by Quinn Ward
“Are you upset with me?”
“Upset? No. But it was disappointing to find out from someone else rather than from you. How many times have we talked about the need for honest communication in order to make this relationship work?”
“I know, Daddy.” I slumped down in my seat, shifting toward the door to put some distance between us. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but at the time I wanted one thing that was just for me. I know my explanation probably doesn’t make sense to you, but my entire life I’ve let other people help me figure out what I should do, and this felt like a small step in taking control and proving to myself that I could function without someone else guiding the way.”
Daddy didn’t say anything in response, which put me on edge. If he’d lashed out at me and told me he was angry, I could’ve dealt with that. The silence, however, was deafening. So far, the articles I’d written had only been about my experiences and what it meant to me to be little, which was how I’d rationalized not needing Daddy’s permission before sending them. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
Daddy didn’t say anything the rest of the drive, and by the time we pulled up in front of his apartment, I was half expecting him to turn around and drive me back to Mama’s house. I prayed that wasn’t the case. When Daddy got out of the car, I stayed in my seat, waiting to see what he’d do. I finally let out the breath I’d been holding when he opened my door and leaned across my body to unbuckle my seatbelt.
“Come on, Angel. Let’s go inside so we can finish talking about this.” He reached for my hand and I relaxed a bit more, still worried about what was going to happen once we were behind closed doors but grateful that I hadn’t pushed him away.
As soon as we were inside the apartment, Daddy told me to go to the bedroom. I had a feeling I knew what was coming, and I’d take my punishment without complaint. One of the things I loved the most about Daddy was how he never disciplined me without reason, and the punishment always fit the severity of what I’d done to disappoint him.
I could hear him in the other room and strained to figure out what he was doing. When he walked into the bedroom holding a bowl of ice cream with two spoons, I was shocked. That wasn’t at all what I’d been anticipating. He set the bowl on his nightstand and headed for the small dresser he kept for me in the corner of the room.
“Strip down, Angel. It’s time for you to get comfortable.” I couldn’t hide the smile when Daddy pulled out a pair of undies for me. “I know it’s been difficult on you for me to be gone so much, and it’s past time we set a few more rules.”
Daddy kneeled in front of me, tapping my foot. He pulled the underwear up one leg then repeated the actions with the other, leaning in to kiss my thigh before standing. My dick twitched to life, eager to show off what I’d been doing over the weekend other than working and writing. But to do that, I’d have to find courage I wasn’t sure I possessed because the idea of telling him, or worse, him insisting that I show him, embarrassed the heck out of me.
Daddy led me to the bed and propped pillows behind me. When he sat next to me and held an arm out I curled into his side and let out a sigh, happy to finally be home. Home, I’d learned, wasn’t a place, but it was a feeling. And Daddy was the one who made everything quiet and right in the world.
“I’m proud of you for going after something that you want,” he praised me. I gaped at him, confused because he’d seemed upset earlier. He held up a finger, stopping me from responding in any way. “The only thing that upset me was finding out what you’d been doing from Denny. I wish you’d have trusted me to let me know this was something you were going to do.”
“But I did,” I protested. The night John had first made the suggestion, I’d told Daddy it was something I wanted to do. “Maybe I didn’t tell you I’d made a decision, but I honestly didn’t see the problem in doing it. In some ways, it’s also been a way for me to work through everything that’s going on in my head.”
“Again, that’s something I wish you’d trusted me to help you with.”
I was beginning to understand just how important trust was to Daddy. And it seemed the two of us had different ideas of how to show that to one another.
In my mind, I proved to Daddy how much I trusted him every time I lay across his lap and begged him to spank me. It was the moments I allowed him to see me at my most vulnerable, knowing he’d never do anything to expose my secrets. Even today, he’d been very careful to not say or do anything that might seem off to someone who didn’t understand the way we lived inside this apartment.
“That’s why I think it’s time for us to set a few more ground rules,” Daddy repeated. He scooped up a bite of ice cream and fed it to me, holding the spoon in my mouth until the ice cream melted. When he withdrew the spoon, he leaned in for a kiss, pressing his tongue against the seam of my lips until I opened for him. He hummed, and I swore I felt the vibration through my entire body. When he sat up, breaking the kiss, I tried chasing after his lips. Kissing Daddy would always be preferable to talking. “Patience, Angel. I promise nothing I have to say will be too scary, but I’m sure neither of us like the way we’re feeling right now. Getting things out in the open will help keep that from happening again.”
“You’re right, Daddy.”
“Of course I am.” Daddy chuckled. He flicked the tip of my nose; it was such a random gesture I couldn’t help but laugh. Daddy slid a hand down my side and wedged it between my butt and the mattress. He gave me a gentle squeeze and rolled me to my side, resting my head on his chest. “Moving forward, I want you to come to me before you make decisions. It’s not that I don’t trust you to make good choices, but I want to know that you value my input. Unless there’s a reason for it, I’ll never tell you you’re not allowed to do something, especially if it makes you happy.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I eyed the ice cream, wanting another bite that’d hopefully lead to more kissing. Tonight wasn’t going as I’d hoped, but I had no idea how to get back to the fun stuff I’d been imagining. I slid a hand down Daddy’s chest, smiling when he stilled as my fingers neared his jeans.
“Is there something you want, Angel?” Daddy’s voice took on a deep, raspy tone. He chuckled when I nodded, reclining on the bed. “Don’t think this is going to get you out of a punishment later.”
I clenched my butt, anticipating what he’d do to me later. Every morning since he’d left town, I’d spent time memorizing the stripes he’d laid across my skin. As of this morning, they’d faded to the point I could barely see them, and that’d been the start of my downward spiral. “I understand, Daddy.”
He flicked open the button on his jeans before planting both of his hands on the mattress. My mouth watered as I scooted down the bed, fingers fumbling with the zipper pull. Daddy curled his fingers around my wrist, applying pressure until I stopped shaking.
It made no sense that I was more nervous tonight than I’d been the first times we’d fooled around, but something had shifted during this trip. My brothers kept commenting on how much more settled I seemed, which was ironic since I felt out of sorts the entire time Daddy was gone.
The place I’d called home my entire life stifled me now. When I was there, I had to hide away huge pieces of who I was, even with everyone knowing that I was dating a man. I’d counted down the hours, then the minutes, until Daddy picked me up to bring me back here where I belonged.
Sensing my anxiety, Daddy combed his fingers through my hair, pressing my head onto his thigh. I lay there with my eyes closed, nearly falling asleep. The musky scent of Daddy’s arousal accompanied every inhale, enticing me to pull down his boxer briefs and take him into my mouth.
“Missed you, Angel,” Daddy whispered as he continued finger combing my hair. “I hate when you’re not with me.”
“Me too, Daddy,” I admitted. Until now, I’d carefully avoided telling him how much I despised the nights I had to go home, not wanting him to view me as clingy or trying to invade his space. He hummed in response, leaving me to won
der what he was thinking.
I noticed little things when I was with Daddy, like the way the coarse hair tickled my lips as I kissed my way across his hips. His thighs tensed as I neared his dick. I wrapped my hand around the base, awaiting Daddy’s instructions. No matter how much he praised my mouth, I preferred when he told me exactly what he wanted me to do. “That’s it, Angel. Suck the tip, but be careful with your teeth.”
I parted my lips and obeyed without hesitation, moaning at the first tangy taste of his pre-cum. I moaned as I sucked harder, flicking my tongue through his slit, greedy for another taste of him. Daddy struggled to stay still as he ordered me to take him deeper. I wished he’d let go and fuck my face the way I loved, but he knew best, and if he thought I needed tonight to be a slower, more tender pace, I’d trust him.
“So good to me, Angel. Such a good boy for Daddy.” I smiled around his dick, squaring my shoulders a bit with pride. I liked being Daddy’s good boy. Loved when he was proud of me. His voice turned hoarse, his breathing labored, as I sucked him harder, almost deep enough to bury my face against the trimmed thatch of hair. I felt Daddy’s hand on my butt, gently kneading the flesh. Hoping he’d take the hint, I shifted, trying to get his fingers to slide into my crease.
Even though I’d freaked out the first time we’d tried having anal sex, I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. That’s why I’d spent the times Daddy had to go out of town for work researching how to make it good. And practicing. I still wasn’t sure how it was going to work trying to take him into my body, but I was determined. I closed my eyes and tried clearing my mind the way one site had suggested. It worked, to the point I was so relaxed Daddy’s dick slipped out of my mouth. He swatted my backside. “Focus, Angel. I’ll give you whatever you need when I’m ready. Finish me off.”
Daddy twisted his fingers in my hair, shoving my mouth back onto his dick. I fought to breathe as he bucked into my mouth. My eyes watered, tears streaming down my face by the time the first spurt of Daddy’s cum coated my mouth. I moaned, redoubling my efforts to not let any of his release spill from my mouth.
“Such a beautiful boy. I’m a lucky Daddy, having you in my life.” His rambling praise continued as his body jerked through his orgasm. Daddy yanked me on top of him as he panted, trying to catch his breath. He skimmed a finger down my cheek before gripping my chin, dragging my mouth to his. My legs fell to the mattress, so I straddled his lap. I was painfully hard and needed the relief of friction as I ground against his spent dick. Daddy winced. “Easy, Angel.”
“Sorry.” I stilled, afraid I was hurting him.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” he reassured me. His fingers dug into my flesh, holding me against his body. “You’re getting bolder about going after what you want. I’m proud of you, baby. Now, you want to tell me what’s gotten into you tonight?”
I buried my face into Daddy’s chest, suddenly embarrassed about the prospect of admitting what I’d been up to. Only my arousal and the memory of how good it’d felt when I found my prostate the other night gave me the courage to look into his dark eyes. “I want you to play with me, Daddy.”
“And what is it you want me to do?” he asked, his fingers dipping into my crease. The tip of one digit grazed my hole and I stiffened. Closing my eyes, I recited the mantra I’d been using to relax. I’m safe with Daddy. He only wants to make me happy. He’d never hurt me. Over and over, I repeated the words as he pressed against my entrance, never breaching me. This much had never been an issue for me, but tonight I wanted him to push my limits.
“I want to feel you inside of me, Daddy,” I pleaded. My breath came in shallow pants as I settled my cock in the crook of his hip, grinding slowly. “It doesn’t have to be tonight, but I want to work toward that.”
His hand stilled, but he didn’t retreat or push me away. “Tell me why that’s important to you, Angel. You know I can’t deny you anything, but only if you want it for the right reasons.”
My research had begun as a way to get through bottoming for Daddy because I’d do anything to make him happy. The more I’d played, the easier it’d been for me to relax, and eventually, I’d found myself wishing Daddy was home so he could get me off. I ran over several replies in my mind, but all of them fell short.
“I… you… I…” I stammered, struggling to string words together. Daddy started rubbing my back and I closed my eyes, breathing in and out the way he’d taught me. “If I’m ever going to do this with anyone, I want it to be you.”
“I told you it’s not a deal breaker for me if you decide you never want to have anal sex,” he reminded me. “You’ve given me so much of yourself, I could never take more than you’ll give me of your own free will.”
“I do want this,” I insisted. To convince him that this was something I needed, I had to come clean with him. Remembering the times he’d told me serious conversations shouldn’t be clouded by sexual need, I rolled off him and curled into his side, still needing the reassurance that he was there for me.
“Why?” he pressed, rolling to his side so he could stroke my cheek.
“I’m not sure I can explain it,” I admitted. “When you were gone, I looked up some sites to figure out what I was doing wrong the last time.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Angel.”
“Maybe that’s not the right words, but you can’t deny it wasn’t the way either of us wanted the night to go. And maybe I won’t ever get into it, but I don’t want a single bad experience scaring me off.” As I rambled aimlessly about what led to this decision, I stared at the ceiling. Daddy kept petting me, humming when I paused to acknowledge that he was listening.
When I finished, Daddy didn’t respond. I listened to his breathing, trying to figure out if I’d bored him to sleep. He shifted beside me, propping himself up on an elbow. “Then I guess there’s only one thing to do.”
“Anything, Daddy.” I held my breath, waiting for his guidance.
“Strip.”
13
Matteo
Strip. A shiver raced through my body at the command. Daddy’s gravelly tone echoed off the walls of his bedroom. Before either of us could think our way out of this, I pushed down my undies and lay back on the bed.
“Not here, Angel.” Daddy pulled his arm out from under me and sat up. He crooked a finger as he walked to the bathroom. “We need to get you ready first. I want you clean before I get you all dirty.”
My heart raced, wondering how he intended to prepare me to get fucked. I’d read about the various things a good bottom should do, but the idea of him giving me an enema had me ready to bolt. Besides, it was unnecessary, because I’d done the most research on making sure I didn’t embarrass myself when we finally reached this point.
I stumbled as I shuffled my feet behind him. Daddy turned around, pursing his lips. “Are you coming or not, Angel?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I fought to will my feet into motion, wishing I had the cell phone that was still in my pocket, wherever my pants had wound up. Then, I’d be able to show him how meticulous I’d been over the past week, preparing myself for this eventuality.
I froze when he pulled out a huge rubber bulb. He turned on the taps and held a finger under the stream, adjusting the temperature until he was satisfied. “If you want to get to the fun, you need to come here.”
“I… I don’t need that,” I argued, pointing to the supplies on the counter. Daddy ignored me, filling the bulb.
“If you want to have sex tonight, you will get over here and put your hands on the counter,” Daddy demanded. “Do you or do you not trust me to take care of you, boy?”
“Yes, Daddy,” I responded without hesitation, but still I couldn’t move. “But really, I’m probably clean enough already. I’ve been careful about my diet to make sure there weren’t any problems.”
“Is that why you barely ate anything at dinner tonight?” Sure, we could go with that. I hadn’t eaten because my stomach had been tied in knots, knowing what I hoped to accomplis
h tonight. “I’m proud of you for being proactive, but that’s not going to get you out of routine hygiene, Angel.”
Routine? What in the ever-living hell was he talking about? The idea of suffering through an enema once in a lifetime made me shudder; hearing that Daddy planned to make this a routine? Nope. Not happening.
“Now, would you like to get in place or should we go back to bed?” Daddy asked. He leaned against the vanity, appearing calm and patient, but I could see the fire in his eyes. He was serious about this; if I refused the cleansing, the night’s fun would be over.
The porcelain of the sink felt like ice beneath my palms. My head hung low between my shoulders as I widened my stance. The sooner Daddy started, the sooner I’d be cleaned out. This was one step I would be forced to endure for his sake.
Smack! I yelped as fire broke out across my butt. Daddy reached between my legs and massaged my balls. Crack! “Such a beautiful boy,” he praised, sliding his hands over my burning flesh. “You’ll take everything I give you tonight, won’t you, Angel?”
“Yes, Daddy,” I panted. My butt burned and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to dodge the next blow or lean into it. Daddy kept one hand on my dick, stroking slowly as his other assaulted my flesh. Closing my eyes, I blocked out my fears, fully absorbing the pain and pleasure of every blow. “More, Daddy. Please. Need… more.”
Daddy kept me on edge, sometimes striking hard and fast, other times barely allowing his fingers to graze my butt. My mind swirled for a while, trying to anticipate what was coming next, then everything went quiet. I no longer cared what was about to happen as long as Daddy kept going. My dick leaked a steady trickle of pre-cum as I bowed my back to get closer to him.
Then he was gone. I longed for more of his touch as the thoughts that plagued me started to awaken again. But before I could beg him to keep going, I felt the press of something cold and hard at my entrance. Logically, I knew what was about to happen, but I no longer feared it. I craved it because Daddy wanted me clean and I’d do just about anything to please him.