by Blair Holden
“Great, everybody get your sexy on. So what if we can’t go to some fancy dance where they serve foie gras? Let’s go to a club and get trashed on cheap alcohol and beer nuts.”
You know, I do have a good feeling about this. Sure, my boyfriend is out perhaps having fun with the Harvard girl (yes, I Googled), and maybe she’s wowing his entire family by her lack of controversial family members and drama, but I refuse to sit here and conjure up scenarios where Dick drugs Cole, smuggles him and Cindy Jr. to Vegas, and has them married by a Cher impersonator. Trapped into marriage, they’ll have no option but to wait out a certain period for annulment, and in that time, he’ll fall in love with her and I’ll have no one to cry to except Jason because, like a zit, he waits for the worst time to pop up.
You realize why I need to go out and get some fresh air, right?
Chapter Ten: Is That a Euphemism?
“I’m sorry, Officer, but I think there’s been a mistake. My girlfriend couldn’t possibly have done that. She doesn’t even know how to throw a punch the right way.”
“Not for a lack of trying, though; we’re big supporters of women who want to learn self-defense. My girlfriend, for example, could totally have done that.”
“You mean the one in all black? Yeah, she’s a pretty feisty one, we told her she didn’t need to join our little party here but she insisted she be jailed with her friend, no woman left behind.”
“That’s my girl!” Travis whoops and someone, I assume it’s Cole, must punch him since the next minute he yelps in pain.
“About Tessa, you have to see that she’s obviously innocent here. We went to the club and we saw the security footage. It clearly shows that she was provoked. These girls came up to her, and from what I could tell were trying to start an altercation. You can’t be serious…”
“I understand where you’re coming from and trust me, from the amount of drunk crying and pleading Ms. O’Connell has been doing, I can tell that she’s a very good girl who has never even gotten a parking ticket before.”
“It’s the truth!” I yell from the jail cell, my arms flailing outside the bars. “Officer, you have to believe me!” I hiccup, “I didn’t mean to. She was just…she was being so mean,” I whine and am mortified to find tears trickling down my cheeks again!
“Aw, honey, come here. We made the mean girl go away, remember?” I’m engulfed in a group hug. Given the events of the night, my friends have surprisingly remained calm and collected, even Megan. I would assume being locked up in prison would be the worst possible scenario in her mind, right up there with getting an A-.
The love and support in our friendship is great; it’s showing me that we can overcome anything, even if it is a spontaneous staging of our own version of Orange Is the New Black. Sister solidarity for the win!
Or we could all just be hopelessly drunk.
Our hug is broken up by someone banging on the bars of the cell. “All right, fabulous four, why don’t you break it up and tell these gentlemen here what exactly happened.” Behind the massive frame of Officer Graham stand two very confused yet angry men and one distant figure looming in the background.
“Wait, is that Jay? Hey, Jay, Jay!” I wave to him. “I haven’t seen you in so long!”
He gives me a tiny wave back and drops his hand immediately when his brother gives him a look. I can only imagine what the look is, but it could be very similar to the one he gave Bentley when he volunteered to put sunscreen on my back, completely innocent, of course.
“Tessa…” he begins, and the girls let out a collective “ooohh.”
“He called you Tessa and not that adorable nickname he has for you! I think you’re in trouble.” Cami giggles and soon everyone is laughing, but not me.
“Cole.” My lip begins to wobble and I can’t believe that I’m about to cry for the five hundredth time.
“Hey, Shortcake, don’t cry.” He clasps my hands in his through the bars. “Everything is going to be okay. We’re going to talk to the nice police officers here and try to figure this out. But you’re going to have to tell me what happened, okay? Right from the beginning. How did you get in a fight and whoa there, tiger,” he notices my bruised knuckles, “who taught you how to punch?”
I shrug. “Travis.”
He curses under his breath and I flinch. Beside us, Beth and Travis seem to be having a similar conversation, but if it’s possible, theirs is going much worse than ours is.
“Focus, Tessie, focus. What happened?”
“Oh, I can help you out with that! I recorded the whole thing. See, there was this one episode of CSI where the friends don’t—”
“Ms. Sharp, the phone, please.” Apparently Officer Graham does not take well to hiding evidence and hiding cellphones in your unmentionables. The one shred of proof that could help me forget this entire nightmare ever happened in the first place is confiscated, and I can only hope that it was the fight she filmed and not the very scandalizing and probably illegal sex worker trade that’d been going on. I mean the kind of club that accepts four extremely amateur fake IDs without even blinking an eye isn’t going to be a very reputable institution in the first place.
“So right now, we’re looking at underage drinking, fake ID, and an altercation.”
Travis hisses on the other side, “Do you think we really needed this shit right now?”
“Hey, listen, Mr. Holier Than Thou, don’t you dare come in here and start lecturing us on model behavior. Maybe Tessa here might have a better record of your history of problems with law enforcement.”
Ouch, so I guess I’d been right, Travis and Beth are definitely having problems.
“Cut it out, guys, we don’t need to be at each other’s throats right now. Just…” Cole takes a deep breath and I’m struck by an overwhelming sense of guilt. Here I’d been wanting this night to be drama free for the Stones, for the gala to be successful and free from the curse of the O’Connells. I’d considered my dad to be the root of all our problems only to have turned the tables and ended up ruining everything.
I sniff. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this to happen, I swear. We weren’t doing anything wrong, but then this group of girls turned up and one of them seemed to know who I was, or rather she seemed to know you. I…maybe I shouldn’t have had so much to drink, but there was Stephanie, and Cassandra’s no longer on my team, and you were wearing a suit, and I just couldn’t handle it.”
My embarrassingly shaky speech ends with Cole laughing across from me. I wipe at my tears while he continues to grin adorably at me.
“Why are you laughing? You shouldn’t be laughing! I took some law courses this year, okay? I know what the punishment for…” I begin counting my offenses on my hand only to realize that I’m running out of fingers, which obviously does not bode well for me.
“I can’t go to prison, okay? I mean it, I really can’t. Between the negative press and people thinking I’m suicidal and Dad’s latest scandal, this is the last thing that should happen, because there’s only so much O’Connell drama the world needs right now.”
“I concur,” Travis adds, and he and Beth go back to glaring at each other.
The corner of Cole’s mouth lifts and he clears his throat. “So you’re sorry? And you promise to never indulge in underage drinking or sneaking into clubs with a fake ID ever again?”
“Well, that’s a really long period of time, you know,” I say nervously. “I can probably guarantee that I won’t purposely do it, but you know between her,” I jerk a thumb toward Cami, “and her,” the second thumb toward Beth, “I really don’t know.”
Cole sighs, then hisses under his breath, “Just tell the officer that you’ll be a model citizen from now onward, Tessie. Say it like you mean it, anything you remember from drama class would help right now too. He doesn’t seem too convinced.”
“Oh, okay.” On cue my lip begins to wobble and I turn to the man that arrested us. “Dear Officer…”
***
“So
who wants to make a day trip out of our hearing? We could get hot dogs, try that amusement park everyone’s raving about.” Cami seems too chipper for someone who just got released on bail and has a hearing in a few weeks.
I lean my head against the car window and enjoy the cool wind of the air conditioning. My body feels hot, my hands clammy, and my heart won’t stop racing. Cole forces me to drink more water as he drives us back home. In the other car, Travis is driving Beth and Megan, and I hope the three of them make it in one piece. Poor Megan looked scared for her life when a bickering Travis and Beth got into his car.
“So who do I need to thank?” I ask Cole without looking at him. Now that I’m feeling slightly sober, the embarrassment has hit an all-time high. I can’t believe that after promising him that I wouldn’t interfere with his night, forcing him to take another girl to the gala, I ended up making him drive an hour out of town to get me from jail.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m not that stupid, you know. Despite the choices I made tonight, I pride myself on having a decent level of common sense. When you guys got there, it seemed like the list of things I’d done wrong was endless, and suddenly my bail’s been posted I’m out with barely the threat of community service. So who did you sell your soul to or promise your firstborn child to in order to get us out?”
“You mean our firstborn child?”
Although the phrase gives rise to a dozen butterflies swarming my stomach, I choose to ignore it because if Cole’s avoiding my question, it means things are worse than what I’m currently imagining.
“Gosh, you guys are cheesy, I love it!” Cami pops her head between our seats. “So where are we going now?”
“You, Camryn, are going home to Tessa’s, where you will sleep off the alcohol. Then I’m taking my girlfriend away from you so that she doesn’t make any more rash decisions and we talk this out like normal, rational adults.”
She bursts out laughing. “What? You think I’m the corruptive influence here? Have you ever met the girl you’re dating? Or, well, her alter ego? I like to call her Petunia because no one blooms like Tess over here after a shot or two of tequila.”
I groan. “Can you please not remind me.”
She shrugs. “I’m just saying that it’s okay to let loose and have fun once in a while.”
“You guys got arrested.”
“Oh, come on, Stone! I thought you were all about the silver lining in life.”
My head starts to pound, a clear sign of the monster headache I’ll be getting tomorrow, so I let the two children banter. Once Cami is dropped off at my house and everyone goes their separate ways, Cole drives me to Rusty’s, the diner where I used to work during high school. He orders us cheeseburgers, chili fries, and milkshakes, and I think his aim is to either increase my cholesterol levels or feed me so that any remaining effects of alcohol vanish.
I play with the filthy salt and pepper shakers as the aged waitress slowly moves out of earshot after taking our order.
“I wish you’d let me change, at least. I’d like to be a little more covered up before getting a lecture.”
He gives me a once-over, not a judgmental or sexual one, just an observant one, as if only now taking in the scrap of black cloth that Beth forced me into.
“That’s not your dress, is it?”
I shrug. “After you left, I didn’t really feel like sitting around in my pajamas feeling sorry for myself. So we decided to go out, and it was all going fine until those girls…” Rage courses through me as I think about them, a group of drunk coeds who seemed to take your average football groupie to a horrific new level.
“Yeah, about them…the video was intense. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but Jesus, Tessie, the only thing that’s stopping me from taking a swing at her myself is the fact that she’s a girl.”
That’s when I notice his shaking hands as he grips the table. I also notice that he’s still wearing his tux, the jacket of which he now takes off and gets up to drape around me. Instead of going back to his side of the booth, he simply lifts me up and then settles me sideways in his lap.
“Tell me so that I can stop coming up with the worst scenarios possible in my mind.”
I play with a button on his shirt and rest my head on his shoulder. I’m probably stinking of alcohol and jail, but Cole doesn’t flinch at our nearness.
“It was my fault, I guess; who drives only an hour away to escape a certain situation? They knew me, or, well, they’d heard of my family. But that wasn’t the big deal; they didn’t seem like the type to care about politics. They did, on the other hand, know you; well, one of them did.” Cole’s body stiffens beneath my touch, his arms locking around my waist, and I know he realizes that whatever I’m about to tell him won’t make him happy.
“Before you get it in your head that everything bad that happens to me happens because of you, just take a step back. You’re somewhat famous in the college athlete arena or whatever.” I shrug to try to break the tension. “Besides, she knew you from military school but, you know, not in the biblical sense.”
What is it with me putting my foot in my mouth? The minute I say this, Cole’s face is masked by anger.
“What I meant to say was that she must either have gone to school with you or knows someone who did because she definitely knew who I was. She came up to me and started spewing all this nonsense about how you were so much better off without me. Now, I may have my share of insecurities, but no one gets to fill my head with self-destructive ideas unless it’s me. And I’m not about that anymore, I don’t engage in that kind of self-harm, and I’ve worked so hard…” my voice breaks as I find myself getting emotional again, “…I’ve worked really hard to make sure that I don’t doubt myself, that I feel good about who I am, and nobody gets to take that away from me.”
“Shortcake,” Cole gasps and grasps my chin roughly before kissing me into submission. It’s a kiss of acceptance, of the acknowledgment of my pain and my struggle and of frustration, his frustration that somehow, some way he ends up being the reason why the demons inside my head keeping popping back up.
“I don’t know what to say,” he tells me between kisses, his lips lingering, his arms secure around me and cradling my body to his, “but the fact is that I’m glad that you keep me around.”
“Hey, stop. Neither of us is doing this, there’s no self-blame here. The only thing I regret is getting violent, I shouldn’t have let her get to me, but she seemed to, uh…”
“What?” he hesitates before asking, like maybe the information I hold is like a ticking time bomb, and maybe it is.
“She seemed to be quite familiar with your sexual preferences.” I blush from head to toe, my face reddening at an alarming pace, and for a minute there, even Cole looks flabbergasted.
“What does that even mean?”
I clear my throat. “She seemed really confident that a plain Jane like me couldn’t keep you interested because you were secretly…” I lower my voice so that no one hears me, because everyone working here right now is pushing sixty and I don’t want them to be scandalized. They already think my family and I work for Satan, so let’s not give them more of a reason to call the priest.
“I’m secretly what? Shortcake, I have to admit, this is one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever had, and that’s including the one I had with Nana Stone when she tried to give me the sex talk. There were pie charts and graphics. I think it took me a year to recover.”
“Shh! Don’t say the s-word here.”
“What, sex? What’s wrong with saying sex?”
I push against his chest. “Would it kill you to listen to me for once? What if I want the diner people to think I’m saving myself for marriage? Don’t you think that’ll help my reputation?”
He rolls his eyes. “Well, you didn’t save yourself for marriage, and you’re hardly wearing the scarlet letter.”
“You’re right, this really is a weird conversation. But what
I was saying was that this girl seemed to think that you were into,” I close my eyes and say it in one go, “BDSM, and that you stole your dad’s handcuffs and ran a secret club back in military school.”
I’d squeezed my eyes shut when saying this and when I open them, for a minute the only sound I hear is that coming from the kitchen. Cole and I stare at each other; I’m mortified, of course. If he admits to it, I don’t think I’ll ever look at him the same way ever again.
“Handcuffs?”
I nod.
“Secret BDSM sex club?”
I nod again.
It takes him a while to stop laughing and I eat his food as well as mine as punishment.
***
I don’t go back home; Cole is insistent that I stay the night with him despite my reservations about Cassandra or Sheriff Stone not wanting me there. He calls me out on my bullshit and all but drags me inside. Once he stopped laughing, he’d told me that he in no way is into those things, but then added that he’d be open to try it if I was.
I haven’t stopped blushing; I think my face could permanently turn red if he doesn’t stop dropping hints.
Inside his parents’ house, I’m hit with a strong scent of freshly baked goods. Someone’s pottering about in the kitchen but I can’t see anyone else, which is a relief. I’m too ashamed to face Cole’s parents, now knowing that they were the ones who pulled some strings to get me and my friends out of jail without actually serving time. We’re doing community service instead, which I’m all up for. I need things to occupy my mind before I overthink myself into an early death.
“Shit, I think I left my wallet in the car.” Cole pats down the back pockets of his slacks. As always, despite the fact that he’s had to chase me down and rescue me, he looks as handsome and breathtaking as always. There’s something about a man who can pull off a suit that just speaks to all women out there and makes them swoon.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and I’ll be up in a minute; I’ll also try to steal whatever’s being made in the kitchen because I can literally see the hearts in your eyes.”