by Quinn Ward
“Teo, there’s more to intimacy than penetration,” I told him. “Some people need to feel close to others in order to feel attraction.”
“So I’m not a freak?” His question was muffled.
“No more than I am.” I placed my hands on his shoulders and put enough distance between our bodies that I could see his face. “Do you think I’m a freak?”
“No.”
“Then why don’t you let me help you and we’ll see what happens,” I suggested.
“Okay.”
Instead of taking the clothes from me, Teo stood, holding his hands over his head. His knees bowed together as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. When he sucked that plump lip into his mouth again, I reached up to pull it free.
“Such a beautiful boy,” I praised him as I slid my hands under the hem of his shirt and up his sides. “Do you want Daddy to get you ready for playtime?”
He nodded but wouldn’t lift his gaze from the floor. I crooked a finger beneath his chin. “Tell me, Angel. You need to use your words.”
“I… I want you…” he stammered, stopping to take a deep breath before he looked directly into my eyes. Before he tried again, he stood a bit straighter, shoulders squared. “I want you to get me ready… Daddy.”
My dick, which hadn’t gotten the memo that today wasn’t about sex, twitched upon hearing the term of endearment hesitantly cross his lips.
Rewarding him, I lifted the shirt over his head, letting it drop to the floor behind us. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, Angel.”
If this was more than me helping him discover his little side, I’d have leaned in to kiss those supple lips. As if he knew what I was imagining, he dragged his tongue over the skin.
While I turned to get the tee I’d picked out for him, I adjusted myself as best I could without drawing his attention to my discomfort. I wouldn’t—couldn’t—put him in a position where he felt pressured to do something he wasn’t ready for.
I expected Teo to balk when I tugged at the drawstrings of his pants. Every time I’d gone anywhere near his dick, he’d tensed, but his anxiety seemed to have eased with his limits having been discussed. I dropped to my knees, dragging the fabric down his legs. Looking up to check on him was a pleasant mistake; he wasn’t fully erect, but he wasn’t flaccid, either. My boy was getting into playtime. Too bad for him, I had rules of my own.
Ignoring his budding arousal, I lifted one foot, then the other to get his pants out of my way, repeating the action as I slid his undies over his calves and thighs. He groaned when the fabric grazed his cock, hips bucking ever so slightly.
“Nuh-uh, boy,” I scolded him. “You don’t get to change the rules after we start.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t… that just felt good,” he admitted.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” I promised him. If he wanted, we’d talk more about how this made him felt later, but I could tell he was already sinking into his little side and I didn’t want to break that.
Instead, I led him back to the table and held the chair out for him as he sat. “Why don’t you color a picture for me?”
His eyes widened and a smile wide enough his face could’ve split in half appeared on his face. “How did you know I like to color?”
“Lucky guess.” Bradley used to say coloring was a way for him to tune out the noise in his head, which was an issue I suspected they had in common, but I wouldn’t tell Teo that.
“What are you going to do?” He looked up at me, his brow furrowed.
That was a good question. In the past, I’d have worked on getting dinner ready or my own assignments, but there was none of that here. I patted his cheek. “Don’t worry about me. I’m going to sit back down and relax for a bit.”
The crease in his brow deepened. “That doesn’t sound like much fun. You could color, too.”
I chuckled, loving that he was so concerned about my enjoyment. Eventually, he’d realize all I needed to be happy was seeing him at peace. “We’ll see. You find a picture to color and I’m going to go fill your cup.”
“And get my donuts?” The ten bucks I’d spent this morning had more than paid off to see his delight with the sugary treats. But he needed to remember his manners. I placed a hand on my hip and quirked an eyebrow. Teo pursed his lips a moment before amending his request. “Can you please get my donuts for me? I won’t make a mess.”
“Absolutely, Angel.”
The electricity roared back to life as I reached the break area. I checked on Teo, surprised to see his head still bowed, right hand moving rhythmically as he colored. The door to the apartment opened and I held up a hand to stop Denny and John. “Try to not disturb him. He’s having fun.”
“What the hell, Levi?” John hissed as he gaped at his friend.
“He wanted me to help him relax, so I did,” I answered.
“Just like that?” John followed me to the fridge, snatching the cup out of my hand. “He seemed freaked out about all this last week, and now he’s cool as a cucumber. What gives?”
“Like I said, he just needed a little reassurance and help relaxing,” I answered, careful to not betray Teo’s confidence.
“You think it’d be okay if we shoot now?” Denny asked when he joined us. “That’s got to be about the best testimonial you could hope for that the furniture is comfortable. Daddies are going to break your site trying to buy.”
John looked to me for guidance. “I don’t think he’ll mind. When you need him to move around, let me know.”
“Oh hell no,” Denny protested. “You need to get your ass into the apartment and change. Find a pair of dress pants, black socks, and a button-down. You wanted to play Daddy for the day, now you’re going to get your chance.”
“Do what now?” John and I both asked at the same time, then laughed because it was a quirk we’d picked up from our fathers that our mothers hated.
“Levi, you said yourself that John’s customers need to be able to imagine themselves in the spaces we’ve set up. What better way to do that than to show them how functional the space can be?”
John thumped me on the back when I started coughing, causing me to spill Teo’s juice all over the floor. That made him laugh even harder and I glared at him. If he wasn’t careful, we were going to jerk Teo out of the headspace Denny just praised me for helping him find.
“Fine, but you’re not using any of the pictures until after we talk to Teo about it,” I insisted. And that wasn’t going to happen before we got started because I was anxious to see how today played out.
5
Matteo
I squinted to shield my eyes from the blinding light when the electricity came back on. Levi wanted me to sit here and color, clearing my head, but it wasn’t so easy when hearing him on the other side of the room talking to John and Denny distracted me. They were too far away for me to make out their words, but occasionally, Levi’s tone took on a serious, almost angry tone. I rested my head on my forearm, trying to block out everything but the picture I was bringing to life. The chatter in my own mind began to quiet, and I felt my entire body relax. I was no closer to understanding why this worked, but it would be easy to grow addicted to feeling less frantic all the time.
“Wow, that’s amazing.” I startled when Levi placed a hand on my back. When had he come back? “How are you feeling, Angel?”
“Good,” I admitted. I set the blue crayon on the table and closed my eyes when Levi began gently kneading my shoulders. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s perfect, Angel.” I loved that he had chosen a nickname for me even more than I liked it when he called me Teo. Angel was something no one else called me. Once this was all over and I went back to my normal, boring life, I’d never be able to hear the word without thinking back to how he made me feel.
“Denny’s going to start taking pictures of you now,” he told me, kneeling next to me with his hand resting at the small of my back. “Is that okay, Angel?”
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br /> “Can I keep coloring?” I asked. It was another of my quirks, as Mama called them; I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything for the rest of the day if I didn’t finish the picture I’d started.
“That’ll be fine,” he told me. When he stood, he bent down to kiss the top of my head. When he straightened, I heard him inhale deeply, as if he didn’t want to leave my side.
For the first time since he’d instructed me to sit down, I looked up at him and noticed that he’d changed out of the graphic tee and baggy jeans he’d worn earlier. “You changed your clothes.”
“I did.” He didn’t offer any explanation, so I assumed he might’ve spilled something. But why would he put on dressy clothes? Oh yeah, because he’d given me his spare clothes because I was the scatterbrain who got himself caught out in the rain this morning. “I’m going to sit in my chair. When you finish coloring, why don’t you come over and see me?”
“Okay…” I wanted to say the word again. I wondered if he liked it when I called him Daddy. It was still weird to me, but I was beginning to like thinking of him that way. It wasn’t anything perverted, but more a title for someone who took care of me.
I let out a sigh and rested my chin on my hand. Levi was instantly back at my side, running his thumb across my forehead. “What’s this about, Angel?”
“I like this,” I responded, realizing that didn’t explain why I was moping. “I didn’t think I would, but I do. Coloring, I mean. Okay, I like coloring, but this is different. I used to color and draw all the time, but then I stopped because I grew up.”
Levi draped an arm over my shoulders, kissing the side of my head again. If he didn’t watch it, my lips were going to get jealous of my hair. I wanted to know what his lips felt like against mine. “Why don’t we talk more later? Right now, just have fun being little again. There’s nothing you’re too old to do as long as we’re here.”
Right now. As long as we’re here. I didn’t appreciate the reminder that there was a time limit on letting go this way. “Will you sit by me?” I looked up, curling my fingers around Levi’s to keep him from leaving me.
“If that’s what you need, absolutely.” Levi pulled out the chair next to me and took a seat. The cup he’d taken to fill, along with my donuts on a matching plate, appeared from somewhere. Man, I was really out of it because I hadn’t even noticed who brought them over. The first time I lifted the sippy cup to my lips, I felt a bit silly, because it was so obviously something made for a little kid, but I gave it a chance when I caught a glimpse of Levi’s approving look and his quick nod. “Thank you for my juice.”
“Anything for you, Angel.” He pushed the hair away from my face and motioned to the coloring book. “Why don’t you finish this up and then we can see what else there is to play with.”
“Okay.”
The rest of the day flew by with Levi guiding me from one area of the set to the other. Unlike last week when I’d been hyperaware of every set of eyes on me, I barely noticed John and Denny moving around the loft.
When they called a wrap, I found myself reluctant to get up from where I sat on the floor playing with my toy cars. It’d been years since I’d raced cars through imaginary tracks.
“Angel, it’s time to get changed so we can go to dinner,” Levi told me.
“Okay, Daddy,” I responded, letting out a huff of disappointment. This was the end of my time to let go. The end of my time with him.
Levi led me to where he’d carefully folded the spare clothes he’d loaned me earlier. “Do you want to leave those on? No one will know but us.”
“I can’t keep these clothes,” I protested. Not only were they John’s, but I couldn’t risk Mama finding them when she cleaned my room. How could I explain underwear that looked like oversized versions of the dungarees she bought me when I was a little boy? Yeah. No thanks.
“If you like them, they’re yours,” John called out from where he was busy packing up the props we’d used today. “Not like I can resell the underwear, so they’d just wind up in the garbage.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. They were cute, and I liked the way they made my butt look. “Can I think about it?”
“Take as much time as you need,” Levi assured me. “How about if you wear them to dinner, just to see how it feels knowing you’re not being yanked out of little time?”
“I’d like that.” And I loved how he seemed to read me so well. “Thank you.”
Levi gathered the sweatpants and kneeled in front of me, once again helping dress me. Taking care of me. It felt nice.
“Would you like to ride to dinner with me or with John?” Levi asked. John and Denny were already hauling the totes they wouldn’t need for the rest of the shoot down to John’s truck, but I got the impression they were trying to give us some private time, too.
I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, tracing over it with my tongue. For the first time, my gut started twisting with anxiety. Playing like this with Levi had been a job so far. If I took his hand and followed him to his car, I knew myself well enough to know I’d start wishing for more than just tonight and I wasn’t sure he wanted that.
“You’re thinking too hard,” he whispered as he tucked my hair behind my ear. He kissed the skin there and I almost turned on him, telling him to either kiss me like he meant it or stop, because I couldn’t take much more of his teasing. “It’s just dinner, Angel. You don’t need to think about anything beyond that. One step at a time.”
“But what if I want more than just dinner?” I asked, not sure where in the heck that had come from. My hands shook and I couldn’t look at him after the words were out.
“We can talk about that after dinner,” he promised me. “If you’d like, we can go back to my place to talk.” I opened my mouth to protest, because that sounded an awful lot like a booty call, but Levi pressed a finger to my lips to silence me. “Don’t worry, Angel. I haven’t forgotten your limits. I only thought it’d be easier to talk in private and didn’t want to invite myself to your place.”
Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. It would be embarrassing enough to have him pull up in front of my childhood home; I couldn’t imagine admitting that I still lived with Mama because I couldn’t remember to do the simplest tasks for myself sometimes.
“That’s probably a good idea,” I told him. Levi had many opportunities to push my limits, but so far he’d been frustratingly respectful. I was starting to think I might want him to push me. At least a little. “I’m sorry if I’m a bit of a headcase. I do this a lot where I try to run through every possible scenario in my mind, and I always get tripped up on the one that worries me the most.”
Levi laughed, a rich, throaty sound unlike the half-hearted chuckles I’d heard from him until now. “I’d already figured out that much, but thank you for being so forthcoming with me.” He opened the door to the stairs and ushered me through, quickly catching up to place his hand at the small of my back again. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You just did,” I teased. Levi swatted my backside, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to tell me it’d been intentional. And damn if that wasn’t another thing I hadn’t realized I’d like. “Sorry, go ahead.”
Levi pushed a button on his key fob and the lights on a compact hybrid car flashed. He opened the passenger’s side door, leaning in once I was seated. He pulled the belt across my chest and buckled it, kissing the tip of my nose as he backed out. It wasn’t until he was settled behind the wheel and pulling into traffic that he finally shared what was on his mind. “I don’t want you to try to figure out the answer you think I want, just say the first thing that comes to your mind.”
“Okay.” I scraped a hand through my hair, twisting my fingers around the ends and tugging. A lump formed in my throat and I worried I wouldn’t be able to get anything out once he finally asked his question.
“Relax.” Levi took my hand, sliding his thumb back and forth across the skin. “When you were playing today, how was your mind?�
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“Quiet,” I responded without hesitation. “It was nice to not think about all the different ways I could screw up for a change. I do that a lot. Frankie says I’m my own worst enemy, that I worry so much about doing something wrong that I don’t pay attention to doing things the right way.”
“Who’s Frankie?” The slight growl in the back of Levi’s throat both made me nervous and thrilled a bit. I still wasn’t sure what I wanted from him, but it was new to have someone who seemed almost jealous of someone else being an important part of my life. I debated teasing him a bit as a way of testing the waters because I’d rather know as soon as possible if he was some possessive jerk, but I couldn’t be that mean to him when he’d been nothing but kind to me.
“Frankie’s my oldest brother,” I explained, smiling when Levi’s shoulders sagged. “There are five of us, just so you know. Frankie, then Freddie, Tony and Enzo are the twins, then there’s me. We all work at the restaurant our Nonno Marino opened, and Frankie’s in charge.”
“Five boys, huh? Your parents must’ve had their hands full.” Levi let out a low whistle.
“Mama swears she wouldn’t have it any other way,” I responded. Mama got upset when people assumed she felt like she’d missed out on something by not having any girls. She didn’t, because she’d never believed in the gender roles a lot of families in our community held to. According to her, boys were just as capable of cooking, cleaning, sewing, and anything else as girls were. “And now she spoils the heck out of Sophia, my niece. She’s Freddie’s little girl.”
“Are any of your other brothers married?” Levi asked, signaling before merging into the left lane. I figured out quickly that we were heading to the burger joint John was obsessed with. Finally, an end to the healthy food.
“None of them are right now, actually,” I clarified. “Freddie was, but she was a witch who took off on them. He was raising Sophia alone until Peter moved in. Now, they’re together and looking for houses, so I wouldn’t be shocked if they get married at some point. And Frankie’s engaged to Calvin. Tony probably won’t ever settle down with anyone, and who knows what the deal is with Enzo. And now I’m rambling. I do that, too, sometimes. See, this is what happens. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, so I just babble. You shouldn’t have told me to say the first thing that came to mind because I could go on forever.”