Because the cases were interrelated, to clear him of one would necessarily clear him of several, maybe all of them. Doubtful as that possibility seemed, the chance that Bundy really was telling the truth – that he was innocent – was sufficient reason to undertake the project. Conversely, we told him and Carole that the evidence of his guilt would be fully investigated, too, and that we would be constrained to share such information with the proper police agencies. His letter to us in November, about five months after we’d gone to work, outlined an entirely different understanding and signaled the impasse we reached with Ted a few months later.
We split the work. Hugh went to the state of Washington, then Oregon, Utah, and Colorado to retrace Bundy’s trail and to seek, as we’d agreed, the overlooked – or possibly suppressed – evidence that Carole’s dear “Bunny” was an innocent man. Consistent with his letter, but contrary to what we’d been promised, Bundy had absolutely nothing to offer – not a thread of exculpatory detail.
Nor did any of the many alternate suspects (Carole’s favorite subject) in any of the Bundy murder cases prove viable upon review. The “facts and circumstances which point toward innocence” Bundy mentioned in his letter to us dissolved into nothing, upon close scrutiny.
Meanwhile, I digested what Hugh learned, read over the enormous legal record, and then journeyed to Orlando, Florida, to attend Bundy’s January 1980 trial for the murder of twelve-year-old Lake City, Florida, schoolgirl Kimberly Diane Leach. Each day I attended court. Each night in my motel room, I conducted taped interviews with Ted, who spoke from a telephone in the Orange County jail.
He said he could not, at that time, talk about any of the cases against him. That would have to await his return to the Florida State Prison at the end of the trial. Therefore, beginning with our first taped conversation on January 8, 1980, Bundy confined our discussions to general biographical material. We began at the beginning, with Ted’s first four years of life in Philadelphia. He remembered those days fondly, recalling his grandfather Samuel Cowell as a mythic figure he adored as a little boy.
Apparently, he was repressing the truth. Seven years later, as part of an attempt to save his life by demonstrating Bundy’s insanity, a psychiatrist would characterize Ted’s grandfather as an abusive brute and worse.
We knew nothing about this in 1980, but we did know that Ted was illegitimate. In the first of many discussions we had on this topic, I wondered at what age he had first pondered the mystery of his parentage.
“Did I ever wonder about my father during that period of time?” he asked rhetorically. “No, I didn’t. Not that I can ever say for sure. Perhaps somewhere down in my little childhood mind, at the time, I probably did. But if at all, it was fleeting,” he said.
Logically, we moved on to Louise, Ted’s mother, who brought him from Philadelphia at age four to Tacoma, Washington, where she soon met and married Johnnie Bundy, a cook at a local military base, who became the father of her next four children.
“My mother taught me the English language,” Ted said from his cell. “How many times did she type my papers as I dictated them to her? (She) gave me great verbal skills.
“I would have written them out in shorthand but would dictate things I had left out. Or I’d insert different language. I became very good at thinking on my feet. All the way through high school and college, I never got below an ‘A’ on a major project. And I attribute that to my mother.
“But as far as Mom’s ability to communicate through writing, she has beautiful handwriting, very good vocabulary, but she never says anything! She says, ‘I love you,’ or ‘I’m sorry we haven’t written. Everything’s fine,’ or ‘We miss you. . . Everything will turn out’. . . Blah, blah, blah.
“My mother and I, and this well may go for all the kids, didn’t talk a lot about real personal matters. Certainly never about sex or anything like that.
“I don’t resent it, but I don’t know why this is. There’s something in her background that prevents her from opening up. ‘What’s happening? What’s going on? What’s happening with life?’ There’s this log-jam of feeling in her that she doesn’t open up and explain.
“I don’t think it’s necessarily a conscious avoidance of putting into letters newsy, gossipy kinds of things. She doesn’t even think about doing it. She’s not a gossipy person. She’s not a socializing-type person. She’s not a joiner in the sense she belongs to women’s clubs and card games and talks over the back fence.
“We never spoke about her childhood. Aside from the fact she grew up in my grandfather’s house, with my aunts and my grandma. On Roxbury Avenue, in Philadelphia. And that she was extremely successful in high school. The head of everything. Jesus! I read her yearbook. She was president of this and president of that. She headed up this committee and that committee. And had a straight ‘A’ average. Her big disappointment was that she had one ‘B’ in three years of high school!
“A terribly popular person. And then – I don’t know – something intervened.
“She’s an extremely intelligent person. But she masks it. She has a great deal of potential. But then at a point, it seems, she shied away. I can remember her having some resentment that there was only one scholarship offered in her school, and the richest girl got it. Of course, my mom didn’t have enough money to go to school.
“She never thought that was very equitable – that the other girl, who had straight ‘A’s, got the scholarship. Even years and years later, I detected a strong sorrow in her voice when she told me about it. She certainly has a lot of character, but she doesn’t project it. And she certainly did not try to transform her children into some image of what she wanted to be or what she thought she was.
“There’s no question that I was more influenced by my mom than by my dad. Because, in many ways, my dad injected himself even less into the psychological intellectual development of his children. Mom sort of ran the roost in many respects, although he was the acknowledged head of the family.
“Our life, as I was growing up, outside the home (was) centered around the First Methodist Church. Whether it was church camps in the summertime or pot-luck dinners or plays. Certainly on Sundays and holidays! Yet I wouldn’t call my mother a religious fanatic in any sense of the word. She wasn’t constantly reciting Bible verses to us or anything like that. As a child, I didn’t read the Bible unless I was absolutely forced to.
“I often babysat while Mom and Dad attended church events. They seemed to get so much out of it. I didn’t learn until much later that they had met that way – at a church social.
“I believe I attended Sunday school from the time I was in kindergarten all the way until I graduated from high school. We studied the Bible all through those years, but it amazed me in college that I had retained next to nothing about Christ or the Old Testament or my religion, in the dogmatic sense.
“The essential lessons were certainly clear. Especially the ones I adopted with glee during the Vietnam war. My poor mother had to listen to me talk about the hypocrisy of Christianity under the circumstances.
“On balance, my parents were apolitical. Except when it came to school-bond issues. My mother would always try to get out the vote for the school levies. That was her commitment to electoral politics.
“I guess you’d call my mother a Republican. I don’t know where Johnnie stands. He, even less than my mother, would venture opinions on political matters. I think that’s significant when you think how politically oriented I was.
“When I was a youngster, I don’t think we even subscribed to the local newspaper. Both of my parents were very frugal. Neither smoked nor drank. Lord knows, they couldn’t have afforded to if they wanted to.”
Ted was uneasy about Johnnie Bundy, and about himself. As far back as he could remember of his days as a boy in Tacoma, he chose to be alone.
“One of the reasons,” Ted recalled, “I believe I’m such a verbal person – that I feel I can get much more from listening than from reading –
is that in my younger years I depended a lot on the radio. I’m a radio freak!
“As a kid, I would listen for hours and hours to the Lone Ranger, Big John and Sparky, and all that stuff. I remember once I sent away for a little radio. It had no battery or plug. It was tuned by adjusting the length of the antenna. It had a ground wire with a clip and I would attach the clip to the rail of my bed. I’d go to sleep with that earplug in my ear and wake up in one corner of the bed wrapped up in the tiny little wires. I’d get under the covers and listen as long as I could every night. Never did understand how it worked!
“Later on when I was about in the sixth grade, I had a regular radio, and one of my favorites was a program on KGO in San Francisco, a talk show from about ten into the early morning hours. I’d really get into it. It was a call-in show.
“And as people would be calling in to speak their minds, I would formulate questions as if they were talking to me. I was very, very into news and news broadcasts, but I didn’t read very much.
“I would lie in bed for hours and hours, listening to news broadcasts exclusively. Meet the Press, or whatever. My favorite thing on Sunday nights was to hunt the radio bands for talk shows, call-in programs, documentary-like things. They’re still my favorites. I’d listen to talk shows all day rather than listen to music.
“People might think I was terribly serious-minded. But I genuinely derived pleasure from listening to people talk at that age. It gave me comfort. Often it didn’t matter much what they were talking about. And I realized, even then, that a lot of the affection I had for programs of that type came not because of their content, but because it was people talking! And I was eavesdropping on their conversations.
“I never discussed any of this with my parents.”
Ted’s early habit of isolation no doubt contributed to his later inability to integrate himself socially. Of course, as he revealed in a television interview broadcast nationally the day of his execution, as a boy he was already roaming his neighborhood and picking through trash barrels in search of pictures of naked women.
1980
January 9
“I never really got into organized sports, because it seemed so serious. Even as far back as Pee Wee football, the coaches drove the kids unmercifully. Long, sweaty, dirty practices! And very costly to buy the uniforms. My family didn’t always have the money – not comfortably so, anyway.
“I always felt I was too small. This feeling began to emerge in junior high school. That I didn’t have the weight or physique for sports. It wasn’t true, but I never pushed myself.
“My dad never had any feeling for it, none at all. He never came to my football games. My mom didn’t like it because it cost money. I didn’t have that parental stamp of approval. My dad never played baseball or basketball or football with me. We never threw the ball around. I was never trained in the basic sports skills.
“So I was all on my own. I attempted to get on the school basketball team and a couple of baseball teams, but I failed. It was terribly traumatic for me. I just didn’t know what to do. I thought it was something personal. I always thought I should do better. It was a source of some agony.
“I have to tell you. These kinds of innocuous admissions about always being concerned that I was underweight. . . not liking team sports and being traumatized by not making the hardball team. Whatever it is. Observations about my mother and not communicating in a way that was satisfactory for me. I’ve really never discussed this with anyone before.
“Not anyone! Not with my mom, my brothers and sisters, Liz (his one-time fiancée) or anybody. Maybe there’s never been an occasion for it. But you’d think there would have been an occasion for it, wouldn’t you?”
January 10
“It was not so much that there were significant events (in my boyhood), but the lack of things that took place was significant. The omission of important developments. I felt that I had developed intellectually but not socially.
“In junior high, everything was fine. Even went to some parties. Nothing that I can recall happened that summer before my sophomore year to stunt me or otherwise hinder my progress. But I got to high school and I didn’t make any progress. How can I say it? I’m at a loss to describe it even now.
“I didn’t understand it as much as I do now – and I don’t really understand it completely now. Maybe I didn’t have the role models at home that could’ve aided me in school. I don’t know.
“But I felt alienated from my old friends. Not that they didn’t like me, but they moved into broader spheres, and I didn’t. Whether the guys had cars or jobs or big bank accounts or fancy clothes – whatever it was – I didn’t seem to be able to grasp a lot of that.
“In high school, I would be characterized as shy to introverted. With exceptions. I loved skiing. I mean, I was basically responsive. I didn’t walk down the ball like a dummy. I spoke up in class. Believe me, if anything characterizes my classroom performance, it’s being precocious. I’ve always been that way. In those kinds of settings. It’s a formalized setting. And the ground rules are fairly strict. And your performance is measured by different rules than what happens when everybody is peeling off into little cliques down the hallway.
“I don’t know why. And I don’t know if there’s an explanation. Maybe it was something that was programmed by some kind of genetic thing. In my earlier schooling, it seemed like there was no problem in learning what the appropriate social behaviors were. It just seemed that I reached a wall, as it were, in high school.
“It never crossed my mind to see a counselor. I didn’t think anything was wrong, necessarily. I wasn’t sure what was wrong and what was right. All I knew was that I felt a bit different.
“My way to compensate for that was to say, ‘Well, I don’t go in for those things. I don’t like the drinking. I don’t care for this carrying on, the frivolity. I’m a serious student. I’m above all this.’ To some degree, that was my way of defending myself against something I didn’t want to admit I desired to be a part of.
“A lot of my pretensions about being a scholarly type, a person interested in serious studies, was really a defense mechanism. I was accused on a couple occasions of being aloof, arrogant, and snobby. But it was just this defense mechanism to protect my somewhat introverted nature. I used that to compensate for my outright fear of socializing. Maybe, also, it was a way to protect myself, because I couldn’t achieve those kinds of social goals that I wanted.
“Emotionally and socially, something stunted my progress in high school. Not that I ever got in trouble. Or wanted to do anything wrong.
“While I wanted to be a part of the secret societies and clubs, or whatever, I lacked either the social skills or motivation to do it. I seemed to be intimidated by the more gregarious people in my class – although I didn’t dislike them, either.
“Oddly enough, it was through my deep interest in skiing that I became involved with the most socially minded and socially active people in my class. But I still never really came out of my shell.
“There were all kinds of things happening to me mentally. I felt inferior, in part because of the money thing. My family didn’t have money problems per se, but I was always envious of the kids who lived in all those brick houses where the executives and doctors lived. I felt kind of deprived, at a disadvantage to those people who had the money, the successful parents, all the goodies.”
January 11
In his senior year at Woodrow Wilson High School in Tacoma, Bundy went to work as a volunteer in a local political race. The experience delighted him. Three years later he served as official driver for a Republican candidate for lieutenant governor. And in 1972, he worked for the GOP gubernatorial candidate, Dan Evans.
“Politics gave me the opportunity to be close to people,” he said. “To be socially involved with them. . . as a consequence of working with them. You get very close. You drink each night – and people sleep with each other. It’s a sort of built-in social life. Which I never
had.
“In my younger years, I was, as I’ve said before, socially unskilled. That’s one characterization, and it rings true. But politics gave me a lot. It gave me a direction and an education in a lot of things tangential to politics – things I needed to know. In politics you can move between the various strata of society. You can talk and mingle with people to whom otherwise you would have absolutely no access.”
January 12
Yet politics didn’t solve another developing problem, later diagnosed by a defense psychiatrist as a bipolar mood disorder: manic depression.
“You asked about my mood swings,” Bundy mused. “I’m very aware of them myself. Maybe it’s not quite accurate to use the term ‘mood swings,’ but it is hard for me to understand what happens. That is, to anticipate them or look back and try to determine some pattern. I’ve been able to make neither rhyme nor reason out of what happens.
“It’s not dictated by the cycles of the moon or anything else that I’m aware of. And again, perhaps the phraseology ‘mood swings’ isn’t accurate. It’s just changes. It’s harder than hell to describe, but all I want to do is lay (sic) around. I’m not motivated to do anything! I just consume huge volumes of time, really, without doing a thing.
“I’m not particularly depressed. There’s just no momentum. There’s no desire to do anything. It’s just blaaaah! It cannot be characterized by depression or deep sadness.
“I don’t dwell on sad things – but I sure as hell could! I don’t dwell on the heartache. I do dwell on the nicer things. Even in those lackadaisical periods, I’m capable of being genuinely cheerful and gregarious. At least for a limited period of time. Whatever the situation calls for. Then, (just) as quickly, I’ll slip back into the pattern of just vegetating.
“It became a part of my character, of my facade, that I would conceal these periods of inactivity, as it were. It’s really a combination of being inactive, with no motivation or direction.
Ted Bundy Page 2