Richard shook his head from side to side sadly. “No, I do not believe myself better than anyone. But I do believe that whomever we decide to marry ought to be able to trust us as much as we would trust them.” Richard stepped back to join Georgiana. “Unfortunately, Georgiana knows all about Miss Ainsworth and your son.”
Lord Hugh shook with anger and looked as though he was about to explode. He let out a deep roar from somewhere in his stomach and charged at Richard.
Richard, taking hold of Georgiana by the shoulders, merely stepped to the side.
Lord Hugh slipped on the ice, lost his footing, and fell face first down onto the freezing cold surface. The crowd erupted into laughter.
“I think it is time we left,” Richard said, taking Georgiana by the arm and leading her towards their carriage.
Georgiana was stunned but admitted more than ever that she was glad to not have thrown away her heart on such a worthless man.
Twenty-Seven
Richard and Georgiana drove home in silence. Georgiana was aware that her cousin kept looking at her. She sensed he was still angry over his exchange with Lord Hugh.
Upon arriving back at Pembroke Square, the pair discovered that Lady Matlock had retired early for the night, leaving them to dine alone.
After changing clothes, Georgiana joined Richard in the dining room. She was still shaken, and Lord Hugh’s words reverberated in her mind.
“I’m sorry you had to endure that,” Richard finally spoke once the servants had departed.
Georgiana shrugged. “I suppose it was inevitable that some kind of altercation was going to take place.” She stirred the soup with her spoon. “I just wish it had not been quite so public. I am certain a good deal of people will think we were engaged.”
Richard fell silent, and they ate quietly for some time.
Georgiana put her spoon down when she’d had enough of the soup and viewed her cousin across the table. “I’m just deeply grateful you were there to come to my assistance.”
Richard smiled back at her wanly. “And what if I had not been there for you?” Lines appeared around his eyes telling of his deep worry. He cocked his head to the side. “What if I had still been at war and not in England at all? What would have happened then?”
Georgiana swallowed hard. She did not want to even think about what might have happened had Richard not being present this whole time.
“Would you have been coerced into marrying him?”
Georgiana did not have time to reply as Hobbs returned and cleared away the soup bowls. She surveyed the food laid out neatly on the dining table, her appetite waning, and wondered what the future held for her.
“Felicity in marriage is entirely a matter of chance, I have heard it say and personally have observed,” Richard’s voice was small and weary. “I always dreamt of marrying for love. After all, one is to live with one’s spouse until death do us part. However, I am pragmatic. I am the youngest son. I have the small fortune I amassed in the wars with Napoléon, and I know I must marry a woman with money or else condemn myself to a miserly and possibly miserable future.”
Georgiana gazed back at him through her eyelashes and her heart went out to him. She wanted to yell, “But I love you and I have a fortune. Won’t you think of me?” Instead, she reached out and held his hand across the table.
“I think if there is one thing we have both learnt from our time here in London, it is that we must be sure and know our minds and hearts completely before we consent to marriage.” He held her gaze steadily.
She believed she read a deeper meaning within his eyes. “You’re quite right.”
“I think we both have a lot of thinking to do.” Richard pushed his plate away from him. Just like Georgiana, his appetite was gone.
“What do you mean?”
“Whatever decisions we make to secure our future have long-lasting consequences.” He gazed into the flame of a candle. “I know I would like to be sure of my heart before I give it away.”
“Indeed,” she replied, dabbing at the corners of her mouth with a napkin. Georgiana had thought about her future. In recent days, she had spent time pondering where her heart lay. She did not know if she could say she was truly and deeply in love, but, if asked, she could confess that she had a strong and growing affection for the man sitting opposite her. Was it true love? She did not know. The knot in her stomach and the shame that she felt inside told her that she was too young and inexperienced to understand such things. However, when she thought of Richard marrying another woman, she felt as though her heart were being ripped out.
Richard pushed back his chair and rose. “Think I too shall retire for the night.”
Before Georgiana could respond, he bowed and took his leave.
Georgiana remained alone in the dining room staring at the empty chair Richard had so recently vacated. She fought against an emotional tide that threatened to force her to run after him. She gripped the arms of the chair. He is right. I need to think long and hard about my future, just as he does. I need to be certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I do love him.
Georgiana pushed her own chair back and stood up. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. What am I thinking? she asked herself. I cannot be sure at all that he returns my affection.
Again, she felt the crushing sensation of her heart being ripped out. Her eyes stung as she held back the tears. Trying not to run to her room, Georgiana measuredly placed one foot in front of the other and walked calmly upstairs. Once inside her room, with the door closed behind her, she threw herself on the bed, the tide of emotion overcoming her.
Twenty-eight
When Georgiana finally stopped crying, she rose from the bed, washed, and changed into her nightgown. Unfortunately, sleep did not find her that night. Instead, she wrote a lengthy letter to Elizabeth. She described the altercation on the ice, everything that happened before, and her discussion with Richard after.
Georgiana stopped midsentence, the tears threatening to fall again. After composing herself, she touched pen to paper again and scratched her feelings out to her sister-in-law.
My dear Elizabeth, apart from my beloved brother, Richard Fitzwilliam is the most amiable man of my acquaintance. I prefer him above any other man I have ever met. Am I fooling myself again? Am I falling in love with the wrong man?
Richard is everything a man ought to be. He is gallant, respectable, full of wisdom, and undeniably handsome. His steadfast protection of me during my stay here has touched me deeply. He has gone above and beyond what any other cousin would do.
I confess, dear sister-in-law, myself to be smitten. I wish you were here to give me your wisdom.
She ended the missive by sending love to all and signing her name.
She paused and remembered when she danced with Richard here in this house. She was certain then of his regard. The remembrance heated her body and sent that now welcome shock of lightning through her. One thing she understood: when they danced together, he wanted her as deeply as a man can want a woman. She closed her eyes and savoured the sensation firing through her body.
When the light of dawn spread its fingers through the crack in the curtain, Georgiana slipped out of bed, having only slept a little. She crept down the stairs with the intention of placing the letter on the platter to be posted that morning. As she reached the table, she encountered Hobbs.
“I will take the letter for you, Miss Darcy,” he smiled kindly at her. “I expect there will be no post for a good few days at least, until a thaw comes.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Georgiana frowned.
“It snowed heavily in the night, Miss Darcy.” The old man sighed wearily. “I doubt very much even a carriage with sleigh tracks can get through that.”
Georgiana darted to the front door and pulled back the curtain that covered one of the full-length windows on either side. She gasped. “That must be at least a foot deep!”
“I believe it is, Miss. Might I suggest you retire to th
e warmth of your room, and I will have tea and hot water for washing sent up.”
Georgiana turned back and smiled at the butler. “Thank you. That would be very nice. It is a little chilly down here.”
She scuttled back up the stairs and to her room, where she curled up under a blanket in the armchair before the fireplace and dozed off to sleep. When she woke up, a steaming hot cup of tea was waiting for her.
* * *
Richard barely slept a wink. Each time he closed his eyes, he thought of Georgiana. He tried rationalising his reflections, but each time his heart intervened and told of his ardent love for his young cousin.
Richard had been around long enough to have made a fool of himself in love more than once. He still burned with shame over his infatuation with a married woman. He knew now that it was who she was and what she represented that he loved the most. She was still the most steadfast woman he had ever met. Her unswerving devotion to her husband was admirable.
He then remembered Doña Rocio. The exotic Spanish beauty he rescued from the firing squad knew how to manipulate any man into giving her what she wanted. He would be forever eternally grateful for the fortune she bestowed upon him for saving her life, and he could not blame her for rushing into matrimony with the Andalusian viscount. Rich, beautiful women have to think about their own financial future. If he owned the truth, he was never in love with her to begin with. He was flattered by her attentions and enamoured with her foreign ways and looks.
He rolled over in bed and stared at the ceiling. Within the plasterwork pattern, Georgiana’s face stared down at him smiling.
His growing affection for Georgiana was a completely different thing. He had known her from the moment she was born. He remembered her as a sweet, playful child who was painfully shy around strangers. This winter he discovered she had transformed into quite a different creature. She was now an elegant, beautiful, and accomplished young woman. She quite took his breath away.
What Fitzwilliam Darcy would say if he knew Richard was in love with his sister, Richard did not know. Neither did he care. He laughed at himself. Only love produced that devil-may-care attitude that made him want to throw all caution to the wind, dash to her room that minute, and ask her to be his wife.
He rose from the bed, crossed the room, and stared out of the window at the heavily falling snow. He contemplated ringing the bell to forewarn the servants when there was a tap at the door. He opened it to discover Hobbs already knew. He let the chambermaid in to stoke up the fire and returned to staring out of the window.
Come morning, I shall have to know my own mind. Is Georgiana Darcy the woman I wish to spend the rest of my life with? Can I imagine my life without her? How would I feel if she married another?
At the thought, Richard groaned and slumped heavily against the wall. His stomach churned, and he felt sick. It was then he knew his heart and mind were in complete agreement. He loved Georgiana.
Twenty-nine
Christmas Eve
The temperature remained below freezing all that morning. Aunt Henrietta worried that the carollers would not come calling nor would they be able to make it to church for the midnight service. Georgiana hoped the snow would hold off long enough for them to attend.
Soon after breakfast, Richard attempted to catch Georgiana’s attention and pull her to the side. “Can we talk?” he asked.
“Of course,” Georgiana replied, following him towards the study.
“Georgiana, my dear!” Aunt Henrietta called from the dining room.
“Yes, Aunt?” Georgiana cried back, watching the expression of disappointment on Richard’s face.
Aunt Henrietta appeared at the door. “I doubt there will be a single flower to be got in the whole of London today. Would you help me rearrange what we already have in the house?”
Georgiana inclined her head in acquiescence. “Certainly, Aunt. I’ll be with you directly.”
Satisfied, Aunt Henrietta disappeared back into the dining room. Georgiana looked up into her cousin’s face, her heart sunken in disappointment. She relished the chance to spend some time alone with Richard, but now the opportunity was gone. “I’m sorry. Can we talk later?”
He nodded, a sad smile playing on his mouth. “Most certainly. What I have to say to you can wait.” He stretched and stifled a yawn. “Besides, I barely slept a wink last night.”
“You are not the only one who spent a sleepless night.”
Their eyes locked, and in Richard’s she saw what she believed were her own sentiments reflected exactly. Hope ignited in her belly.
“I must go to my aunt,” she said reluctantly, not moving a muscle.
They remained motionless staring into each other’s eyes.
“You best not keep Mama waiting, then.”
Georgiana could barely breathe let alone walk away from Richard. Her eyes drifted down to his mouth as she watched it curl up into a happy smile.
Richard closed the gap between them. “Georgiana, I—”
“Georgiana, are you coming?” Aunt Henrietta called.
Unenthusiastically, Georgiana dragged herself away from Richard. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as she tripped towards the dining room. “Later, I promise.”
As she turned the corner into the dining room, she took one last look at Richard and saw him take a deep breath and sigh.
* * *
Aunt Henrietta kept Georgiana busy for most of the day. A pathway was cleared in the garden down to the great holly bush by the summer pergola. Georgiana put on as many outer layers as possible to make the trek to the end of the garden to cut some holly.
Aunt Henrietta insisted that Georgiana go and cut some sprigs of holly rather than one of the servants. “They would not possibly know what it is we want,” she whined. “You and I have both been working on the floral arrangements and decorations all morning. You are the best person to gather the holly for you know precisely what is needed.”
Georgiana was tired, and the lack of sleep was catching her up, but she did as her aunt bade. She wondered what Richard was doing as she stepped out of the French doors and crossed the garden, secateurs and trug in one hand and the other desperately clinging on to any bush or tree to prevent her from falling. She suspected that Richard was snuggled up under his thick blankets getting the sleep that she too so desperately needed.
“It’s frightfully slippery out here,” she called back to her aunt who remained watching from the French doors.
“Then watch your step! What would I say to your brother if you took a fall and broke your ankle?”
Georgiana giggled and waved the secateurs in the air. “Fear not! I am certain he would understand. After all it is in pursuit of the finest holly in the land!”
She could hear her aunt laughing behind her. “I very much doubt that would placate him. Nevertheless, do be careful, my dear.”
Once she arrived at the holly bush, Georgiana planted her feet shoulder-width apart for balance and began to search for the best sprigs. In her day, Aunt Henrietta had been a most excellent gardener. She had ensured that both male and female holly bushes had been planted for an abundance of berries. There was plenty for Georgiana to choose from.
Unable to work the secateurs with her mittens on, Georgiana reticently removed them. Unfortunately, this meant that not only were her hands plunged into the freezing air, but they were now open to full attack from the holly itself. She did her best not to get too scratched up, selecting not only sprigs abundant with lush deep green leaves, but some from the other bushes with the brightest and plumpest red berries.
As Georgiana withdrew her hand from the bush, one particularly spiky leaf scratched down the back of her hand. Georgiana winced and clutched it to her. Warm blood trickled down towards her fingers. “Enough is enough,” she muttered to herself. “I shall not get lacerated just for a little seasonal foliage for the house.”
Georgiana bent down and picked up the trug. As she turned around in her haste to get back to the house
, Georgiana lost her footing and slipped on the icy ground. She tumbled backwards, falling awkwardly, and hitting her head on the frozen pathway. She closed her eyes, cringing in pain, and aware that she had let out a high-pitched scream.
The next couple of minutes were a complete blur for Georgiana. Richard’s face appeared out of nowhere. Then she had the sensation of being carried. Finally, she was warm and opened her eyes to find she was stretched out upon the settee in the drawing room.
She brushed Aunt Henrietta’s hand away from her forehead. “Please don’t make such a fuss,” Georgiana begged. “I’m not injured, I assure you.”
Aunt Henrietta folded her arms across her chest. “I shall be the judge of that, young lady,” she stated, pursing her lips. “You took a nasty tumble and hit your head.”
Richard, perched on the edge of the settee, added his voice to his mother’s. “Mama is right. I saw everything from my bedroom window.”
Georgiana looked up at him from her reclining position, and her heart swelled at the thought of him watching her the whole time. “I am quite well.” She reached up and touched the back of her head. “Yes, my head hurts, but I do not feel dizzy or nauseated. Other than the cuts to the backs of my hands, I do not believe I have sustained any lasting injury.”
Aunt Henrietta huffed. “One can never be sure,” she warned, seating herself in the armchair opposite, her face a picture of concern. “Perhaps we ought to send for the doctor. What do you think, Richard?”
Richard sucked the air in through his teeth. “I believe we ought to keep a very close eye on her.”
Georgiana made to protest being talked about in the third person, but Richard continued over her.
“I have seen men fall from the roofs of barns and come away unscathed or with little more than a scraped knee.”
He turned his attention back to her and she gazed at him lovingly. She liked being under his scrutiny.
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