to be equipped with security cameras.
The whole pathetic fight, then, would be on full display for police to see. There could be no doubt that Scott was the one guilty of assault, and that Nole had simply been acting in self-defense.
The police cruiser pulled up in the nearest available parking space at the end of the block. Before the officer could get to us I stepped over to where Scott was lying, and stood staring down into his beady brown eyes.
“There go your visitation rights,” I said, and couldn’t help but smile at how good it felt. Quickly, though, my expression became dead serious. “You stay the hell away from me and my daughter...”
Finally the police officer shambled over us, and Nole made a placating gesture with his hands to indicate that he meant no harm. I could see by the officer’s face that she recognized the figure lying in pain on the sidewalk- Scott had been arrested so many times by now that there could surely be little doubt about who was responsible for all the disruption.
I smiled as Nole began answering the officer’s questions, vaguely wondering what time Nole had made us reservations at Le Chateau, and whether we still might make it there by then.
Chapter Eight - ‘Twas the Season
Not since I was a little girl had I experienced a Christmas so magical, so perfect in every way as I did that year.
I’d only been together with Nole for a short time, but already he felt like family to me and Jule. The joy we felt opening gifts on Christmas morning put into stark relief the last few miserable holidays I’d spent with Scott in the years before. As much of an adjustment as our divorce had been for everyone, it finally sank in for me how much better off I was without him, now that a decent man was filling the role I’d foolishly been expecting my ex to live up to for such a very long time.
I nearly teared up when Jule came downstairs and saw all the presents under the Christmas tree. Our unexpected influx of business at the bakery meant that I was able to go in for a few extra gifts this year. In addition to the Nintendo Switch Lite I’d gone to pick up with her in Westport on our day out together, I threw in several extra games I knew she’d been wanting (which she could only play once her homework was finished). I got her a new bike, new shoes and some clothes.
Jule very sweetly gave me a snow globe from her school’s Christmas Fair that said “World’s Best Mom” with, fittingly, enough, a snowman inside it; and she gave Nole a brand new pair of mittens to replace the old tattered ones we’d used when we built him.
I still didn’t know how or if I would tell my Jujyfruit that the two of us had literally built her new father figure together. She would probably think I was crazy, and for all I knew maybe I was. For now, I decided, it was probably best for me not to spoil a good thing.
“I hope you like your gift,” Nole said as he handed me a rectangular box bound in red and green wrapping paper. I smiled at him, and placed my hand against his beard.
“You know I will,” I said. “Honestly, I don’t even deserve a gift from you after you’ve already given me so much this year.”
“Don’t be gross Mom,” said Jule, and I laughed.
“It’s not gross, it’s romantic!” I insisted.
“Jujyfruit’s right, Addie, you’re being gross,” Nole teased me. “Just open it...”
I did open it, and gasped at the sight of the pure silver snowflake necklace that was waiting for me.
“You’re my reason for being,” said the letters engraved into its shining surface.
“Oh my God, it’s perfect!” I said, tears welling in my eyes once more.
“You’re perfect,” said Nole.
“Ewwwwww!” said Jule, making a face at us.
We exchanged a long kiss, and Jule actually rose to her feet in protest.
“Okay you too, enough... It’s Christmas and Santa’s watching! Save it for one of your sleepovers...”
We both laughed.
“Believe it or not, you’ll understand this one day,” Nole teased her, still holding me in his arms.
“But not until you’re twenty-five,” I hastily added, half-joking.
I had no idea how much Nole really was saving for our next sleepover, though. But I would soon find out, after a day filled with presents, family board games, delicious meals, and round-the-clock marathons of A Christmas Story, when at last Jule nodded off to sleep, and Nole took me to my room to make the most incredible love to me I had ever had the pleasure of experiencing.
It must have been some damn strong Christmas magic that kept Jule from waking up at my cries.
It really, truly was the best, most perfect Christmas ever.
But I should’ve known, right then and there, that perfect never lasts...
————
The holidays came and went.
Nole and I entered into a New Year together. The bakery thrived.
We celebrated Valentine’s Day, then St. Patrick’s Day.
Our love together felt as much like a dream as it ever had, only something was beginning to change. I noticed Nole was beginning to slow down. He had less energy, both at the bakery and in bed.
He wouldn’t answer me whenever I asked him what was wrong, but it was impossible to deny that something was.
It wasn’t until April that he finally came clean.
Nole was sitting on the couch, doubled over in obvious physical discomfort, and covered in sweat. He hadn’t even touched the lunc
h I’d made him, and I think some part of me finally understood what was wrong, before I even had to ask.
“Please just tell me what’s going on with you,” I asked, as gently as I could. “I love you. And if you’re unhappy, if I’m doing something wrong...”
But he was already shaking his head.
“I love you more than the world, Addison. You know I would give you the world if I could.”
“I don’t want the world,” I said. “I just want you...”
Finally he looked up at me. As physically pained as his expression was, it was the guilt on his face that hurt more than anything, like he somehow believed he was doing something wrong by showing me this weakness.
“I don’t know how much more of myself I have to give,” he said sadly.
My heart just broke at the sound of his words.
“I don’t understand,” I said, but by then I was pretty sure that I did.
“Do you remember, before we got together... You asked me what happened to me in springtime? And I really didn’t answer you...”
“And now you are,” I said, and the tears began to spill down my cheeks, hot and painful against my skin.
“I honestly didn’t know at the time,” he said. “And I’ve been trying to tell myself it’s something else. Like maybe I got a bug or something. I’ve been putting off the truth, because I knew how much it would hurt the both of us. But I don’t think I can deny it any longer... Snowmen just don’t last into the spring...”
Already I was shaking my head. He was still right here with me, and already I was in the denial phase of my grief over him.
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” I choked through my tears. “I mean, you’ve been inside this whole time. You’ve been around fires, and in the kitchen at the bakery... If you were going to, you know... Melt, or whatever, wouldn’t you have done it by now?”
He smiled sadly at me. “It’s different, I think. Being in a warm room, versus living in warm weather, and a warm climate. There are a lot of things I don’t understand about this stuff, about what makes Christmas magic work the way it does. And I don’t know why this is happening. But I know that it is. And I can’t keep it a secret from you anymore.”
“Nole, please!” I openly sobbed, and slumped into his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him. “You can’t go... You can’t just... Just disappear from my life all over again! I can’t do it... I’m not strong enough to go through this again! And neither is Jule!”
He let me weep for a while, and held me in his arms, against that, broad, strong chest of his. Even as I cried, I could feel him shivering in his sickness, getting weaker and weaker with every moment that passed.
“Addison,” he said softly, after a long silence had passed between us, and gave my hand a squeeze. “I need you to know one thing. And that is that you are strong enough. You and Jule, both. You’re an amazing, smart, talented woman, and she’s an incredible, resilient girl. I love the two of you to death. And whatever happens, nothing will ever change that.”
“I love you too,” I said through a blur of tears. “And so does Jule. You’re more of a father to her than he ever was...”
“If I had a choice, I would never, ever leave you. I know I haven’t been on this earth for long. And I may not be for much longer. But however short my life has been, I need you to know that it’s been as full and as meaningful as a life could ever be. And that’s all thanks to you. To you, and to Jule. You two are my world. And it hurts... Lord knows, it hurts me more than words can say, to even think that I might have to leave you soon. But I’m afraid I might not have a say in the matter. Maybe none of us do. But please, no matter what. Never forget how much you’re worth. What an incredible human being you are. How much you’re capable of, and how much you deserve from the world.”
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t process any of this.
All I could do was collapse back into him, and whisper to him between sobs, “Thank you,” hoping it might somehow capture the enormity of how much he’d done for me, how much he’d truly changed my life, and how endlessly grateful I was to him for that.
But it was then that his words came echoing back to me, and it wasn’t long at all before they were all I could think about.
“If I had a choice...”
And I knew, right then, that I had a choice to make, larger than any I had ever made before in my entire life.
Chapter Nine - And to All a Good Night
Once upon a time, I would never have told you that living in a tiny little town like Aurora was like being nice and cozy in your own little slice of paradise. It could sometimes feel like the opposite of that. It was cold year round. The temperatures could be brutal from November through March. On certain days there was so little sunlight that you could barely even call it a “day” at all.
But this small Alaskan village, for all its quirks and inconveniences, was our home now. Because that was where our family was. Me, Jule, and Nole, the three of us snug as three bugs in a rug together in our toasty log cabin near a (mostly frozen over) lake.
We were together, and that was what mattered more than anything.
I hadn’t known whether it would work at the time, and neither had Nole when I suggested it to him. But up here, it was basically winter all the time. And when the two of us got off the plane to visit the tiny little town, desperately hoping that the change in climate would be enough to save him, though expecting very little, the change in Nole’s demeanor was instantaneous.
He stood up straighter. His eyes were clearer. His entire body seemed stronger, and when he spoke, it was with a clarity and firmness that was almost surprising to me, given how diminished he’d become over the course of the past several weeks.
“By God, Addison,” he said, breathing in the crisp cold air, and looking like an entirely new (snow)man. “I think you’ve done it. I think you might be the first person on earth to discover a loophole to Christmas magic.”
It didn’t take long at all for the waterworks to start in again, only this time I was smiling ear to ear through my tears.
It was, of course, a big decision, but one that I didn’t hesitate to make for a second. I talked to Jule about it, and though I didn’t get into the wackier, magical details, she didn’t blink for a moment when I told her it might be the only way we could save Nole’s life.
“Then what are we waiting for?!” she’d said to me. “Why the H-E-double-hockey-sticks aren’t we on the damn plane already?!”
I wish there were words to describe just how much I loved my daughter at that moment.
And sure enough we made the flight up to Aurora not much longer after that. We really had no choice, being unsure as we were as to how much longer Nole might survive the springtime heat of the continental U.S.
I signed Loveland from the Oven over to Susan, who was tired of working in an office and promised she would take great care of the business in our absence. The plan was to open up a sister location here in Aurora, and Nole would bake huge batches of his trademark gingerbread men, made with Christmas magic, for Susan to sell to customers and ship to various locations across the continental U.S.
Susan finally bit the bullet and hired some new workers, and gave sweet old Marie a generous retirement package at my insistence. Marie accepted, but still came in regularly to work the register according to Susan, pretty much offering up her labor for free (plus all the sweets she could possibly eat from the counter).
As I’d suspected, Marie was far less concerned about the money than she simply enjoyed being there and doing what she’d done throughout her entire life. And honestly, I was glad to know that her wisdom was being passed down to the up-and-coming young bakers Susan had hired to help staff the place now that I was gone.
I prayed that the original Loveland from the Oven would go on to survive for centuries more to come.
And so now here we found ourselves, in one of the coldest, most obscure parts of Alaska, but warm and happy together as a family, as
Christmas time rolled around once again.
“Open mine first! Open mine first!” Jule was yelling as she hopped up and down on Christmas morning with a package in her hand. “It’s to both of you!”
“Awww, thank you Jujyfruit,” said Nole, taking the package from her and handing it to me. “Would you like to do the honors, Miss Addison?”
Now six months pregnant with the little snow angel Nole had blessed me with, I slid my hand from my ever-expanding belly and carefully tore at the paper on Jule’s gift. Nole leaned over next to me to see, and once I’d turned the picture frame right side up I put a hand to my mouth, amazed and touched by what I beheld.
To this day, I’d still never told Jule the story about Nole had begun life as the snowman we’d built together in our back yard in Loveland, brought to life to be with us through the power of Christmas magic.
I mean really, would you tell your kid that story? If Jule didn’t even believe in Santa Claus, why would I ever expect her to buy into a story that was so much more insane than that?
But somehow, she must have figured it out on her own.
Because for Christmas this year she’d given us a sparkly silver picture frame with two photographs. On the right was a photo we’d gotten taken at a portrait studio earlier in the month, featuring Jule, Nole, and myself, as well as the unmistakable roundness of my belly.
What really astonished me was the photo on the left side of the frame, which I’d taken over a year ago and completely forgotten about. It was the selfie of me and Jule I’d taken standing in front of Nole, back when he was still just a snowman instead of the flesh and blood human being he was today.
At the base of the frame were the words “Then & Now, Our Growing Family.”
This time I blamed it on the pregnancy hormones, but the tears started spilling almost instantaneously at the sight of it.
“Oh, sweetie...” I said. “It’s perfect.”
“Come here,” said Nole, and pulled her onto the couch with us.
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