by Presley Hall
He stops kissing me, and his hands go still. I pull back, meeting his eyes. I can already see the disappointment in his expression, the veiled hurt, thinking that I’m about to reject him again, that I’ll deny the bond and run away from him.
Except… I don’t want to do that.
Fuck, I don’t like hurting him. I hate hurting him. And it’s pretty clear that I’m not able to deny myself or our bond. I can’t keep my hands off him. I can’t stop wanting him, and there’s absolutely no willpower left in me to keep fighting against it. The soul-deep urge to succumb to the mate bond is so powerful that it overrides everything else.
I do want him, so badly that even now I just want to keep kissing him and letting him touch me. I want Axen. All of him—body, heart, mind, and soul.
But I can’t ask him to be mine or agree to be his, to give us both what we want, with this secret between us. If he rejects me after finding out, then at least I’ll know that, and we can stop dancing around these half-measures and terrible lies. It’ll all be out in the open. He’ll know that I’m not denying him because of any failing on his part. I’m the problem. He’ll stop hurting, thinking that he’s lacking somehow, or that he’s not good enough.
He might hate me, he might be disgusted by me, but at least he’ll know.
Nausea rolls up in my gut as I put my forehead on his shoulder and wrap my arms beneath his, careful of his wound. He makes a quiet noise, nuzzling my neck, his hands spreading out wide and warm down my spine. I feel sick, even as I prepare myself to confess. Prepare myself to be rejected.
My stepfather didn’t want me, and it’s very possible Axen won’t want me either, once he finds out. I can’t force him to be a stepfather to my baby, and I don’t want my child to grow up with a father who hates them. Axen might be angry that I slept with another man. He might not want anything to do with the kid, and it’s within his right to feel that way if he has to. But he can’t feel anything if he doesn’t know.
I stay in his lap. If this is the last time he touches me, I’m determined to make it last.
“I have to tell you something,” I whisper. “There’s something you need to know.”
“What is it?” His voice goes soft with concern.
I hesitate, closing my eyes. I can’t look at him when I tell him. Back on Earth, I prided myself on being in control, confident, and unflappable, but right now, I feel more vulnerable than I have in a long time.
“Before we all left on our mission from Earth… well, I didn’t know if I was going to survive. I didn’t know if or when I would come back. Space travel is still new to Earth, there are a lot of risks of crashes or getting lost in the stars.”
He hums quietly, nudging his nose against my pulse. He’s clearly trying to get me to raise my head, but I stubbornly refuse and cling to him tighter. His hands settle warmly on my waist, as though holding me still, grounding me.
“I spent a night with a man from a bar before I left Earth,” I tell him. “It was meant to be one reckless, daring thing I did before I left Earth. And I used protection, but it… it failed.” I clench my eyes tightly shut, bracing myself for the blow. “I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby.”
Axen is quiet, utterly still. My heart feels like it might pound right out of my chest as I wait for him to respond. Useless adrenaline floods my veins, making my stomach churn.
Oh God, I’m going to be sick. I’m—
He makes a low noise, catching my chin between his fingers. I blink and look up at him, swallowing back the worry that’s crawling up my throat. There’s no revulsion in his expression, no dismissal, nothing but quiet concern and gentleness as he cups my face.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.
“I didn’t know how you’d react,” I whisper, tears burning the backs of my eyes.
His brows draw together. “This is… that’s why you thought you couldn’t be my mate?” he guesses, his eyes widening when I nod. He frowns, looking stricken. “Elizabeth, my kira, how could you think that?”
“My stepfather never liked me.” I swallow again, trying to get ahold of myself and keep my voice even. “He didn’t want me. I was just something unpleasant he had to deal with to be with my mom. I… I was raised by someone who wasn’t my father, and he resented me for it. I didn’t want my child, or you, to have to go through any of that.”
Axen blinks at me once, slowly, before something in his face seems to shift. There’s a steely look in his eyes, that same determined fire I’ve seen in him so often. My heart skips a beat, and I shiver when he pulls me into another deep, ravenous kiss, his hands flattening on my hips and grabbing tightly.
“I will love every child you have,” he growls against my mouth.
I gasp in surprise, my eyes widening when he scoops me up and shifts our positions, lifting me up and planting me on the bed beneath him as he stretches out over me.
“I will love them because they are yours.” He laces our fingers together and slides them up until my knuckles hit the wall by the head of the bed. “And I will give you more. As many as you desire.”
“Oh, God.” I moan as he drags his fingers down my arms.
He cups the back of my neck with one hand and kisses me while his other hand works at the ties of my makeshift shirt, unraveling it to expose my breasts. He trails his lips down my neck, over my rushing pulse and across the flush of arousal on my chest.
He nuzzles between my breasts and holds me down by the hips, pressing my thighs apart so he can slide his cock between my legs. When he takes one nipple into his mouth, curling his tongue around it and sucking lightly, I whimper, arching up.
Axen’s hands tug at my skirt, practically ripping it in half so he can get it off without moving from his place between my legs. His loincloth follows quickly after, landing somewhere on the floor, already forgotten.
I feel like I’m floating, lost in the intensity of the connection between us. After holding onto my fear for so long, I can hardly process Axen’s reaction to my secret. I can hardly believe it. Whenever I contemplated telling him, I pictured several different ways it might go—but I never imagined this.
I’m so wet and sensitive from my recent orgasm that even the brush of his cock against me is enough to make me moan. Shifting his body lower, he trails kisses from my nipple to my hip, scraping his teeth lightly over my skin.
He breathes in, nuzzling my flat stomach. I bite my lower lip, instinctively wanting to cover myself and shy away, still caught up in the old impulse to hide my pregnancy. But I don’t move. I’m overwhelmed by the reverence with which he kisses my skin, touching me with such tender care.
“Axen,” I whisper. He looks up, his expression so full of raw adoration it makes my mouth go dry. “Please.”
He smiles, his eyes soft and burning with hunger all at once.
“Whatever you desire, my kira,” he purrs, and plants warm, open-mouthed kisses over my thigh until he reaches my pussy. He breathes in and lets out the breath in a ragged growl. He wraps his big hands around my thighs, keeping me spread out and open, and licks broadly over my entrance, through my folds, flicking my clit with the tip of his tongue in a way that makes me cry out and arch again.
Axen’s answering noise is possessive and victorious. He noses my clit again, then tilts his head upward, circling the little bud with his tongue before giving it hard licks as he sucks it between his lips. My thighs tremble as I moan loudly, writhing, pinned in place by his large hands.
He groans in encouragement, still licking and sucking at me, his fingertips digging into my hips and ass. My heart can’t seem to calm down, and my breathing is unsteady. It feels so good to finally let go and just enjoy this, to have this beautiful man gazing up at me with fierce devotion in his eyes.
He wants me.
He will always want me, no matter what.
Even pregnant with another man’s child, he wants me. And not just me. He wants my baby too—wants to give me more kids.
Tears of ov
erwhelming relief well up in my eyes, and I come with a choked-off scream, grabbing his hair tightly as I arch off the bed and shudder against his tongue.
He moans, continuing to lap at me, eyelids drooping and shoulders hunched up. I twitch and gasp with the aftershocks of pleasure, trying to get control of myself. Every touch of his tongue makes my knees jerk, spreading out wider. My stomach tenses rhythmically, my breath coming in unsteady gasps.
That orgasm was just as intense as the one he gave me in the woods, and I can’t think of anything but how good it felt, how well my body responds to him, how badly I want him to keep going.
I want to make him feel good too. I need it.
He keeps licking between my legs, tongue curling around my clit since he’s obviously figured out how sensitive it is. I whine softly, clenching my fingers in his hair, and force myself upright. He allows me to pull him up with one last parting nuzzle to my swollen, wet flesh. He smiles at me, growling softly when I kiss him and slide a hand down his stomach to grasp his cock again, which is hard once more and practically throbbing in my hand.
“I want you, Axen. Inside me,” I whisper.
He pulls away enough to look down at me, and I watch his pupils go wide enough that only a thin ring of amber is still visible. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. About all of it.”
His expression shifts, and I know he understands what I mean. I’m not just talking about sex. I’m talking about the bond. About us.
“I want you too, my kira,” he murmurs. “There is nothing I will ever want more.”
Slowly, Axen’s hands interlace with mine, pinning them down on either side of my head. He spreads his knees a little, encouraging me to open wider for him.
Drawing my arms together above my head, he seals my wrists in the grip of one large hand before cupping my face with the other. His thumb brushes my lower lip, making me part them. When he leans down and kisses me, it’s so deliberate and possessive that it makes my toes curl and my fingers clench.
His free hand moves lower, slides down between my breasts then over my stomach. He rests it there, exhaling a gentle hum. It’s not a sound of revulsion, but one of rapture.
He cups my hip and holds me still, rubbing his cock head against me. My breath hitches and my heart stutters every time the broad tip rubs somewhere sensitive.
Finally, when I think there’s no way I can take it anymore, he pushes inside me. His cock is thick and unyielding, just like the rest of him, and we both groan at the feeling of being connected like this at last.
“God, Axen.” My nails dig into his back as his hard length fills me completely. “Fuck.”
He kisses me hard, and when we have to break apart to breathe, he presses our foreheads together, pinning me with his burning amber gaze. “I never knew,” he rasps. “I never knew it would be like this.”
I want to tell him I didn’t either. That even though I’ve had sex before, I might as well be a virgin too, because nothing has ever felt like this. It’s the most intense pleasure I’ve ever experienced, and it steals the breath from my lungs, making it impossible for me to do anything but cling to him as it washes over me.
He lets go of my wrists and gently cradles the back of my neck, his thrusts so deep and hard that I feel him everywhere. I wrap my legs around him and hold him close, seeking those sensitive nodes I felt earlier and running my fingers over them. Axen rumbles against my neck as he fucks me, the node at the base of his cock making my clit throb.
“Axen,” I whisper urgently. “Oh, fuck. Oh, God.”
I’m not sure if I’m asking him to speed up or slow down. I don’t know what I’m asking for. All I know is that I’m about to come so hard I’ll probably pass out.
He grunts, another one of those rough, beast-like sounds that turn me on so much.
His lips press kisses to my neck just below my ear, and he grips my hips, tilting them upward a little. The shift in angle means he slides in even deeper, and the ache in my body is delicious and perfect. I claw at his shoulders, selfishly urging him on as I feel my stomach begin to tense, my toes curling.
I bite down on his shoulder as my third orgasm of the day roars through me, somehow managing to blow the first two out of the water.
My inner walls clench around him as I let out a breathless cry, trembling all over.
Axen groans, pressing me down and kissing me, thrusting deep inside me as I ride out my orgasm. His grip on my hips is so tight that I can’t really move them, giving me only enough freedom to whimper and arch as I writhe on his cock.
I meet his eyes, my vision hazy at the edges. I can’t tear my gaze away from him as his eyelids droop and his nostrils flare wide. His strong jaw clenches, the markings on his body glowing brightly as he rocks into me again and again. And when he finally follows me over the edge, it’s the most breathtaking thing I’ve ever seen.
His cock pulses and jerks inside me, and I squeeze around him, trying to draw it out as long as possible. The sound that pours from his lips is like nothing I’ve ever heard from him before—it’s agony and ecstasy all rolled into one, relief and desperation and hunger.
The weight of his body settles over mine as we both go limp, clinging to one another like we’re afraid we’ll get swept away if we don’t.
“Rhael,” he whispers, holding me tightly and kissing me. “My sweet mate. Thank you.”
He’s trembling, and I bite my lower lip, finally blinking my way past the incredible high to worry for him. He’s still wounded, after all, and that was a lot of physical activity we just did.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, reaching down to gently touch his side, feeling the wound where the stitches start below his arm. He’s been healing well, and I don’t feel or see any blood from the stitches tearing. But he’s very warm and breathing hard, which makes worry flare inside me. I don’t want him to be in any pain.
He nuzzles me, and kisses his way to the top of my head. He pulls out, and I moan weakly at the sudden feeling of emptiness, turning and pressing into his arms, seeking warmth and closeness. He holds me eagerly, that soft growl still rumbling in his chest.
“I’m better than I’ve ever been,” he murmurs into my hair. “I’m perfect.”
“That was a lot of moving you just did,” I insist, still gently prodding at his stitches.
He chuckles. “I would do it again, one thousand times,” he promises, then cups my chin, tilting my head up so our eyes can meet. “Nothing could have stopped me from claiming my mate. Not pain, not injury, not death.”
I smile, not fighting against the rush of warmth in my chest. He leans down and rubs our foreheads together, then our noses.
It’s the easiest thing in the world to tilt my chin up and meet him for a kiss.
19
Axen
The next morning, I wake up with my mate in my arms.
The sun on Nuthora shines just as brightly as any other day. It, too, must be eager to see her, for it streams in through the window of my hut and illuminates the room, and her beauty within it.
She is so breathtaking. Her face is softened by sleep, and her full, pink lips are slightly parted as she breathes steadily in my arms. Still, the set of her jaw and the lines around her eyes tell me that, even in her dreams, she is determined and driven.
But there is not a single bit of tension in her body. She is safe with me, and she knows it.
The thought makes me smile as I lean down to bury my nose in her hair to breathe her in. She smells like the wilderness, and even better, she smells like me. It’s such a delicious thing, to feel her, to acknowledge the imprint of my scent on her skin, to know that she is mine and I am hers at last.
My cock starts to harden at the memory of claiming her last night. My fierce, beautiful mate. I’m so grateful that she finally told me what was causing her so much distress, although it pains me to think that she worried I wouldn’t accept her because she is already carrying a baby.
No matter what happened
in her past before she met me, it could never change how I feel about her. It will never change my desire to be with her, to worship her and keep her safe.
Her, and her child.
I close my eyes, my chest rumbling quietly at the thought of her growing heavy with child, even if it’s not mine. It will not be the last she bears. I will give her as many children as she wants, and I’ll love them all.
My cock has hardened to the point that it aches, pulsing with arousal. I slide my hand down her hip, nuzzling her as my breathing picks up. She stirs, grinding against me, and mutters a soft cry of my name. I kiss her neck, holding her tightly against me as I rut against her backside, breathing hard.
She moans sleepily and reaches back to wrap her fingers around my cock.
“Axen?” she murmurs. “God, that feels so good. I dreamt about you. I need you… I always need you.”
With a harsh breath, I rise up and roll her to her back. She smiles up at me, gray eyes hazy as early morning fog. I kiss her desperately as she guides me between her legs.
Her channel is so warm, and so tight—impossibly tighter than how she felt around my fingers. She’s so responsive to my touch that it drives me wild. Everything about her begs me to go deeper, harder, to give us both more, more, more. I want to spend the rest of my life with those sweet, frantic moans in my ear, her nails in my shoulders, her teeth in my skin.
I hold her close and rock our bodies together, feeling neither exhaustion nor strain. The clench of her body and the sound of her pleasure, knowing she is mine, could sustain me for the rest of my life. I don’t need water, or food, or anything to numb the pain when I have Elizabeth.
She finishes a moment before I do, her wet heat squeezing my cock so hard my vision goes white. I moan shakily, stroking her thighs, her hips, and her arms as I kiss her and nuzzle her fluttering pulse. By all the gods, this woman undoes me like nothing else can.
As we both catch our breath, I pull her into my arms to keep her warm. She rests her head on my shoulder, absently tracing the patterns of my markings with the tip of her finger. It’s a pleasant sensation, and the sunlight is making the hut warm. I kiss her forehead and sigh contentedly, letting myself bask in the feel of her touch.