Roman: ???
Roman: How do you know?
It was something he’d questioned each time his parents left for weeks, and again when they moved away. He wondered how he was so leavable. Not only his parents but Cassie too.
There was the truth, buried deep. In her silence, she’d abandoned him. It may not have been her choice, but that didn’t make it feel any better.
He glanced to the door, willing her to come through it again. Because he’d seen it in her eyes. His Cassie was coming back, and he would make sure she stayed this time.
Pushing the blanket off him, he slipped from the bed and crept out of his room, hoping he wouldn’t wake Jesse or the twins.
His heart thundered in his chest as he opened Cassie’s door. She slept, her face serene. He passed the dresser, noting the broken frame and picture of Mrs. Carrigan.
He didn’t stop until he was beside her bed. Crouching down, he took in the dark hair splayed across her white pillow and yellow blanket that had been kicked to the end of the bed.
“Cassie,” he whispered.
She murmured but didn’t wake.
A smile tilted his lips. He was doing this—as long as it was what she still wanted. Reaching up, he brushed hair away from her forehead. “Cass.”
Her eyelids fluttered open, and she blinked at him, her long lashes brushing her cheeks. “Rome?” Sleep clouded her voice, and she sat up, rubbing her eyes. “What are you doing?”
He blew out a breath, all the confidence he normally had around girls slinking away. “Can I sit?”
She nodded.
Roman sat across from her on the bed and folded his legs up underneath him. “I…”
A smile curled her lips. “Look who’s silent now.”
“I like it when you talk to me.” He cringed. “That sounded weird.”
“Not in this context.” She shrugged.
“I want it to be me.” He forced the words out as if he was the one who’d never been kissed before.
Cassie turned so her entire body faced him. He saw the moment understanding dawned on her shadowy face. “Roman, you don’t have to—”
“Cass, stop. Listen to me, okay. You’ve always been obsessed with romance. For a girl as tough as you, it’s been one of your more charming traits.”
“I’m not tough.”
“Okay, first rule of kiss club: No putting yourself down.”
Her lips twitched. “Kiss club? Isn’t the first rule supposed to be we don’t talk about kiss club?”
He shook his head. “That can be rule number two, but it’s not as important as the first.”
She bit back a smile and nodded. “Go on.”
“Rule number three: We—” His words cut off as Cassie leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He froze for only a second before responding.
A million thoughts raced through his mind.
This is Cassie.
Jesse is going to kill me.
I’m going to be kicked out.
Her lips parted, and she deepened the kiss, taking control as if she’d done it a million times before.
He sighed against her lips.
This is Cassie.
13
Cassie
Cade was wrong.
A kiss didn’t hold the future, but it did hold the now.
Roman groaned into the kiss, and she took that to mean she was doing something right. It felt good, right, like they should have done this a long time ago.
Neither of them knew what it meant or if it meant anything at all, but she didn’t care.
Sure, it wasn’t a declaration of undying love, but it was a moment she’d remember forever. Roman was now cemented into such an important memory.
The moment she realized she would be okay again.
The moment she learned she could still feel something, anything good.
Her fingers curled into the blond hair at the nape of Roman’s neck as she pulled him closer, his chest brushing hers. His arms wound around her back, pulling her tighter against him.
He took the air from her lungs, the thoughts from her brain.
This was the all-consuming power of a kiss her romance novels mentioned.
A sound of protest escaped Roman’s throat as she pulled away, needing to breathe. She released him and brought a finger to her tingling lips.
“You were wrong,” she whispered.
“Cass…”
“A kiss is not just a kiss.” Her eyes latched onto his in the dark, not wanting to look away. “Thank you.”
“What? You’re… thanking me?”
She nodded, chewing on her lips. Honesty, Cassie. Honesty. This was what Annie wanted, for her to reveal her mind, to share her thoughts and open herself up. “I didn’t…” She sucked in a breath. “Rome, I thought I was broken, that I could never feel the good things like others do. But I did.” A smile slid across her face. “I’m glad it was you.” She leaned forward to wrap her arms around him, marveling at the difference only a few short days could make.
She had her Roman back, her best friend.
Releasing him, she leaned back. “You’re a good friend. The best.”
He climbed off the bed and looked down at her. “I’m glad we’re friends again.”
“Me too. Night, Rome.”
He closed the door behind him, leaving Cassie to relive their kiss over and over. One day, she’d find someone who actually wanted to kiss her. She’d seen the hesitancy in Roman and wondered if for him it felt like kissing his sister.
Unlike his, her body knew he wasn’t her brother. Heat rushed down her limbs as she remembered the way he’d hugged her to him. Was that the way his girlfriends felt? Protected. Cherished. Wanted.
She rolled onto her stomach, the smile not straying from her face as she fell asleep with thoughts of Roman on her mind.
Morning came too early when Cassie wanted to stay in bed reliving the night before.
Images flooded her mind of Roman in the dark, preparing to kiss her. Roman leaning forward. Roman giving her what she asked for, what she needed.
It was an experiment, a test. She swiped her finger across the screen of her surprisingly not broken Kindle, ready to forgive Cade for putting these thoughts in her mind, for challenging her.
“I shouldn’t have doubted you.” Yep, she was talking to a fictional character, but it was his fault.
He’d turned her into a sap obsessed with a kiss.
Brushing a finger across her lips for the millionth time, she could still feel the ghost of his touch.
“I’m sorry I got mad at you,” she said to Cade. “I was just scared.” Scared she’d never be normal, scared her anxiety would keep her from living her life.
Maybe it would. But she didn’t think so. She’d overcome it to repair her relationship with Roman, hadn’t she? And then asked him to kiss her.
Was that dumb?
Probably. Did she care? Yes. She released a sigh. How was she supposed to leave her room and face him now?
Solution! She wouldn’t. It wasn’t the first time she planned to stay in bed with her books all day. The twins could be coerced into bringing her food.
She burrowed further under her covers to avoid the chill in her room. Even when Florida cooled off in the winter, Jesse blasted the air conditioning.
Her stomach growled, but she tried to ignore it.
When it growled again, she reached for her phone and dialed her brother. Jesse picked up on the second ring. “Why are you calling me from inside the house?”
“I’m hungry.”
“And? Your legs aren’t broken. Rome and I are making bacon. Come get some.”
Her breath hitched at the mention of Roman. “I can’t.”
“Lazy bones.”
“Jess, I can’t get out of bed.”
His voice went from teasing to concerned. “Are you sick?”
“Yes. That. I’m sick.”
“Shit, Cass. I’m sorry. I’ll bring you up something to ea
t.”
“Thanks, bro. You’re the best.”
“I know.” He hung up.
Guilt gnawed at her for lying to her brother, but she needed to get over this awkward desire to kiss Roman again.
Jesse nudged her door open a few minutes later, carrying a bowl on a tray. He set it down on her bed.
“Oatmeal?” She leaned forward to peek into the bowl. “I thought you were making bacon.”
Jesse eyed her. “I didn’t think your stomach could handle the grease if you’re sick.”
He knew. Somehow, her brother could tell she was lying. Annie would be very disappointed at how her patient was failing the honesty assignment.
Jesse pulled the desk chair to the side of the bed and sat, crossing his arms over his chest. “So, what’s… ailing you this morning?”
She coughed. “My throat. My head.”
He nodded. “I should call Mary to come watch the boys so I can take you to the doctor.”
“No!”
Jesse smirked.
Cassie schooled her face. “I just mean… it’s Sunday… and you know how I am at public places like hospitals.” She stuck a spoonful of tasteless oatmeal in her mouth. He hadn’t even put any butter in it.
“Knock-knock.” Roman appeared in the doorway with a plate balancing on one hand. “I come bearing bacon!”
“Oh my gosh, I think I love you.” Cassie clamped her mouth shut. Had she really just said that?
Roman’s lips twitched up. “Well, I think I can live with that.” He held the plate out for her to take a few strips.
She busied herself with eating as Roman hopped onto the end of the bed. Neither of them said a word, and each time their gazes connected, they looked away.
The silence stretched over them like an awkward weight. Only hours ago, they’d both sat on this bed and…
Cassie reached for another piece of bacon, jumping back when her hand brushed Roman’s.
He jerked away so violently he fell off the end of the bed.
A nervous laugh burst from Cassie.
Jesse reached for the plate of bacon. “This apparently isn’t safe here.” He set it on his lap, his eyes flicked from Cassie to Roman. “What is wrong with you two?”
“Nothing,” they both said too quickly.
His brow creased. “Then stop being weird.”
Roman scoffed. “We’re not weird, you’re weird.”
Cassie stifled a laugh as Jesse stared at him like he had two heads. Yeah, Jess was not the weird one in this scenario.
Jesse leveled Cassie with a stare. “My sister says she’s sick, but I think she’s just lovesick.”
Both Cassie and Roman’s eyes snapped to him. “What?” Cassie choked. “I’m not… no… that’s—”
“It’s those cheesy romance novels you get sucked into. It’s the weekend, and all you want to do is read. See? Lovesick. It’s gross, Cass. Read your romance novels all you want, that’s fine, but don’t close yourself up in here on a day like today.”
He pointed to the window where they could see the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight.
Roman perched on the end of the bed again and held her gaze. “Hang out with us.”
His request seemed so sincere. It was on the tip of her tongue to say no, but Jesse cut in before she could. “Charlie and Hadley are meeting us at the beach in an hour. It’s February, and the waters freezing, so no one will be at Turtle Cove. Even the surfers will probably stay home since no one wants to get into the water this soon after a storm.”
She used to love the beach after storms when the waves were still kicked up. Sure, the water was polluted with run-off right afterward, but it was pretty to look at all the same.
That was before. Now, living in the after, she rarely went to the places she’d loved.
“Cass.” Roman’s low voice had her turning his way. “Come.”
“I don’t want to be a fifth wheel.” She’d seen the way Roman and Hadley were together. The wild blond was the kind of girl who probably didn’t have to ask him to kiss her.
“You’re never a fifth wheel.” His forehead creased.
Jesse, oblivious as ever, jumped in. “Of course, she’s not. Please, Cass. It’s just the beach with friends. You don’t even have to talk to Roman if you don’t want to. I mean, none of us really do.” He grinned at his own joke.
Roman kicked his foot out, catching Jesse’s chair. Jesse had to grab the bed frame to right himself again, but he laughed as he did it.
Cassie envied the ease at which her brother went through life, laughing, loving, feeling.
She wanted that too.
Nodding her head slowly, she found herself saying a slow, “okay.”
Both boys grinned, and she wondered what kind of day she was in for with Roman Sullivan, the boy she wanted to kiss again.
Maybe Jesse was right. Her romance novels turned her into a lovesick fool… or a hopeless romantic.
Either way, she was screwed.
14
Roman
She came. Roman still couldn’t believe it. After two years of turning down every one of Jesse’s invitations to go places with them, Cassie stood on the beach staring out at the waves.
She’d barely said anything to him, but that didn’t matter as much anymore. He didn’t care how she treated him as long as she started to treat herself better, to recover the girl she’d once been.
“Mom loved the beach.” Her voice was more wistful than sad.
Jesse wrapped an arm around her. “You never talk about her. Twice in two days… that’s got to be a record.”
She shrugged. “Annie gave me an assignment to start saying whatever is on my mind and stop thinking so much.”
“Is it working?”
She peered over her shoulder at Roman. “I think so.”
Was that why she’d asked him to kiss her? He’d tried reconciling this new Cassie with that nighttime request, but it hadn’t seemed like her at all—not that he didn’t enjoy it. He did. A lot.
And he wanted to do it again.
He scrubbed a hand over his face, reminding himself not to go there. A car door slamming saved him from his thoughts.
Hadley ran down the beach from the parking lot and slung an arm over his neck. “Hey, handsome.”
“Hadley.” He grinned. Most of the guys in the school would love attention from a girl like her, but he just genuinely enjoyed being friends with her.
Charlie melted into Jesse’s arms as if they hadn’t seen each other in ages. Hadley released him and bent over, gagging.
Roman laughed. Yeah, Jess and Charlotte were pretty sickening. His eyes drifted to Cassie who’d started walking up the lonely beach as soon as the girls arrived.
Hadley swatted Roman. “Cass looks like she could use some company.” She waggled her eyebrows.
A blush crept up Roman’s cheeks. “What do you know? And how?” He grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the others.
“Awww.” She poked his cheek. “Roman Sullivan is a blusher. That’s adorable.”
“I prefer ruggedly handsome but go on. Answer my question.”
“Relax… I didn’t actually know anything was going on until your face turned red like a nun’s in a strip club.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“That’s life. If you don’t think the dear catholic sisters enjoy a little Thunder Down Under when they’re in Vegas, you’re adorably naïve.”
He chuckled and turned away from her to catch sight of Cassie standing at the edge of the water. Hadley stepped up beside him. “How’s she doing?”
That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? How was Cassandra Carrigan doing? Was she recovering from having her life ripped apart? Did she still have trauma from wondering if she too was about to die?
Did something like that ever fade away?
“I don’t know.”
Hadley looked sideways at him. “Aren’t you living there?”
“When we were young
er, Cassie wore her heart on her sleeve. I never had to guess what went through her mind because I could read her so well.”
She smiled. “I remember when she went to school with us. You three were inseparable. Everyone assumed you two were together. It’s why most of the girls didn’t like her.”
“It was never like that between us. It was platonic back then, but she was my person, you know?” He didn’t know why he was telling Hadley any of this, but it wasn’t like he could talk to Jesse.
“And now?”
“What?”
“Is it still platonic?”
He rubbed his eyes, tearing them away from Cassie to look down at Hadley. “On her end it is.”
“I knew it!” A grin stretched across her face. “This is so juicy. Ex-best friend moves into the bedroom next door. Sparks fly. Butterfly wings flutter. And boom!”
“Boom what?”
She sighed and started singing. “Love is in the air.”
“Hadley.” He clapped a hand over her mouth. “Stop.”
She pushed him away and grinned. “Maybe you shouldn’t be over here with me. Go talk to her.”
“I can’t.”
She crossed her arms. “Roman Sullivan, are you a coward?”
“I kissed her,” he blurted.
She raised an eyebrow, a grin playing on her lips.
“It didn’t mean anything to her, just a first kiss type of thing. And now she won’t look at me or talk to me. I can live with her never wanting to kiss me again, but after the last couple days, I can’t go back to the silence.”
Hadley’s grin dropped. “Then don’t give up on her.” She turned and sprinted to where Charlie and Jesse had set up beach chairs, her long hair flying out behind her.
“Roman Sullivan, are you a coward?”
No, he wasn’t. He walked to where Cassie bent over at the edge of the water. She lifted her round sunglasses to peer at a translucent crab in the sand.
A gust of wind blew the hair from Roman’s forehead and caught in Cassie’s brown hat, lifting it from her head. She reached for it, but it flew down the beach, bouncing along the sand.
Roman and the Hopeless Romantic (Gulf City High Book 2) Page 9