by Jay Nadal
“So why didn’t you just leave, and still have the baby?”
“Jason would have always been in my life because of the baby. As long as I had his baby, he had an influence in my life; he had a way of controlling me. He’d told me on plenty of occasions that if I left him, he’d track me down.” Cara grabbed Scott’s jacket and looked pleadingly into his eyes. “Scott, you’ve got to believe me. I’ve always wanted a family. I’ve always wanted children, but it had to be with the right person.”
Scott turned away and looked out towards the sea, his eyes drawn to the emptiness of a vast ocean. “But you kept this from me. Meanwhile, we had all this shit going on and it was all down to him. I thought we had no secrets.” He shook his head as he stared down at the ground unable to look her in the eyes.
“I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark and not telling you sooner. When an amazing relationship like this creeps up on you, coupled with what you’ve already been through, I genuinely didn’t know how to tell you. I couldn’t just say ‘Hi, I love being your girlfriend, and oh, by the way, I was once pregnant but didn’t want the baby so I had an abortion!’”
Scott shot her an angry glance, and shook his head in frustration. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Sorry, Scott. I didn’t mean to be flippant. I fell in love with you, Scott, and the deeper I fell in love with you the harder it became to tell you. I know how much you’ve struggled every single day since losing your family, and I know just how much Becky meant to you. I was worried that you might think I didn’t take the life of a child seriously, because if I did, I wouldn’t have had a termination. I know I’m not making a lot of sense,” Cara said, rubbing her temples with her thumbs and squeezing eyes tight. “I hope you understand my reasons at the time. I guess I ran away. I tried to get as far away as possible. To start a new life.”
Scott’s mind raced. He hated deceit; he despised lies. But he loved Cara, too. She’d brought brightness and happiness back into his life.
“I can’t say that I’m completely okay about this. I do understand your reasons for leaving and your decision. God knows, I’ve seen the fallout from so many abusive relationships in my job, and you did something that a lot of women are unable to do, and that’s to walk away.
“In my eyes, every child’s life is so precious, whether born or unborn. And when my child was taken away from me, I guess I found it hard to comprehend why anyone would deliberately terminate a life. I guess that’s why I was so confused towards you.”
“I know. I don’t blame you for being funny towards me. I just want you to appreciate the circumstances I was in that led me to making that decision. I love you, Scott Baker. Please find it in your heart to forgive me,” Cara said through moist eyes as her bottom lip trembled.
Scott closed his eyes as they rested on each other’s foreheads, their noses touching in a flutter of Eskimo kisses. Cara had filled a void in his life and for that he was grateful. She was right; everyone makes mistakes. It was his own internal demons that he was battling and if he was honest with himself, Cara’s situation was a distraction for him to deflect the anger that boiled inside of him.
“No more secrets,” he whispered.
“I promise.”
Current book list
Hop over to my website for a current list of books:
http://jaynadal.com/current-books/
Detective Inspector Scott Baker Series
Book 1 – Greed
Book 2 – Stolen
Book 3 – Retribution
Book 4 – Captive
Book 5 – Sacrifice
Book 6 – Isolation
Book 7 – Missing
Collaborative Series
Book 1 - You Saw Too Much
Book 2 - Don’t Look Back
Standalone Psychological Thriller
Last One Alive
Thomas Cade Thriller Series
Book 1 – Last Shot
Book 2 – Dying Truth
Book 3 – Too Close to Home
Book 4 – Her Last Breath (coming soon)
Stay in Touch
Here are other ways to stay in touch as well:
Like my page on Facebook: Jay Nadal
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Email [email protected] with any questions, ideas or interesting story suggestions. Hey, even if you spot a typo that we’ve missed, then drop me a line!
Acknowledgments
There are a number of people without whom this book would not have been written and I want to thank them whilst I have the chance. Without their input, advice and support, I would have not got this far.
First, my thanks to Detective Inspector Andy Wolstenholme of Sussex Police, based in Brighton, whose invaluable advice on technical and local policing has proved invaluable. The tour of Brighton police station helped immensely. Thanks Andy.
To Detective Sergeant Sara Yems of the Metropolitan Police for her ongoing support and advice on police procedural issues which allowed me to focus on my writing.
To Kelly Lowe of the Queen’s Hospital mortuary whose invaluable and detailed insight into the work of the mortuary team and the guided tour allowed me to develop a deeper understanding of post-mortems.
I’d also like to thank some very special beta readers who helped me to stay focused by writing compelling stories. I’ll never forget their support, advice, feedback and encouragement. Thank you Clare Doughty, Jay Rughani and Paul Henderson.
Finally, my heartfelt gratitude to Joanna Walker my cover designer, and Tami Stark my editor and David Davison, my fantastic and very talented proofreader.
About the Author
I’ve always had a strong passion for whodunnits, crime series and books. The more I immersed myself in it, the stronger the fascination grew.
I live on my own by the forest, but have the pleasure of my two lovely daughters aged eighteen and thirteen coming to stay with me a few days each week. In my spare time you’ll find me in the gym, reading books from authors in my genre or enjoying walks in the forest…It’s amazing what you think of when you give yourself some space.
Oh, and I’m an avid people-watcher. I just love to watch the interaction between people, their mannerisms, their way of expressing their thoughts…Weird I know, but I could spend hours engrossed in it.
I adore Brighton having spent a lot of my life here; the diversity of people, the relaxed and vibrant atmosphere never dulls my enthusiasm for this beautiful and special city.
I hope you enjoy the stories that I craft for you.