by Presley Hall
“Don’t be.” Droth’s expression is serious. “You did the right thing. I would rather risk a fight than lose two people under my protection.”
His sincerity makes me smile, though it’s weak. The anti-venom and nectar of the plant that increases heart rate is hitting me. I can feel my pulse thrumming in my neck, and it’s not just because of lingering fear and worry over Axen’s state.
Droth regards me for a moment longer before he gets to his feet. “Rest,” he commands, and then he leaves.
Kaide looks at me, then down at my stomach when I put my hand on it.
“I can check the baby’s status,” he offers. I tilt my head, and he seems to understand my unspoken question. “The original scanner I used on you isn’t designed to pick up things like pregnancy, but we have something that can.”
I swallow, my heart in my throat at the thought that there might not be anything to detect, that the venom might’ve been in my system too long. That I might’ve lost the baby. But I force myself to nod.
Kaide crosses the room toward the small collection of medical equipment. Once the small structure was built, it became the storage place for the meager supplies of medical tech the Voxerans have. I haven’t even gotten a chance to go through it all and figure out what everything does, so I’m glad Kaide is familiar with the item he needs.
As he deals with that, I let out a breath and turn to look at Axen. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but my mate does seem to look a little better. His lips are parted, his breathing even and slow, although shallow.
He’s so strong.
So fucking fierce.
I can’t believe he fought that monster and still managed to help me to safety, even on the verge of death. Tears fill my eyes, and I reach out and take his limp hand, squeezing it gently.
“You have to make it,” I whisper, hoping he can hear me. “You have to live to see our child, Axen. You have to stay with me, all right?”
He doesn’t answer. I didn’t expect him to, but it still hurts. He’s always been so reactive. Usually, even my presence makes his breath hitch and his eyes go dark. I would give anything to see his eyes in this moment, to have him look at me and smile and growl my name into my hair.
Kaide returns a moment later with a small boxy-looking thing like a tiny old television set. It’s attached via a thin cord to a scanner similar to the one he used on me when I first started feeling strange, before I even knew the cause.
He kneels down beside me, and I hold Axen’s hand even tighter as Kaide powers the machine up. He checks the screen of the machine before he holds the scanner near my stomach and begins to move it around.
For a long, heart-stopping moment, there’s nothing. No heartbeat, no visual. Then the screen crackles and changes. Kaide angles the scanner, dragging it down, his brow furrowed as the black and white image flickers. I swallow harshly and close my eyes.
It might be too soon to hear a heartbeat, I tell myself, doing my own mental calculations.
It takes six to eight weeks for an ultrasound to detect something like that, and we’re right within the margin. The scanner is old and primitive compared to the bits of alien tech I saw on the Foreigner II. It might not even be made to pick up a pregnancy, despite Kaide’s assurances.
“There we go,” he whispers. I open my eyes and frown at him, then at the screen. He smiles, cocking his head to one side. “Do you hear that?”
“No.” All I hear is the crackling of the machine.
Kaide hums. “The whine.”
My frown deepens, and I hold my breath to listen. Then, finally, I hear it—it’s high pitched and barely audible, as if I have tinnitus. He points to a tiny, gray nugget in the corner of the screen and angles the scanner closer to it. The whine gets louder, and my eyes widen.
He gives a satisfied nod. “If you listen very carefully, you can hear the pulse. That means there are tiny movements, signs of life.” He catches my gaze. “The baby is fine.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, tears flooding my eyes as relief washes through me. “Thank you for checking,” I force myself to say through my tears.
Kaide turns off the machine and begins to pack away the scanner. “Of course. Axen would have my head if I let his mate or his child die.”
“You don’t have any control over that.”
“Perhaps not. But still, I owe it to him to take care of you as best I can.” His usual cocky expression turns grave as he looks to Axen, then back to me. “All will be well,” he promises. “Axen is one of the best fighters I know. He’s strong. You both are. And so is your child.”
I swallow, my throat aching with a knot of worry. I hope like hell he’s right.
“I’ll leave you be.” Kaide glances toward the door. “I need to help Droth and the others maintain the border.”
“Thank you,” I tell him. “For everything.”
As soon as he’s gone, I plaster myself to Axen’s side and cover us both with a blanket, resting my hand on his chest so that I can keep track of his breathing. Despite the heaviness of my eyelids and the crash of adrenaline finally fading from my system, leaving me exhausted and shaken, I know I won’t be able to sleep. I won’t allow myself to sleep. I need to be here, to be awake, when Axen wakes up.
I stay with him through the rest of the day and into the night. We’re only interrupted by Droth bringing food and confirming that no arwuars followed us home, that the settlement is safe. I eat, making sure to keep some food set aside for Axen when he wakes up.
I’m so worried about him, but I force myself to be as calm as I can. It’s difficult, even knowing that he’s still breathing. I swallow harshly and wrap myself around him to keep him warm, listening to the village fall silent around us. I hear the sounds of the other Voxerans and women as they wake at dawn, continuing to rebuild. I should be out there helping them, but I can’t bring myself to leave his side.
It feels like a lifetime, a century and a half, before Axen draws in a deep breath and his lashes flutter. I push myself up onto one arm, my eyes going wide as he groans, smacking his lips together. I turn around and fetch water, wringing a cloth into his mouth to give him some. He coughs, groaning again, and opens his eyes.
“Hi,” I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks as I stare into those beautiful amber irises.
His lips twitch into a smile and his chest rumbles with a weak purr. I feed him more water and tenderly wipe his mouth. My heart leaps as he makes a quiet noise and blinks rapidly, his gaze sharpening.
He’s alive and awake. He’s going to be okay.
“Elizabeth,” he murmurs, smiling. I drop the cloth and press my lips to his, overwhelmed with relief. His arm wraps around me, weak but warm. His other hand cups my face. “My kira, don’t be sad. I’m here. I’m here.”
I’m so exhausted and relieved that all I can do is rest my head on his chest and hold him tightly. “I was so worried about you.”
He sighs, threading his fingers through my hair. “You are my mate. I couldn’t leave you.”
No, he couldn’t. I couldn’t have left him either.
I lean up and kiss him again and again and again, needing to reassure myself that he’s here, that fate hasn’t torn us apart. He answers every kiss I give him, his breathing shallow, his heart beginning to race under my hand.
“Rhael,” he breathes, his eyes glazed.
Yes.
“Yes, Axen. I’m yours,” I whisper, pushing his sweaty hair from his face as I kiss him once more. “And you’re mine.”
25
Axen
I’m yours. And you’re mine.
As we rest together later, those remembered words soothe every bit of pain crawling along my skin like stinging vines. Elizabeth is lying down beside me, fast asleep. I’m certain she stayed up nearly the entire night, watching over me to make sure I recovered from the arwuar’s venom.
My love for her is like a physical ache, making my chest feel tight and my heart beat harder, as if my body can’t contain
it all.
I have never known love and satisfaction like this, and I know I never will again. She is mine, my mate, my everything.
Memories of her terrified voice and her cries for help still echo in my head, alongside her sweet promises. As I watch her sleep, pale and exhausted but safe in my arms, I know that I would slaughter one thousand arwuars, travel the entire planet and destroy any threat to her in order to keep her safe.
I place my hand on her bare stomach, a soft smile curving my lips. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep them both safe. My mate and my child, and all the future children I know she’ll give me. I hold her close, tugging her more tightly against my chest.
After a while, she stirs, her lashes opening slowly to give me a glimpse of those beautiful gray eyes. She turns her head and smiles at me, shifting in my arms, her hand gentle on my cheek.
“I was so worried for you,” she whispers, her voice raspy from sleep. I rest our foreheads together. “I was so scared of losing you.” Her breath hitches, storm clouds gathering in her eyes; lingering grief, pain, and fear. I want to kiss her and wipe it all away. “What you did for me? For the baby? Axen, I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”
I want to say that it’s not a transaction. I would willingly have bled and died for her and our child. My love was never conditional, I have meant that since the moment I knew she was mine. I would do anything for her, fight and kill and defend, even die if I must.
I don’t say any of that, for I’m sure she knows. I kiss her tenderly, the cling of her lips warming me like nothing else.
“I defended what I love,” I tell her, putting my hand on her stomach again.
Elizabeth blushes, her cheeks coloring like the first pink light of dawn. A new beginning. She holds the future inside her, and I am so honored that she chose me to be a part of that future.
She meets my gaze and draws a lock of my hair forward, dragging it lazily between her fingers.
“I love you too,” she whispers. She nestles closer against me, one of her thighs warm on the outside of my own as she embraces me. “I’ve never known anyone like you. You’re the best, most honorable man I’ve ever known. My stepdad wouldn’t have lifted a finger to protect me. You risked your life for my baby.”
“Our baby,” I say. She smiles widely, her eyes softening with adoration. I brush my thumb below her navel, caressing the bare, soft skin. It will swell soon, and grow, making room to accommodate the life she carries. My beautiful, perfect, fierce huntress. My proud and insatiable mate. “If you’ll allow me to call myself its father. I don’t care that it isn’t mine by blood. The child is mine. I will protect and care for it as though I sired it myself.”
She shivers, sliding her fingers to the nape of my neck and pulling me into another kiss.
“I was so afraid,” she confesses when we break apart. “I was terrified for so long. I’m a woman of science—I take evidence and trends and form conclusions from them. I’ve never met a man who loved a child that wasn’t his as much as he would have loved his own. I made false assumptions based on it.”
I hum, not sure what to say to that. I can only repeat what I have known in my heart from the moment this all started: that I will love her, and want to make her a mother, and just because someone else put a child inside her doesn’t change that.
“I didn’t want to be like my own mother,” Elizabeth continues. “I thought, having this baby alone, that I would. And that you would be like my stepdad.” She sighs and shakes her head. “I was wrong. We’re nothing like them. I realized, when you said the poison might harm the baby, that I’m not like my mother at all, because I want this child. Even if I didn’t expect this, and even if it’s scary to think of what the future will bring, I still want it. I’ll still love my baby, no matter what.”
“Is it all right?” I ask, suddenly reminded of the danger of the venom.
She nods. “Kaide checked. Everything is fine.”
Relief washes over me in a powerful wave. I push myself upright, grunting in pain, and lay her down on her back so that I can bend low and kiss her flat stomach. She slides her fingers into my hair, and I kiss my way up her body, her neck, her jaw and red cheek, until I reach her lips. She smiles against my mouth, hands wound tight into my hair and pulling me into a second kiss as soon as the first one ends. I love her so much, my entire body burns for her, even weakened and injured.
I kiss her deeply to show her that I am strong, that I am alive, that I will continue to fight for and defend her. She moans, arching against my chest as I hold her.
And despite my injuries, I’m more than willing to devote every ounce of strength I have to showing her that I’m not going anywhere.
26
Elizabeth
A few weeks go by, and Axen makes a full recovery, much to my relief. The painkilling grass does wonders for both of us, and my leg heals up nicely, leaving me with only a small pink scar. Axen touches it often, his face a mask of both guilt that I was injured and fierce pride that I survived.
We both did.
And now I know that, together, we can make it through anything.
I’m walking with Charlotte, admiring the work she did with the other women in incorporating bricks into the new settlement. The new buildings look sturdy and much less flammable, which I know will come in handy should the raiders or another band of prisoners try to break through our defenses a second time.
I have a little baby bump by now, and can’t stop touching it. Ever since I noticed it, it has enthralled me. I’m going to be a mother. There’s a little tiny human being growing inside me. It’s so surreal and wonderful, and I can’t wait to meet my firstborn son or daughter.
Charlotte and I walk toward the medical facility, which Axen and I have been perfecting while he heals—again. He’s a capable and dedicated helper, distilling plants and helping me label and shelve things, which is all I’ve been letting him do during his recovery. The other Voxerans have handled the outside, but the inside is all us. Between what we’ve gathered and the future trading expedition, I feel a lot better about being prepared should one of us fall ill or get wounded on this vicious planet that seems so determined to kill us all.
“It’s really coming together,” Charlotte says with a smile, nodding to the building.
I grin, beaming with pride at the sight of it. “Yeah. I’m pleased with what we’ve managed to do.”
It’s far from a giant hospital, and certainly not any more impressive than the other huts and buildings in the village, but it’s mine. This is my purpose, to be the village doctor. To help take care of the Voxerans the way they’ve taken care of us.
Charlotte notices my hand on my stomach, and her grin widens. “How have you been feeling?” she asks, gesturing with her chin toward my little bump.
“Good,” I reply, and it’s the truth. “No more nausea or dizziness. The morning sickness only lasted for a little while, thank goodness.”
“It’s a little scary.” She scrunches up her nose, looking around us. “Having a baby in a place like this.”
I nod. “It is. But humans have been having kids in far worse places for millennia before we invented hospitals.”
Even as I say it, I have to admit I’m a little nervous. Now that I know how effective those painkilling grasses are, I’m less concerned about the pain. The biggest worry is if something goes wrong. I’ve been teaching Axen a little bit of my medical knowledge, and we have Kaide as well, who’s capable enough. Still, I hope that my baby proves to be an easy, straightforward birth.
I force my shoulders to relax, drawing in a calming breath. I have many months before the baby comes, and it won’t do me any good to stress out about it now.
“This entire planet is terrifying,” Charlotte continues. Then she hesitates, one corner of her mouth lifting in a lopsided smile. “But it’s a little less scary with a big strong Voxeran who loves you.”
“That’s the truth.” I grin at her, huffing a laugh. I have no
idea how I’d be coping if I didn’t have Axen, and I know she feels the same way about Droth.
We lapse into comfortable silence for a moment before her expression turns serious. She glances down, clearing her throat, and then says, “I think I might be pregnant too.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Are you sure?”
She shrugs. “No. Not completely. I’ve told Droth I suspect, but I’ve only missed one period, and even then, I might just be late. My body is probably out of whack with all the stress and upheaval, so maybe it’s that.” She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth and turns to face me. “But to be honest? Even though I haven’t confirmed it yet, I feel like some part of me knows. It’s real. It’s happening.”
I gasp and pull her into a hug. I’m taken off guard by her confession, but also not surprised in the slightest. Given how often I hear them together, and the fact that birth control doesn’t seem to be a thing on this planet or maybe even in Voxeran culture in general, it was only a matter of time before she got pregnant.
“That’s huge,” I say when we break apart. “I bet Droth was thrilled.”
She grins, her cheeks turning a little pink. “Yeah. If I wasn’t pregnant when I told him what I suspect, I’m pretty sure he knocked me up immediately after.”
I throw back my head and laugh at that. The spark of attraction between Axen and me hasn’t faded one bit since the bond first manifested, and it seems like the other two mated pairs in the village are in the same boat.
We walk and talk for a while longer, discussing the possibility of raising our children together in this tiny haven of a village, an oasis of peace on a dangerous alien world. It took me a long time to stop feeling freaked out about my pregnancy, but the idea that my baby will have someone to grow up with eases another tiny piece of the worry in my chest.
We’re building a life here, and babies are part of that.
One of the very best parts.